Wow – I thought I'd been lost in Dimension X for years, but it turns out it was only three months! Sorry for the über-slow update. Blame the Kraang, dropping interdimensional portals willy-nilly for good folks to stumble into. Please read this next chapter while I pick Kraangthratrogon dander off my jeggings…

Chapter 8 – Obfuscation

"Wait, you still think you have a shot with her?"
Raphael, "Operation: Break Out"

.

It took only a couple of soft raps before Leo's bedroom door slid open enough for Raph to ghost inside.

The blue-banded leader was unsurprised by Raphael's disobedience; or his pleasure at Donatello's castigation. Despite Master Splinter's order that each of his teen sons was banished to his respective room that night, Leonardo expected Raph's visit. The hotheaded Ninja Turtle was fuelled by rebellion and schadenfreude as much as by oxygen and pizza.

Leo quietly closed his door as Raphael sank into the beanbag chair across from the bed. Sitting cross-legged on the mattress, Leo faced his brother. He knew that Raph would quickly make his point.

Whispering in way that sounded to Leo like shouting, Raph gloated: "Did you see the LOOK on Don's face?! Priceless! Can he please pull this kinda crap every day!? It feels like Christmas morning, with a double helping of Foot Creeps to beat on! Thank you, Santa!"

Leo patiently registered his brother's shit-eating grin. Donnie rarely misbehaved. He even considered acting-out beneath him. Raph was going to milk his scientist-brother's rare shaming for all it was worth.

Raph's gleeful shout-whispering continued: "What do you think he was doing?! Boosting more government-grade junk? Locked in the old Public Records Library again? Attending a Nerds Anonymous meeting? ..."

Without really thinking about it, Leo interjected with, "…Following April around?"

For some reason, that shut them both up.

"Well, Chief, if you want a right answer, ya gotta ask the right person."

Tight-lipped, the brothers decisively nodded at each other. Silently, Leo's door slid open again. Both ninja ghosted out into the Lair's corridors and towards Donatello's bedroom.

Worst. Night. Ever.

Donnie would have been post mortem'ing his conversation with Sensei were it not for his dead T-phone, its shattered case a perfect artefact of where his bo had punctured the plastic and glass.

Now how would April reach him? How would Don reach her? After not hearing from her all evening, he assumed she must have texted him in the past hour or so; but because of his tantrum in the tunnel, he couldn't know or reply.

Smart Don. Real smart. Mister Smoothie.

Confined to his bedroom, he couldn't use his resources in the lab to fix the sorry cell. Making do, Donnie rummaged through a smaller toolkit for screwdrivers and pliers so that he could at least assess the damage done, and maybe MacGyver a repair.

Just as he was unscrewing the mangled cover, he heard a light tapping at his door.

"Nevermore", Donnie croaked mirthlessly. Dammit, he knew what was coming. His heart tripped and his palms moistened.

His door swung open on silent hinges. Raph's Cheshire Cat grin seemed to float ahead of him into Donatello's room, followed by Leonardo, who was wearing a slightly apologetic expression.

Only when the door had closed did anyone speak.

"Well?"

"Well, what?"

"Whaddya think, Nerdinator?"

"I think getting into trouble with Splinter is over-rated."

"Yeah, well, Egghead, you would fail to appreciate the finer things in life. Why not clear your conscience by spilling where ya been all day? You owe Leo and me an explanation, since we were the ones sticking our necks out topside to find you. Not that I mind a fight with Foot Clan Hench-things, but before we left I almost had Leo's Robo-X high-score beat."

"Oh, no you just didn't, Raph", mumbled Leo.

Don saw a tiny escape hatch: "Look, I'll tell you where I was, but first, what's this about The Foot?"

Leo stood a little taller:

"While Raph and I were out looking for you in one of Biffy Stockgirl's old laboratories, we ran into Fishface and Dogp- erm, Rahzar, taking a bunch of stuff – we're not sure what – back to The Shredder."

Raph interjected. "Hong Kong Phooey was bragging about A Big Plan and Fishfart told him to shut it. Suspicious, right?"

Taking back the mike, Leo finished the story. "So Raph and I think The Foot are learning some evil new dance steps."

Raph made a face. "Don't, Leo. Just don't."

Pressing a fingertip to his chin, Donatello mused on the new intel. "It definitely sounds suspect. Boxer Stickman had twenty times more dangerous equipment, including Kraang Tech, in his possession than I've yet to study. Even The Foot's sophomoric knowledge of chemistry almost landed us all in the Soup when they tried to dump acid down the sewers. We've gotta follow this up. Does Splinter know?"

"No", replied Leo, "but he's asked for a briefing later tonight. I'll put him in the loop. If our home's at stake again, then at the very least he should be made aware of possible risks."

Now being in close quarters with Donatello, Raph's nose picked up a scent that was oddly, and disconcertingly, familiar. He made another face and snarked, "If we go back to Bilbo Sockhop's lab, maybe Don should stay behind. If he gets any mutagen on 'im, he might sprout red hair or worse. Maybe we should call the mutation "Dope-ril".

