Author's Note: Revision 5/9/2018
This Wild Life – Bound to Break
-wake up with a stranger
-cover your room in glitter
-put pink flamingos in Gabe's pool
-barbecue a Barbie
-get the DJ drunk
-get a hickey or a bruise
-kiss a stranger
-max out a credit card
-streak in the park
-go skinny dipping
-have a ménage a trois
-connect the dots
-get your car towed
-break a chandelier
-rip your party outfit
-get arrested
Never Again
"You fellas are insane!"
"Shut up Benny! You're doing this with us, mate!"
"Balthazar, I am uncertain of this next activity."
"That just means you haven't had enough to drink, Cassie. Alfie be a dear and hand my brother that bottle of Jack Daniels." Castiel took the bottle, unscrewed the top and tossed it to Alfie taking a quick drink mechanically and handing it back to him.
"Right then." He glanced over at Balthazar and nodded his head.
Balthazar nodded back. "Are you ready?"
"Yes."
Benny, Balthazar, and Castiel lined up. "3…2…1-," They shed the last of their clothing and bolted down the stretch of grass beside the playground at the park, screaming and laughing excitedly. Kevin had his cell phone held out as far as he could reach and kept a careful hand over his eyes so as not to see anything he didn't want to.
Alfie doubled over laughing beside him. "I just saw my boss's really white ass!" (Streaking in the park)
-[]-
An hour later Castiel, Balthazar, Benny, Alfie, Kevin and the newly acquired Ash, part time DJ at Purgatory were sitting on Gabriel and Sam's back porch. Castiel was taking the time to carefully place several Barbies on Gabriel's barbeque before gingerly shutting the lid so as not to disturb them. (Barbie's on the barbeque). He shook his head. Perhaps it was in his best interest to quit drinking alcohol.
"Alright then, Cassie? You ready for another one?"
The one with the mullet he now knew as Ash took a giant swig of Jack Daniels. "Skinny dipping in the pool?"
Castiel furrowed his eyebrows as he started to pull off his hoodie. "Balthazar-," His voice muffled by the sweatshirt. "I can't help but find that this is the second endeavor that has us-," His top fell to the ground and he started on his belt. "-without clothing."
Balthazar chuckled already standing in his pink and white polka-dot boxers. This time Ash was beside him and Benny was ready to do the photo proof. Castiel glanced around. "Where are the interns?"
His brother waved his hand impatiently. "They're unloading all the pink flamingos." Balthazar looked over at Ash and Castiel. "You boys ready?"
Castiel nodded. "Ready."
This time Ash counted them off. "3…2…1…" For the second time that night Castiel found himself completely naked. "Jump!" He took a gigantic breath and dove into the water letting the lukewarm water engulf him. He swam from the deep end to the shallow end and resurfaced inhaling deeply.
He pushed his hair out of his eyes. Balthazar surfaced beside him mimicking his movements and Ash unceremoniously doggy paddled his way to them. (Skinny dipping in the dark) "Mr. Novak!" Balthazar and Castiel both turned to see Alfie clutching a handful of pink flamingos.
"Excellent!" Balthazar bobbed their way. "Toss them my way then, mate!"
"Balthazar, quiet down!"
"Oh shut up Cassie and help me maneuver these retched things." For the next twenty minutes the three of them spread out thirty pink flamingos around Gabriel's pool. Kevin fetched them some towels that they had bought from a 24 hour department store which Castiel later recalled was named Wal-Mart. (pink flamingos in the pool)
-[]-
At nearly midnight, Castiel finally found himself back at the diner. He was sitting on the trunk of his Mustang parked behind the restaurant. The white paint he had bought from the store as well sat open on the ground beside him. He had just finished painting angel wings on both sides of that beautiful steel blue Mustang because – after all – he was the angel of Thursday. That made sense right?
Oh well, he was too intoxicated to care.
His guitar was sitting on his lap drowning out the sounds of laughter from the back door. His only source of light had been the full moon itself and the warm yellow glow from the open door and windows.
