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Ch. 13: Proxies are never a good idea

"T'ch, Yuugi what are you doing!" Suika hurriedly pulled Yuugi to one side. Good, the mikos Reimu and Sanae were engaged in light hearted chat. It meant that Sanae could progress with her advances, and that the two would be distracted. Now's the time to address Yuugi's... tendencies...

"Yuugi what are you doing!" Suika hissed again.

"What?" Yuugi asked, perplexed. "I'm being myself."

"Exactly!" Suika face-palmed. "You're flirting! With Sanae!"

"No I'm not!"

"You know why she's here! She's here for Reimu!"

"I know that! And I'm not flirting I swear!"

"You're complimenting her all the time!"

"I'm being nice!"

"That's being, oh damn it!" Suika held her head with its heavy set of horns in slight frustration. "You're a girl and you don't know these things? When a mature woman like you says such things to a maiden like Sanae, it rocks her heart. They. Take. It. To. Heart." Suika emphasized her last line.

"Oh..." Yuugi came to the realization Suika had been guiding her to. "Oh no... Wh-What should we do?"

"I don't know?" Suika glanced over to Sanae. Sanae had stopped talking with Reimu, and the two were now sitting next to each other in awkward silence. Looks like they ran out of general topics to chat about, and judging by the looks of things, there were not a lot of sparks between them...

"Sigh... They're really not progressing are they?" Yuugi observed as well. "Maybe... Sanae just needs a raised profile?"

"You mean we should bring her to Reimu's attention? Like a little advertising?" Suika came to the same conclusion. "Hmmm... Good call."

"Then let's do it!"

"Sure thing, Yuugi- Wait, why are we helping anyway?"

"What else? For the laughs, of course! Imagine, Reimu in a relationship and you knowing every step of the development."

"... I like your thinking, Yuugi! Let's do it!"

"So um, how's it been?" Sanae asked Reimu gingerly. How's it been. The one question that signals the end of a comfortable conversation. Not bad for an opener but when you use it after five minutes of solid talk, you know you've exhausted all options. It means that Sanae does not know how Reimu's feeling. How Reimu's doing. How Reimu's anything. Sanae does not know Reimu.

And Reimu does not know me too... Thought Sanae. We're not really progressing are we?

"Oh, the usual," came Reimu's nonchalant reply. Moments ago Reimu had seemingly lost interest in their conversation. After chatting almost warmly with each other for a few measly minutes, now Reimu had taken to staring at the tea in her tea cup. We really are not progressing, Sanae mentally cringed.

"Um, tell me more about yourself then," Sanae prodded further. Reimu returned with a simple raised eyebrow. "I mean," Sanae continued, "I haven't been here for a very long time, so I don't know a lot of things about Gensokyo."

"There's nothing about me to need to know," Reimu took to staring at the tea again. Sanae sighed. Was Reimu being shy? No... her face was as stoic a poker face as ever. Then... is she not... interested... in me?

"Hey!" the rowdy Onis returned with a rowdy greeting. "What's up?"

"Why the long face?" Suika asked Reimu.

"H-Huh?" Reimu looked up. I had a long face? "N-No nothing, just not really enjoying so much company in one go. The shrine grounds are usually much quieter, usually..."

"Does... Reimu-san not like me- I mean, us being here?" Sanae asked anxiously.

"Huh? No no no! It's not like that!" Reimu's face livened up as she frantically waved her hands in denial. "It's just I'm not used to it is all," Reimu explained, then took to looking at her tea with an I'm-not-enjoying-your-company-much expression. Either Reimu seriously meant it, or she was horrible with expressing herself...

"Reimu," Suika tsked, "You know you're rather horrible at expressing yourself, right? Come on, relax a little," Suika offered Reimu her dreaded sake gourd. If she could just get her to drink three pints of it...

"No thanks," Reimu flatly refused. That's it, option "intoxicate Reimu to make her more open to Sanae against her will" blocked, Suika and Yuugi noted.

Yuugi looked over to Sanae just as Sanae started to get up from the table. She had a distinct look of disappointment on her face, a look Yuugi absolutely, strongly believed should not appear on the beautiful face of a maiden. The chivalrous and gentlemanly heart within her ribs ached to do something for this poor girl.

"M-Maybe I should go-"

"Wait Sanae," Yuugi stood up and held her back with a firm but gentle grip on her shoulder. "M-Maybe you should just stay a little while longer," she offered with a smile-

"Hey!" Suika tried her best to squeak inaudibly as a warning, earning the quizzical looks of Reimu and Sanae.

