Chapter 9 – Stratagems
"Never fight the armor, fight the man inside"
Splinter, I Think His Name is Baxter Stockman
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Once again the few sinews that stretched along Rahzar's skeletal muzzle creased in revulsion. As if the recoil of his tar lips wasn't clue enough, the hellhound rumbled his displeasure in sand-grit baritones that reverberated across The Shredder's throne room. Each time Fishface mentioned the name Leonardo, Karai's body involuntarily responded with arousal. The thick tang of the teen kunoichi's scent harangued Rahzar's acute sense of smell like a hot itchy sneeze unfulfilled. It was repugnant.
Worse than suffering acrid pubescent sex-plumes, Rahzar didn't wanna know that The Boss' Daughter had the hots for a reptile freak. Mutated beyond recognition of having been human, Rahzar still exempted himself from the growing number of hybrids spawned by Kraang sludge. The hound's denial was perhaps his last act of defiance at having been in the wrong place, at the wrong time. Twice.
Karai was still blathering on about catching the green scum that made Rahzar's life miserable. He'd tried time and again to bag those turtle buggers and prove his worth to Master Shredder. He didn't like taking directions from a child and he didn't like failing. And would Fishface stop mentioning Leonardo's name? It was like the slimy purple piscid was doing it on purpose: "Leonardo", and poof!, stinkin' girl-pheromones filled the air and plugged his mucous membranes.
Fishface glanced sidelong at his canid companion: he could positively giggle from the fun he was having, making Rahzar writhe so conspicuously. The Foot Clan's henchfish pressed on:
"Baht, Karraaiii", he deadpanned, "Capturing any of the Turtles, especially the strong and handsome blue one, Leonardo, has proven so difficult to daaate. What is it about this new plan that has you con-veenced of its success?"
Karai stiffened imperceptibly as she locked eyes with the robo-fish. Immediately, he lowered his gaze; not in deference, but to hide his amusement at the clichéd indignation of youth.
As light as a wisp of silk before it strangled, Karai queried "Xever, you're not questioning me, are you?"
"No, Mistress", Fishface cooed, "I only observe that I am too simple to construct a plan cunning enough to defeat the Turtles; especially their bold and strapping leader, Leonardo; and his objectionable sensei, Hamato Yoshi."
Karai cocked an eyebrow. Despite his obvious impertinence, she enjoyed toying with Fishface. Unlike the company of most Foot Clan staff, his conniving kept her from dying of boredom.
"Of course you are simple; and lowly, and slimy." Hands on cocked hips, she added, "You are also very loud when you walk – can't you do something about the hydraulics in those metal legs of yours? Anyway, your lack of vision and competence is why I ask the questions here. And the only thing that I care to know from you is: Did you place the bait?"
"Yes, Mistress", finessed Fishface, his subgingival venom glands a-tingle as he imagined paralyzing Karai with a swift snick of his tusk-like fangs. "The Turtles believe that the Foot Clan is hatching a new master-plan of chaos and destruction to the city of New York."
Karai narrowed her eyes in pleasure. "Indeed, we are", she smirked. "Then the target is locked. The trap is set! They will come out of hiding to save the day with their pitiable delusions of nobility and justice. And we will be waiting for the moment when they pop their heads out of their shells."
With his characteristic soft touch, Rahzar menaced, "Why not just kill Donatello flat-out, beat the shit out of him?"
Karai sighed and inspected a fingernail. At least this beat a lecture from Dad. Being thrown off balance by April O'Neil, a pathetic pretend-kunoichi and friend of the Turtles, still smarted hotly. At his convenience, The Shredder enjoyed reminding Karai of this rookie-like failure to capture amateur prey. He had also made it clear that he wanted Donatello dead. She had only days to make amends by re-establishing her cred before her Father's return from Foot Clan HQ in Tokyo.
"Because, Bradford (for using Rahzar's human name was an easy way to play his ravaged ego), it's overly difficult – and thus stupid (and here Karai hesitated to emphasize her point) – to directly strike at the Turtles. To destroy these ninja wannabes and their sad sack of a sensei, time and again, the Foot has relied on brute force. Typical men", Karai spat the words, "Desperate to prove their strength, even if it means bloodying their heads as they bang them against a wall. Women know much better the value of an indirect attack", Karai paused to reflect on toxic girlfriends of schooldays past, "Particularly as most men so rarely expect one."
Fishface took note. Deception and duplicity were the grammar of his battle language.
Rahzar was still rolling the name "Bradford" around in his brain. He'd give anything to be human again. The odds were so crushingly low that without being conscious of it, he pretended to prefer his mutated state
Karai continued, warming into her exposition from atop her Father's dais: "Donatello's death will be guaranteed with the poison. The antidote can't be synthesized and even if it could, Donatello would be the only one to do it and he will be incapable – delusion and paralysis are almost immediate. This plan almost worked with Raphael. We will learn from our mistakes and attempt again, this time with a toxin less – whimsical.
