Disclaimers: I still don't own The Chronicles of Narnia, regrettably enough, but to rub salt in the wound I now have to admit that I don't own Pirates of the Caribbean, either. Well, except Will. I claim him whatever happens. You can have the monkey.
Why is it, why? that nasty things have to happen on perfectly normal perfectly enjoyable days?
That's what this day had been.
"Isn't it still?" Ed wanted to know.
"No."
"Oh. Sorry. Continue, Your Majesty." Edmund was still mindlessly drilling away at the chair, shavings falling to the floor. Lucy still didn't notice.
A perfectly normal, perfectly enjoyable day. And then something happens to ruin it. Consistently. Always. Unfailingly. Without exception.
Although, Lucy had to admit, this was as close to an exception as you could get and still say that "something happened." It was really more like, "I happened on something." But on what precisely?
She had been down to the treasure chamber that morning. It was the brooch that made her do it. The stupid, silver, pin-on brooch. Her best one. Not too big, not too small, accented her blue eyes perfectly, set with a myriad of tiny deep-sky-colored sapphires, and missing. Always missing. Always always missing. Consistently. Unfailingly. Without exception.
In fact, she had never even seen it.
Susan said it was all those things, and she did have such good taste. Susan had bought it for her from the silversmith at Beaversdam several months ago, and left it on her bed. When Lucy looked for it, it wasn't there. Go figure. She forgot about it until a helpful raven found it in a dumb (as in unable to speak) blue jay's nest, and kindly returned it to Susan, who gave it to a faun to deliver to Lucy. Did it ever get delivered to Lucy? Want to guess? The faun wandered around for a while before clumsily dropping the jewelry out the window while trying to catch a piece of dandelion fluff. Brilliant.
Only this morning it was found again, and delivered to the treasure chamber. A message was taken to Lucy, and she set out to catch the tricky thing once and for all.
As she picked her way between chests and suits of armor and various scattered gemstones, Lucy reflected on the need the poor room had of organization. Serious organization. And cleaning, she added, noting the dismal untouched look of all the treasure. She sneezed. Dust flew. So did something small and furry. The Something knocked into Lucy's left arm and bounced off. Lucy jumped backward and screamed, but not very loudly. (That way if there was really nothing to scream about she could deny that she had screamed at all.) A thrill shivered up her spine.
As the air cleared, she looked up. There, swinging above her head by its tail, was a little capuchin (at least she thought it was a capuchin) monkey, wearing a ratty red vest. Lucy thought she could safely say it was about the most adorable animal she had ever seen.
"Hello there!"
The monkey chittered at her. Lucy stepped closer.
"Can you talk?"
By way of reply, the monkey stuck out its tongue at her and dropped to the floor. Lucy stepped back and watched as the funny little thing began picking through things on the floor. It nonchalantly selected a gold chain and what must be the elusive brooch (as has been mentioned, she had never seen it, and so couldn't be sure), and handed them to Lucy.
"Where did you come from?" She wondered aloud, smiling and fingering the brooch.
The monkey chittered again. It hopped up on a shelf and reached for Susan's magic horn.
"Stop that. No! no, you can't take that! Give it here! Give it to me! Hey! come-"
Before she could move, the monkey (who was looking less cute by the second) swung down to the floor and darted through a door into an adjacent room. Lucy dove after it.
As she hit the ground, (wood, not stone, and about two feet below where it should have been,) two thoughts went through her head.
Déjà vu, and ouch.
Déjà vu because it felt a great deal like the first time she blundered back out of the wardrobe into the empty room in the Professor's house, something she hardly ever thought about now.
Ouch because she wasn't expecting the drop, and it hurt!
She crouched back on her heels (something that takes considerable practice in long luscious dresses like she was wearing) and looked around.
There wasn't much to see, considering that instead of dropping out of a wardrobe, she had apparently dropped into one this time. At least, considering the dark, and the stuffiness, and the enormous amount of brocade skirt tangled around her arms, it was a pretty fair guess that she was in a closet of some kind.
The monkey, just within arm's reach, seemed to share her predicament. He got out of it faster, though, and slipped out the double doors of the wardrobe-closet place. Ignoring the thick fabric around her, Lucy shoved her way out after it, and fell again, this time onto the polished wood floor of a large room. The window was open, and the drapes were blowing wildly. The smell of gunpowder (something Lucy only identified later) was in the air, and it sounded like there was a bombing going on. Looked like it too, from the orange glow in the night outside. Lucy only just had time to grab the monkey before a young woman in nightclothes rushed into the room, eyes wide. She didn't notice Lucy, but dashed over to the great fireplace and pulled a heavy and decorative sword mount off the mantel.
After a millisecond or so of thought, Lucy decided against asking where she had landed and when, opting to take this opportunity to make her exit. Still half-crouching, she backed up into the closet again, the monkey squirming and nipping at her all the while.
Meantime, the strange woman, failing at pulling the sword out, ran for the closet as well.
They collided in front of it. The woman screamed. At such close range, Lucy noted immediately how beautiful she was. Honey brown hair, molasses-colored eyes, shining white teeth and delicate features. She looked like someone out of a picture book.
"Who the deuce are you?" the woman shrieked. She had a less pleasant voice than her face would suggest, Lucy decided. "Never mind," the woman continued. "Get in here, quick!" She shoved Lucy roughly into the closet. Which was where she wanted to be anyway, so no harm done. Still holding the monkey, Lucy somersaulted backwards, hoping like anything that she wouldn't feel smooth wooden boards at her back.
She did.
Author's notes: If you're a fan of Elizabeth Swann, perhaps best to drop the story here. Because with Lucy at my side, we will reveal dear Lizzy's true character and sabotage her romance. Sound good?
Well actually I'm not sure. That would break poor Will's heart, wouldn't it? We'll just have to think about it. Keep reading!