"I-I-I mean, all of us here would like you to stay!" Yuugi hurriedly corrected herself. "It would be such a shame if you went so early now!" she said with a much more friendlier smile. Man... At this rate, I will prove Suika right about me being a flirt... but it's not my fault! The maiden was frowning...

"Um, if you insist, Yuugi-san..." Sanae said shyly and sat back down. "I ah... I'm glad you want me to stay."

The words were barely out of her mouth before everyone instantaneously wore a different look of astonishment. Below is a rough translation of what each look meant.

Suika: Damn it Yuugi!

Yuugi: Damn it!

Reimu: Did... Did Sanae just...?

Sanae: No no no! I'm getting this all wrong! I'm here for Reimu, for Reimu!

"Right, Reimu?" Sanae accidently let her mental words continue over to her vocal ones.

"Huh?" Reimu snapped out of her look of astonishment. "Oh... Ah... Sanae!" Reimu turned around with a rather forced smile. "Um... Er... You like Yuugi don't you?" she half-unwittingly blurted out.

Four fresh faces of different kinds of astonishment replaced the earlier expressions.

"NO!" Sanae lied.

"Y-yes you do," Reimu insisted.

"No I don't!"

"Yes you do!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"I can't!"

"Yes you can!"

While this was going on, the Onis were pulling out their hair. How did things come to such a stage so quickly, and within one chapter too? Suika looked angrily at Yuugi, who was looking angrily at herself. Since she had no reflection to frown at, Yuugi settled with simply scowling at her cleavage from under her shirt.

"The plan, the plan!" Suika hissed to Yuugi.

"R-Right, raise Sanae's profile in front of Reimu, got it!" Yuugi chanted determinately. Alright, no more screw ups!

… Wait... does that line sound familiar to anyone?

"Um, Reimu!" Yuugi cleared her throat.

"Yes, future husband of Sanae?" Reimu taunted, her usual snide side recovering and starting to show through.

"Please cut that out!" Sanae pleaded.

"I'm not her future husband," Yuugi said in response to Reimu, "So could you please stop with that mean teasing? Especially since Sanae doesn't deserve it, her being such a pretty and nice girl," Yuugi did her best to highlight Sanae's good points.

… Hang on… Suika scratched her head. Wait a minute... Yuugi doing the profile raising sounds kind of wrong...

"So you like her too, huh you big flirt!" Reimu's goading continued.

"Well, if I didn't know you, you would sound like you're jealous, Reimu!"

"N-No way, Yuugi!"

"Why not? You know she's a nice girl yourself!"

"I-I know she's a nice girl, but it's you who she likes!"

"A-Actually, Reimu-san-"

"You like Yuugi don't you, Sanae?"

"I ah... Well..."

"Gah! Stop being mean to the little lady, Reimu! And just admit she's a nice girl! I mean, she's diligent and gentle natured and kind," Yuugi did her best to advertise Sanae, all the while raising Sanae's heart rate.

"I admitted she's a nice girl," Reimu said. "But what does this have to do with anything?"

"Well…" Yuugi took in a deep breath, readying herself to say a piece of unbeatable logic, sure to convince Reimu to see Sanae in a different light, just as a sudden realization of exactly what was wrong hit Suika. Suika whipped around, hand outstretched, as if to try to physically capture any other word that exits Yuugi's lips to exercise some form, any form of damage control. But alas…

"She's a nice girl, so you've got to fight for her! Otherwise she'll really be gone by the time you want her!" Yuugi crossed her arms and declared loudly in her best warrior's tone, designed for those epic fights-to-the-death.

… If we included the latest four different looks of astonishment, we would have a grand total of twelve different permutations all under one chapter. Not bad…

"Are you... Are you issuing a challenge to me for Sanae?" Reimu began slowly. "So... you really intend to respond to her seriously?"

Suika literally just smashed her head on the ground. Yuugi... Yuugi you...! That totally sounded like you were wooing her, oh dear heavens...!

Yuuig's logic finally caught up with her sugar-coated tongue. "Ah... Oh no... NO! It's not like that-"

Slam!

All three occupants at the table, two Onis and one red-white miko turned to see Sanae running out of the house, her hands clutched to her heart, face stricken with a severe blush.

Another maiden's heart had just been felled.