He began strumming some familiar chords. He closed his eyes feeling his heart wrench when he remembered the first time he wrote this. It was stupid really, and he knew this, but he so desperately craved his father's approval. It was the whole reason why he'd entered Novak Industries in the first place, abandoning his love for Mythology and Foreign Languages. "You get me so worked up my ears are red hot. Pressure me to be something that I'm not. Well forget it you can't have it, I'll never fit your mold – this shit is getting old." He sang.
His father had been absent for the first ten years of his life, for circumstances that to this day Castiel still didn't understand, but he'd hoped that by joining Novak Industries he could at least have some sort of relationship with Chuck Novak. Unfortunately, no matter how many deals he'd made, how much money or how many companies he'd saved his father still hadn't given him the time of day. "I try to be the one that you can count on, I fought it tooth and nail but you were just gone. So, forget it, you can't have it, I'll never be the one. I am the setting sun."
He didn't even hear as Balthazar left the diner to stand beside him at the Mustang. "I'm reckless and selfish. I'm feeling defenseless. Even at my best I'm still feeling like a mess. I'm not proud of who I've been. I know I've gotta grow. I live with a temper that never gets better. It's ripping me to shreds. It's still burning in my head. I'm not proud of who I've been. I know I've gotta grow."
He opened his eyes and stopped suddenly when he noticed his older brother smiling sadly at him. He held out a glass of water and Castiel set aside the guitar accepting it with a muttered 'thank you.' He took a generous drink as Balthazar took a seat beside him. "You know Cassie, you really should consider singing again." His voice was barely above a whisper. Castiel said nothing and took another drink. Faint laughter filtered out of the kitchen. Balthazar cleared his throat. "I think it would be good for you, mate." He said as casually as he could.
Castiel sighed. "Listen Balthazar… I just don't have the time. And you know that father never approved of Perdition-,"
"Yes, but judging by that song Castiel you know that you don't belong at Novak Industries."
"But I do. I have the-,"
"-gift. You have the gift, I know. But I just think you should sing again." Castiel opened his mouth to protest and Balthazar continued. "I'm just saying. If anything, why don't you try doing both?" He raised an eyebrow in response and taking that as not a total 'no' Balthazar pressed on. "Hear me out! We can record an EP, play it on the radio and just go from there." Castiel looked down at the nearly empty glass in his hand. He furrowed his eyebrows and Balthazar pressed his luck and continued. "We can play local shows in the Kansas area-," He held up his hands defensively when Castiel shot him a warning look. "-don't worry! We'll still do the whole disguise thing, but don't tell me it wouldn't be nice to hang up the long sleeves, put in your piercings and let the world see The Soldier again."
Castiel looked over at his guitar. He'd be lying if he said he didn't miss it. In fact, given the terrible memories he'd left in New York, the sudden move to Kansas and yet another one of his brothers falling in love and getting married – the youngest Novak found that he felt rather empty. Like something was missing… and if he wasn't careful his skin would swallow him whole. So, without thinking he sought out the old guitar as just a way to cope which resulted in a notebook full of sad acoustic songs.
He locked eyes with Balthazar. "I'll do it."
His brother nearly dropped his glass. "You will?" He leapt off the car and pulled Castiel with him rushing up the stairs. They stumbled through their dining room, having to step over broken shards of the chandelier and Castiel wondered curiously when the hell that happened… and how? (Break a chandelier). He flicked on the light and went to his work bag rifling through papers before pulling out a contract already written up for Perdition.
Castiel narrowed his eyes at him. "Why did you already have this?"
Balthazar tried to shrug nonchalantly. "I had high hopes." He held out a beautiful ball point pen. "What do you say, Cassie?"
Castiel knitted his eyebrows together glancing over the contract not really reading anything. None of that mattered. He trusted Balthazar, but signing this? It could change everything. He swallowed the lump in his throat, pushed down his nerves, and flipped to the last page. His brothers had all already signed. Lucifer, Balthazar, Gabriel – Hell, even Michael as their legal attorney and as their stand in manager in Balthazar's place. Determination washed over him. He bent over the nightstand and jotted down his signature. He closed the packet and passed it back to his brother. "Yes."
"Time to celebrate, Cassie! To the bar!"
"You can't be serious?"
-[]-
If there was anything Castiel might have hated more than suits it was alarms. He had always made sure to choose a song, or a softer noise instead of that standard relentless beeping. So this?
