Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Touhou characters, settings or any other original material created by ZUN or any other affiliates. All Touhou copyrights belong to their respective owners.

Gentlemen, and ladies… If you're having trouble with romance, just get yourself an umbrella. Kogasa will demonstrate what I mean.

Enjoy.

Ch. 18: Before PDA, check your bearings

"So can you believe it? My previous owner threw me out over this ugly pink coloured umbrella! Can you believe it?" Kogasa complained, still pulling on Suika's arm.

"Yeeaah… Pink… Urgh…" Suika was doing her best not to upset the little brinjal-umbrella totting youkai. It wasn't too hard. Suika wasn't exactly fond of pink herself. And if she ever needed to muster pretence of disgust at one of Kogasa's tales of ill-treatment, all she had to do was to look at Kogasa's umbrella! …Okay, sorry Kogasa, that was just mean of me, thought Suika.

Ibuki Suika and Tatara Kogasa were still walking hand-in-hand, Kogasa taking the lead, her every step bouncing with happiness as the pair headed towards Myouren Temple, as if she was walking on cloud ⑨. Thanks to an earlier incident involving a certain gap-youkai, Ibuki Suika was now miles away from the Hakurei Shrine, and she was not entirely sure how to find her way back. Also thanks to that same incident, Suika was now stuck with this moe-but-annoying umbrella youkai named Tatara Kogasa.

Well, it wasn't so bad, Suika thought as she secretly stole a glance at the blue-haired youkai wrapped in a blue dress gripping her by a soft, little hand; the girl was rather cute and energetic. However, Kogasa was also under the impression that Suika had adopted her, and now, she just won't leave Suika's side… What to do, what to do? Maybe there's some way I can leave her at Myouren's temple? I mean… I can't possibly bring her back with me to the Hakurei shrine can I? Suika pictured Reimu's stern face at Suika bringing back something unwanted once again. Nope, not possible, Reimu won't put up with another free-loader…

"Yup! It was all translucent too!" Kogasa continued her tale of misfortune, enthusiastic that someone was sympathising with her. "Translucent! Like some indecisive umbrella that can't decide whether to block out the rain or let it in!" Kogasa huffed. "But," she looked over her shoulder at Suika and beamed, "At least I have you to understand me!"

"R-Right…" Suika fretted a little. Yup, Kogasa was showing no signs of wanting to leave her side. "H-Hey," Suika began tentatively, "You know that after we get to Myouren Temple-"

"Oh! Don't worry!" Kogasa smiled at Suika again. "The head monk Hijiri Byakuren is very friendly to humans and youkai alike!" Kogasa squeezed Suika hand, "So you have nothing to worry about, Suika-sama!"

"Hey… I'm an Oni," Suika thumped her chest, "Not just some plain, weak youkai okay? So don't lump me with- WAIT WAIT WAIT! Wh-What did you just call me? !"

"What's wrong Suika-sama?" Kogasa looked at Suika quizzically.

"U-Um… N-Nothing…" S-Suika-sama? This is bad, this is bad this is bad…! Suika tried to pull her hand away from Kogasa's grip, but ended up reeling in Kogasa straight into her arms and bringing the two to a stop in the middle of the forest lane.

"…! Suika-sama?" Kogasa asked, a little surprised and all too elated at Suika's accidental romantic gesture. "Is something the matter?" she asked gently and just a tad bit foxily as she stared straight into Suika's eyes, her hands planted on Suika's iron-board of a chest.

"…!"Suika blushed heavily with a stunned expression on her face, her eyes wide open against the gravity of alcohol, but otherwise managed to keep her cool. Good thing I regularly sedate my mind with alcohol, Suika thought a little groggily…

"Do you like it?" Kogasa smiled widely. "The way I address you? I thought it would help seal your ownership of me faster." Kogasa shifted her hands from Suika's chest to around Suika's waist and rested her head against Suika-

"Y-Yikes! K-Kogasa!" Suika quickly grabbed Kogasa's arms and removed them, holding them in her own hands in front of her face to keep them securely in her line of sight.

"…! S-Suika-sama?" Kogasa asked a little downcast. "Do you… not like me?"

"I, ah… No! It's ah…" Damn it! Youkai-moe… "I um, ahem, am just in a hurry to get back home, is all," Suika truthfully told Kogasa. "And uh… That way we can both settle back down quickly," Suika distorted the truth without lying to soothe the umbrella youkai, careful to leave out exactly where she thought they each ought to be settling. "So um, could you just bring me over to Myouren Temple as fast as possible?" Suika requested with a nervous smile.