"Why don't we just kill 'em all?", Rahzar injected irritably.
"Well, we could", Karai returned, "but Shredder wants Hamato Yoshi to suffer for his many years of egregious offenses to the Foot Clan. He wants the Turtles' demise to be slow and agonizing. You know: typical Father stuff. Now unless you have something else burning a hole in your forebrain, let's get back to the plan.
We just need to bring the Turtles out of their Lair, even if only to the rooftops where they feel concealed, secure and in control. In this way, they will never be more exposed and vulnerable", Karai gloated. "We only need one good shot for this plan to work; perhaps a slight distraction to allow the blowing dart to find its mark. I can get the Turtles talking…"
"Ah, yes, Leonardo does like his heroic banter", chided Fishface. "One would theenk he prefers chit-chat to fighting. Perhaps, deep down, he knows that his skills are no match for our Mistress Karai's. Even so, Leonardo's taught and chiseled physique is enviable – if I was to care about such theengs."
Karai subtly arched an eyebrow. What was up with Xever lately? Everything was "Leonardo this, and Leonardo that. What was that weird thing he'd said the other day? Oh, yeah: "The blue goes so well with his skin tone". Good grief. She thought the former street-urchin-come-sea-urchin despised the blue Turtle. But all he seemed to say was how great Leo was, how powerful, how clever, how attractive...
Suddenly, fighting to keep the shock from her face, Karai twigged: Fishface was crushing on Leonardo! HA! She'd never have thought it possible. Maybe the mutagen altered his gender preferences as well as his form? Well, this was rich. And, sort of sweet, in a totally perverted way. At least she wouldn't have to worry about her competition. She was pretty sure that robotic-fish-men weren't Leo's thing. Although if they were, then Fishface would be quite a "catch".
Larf, she congratulated herself on the terrible pun.
She'd have fun making the most of her secret knowledge of Fishface's eccentric vulnerability. Regardless, she couldn't fault him for his taste in men.
Rahzar was loathe to release more teen sex spores into the breeze but he had to ask: "If Leonardo's so fantastic, why don't we take him out instead of the lilac geek with the cane? Won't the team fall apart without its fancy blue leader?"
Fishface rolled his eyes at Rahzar's opacity, but Karai happily recited the plan's rationale like she was rehearsing a eulogy:
"Each of the Turtles plays his unique role, it's true. Leonardo is the leader – but replaceable. Raphael is the brute force – nothing special there. Michelangelo is, well – no one really knows; Splinter is the backbone of the family but suffers a parent's liability – loving a child. But Donatello: he is the reason this sick little family logistically survives and thrives, cracks Foot and Kraang technologies, and adapts to everything we have thrown at him (yes, except maybe very heavy objects, Rahzar).
In truth, the sequence of familial destruction might begin with Splinter, but he is too difficult to reach. Instead, my Father's brilliantly demonic rationale is that once Donatello is ended, Splinter will crumble, and the rest of the brothers will follow suit.
"Like shootin' fish in a barrel", snarled Rahzar, looking sidelong at Xever who remained pokerfaced.
"Indeed", confirmed Karai mischievously, catching the insult implied to Fishface. "Now we have to talk about the next steps of executing the plan. We have a few more breadcrumbs to scatter and little time to waste…"
A warm breeze swept through April O'Neil's bedroom, carrying sensual scents of other kinds: Asian spices, beer hops, jasmine blossoms; paired with hot, pungent off-gassing tarmac and sour garbage. In other words, it smelled like a typical NYC hot summer night.
After Michelangelo's frenetic visit, April had finally fallen asleep. Her slumber was deep, peaceful and rejuvenating. In her dreams, she was with Donatello. She dreamed in shapes, colours and sounds; no clear pictures, just feelings and impressions... keening; flower; oyster; steel; suede; honey; fumble; shatter; trust; suckle; frisson; growl; cleft; glorious, triumphant, devastating. Only one clear moment stood out:
Besotted, she straddles Donnie. He releases his hands from her breasts to interlock his fingers with hers. His elbows rest on the ground so that April is suspended above him and they are linked at lips, palms and hips. Don playfully whispers in April's ear, "Not bad, for a human."
The sensation was wonderful. The dream was perfect. Like a message from the universe that everything was going to be just fine.
A/N – The attempt on Raphael's life is a reference to IDW's TMNT New Animated Adventures (issue #4) where The Shredder tasks Dogpound and Foot soldiers with using kyosuu fruit poison against the Turtles. Thank you for reading and reviewing/messaging your support! Truly, your vibes fuel me, you wonderful Readers, You :)