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
He knew was not his doing. He reached out finding himself further on the edge of the bed that he had anticipated causing him to unceremoniously flop to the floor with a loud
Thud!
Fortunately, his hand slammed the off button the way down.
"Oomffph. Shit." His mouth groaned against the hardwood floor and he felt a layer of dust particles on his lips. "Pfff…pffff…" He sputtered out. "Augh!" He wiped his lips with the back of his hand and noted the multicolored glitter. "What the hell?" He murmured and turned around taking in his surroundings. Most of his floor, furniture and bed were covered in glitter. (glitter all over the room) Including the half-naked guy in his bed – oh my god! There was a half-naked guy in his bed. (stranger in my bed).
He recoiled a little too quickly and clutched his head in pain. The man was laying on his stomach and Castiel stood on his tippy toes to try and see his face. A thought occurred to him. Was he also naked? He threw his hands along his torso. He could feel his own skin. He looked down. Okay, well the underwear was on. That's a good sign, right? The man stirred and rolled to his side. His eyes opened, and he blinked blearily a few times before focusing on Castiel. "Hello there, brotha!" He greeted in a cheerful southern drawl.
Castiel blinked back. Well he sounded familiar… He narrowed his eyes. He just couldn't quite place it… He frowned. Well he wasn't ugly. Not really his type and Castiel was never the one-night stand type – really, but he wasn't bad looking. But then again – Castiel didn't really feel like he'd engaged in…. intercourse the night before. The stranger raised his eyebrows expectantly.
Oh crap. Castiel was staring. He cleared his throat. "Oh-um, I'm sorry – did we… um-,"
And to that the stranger laughed. "No, no. We did not. Sorry buddy, we don't play on the same team." He looked up thoughtfully. "Although you did kiss me, and I have to say, for my first kiss with a man it wasn't terrible." Castiel put his face in his hands blushing furiously. (Kiss a stranger) The stranger laughed. "You probably don't remember much, you did black out before the rest of us went back to the club." He placed his hands on his chest to gesture to himself. "Benny."
A lightbulb clicked and Castiel remembered that he was the owner of Purgatoy. "Right." He cleared his throat again. "Um – make yourself at home. I need to - I need to get ready for work." He clutched his head as he thundered through the apartment, pausing only to once to open Balthazar's door and berate his brother for the night before. The door swung open and he noticed an entirely different man lying in Balthazar's bed as well as a woman. (Have a menage a trois) Augh Gross. He shut the door quietly to avoid any uncomfortable conversation and continued down the hall. When he reached the bathroom he immediately turned on the water. He splashed his face with cold water and then checked his reflection. There was a bruise at the hinge of his jaw just beneath his ear. Oh no. Was that a hickey?
Wait a minute, wait a minute no. That's right. Castiel and oh geeze… what was his Asian intern's name again? Well whatever his name was, the two of them were playing keep away with Balthazar's sunglasses, resulting in a terribly timed catch by the intern – taking down the chandelier – and an angry Balthazar taking a cheap shot at Castiel's jaw. (Is this a hickey or a bruise)
Oh, and he was covered in glitter. And what the hell?
He looked at his right arm which had up until this point been completely devoid of tattoos. Wait – those weren't tattoos they were… phone numbers.
He held up his arm to the light and groaned. There must have been at least a dozen phone numbers of both men and women scrawled across his right arm. This was definitely in some way, Balthazar's doing. The shower curtain flung open and Castiel let out a manly shriek. One of his interns was laying shirtless in the tub wincing against the bathroom light. "Mr. Novak, sir?"
"Alfie?"
His eyes became more alert and he flashed a sleepy grin through his puffy eyes. "Oh good sir, you're up. I've taken the liberty of calling you a work car sir to pick you up this morning."
Castiel narrowed his eyes. "A work car? Alfie, I prefer to drive thank you-,"
The intern tilted his head curiously. "Yes, but sir your car has been towed."
"What?!" He asked incredulously.
Alfie heaved himself up out of the tub. "Yes, you insisted that Balthazar take your car when we returned to the club and you stayed behind. Unfortunately, Balthazar parked your vehicle by a fire hydrant and we had to take a cab home!" (Get your car towed)
Castiel was startled by his intern's appearance. "Um Alfie?"