A propos of nothing, Michelangelo popped his head into Donnie's room:

"Raph, that's a totally terrible name." Mikey blinked his baby blues in hard thought. "'Apriltello' is much, much better".

Before Raphael could thump it, Mikey's orange-banded head disappeared back through Don's door. The youngest Turtle ghosted away in his own direction for the night.

"Sooooooo", Leo steepled his fingers together, subconsciously mimicking Don's own nervous gesture. "Where did you say you were today, Donnie?"

"….and so that's how I tripped and fell on top of April on my way back from escaping the Top Secret Government Underground Public Records Junkyard where I was accidentally locked in for eight hours with no cell reception. Then I had to help her put a bunch of her spilled stuff back into her knapsack. That's totally what you must be smelling."

As Raph opened his mouth to call "bullshit!" a fearful yowling pierced the Lair. All three brothers stopped cold, staring at each other. They heard what sounded like Michelangelo whining, followed by Master Splinter's deep inflections. Then the Lair fell silent again.

"Mikey must be getting served by Splinter. Why'd he even sneak out of his room anyway, if it wasn't to come in here with us?" Raphael critiqued.

"Maybe he doesn't find your company as sweet as I do, Raph", Donnie deadpanned.

Raph squinted an eye at his defensive brother, and spoke his interrupted thought.

"I've seen how you and April have been looking at each other lately. Not just you mooning over her – her mooning over you, too. I'd press you for more info but I'm pretty sure you'd tell me stuff I can't un-hear."

Raph was really getting into it now.

"I don't even know how to process what I think's goin' on. But bro-to-bro, I can tell you that, for a scientist, your reasoning can be pretty clouded when you want it to be. April's cool. She's like a sister to us. A sister. You think you've got what it takes to make it last beyond a fling? An experimental phase? You better not blow it for the rest of us. April means somethin' special to you, sure, but she's part of our family. You don't get to push her away from the rest of us, Shell-case, when you drop the ball or she drops you."

Stupified by what for Raphael was an emotional tsunami, Leo blurted, "Who are you and what did you do with Raphael?"

"Shaddup, Fearless", came Raphael's retort.

"Ah, me and my big mouth. There he is, back again", Leo concluded.

"When did you start taking over from Mikey as the Soul Guru, Raph?", Don inserted. "If I look under your mattress, next to all the porn am I going to find some crystals, a Daily Blessings journal and a dog-eared copy of The Secret? You know, I thought you'd turned a corner as far as April and me were concerned. I thought you had my back."

"Yeah, well, that was 'cos I thought there wasn't a hope in Shell it was gonna happen!"

Don and Raph stared each other down as the deeper meaning of Raphael's words sunk in.

"So lemme get this straight. You humoured me when you thought I was hopeless. And now when it seems that I'm not, you want me to fail?"

Raph chewed on Don's words for a moment.

"Yup", he asserted.

"Dick", Don flipped back without missing a beat.

"Arseh-"

"OHWHOAWHOAWHOA!" Leo interjected in Raph's Shout-Whisper tone. The he hissed, "Stop it, both of you. None of this helps anyone or improves anything.

Don, you were a jerk to leave everyone in the dark All Day. But if what I also smell is true then: EWE and YAY YOU in equal measures. Also, like Splinter says, the Universe has ways of speaking to us if we only listen –

"Now who's got a copy of The Secret under his mattress?", muttered Raph.

Leo made a mental note to use up all the hot water next time Raph wanted a shower, and continued,

– My point is that we only know that the Foot is up to something because we were out looking for Donnie. This is an opportunity to stop what might be a very dangerous situation before it even gains momentum. We need to do more recon. We need to talk with Splinter."

Raph ground his teeth. "You talk with Splinter. I'm gonna go find some of the reading material under my mattress and call it a night."

"Dear Daily Blessings Journal", Donnie started with a falsetto voice meant to mimic Raph, "I shared my feelings today and I used a multisyllabic word. Wow, it all just feels so new, so great! I'm so thankful for words. Oh, and for Wet Wipes. And for YOU, Daily Blessings Journal!"

Leo chimed in with, "Raph, I think one of your crystals is stuck up your butt. I think your butt chakra's out of alignment".

"You know Leo, you're right. I should do something about that." Smoothly, Raph turned to leave the room and as he did so he let rip the biggest, loudest fart he could muster. Then, silently, Raphael shut the door being him, smirking at the thought of the noxious vapours permeating Donnie's bedroom and his brothers' nasal cavities. Finally, he felt at peace with the Universe.

Raphael's powerful expulsion echoed through the Lair like a clarion call to action. As he vaulted the turnstile and exited the Lair, Mikey nodded his respect and admiration. Conversely, Master Splinter retreated to meditate behind the screens of his own bedroom, where his sensitive nose would be distracted by smoldering eucalyptus and myrrh.

Thanks to all for reading! - and reviewing?! I'll do my best to avoid Kraang portals from here on in, and update more often in the next coming weeks and months :)