She had fallen asleep crying, begging for him and there he was, in her vicinity once more. Watching him from afar, she smiles. She's standing on the sidewalk, squinting her eyes as she recognises the back of his head through the window of the coffee shop, their coffee shop. She grins at the way he runs his hand through his hair, a movement he unconsciously does when he is feeling stressed out. Her heart beat quickens as she starts walking towards the door.

She wants to run, to go jump up in his arms. She wants to let her hands run through his hair, her fingers caressing the outline of his jaw as his blue eyes meet her hers. Most of all, she wants the proximity of his body on hers, the warmth of his chest, the smell of his cologne overpowering her as their tongues familiarly dance, but she can't. Kate doesn't seem to have any control over her movements, she feels like a spectator in her own body. Her movements automatic, she pulls on the door and it dings, making her entrance known.

When he turns around towards the direction of the noise, a younger version of the man she was marrying stands before her. The way he looks right through her, forcing a polite smile makes her heart sink. He doesn't know her. Their shoulders brush as he hurries out of the shop, 2 travel mugs in his hands. Breathing heavily, she takes a step forward, closing the distance between her and the barista, staring at her feet.

The step makes Kate fumble over a door that crashes open to reveal a small crammed bathroom. She can hear music loudly thumping in the background. Tumbling behind with her are 3 other people, one of them manages to catch her by the waist before she hits the linoleum floor. They're laughing and all four of them are talking loudly to bury the loud music. There movements are sluggish and their conversations lack sense. The tall blond lets go of waist after gently kissing her temple and the small brunette giggles as she locks the wooden door behind them, leaning over it and biting her lower lip.

These people feel vaguely familiar, but she couldn't tell who any of them are. The giggling girl looks at them with a mischievous smile and takes out something buried deep in the pockets of her skin tight jeans. Kate's had some rebel days, but she had always managed to stay away from drugs. She's taken aback by the cocaine in the girl's hand. Why would she be hanging out with these people? Kate was always down to kick down a few with the guys, but this? The brunette spreads the powder out on the counter. The second guy gets behind her and his head over her shoulder, his hands around her, he pulls out his credit card and divides the powder into four shallow bands.

The white lines stand out over the dark counter top and Beckett watches the scene unfold before her eyes. She anticipates what comes next, but doesn't approve of it. There is no way out of this situation as she isn't the one controlling the ship that is her body. As the brunette pulls a dollar bill from her bra and rolls it, she snorts a line. Closing her eyes with delight and inhaling loudly, she passes her the bill, "Becks?"

She tends her arm to grab the dollar and the blond guy smiles at her and wiggles his eyebrows as he bits his lower lip. He grabs her ass and using his hand positioned on her behind, pushes her forward. Kate takes the roll from the girl's hand and approaches the counter with purpose. She bends her head over the counter bringing the bill to the entrance of her nostrils. She closes her eyes as she sucks in and feels the sting of the drugs traveling through her nasal cavities.

She shoots back her head and when she opens her eyes she's in a different environment. It's silent and dim. It's hot in the room. She sits up on the mattress and pulls the dulled out comforter from over her to reveal a man, bare chest, on her side. She can't believe she's just realising his presence, he snores like something out of this world.

She pulls her knees to her chins and observes the man. He has a blue elastic band tied around his bicep and the pattern of his arms indicates he's a regular user. Looking upon the foot of the mattress she spots the spoons, the lighters and the needles scattered about on the floor of the messy bedroom. She lets her tongue snap on her teeth and he pushes the man to his side.

Running her hand through her face, she slowly gets up and exits the bedroom.

Passing through the arc of the door, she takes a step forward and lands face to face with the one and only, Richard Castle. He's seated in front of her, piles of books on his sides.

Looking up to her with his gorgeous baby blue eyes, he asks politely, "Hi, thanks for coming. Who do I make this out to?"

She stutters a bit as she finds the words she's looking for, "Could you make it out to Johanna. You were my mom's favorite…"

She doesn't finish her thought as she suddenly feels queasy. With her hand over her stomach, she closes her eyes and takes a few steps back as bright spots blind her vision. He's quick to his feet, violently pushing away his chair. His hand is supporting the small of her back, the other cupping her elbow. She's breathing heavily, trying to control her urge to vomit. She lightly turns her head towards his face and smiles shyly. He's so close to her, she can feel his touch, his warmth. She'd stay like this forever.

Kindly, he asks, "You don't look so well miss. Want me to call anyone for you, your husband maybe?"

"No, thank you. I'm fine, Mr. Castle."

"My friends call me Castle," he answers with a charming wink.

She smiles but the spots get brighter and suddenly her knees buckle and she falls limply in his arms, out of consciousness.

Everything is dark. Her heart is pounding, as if it wants to get out of her chest. She can feel the bed under her body; she can feel the pressure on her biceps, it's hands, fingers. "Katie?"

She could feel the light shake of her body as her head wobbled helplessly. "Katie!" She could perceive the worry in her dad's voice but she couldn't get herself to open her eyes.

"Dammit, Kate just open your eyes!" he was now shaking her a bit harder. "Katie, you can't be fuckin' going this to me."

When he lets go, her body falling back limply on the mattress she can feel nothing. He's gone, leaving her with only blackness, total blackness. She hears the faint sound of footsteps approaching and she feels the shock as cold water splashes onto her face.

She woke up in a jolt, panting, realising she's still in the room surrounded by the concrete block walls. She knew she'd slept but she didn't feel replenished, she felt exhausted.

What the hell was that?

She wanted some answers. Hell, she needed some answers. She sat on her bed and waited, someone was bound to come check on her sooner or later. She was thinking about reaching out for a book as she waited, but advised against it. When the doctor peaked his head in the room, she smiled, a token that she wouldn't lash out like earlier. As calmly as she possibly could at this moment in time, she stated, "Hey Doc, I think I'm ready to talk."

This is obviously Beckett starting to remember her real life. Dreams/Flashbacks are in no particular order.

Thoughts? Comments? Complaints?