"Yes sir?"
"Is that – is that a star drawn in sharpie across your torso."
"Yes sir, you and Balthazar were playing connect the dots." If it was possible Castiel blushed a deeper shade of red. "On my back you drew a bee." He turned around.
"Oh my god." (Connect the dots)
Alfie's phone rang and he fumbled for it in his pant pocket. "Hello? Ash?" There was a long pause. "Oh my, I'll have a car sent for you right away! Yes, yes, goodbye." Castiel looked at him expectantly. Alfie looked down bashfully. "Apparently last night we left Ash passed out in Gabriel's backyard." Castiel blinked. "The DJ from Purgatory." (Get the DJ drunk)
"Of course, we did." He answered sarcastically. He was going to kill Balthazar. He thundered into his bedroom, Benny already gone and pulled on his jeans from the night before noticing the rip on the upper thigh. His jeans? Really? (Rip your party outfit)
He threw open his closet and noticed his suit jackets and long sleeves gone. That couldn't be possible! He threw open his drawers and checked his bedroom floor.
Nothing.
Could he risk thundering into the diner where Balthazar undoubtedly was even with a short sleeve? He wasn't certain people would match his tattoos with the lead singer of Perdition. He was very cautious about the photoshoots they'd done exposing his tattoos but at a bit of a distance and blur, but even then – the buzz about Castiel Novak, CEO of Novak Industries having a full sleeve would be just as annoying.
He growled and thundered down the steps and into the kitchen. This was all Balthazar's fault. "Balthazar!"
The extra cook that Gabriel had hired looked at him warily and he was grateful that the wait staff was out on the floor at the moment. He marched through the kitchen and paused at the doors. He couldn't go out there. Not without a shirt. Dammit Balthazar…
"Balthazar! Get in here now!" He could hear Gabriel and Balthazar giggling behind the door. "Balthazar!" He warned again. If that stupid arrogant asshole didn't get in here in the next five minutes he was going to –
He huffed and crossed his arms. Well he didn't know but he was going to do something.
"Cassie Darling, why don't you come out here?"
Castiel growled. "You know very well Balthazar that I can't! Now, Get. In. Here." He stomped his foot.
"No!"
God damn immature sonofabitch. He angrily knocked a pot off the countertop. And that was when he noticed it.
An arsenal right before his eyes. Flour. Syrup. He walked to the fridge and pulled out a couple of cans of whipped cream. And there? There was the pie he had drunkenly made the night before. Sure, Castiel made an even more delicious pie sober, but for some reason after he'd been drinking he'd always end his bender by making a pie. He knew it made him totally and utterly bizarre, but right now, he had the upper hand. "Fine!" He shouted as he took the pie and instead placed it on the countertop. "I guess you guys don't want the pie I made last night…"
There was some scuffling on the other side of the door and a voice that Castiel didn't recognize but he felt himself involuntarily shutter at the sound. A moment later Balthazar and Gabriel stumbled through the kitchen door. Castiel grabbed for both pies, balancing them on his palms. His brothers froze. "Cassie." Gabriel swallowed. "Put. Down. The. Pie."
Castiel glared. They had a few moments of silence before Balthazar started. The youngest Novak gingerly set down the pies and instead picked up a bag of flower, slicing off the top. "Little brother, please can you-," He lunged forward – "Cassie wait-aaaaaahhh!" – and dumped the contents on both of his brothers.
He reached for the maple syrup. Gabriel threw his hands up defensively. "No, no, no! Cassie please! Don't-ahhhhhh!" He poured it over Gabriel's head. He reached for the whipped cream managing to get a decent amount all over Balthazar and that's when he reached for the pies.
Balthazar backed up. "The pie! Not the pie!" Gabriel started backing away as well. "We're sor-," They tumbled over the pots that Castiel had knocked down earlier. Balthazar desperately reached up for the pans and utensils that were strung through the center of the kitchen causing the line to tumble down on top of them. They scrambled to their feet and Castiel slammed a pie each into their torsos. He dusted off his hands and thundered up the stairs.
Castiel Novak did not get drunk.
Well. Never again at least.