"Hah… Yes! Suika-sama!" Kogasa left Suika's side and started tugging at Suika's arm again down the forest lane while simultaneously fantasizing about the day she would be taken home with Suika.

Whew… at least she's off my chest for now, Suika mentally sighed. Oh? Oh, no pun intended by the way- Woah!

"Kogasa!" Suika's snapped her wrist and smoothly pulled a surprised Kogasa back into her arms, just as the spot where Kogasa was heading towards was peppered heavily with little yellow danmaku.

"Hyah!"

"Kogasa are you- Wah!" Suika pulled down Kogasa into a crouched embrace as the little yellow danmaku reflected off the ground into yellow lasers.

"Whew… missed us… You alright, Kogasa?" Suika looked down to check on the umbrella youkai.

"S-Suika-sama…" Kogasa was looking at Suika all puppy-eyed.

"Oh boy…" Suika muttered to herself. Then, Suika suddenly shifted Kogasa to the side and clutched her with one arm on her shoulder so as to be able to free up one arm. "Stay alert Kogasa! Our assailant is still around!"

"Y-Yes, Suika-sama," Kogasa braced herself against Suika's side, her own umbrella held out in front of her, cocked for danmaku as the two of them stared in the direction the danmaku came from, right into the depths of the forest.

"Well, well? What do we have here?" came a cunning little voice from deep within. "It appears," a silhouette started to form. "That I have you cornered…" the form of a child-sized mouse-youkai emerged.

"Surrender what you have stolen!" Nazrin declared, her dowsing rods held at arm's length, aimed and- "You THIE-ie-ie-ie-ieves?" -ready? Nazrin stopped mid-sentence and let her dowsing rods lower slowly as she squinted at Suika in Kogasa's arms, and then at Kogasa in Suika's arms.

"Oh…" Nazrin brought a hand to her mouth as her face showed signs of imminent blushing. "Squeak! I'm sorry, please excuse me!" The mouse general quickly turned away and ran from the couple she had so rudely interrupted mid-intimacy. Silly, silly me! This is the sort of mistake only Shou-sama would make!

"Huh?" Suika looked after Nazrin, confused. She then looked down at a beaming Kogasa, happy that she had just vanquished a youkai with her master, then looked after Nazrin again. "Oh... dammit."

Misunderstanding.

"Wait! WAIT!" Suika started giving chase, with Kogasa close behind.

"Oh… so you were just looking for Myouren Temple, huh?" Nazrin nodded, having understood the situation after intense explanation from Suika. "Well you're in luck!" Nazrin grabbed one of Suika's hands and shook it congratulatory. "Although I'm not a part of the clergy… And Shou-sama is just a trainee…"

"Uh… Why are you shaking my hand-"

"But no matter! I think there are a few qualified monks I know that can help you with marriage services!" Nazrin continued to shake Suika's hands in a congratulatory manner.

"…" Suika deadpanned at Nazrin. Nazrin beamed back.

Earlier on, the little mouse leader had mistaken Suika and Kogasa for a couple doing… well, whatever couples do in the middle of a youkai infested forest. It took awhile, but the Oni and Karakasa finally caught up to the mouse youkai. The short gray-haired, red-eyed girl clad in a simple faded brown dress, as it turns out, was a resident of the Myouren temple and knew where it was. Suika also took note that Kogasa and Nazrin already knew each other, which was unsurprising since Kogasa also frequented the area.

"N-Nazrin... I've already explained myself haven't I?" Suika sweat-dropped. "We're not a couple!" Suika indicated to herself and Kogasa next to her.

"S-Sorry Suika-san!" Nazrin grinned mischievously. "I was only joking! Sheesh!"

"How mean of you Nazrin!" Kogasa added on. "We really aren't a couple!" she pouted, to the pleasant surprise of Suika. Huh… Guess Kogasa thinks differently too… That's good to know-

"We're really aren't like that, Nazrin!" Kogasa reiterated, stopping to hug herself. "I'm not her lover! I'm her property!" Kogasa hugged tighter as she broke out into a blush. "Suika-sama owns me," Kogasa's face carried the expression of nearly wetting herself. "I'm hers now," she finished with a quivering voice.

Nazrin stared in complete shock at Kogasa's confession, before turning around at the sound of a thump to see Suika lying on the ground, comatose, finally overdosed and slain by Kogasa's constant showering of affection.

I uh… Hmmm… did I overdo it?

Nah, I like Kogasa this way, hehe…