Chapter Two: Wedge Antilles

After an hour or so of riding, Luke passed what seemed to be a billboard advertising something called "Nute Gunray's French Fired Frog Legs".
"What the...?" Luke asked himself. The very idea of that stuff always made Luke's stomach turn. He'd tried a frog leg as a kid, and he spent the rest of the night in the bathroom.
Beside the billboard, a Neimoidian man with a black and blue robe was talking to a construction crew, usually shouting "Don't step on the asphalt!"
Luke had to admit, this Nute Gunray guy worked quickly as the man smiled and waved at Luke who waved back.
"Hey, you on the bike, watch out!" The Neimoidian shouted when Luke looked up and saw a steam roller coming right at him!
Thinking quickly, Luke used the Force to jettison himself up just before the steam-roller turned his bike into a pancake. Scott sighed as he sat on the sidewalk.
"Phew." Luke sighed. "That's pretty dangerous building a road in the middle of the street without any warning cones or marking the thing off. If it wasn't for the Force, I'd be gone with the Schwinn."

That night, Luke arrived at a place called the El Sleezo Café.
"Yeash." Luke groaned. "I wonder what kind of food they serve. Doesn't sound very appetizing, but... a guy's gotta eat."
Just then, a man was flung out of the restaurant.
"Rough place, huh?" Luke asked.
"That is the toughest, meanest, filthiest pest hole on the face of the earth!" The man said.
"Well why not complain to the owner?" Luke asked.
"I am the owner." The man replied.
"Oh..." Luke said with some shock. "Uh... Sorry."
Luke went in and found that the place was made up mostly of tough guys, sailors, bikers, and such, and their girlfriends. Luke walked up to the bar as a brunette woman turned to him.
"Hey, sailor." The woman said. "Buy me a drink?"
"Uh..." Luke said as he reddened badly. "I'm not a sailor."
"Ah, cut the small talk and buy me a drink." The woman said offhandedly.
"But I don't even know you." Luke pointed out when a sailor came up.
"Hey, you making out with my girl?" The man asked.
"No sir." Luke insisted.
"He did to." The woman said. "He touched me."
"Oh, now that is a completed myth!" Luke insisted.
"A what?" The man asked.
"A myth!" Luke repeated. "Myth!"
"Yes?" A blond woman in a black shoulder-less dress and red boa asked as she walked up.
"What the hey?" Luke asked.
"That happens a lot." The man said.
Just then, a man's voice shouted out, "Show time! Show time at the El Sleezo!"
Scott took a look at the stage.
"And now, filling in for the vacationing El Sleezo dancing girls, the funny, fabulous, Wedge Antilles!"
Just then, the curtains opened to reveal an eighteen-year-old boy with brown hair to only one man clapping his hands together... To kill a fly.
"Thank you, ladies and germs!" The boy, Wedge called out. "You're a great crowd. Here I am, Wedge Antilles, here to tell you jokes both old and timeless!"
Everyone already began booing the poor kid.
"Well, let's start things up with a bang." Wedge said as someone shot at him and missed. "Thanks for that, sir."
"This guy's lost." Luke groaned.
"Maybe he should try Harry Fisher." A waiter said.
"Good grief." Luke groaned. "What a weak running gag."
"Uh..." Wedge continued, finally feeling the stress apparently. "There was this sailor who was so fat-"
"How fat was he?!" A very large sailor asked as he smashed a bottle against the table, and it shattered.
"He was so fat that everyone liked him, and there was nothing funny about him at all, the end." Wedge said timidly.
After that, everyone began throwing food at Wedge.
"Oh no!" Wedge groaned. "I just cleaned up this room! I'm a professional! I've had three performances."
"Do you know any dance routines?" Luke asked as he walked to the stage.
"Not really." Wedge said. "Do you?"
"Play something snappy, sir." Luke said to the piano man.
"Got it!" The man said as he played the piano.
"Now dance!" Luke said quickly as the two danced.

At the window, Rune Haako saw the guy from earlier and showed him to his boss, Nute Gunray. Gunray looked at Luke's dancing and smirked.
Haako knew that Gunray was happy with who he had found.

"Too bad the dancing girls are on vacation." Luke sighed. "The crowd's getting ugly."
"You think this crowd is ugly?" Wedge asked. "You should see the dancing girls."
After the dance was finished, everyone on stage rushed at Luke and Wedge. They tossed Wedge over the bar, and tossed Luke up as he was flung into wall. He didn't want to use the Force against these guys as it wouldn't be fair, but he was definitely getting groggy from the toss.
Just then, Wedge came up in a bartender's uniform and a beard.
"Okay everybody drinks on the house!" Wedge called out as all the men rushed out excitedly.

On the roof of the El Sleezo, the men looked around confused. There were no drinks on the house.

Back at the bar, Wedge sighed and took off the fake beard.
"Works every time." Wedge said with a smile.
"Nice job." Luke said in amazement. "Well listen, my name is Luke Skywalker, and I'm on my way to Hollywood."
Luke saw a lot of potential in Wedge and figured he just needed an outlet.
"Hollywood?!" Wedge asked excitedly. "Big time showbiz?! That's always been my dream!"
"Well they're looking for guys, so I figured, why not go together?" Luke asked.
"My car's right outside!" Wedge said with a smile.
They walked outside and got into an old crème Studebaker.
"Wow." Luke said. "A Studebaker. Where'd you get it?"
"My uncle left it to me." Wedge said casually.
"Oh." Scott said. "Is he dead?"
"No." Wedge said plainly. "He's in Florida."
Wedge drove off, followed by a mysterious black car that carried Nute Gunray.

Uh-oh. Now we get to the point of interest.