Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Touhou characters, settings or any other original material created by ZUN or any other affiliates. All Touhou copyrights belong to their respective owners.

Ch. 10: Reverse food chain

Ibuki Suika and Hoshiguma Yuugi were climbing up the long, winding steps carved into the mountain side. Next to them, beyond the sheer cliff face, was visible a grand freshwater lake cratered straight into the mountain. Story was that the shrine and the lake had initially come from the outside world, beyond the borders of Gensokyo. How they managed to transport an entire shrine, let alone an entire lake, was beyond Suika and Yuugi. It certainly was impressive, and added to the mystical flair of the resident goddesses and miko.

When they had reached the top, a long, paved courtyard with generous, mountain foliage on either side, the heavy scent of wise pine in the air greeted them. At the end of the weather-aged paving stood a Japanese-styled shrine not unlike the Hakurei Shrine, except that it appeared a little less worn down. Whether it was because the occupants had slightly more generous maintenance budgets was hard to tell.

But one thing was for sure: the Moriya shrine was not short on faith. The whole mountain it stood on worshipped it, or at least acknowledged its existence. In a way, it was fitting. For within resided some of the most ancient occupants of Gensokyo, and indeed throughout the land. On a boulder to the side now was seated one of them. A delicate, petite figure, with flowing shoulder length blonde hair, wearing a baggy purple pinafore and white blouse that billowed like the wind. On top of her head sat a strange hat, one that had eyes that seemed to gaze unblinkingly at your soul. But most noticeable of all was her fair, childlike complexion that defied the tests of time, motherhood and war. An ancient, dignified goddess…

"Hey, loli!" Suika greeted the seated figure. Introducing your standard, lolified deity, Moriya Suwako.

"Look who's talking…" Suwako answered cheerfully.

"Haha… always good to know that there are people older than me that don't look older than me!" Suika replied back just as cheerfully. Suwako was always one of the more jolly goddesses, having a sunshine bright cheerfulness that belayed a fearsome arsenal of potent curses, some strictly irreversible… A paedophile's worse nightmare.

Suwako and Suika shared a laugh, while Yuugi was left standing at the side, rather amused at this exchange. Oh well… everyone needs a clique…

"If you guys are done, we do have an agenda on our hands…" Yuugi smiled, shaking her head.

"Hi Yuugi! I don't see you that often," Suwako greeted. "So, what brings you Oni here?"

"We're here to ask Sanae for a favour," Yuugi replied.

"My gourd of sake is ah… sort of broken, and we need a miracle to help fix it," Suika explained.

"You've come to ask our dear little miko a favour?" asked another deep but feminine voice, not unlike Yuugi's. The two Oni turned to see Yasaka Kanako coming up the shrine steps.

Yasaka Kanako was another rather good looking goddess. Few people could match Yuugi's physique, but Kanako was one of those that could, and maybe even possibly exceed hers. She had short, blue dark hair, and red blouse over a generous chest paired with a black skirt, and had a large Shimenawa, or braided rope, tied around her waist to form a large circle behind her back. Now the odd group was evened out by the presence of two lolis and two handsome women.

"Oh! Kanako-chan!" Suwako greeted happily. "How was it? Did the meeting with the Tengu go well?"

"Oh... it's the usual. Today they offered me their continued allegiance and faith in exchange for good, favourable weather," Kanako looked to the clouds, and instantly a sharp, chilling wind whipped up with a graceful fury. "However, I did warn them that the weather is getting rather erratic. A lot of variables are out of my hands... So," she turned to Yuugi and Suika, "You two come here to ask the shrine of a favour, a miracle. What have you got in return for us?"

"We bring faith," Suika offered though her teeth.

"And umeshu," Yuugi added. Suika raised an eyebrow and looked over at Yuugi.

"No we don't!"

"Yes we do!"

"Umeshu?" Suwako looked quizzically at them. "You're offering us 'faith' and umeshu in exchange for a miracle?" Suwako highly doubted the Oni seriously meant the 'faith' part.

"And exactly what sort of miracle will Sanae be performing in exchange for faith and umeshu?" Kanako had a slight incredulous look on her face.

"We want to conquer the world-"

"Shut up Yuugi! Ehehehe..." Suika rubbed the back of her head, "We just want Sanae to help me fix my gourd."

"Fix your gourd?" Kanako's incredulous look increased a level. "What in the name of- Okay... Firstly," Kanako forcefully calmed herself down. The standing of gods had slipped remarkably since her heyday... "Wh-What is wrong with your gourd?"

"Nothing's wrong. It's Suika that's wrong-"

"Shut up Yuugi! Ah... um," Suika searched for the right words to make it sound like a very serious and pertinent issue. "It ah... spews unending umeshu."

"... Thank you, have a nice day!" Kanako beamed, a nerve twitching in her temple, and began showing the Oni the way out of the Shrine grounds as courteously as she could.

"Wait!" Suwako halted Kanako's shoving of the Oni. "You say your gourd has unlimited umeshu?" she asked Suika, amused curiosity peaking.

"Yah..." Suika answered.

"Really? That sounds interesting Kanako-chan!" Suwako turned to Kanako.

"N-No we will not help them, Suwako-"

"Suika, what did your gourd use to do before?" Suwako ignored Kanako and asked Suika.

"Uh... it used to be sake, not umeshu," Suika replied.

Suwako turned again to Kanako. "It sounds really, really interesting! Let's just help them, please?"

"N-No Suwako, this is the reason why our standings as gods have slipped so far. We're seen as handymen! Or charity! Even the tengu negotiate with us on equal terms...!"

"Awww... but fixing a magical gourd would be good experience for Sanae-chan..."

"H-How so, Suwako?"

"Hmmm... it'll let Sanae learn how to fix gourds!" Suwako beamed.

"..." Kanako looked at Suwako with the 'Seriously?' look. Suwako beamed back.

"No."

"Yes!"

"No."

"Yes!"

"No! I'm the resident goddess of this shrine now! I will not simply do this for the sake of curiosity! There needs to be returns."

"Au..." Sanae turned to Suika and Yuugi. "My hubby's being all materialistic again."

Suika and Yuugi's cheeks immediately puffed up, almost as if a laugh had just ballooned behind their lips, and was barely being contained. Kanako's face was matching the red of her shirt.

"S-Suwako-"

"Yes, hubby?"

"No- Ah! Stop calling me that!" Kanako straightened her arms down, greatly annoyed. "You never call me that except when you want to put me in a spot!"

"Even after two millennia hubby still rejects me ..."

"I. AM. NOT. YOUR. HUB-"

"That's it... I'm not sleeping with you tonight, you take the couch..."

"WE DON'T EVEN HAVE A- OH GOD DAMMIT!" Kanako roared. Just as well. It masked her hearing from the just barely softer, maniacal laughter of Suika and Yuugi.

"Sanae-chan will help you..." Suwako smiled, taking now impotently furious silence of Kanako as consent. "But in exchange, I want real returns, as Kanako-chan said. Please make a healthy donation to the faith of Moriya!"

"Hmmm... fair enough," Suika checked her purse. She had a surprising amount of money in it. Considering she never really spent it on real food... it was drink, drink, drink, and it used to be unlimited and free...

"Okay then! I suppose getting Sanae-chan to practice her art of miracle granting will be useful to her anyway... Shall we go inside and wait for her then?" Suwako gestured to the interior of the house, and the four made their way in.

On the way, Yuugi turned to Kanako, still smirking, and said, "Your wife sure has a hold on you, doesn't she?"

Kanako scowled and grumbled, "Worst part is we're not even married..."