A/N 7/19/2012: Thanks to GoogleFloobs for thetaing (Check out his story)! Again, this story is currently under revision, so please excuse any inconsistencies. A full plan of my revisions is avail in Chp. 59, Author's Explanatory Note: An Update.

Disclaimer: Mass Effect is copyright of Bioware. Ci-Ci is mine.

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Thank you for reading. Enjoy!

19 May 2183—Outside Chora's Den, Market Ward, the Citadel

Shepard had been in an uncommonly good mood for the last few days, to the point that he even let a near-psychotic fan named Conrad Verner get an autograph and picture.

"Tell anyone about that," he growled, "and —"

Corinthia laughed. "And what? Seriously, Shep, you can't threaten me and you know. BUT I like your badass reputation too much to go blabbing. But tell that to him." She jerked her thumb back to the ecstatic Verner. "You just discovered the nice side of being famous."

Shepard snorted. "I hate pussies like that."

"Then why'd you indulge him?"

Shepard shrugged. "Because you'd get pissed if I punched him in the face?"

"Aw, you don't need to go worrying about what I think."

"Too late." Shepard hesitated outside the entrance to Chora's Den. "And this isn't your kind of place."

Corinthia snickered. "Yeah, point, but I've already been inside a couple times. I talked to Harkin for you, remember?"

"Who?"

"Oh, nevermind. But, yeah, I've been in before and it's uncomfortable."

"Do you want to go somewhere else?"

She gestured to herself. "Armor. On Duty. Any of those phrases ring a bell?"

Shepard shook his head. "Ruining the fun already..."

"What fun? We're taking care of some business while everyone else is on leave."

Shepard groaned. It had been almost a week and nothing had changed, at least in terms of them. Yeah, they'd gotten over the argument, but Corinthia hadn't come to him or attempted to get close to him, either. Granted, they hadn't really had a chance; Shepard didn't want to be surprised during another mission. He wasn't particularly eager to turn over every stone — that job wasn't for the commander of the ship — but he didn't have another option. Well, he did, but it was an excuse to be alone with her for a while. Yeah, they were no duty, but there wasn't anyone else to get in the way.

He knew it was stupid and a dumb thing to do, but he was still residually freaked out from her almost dying on Eden Prime. And he wanted to see how long it would take her to come around. Being in uniform wasn't the best start, but it was still a start.

"Well, fuck me sideways, if it isn't little Johnny Shepard!"

Shepard froze in his tracks, his heart racing. He knew that voice: Finch, a member of the Reds. It was one that he had never, ever expected to hear again. He'd blown up an entire building to get away from them, and now one was just calling out to him?

Corinthia raised an eyebrow. "That's Commander Shepard to you," she snapped.

Shepard would have been grateful for her intervention except for that he was about to start shooting. Or throw Finch through a wall. Out an airlock. Make his head explode. Something. Honestly, he just wanted to be able to walk by and not think about it ever again.

"Seriously? Damn, and is that N7?" Finch stepped in front of Shepard. "C'mon, Johnny, talk to an old frie —"

Finch's words choked in his mouth as Shepard enveloped him in a biotic hold. In a flash, Corinthia was at Shepard's side, one hand on the back of his neck over his tattoo and the other gripping his wrist to try and make him let down his biotics.

"Commander," she murmured. "Whoever he is, he hasn't done anything to you."

Shepard didn't look at her, even though her touch was calming him with every beat of his heart. He inhaled, casually tossing Finch into the opposite wall. "Stay away from me," he growled, storming off.

Finch rubbed his throat. "Talk about ungrateful..." He looked at Corinthia. "What're you? His girlfriend?"

"Partner," Corinthia corrected, putting her palm on her pistol. She took out her omni-tool, waving it before him. "And if I were you, I'd get your ass out of here before Shepard really decides to kill you. Before you ask, I know who you are."

Finch looked her up and down. "You don't know who you're dealing with."

"Yes, I do: some two-bit enforcer thug for the Reds." Corinthia raised an eyebrow. "And what's this? A whole list of little things you've been implicated with. I'm pretty sure I could find some evidence to get you convicted..."

Shepard came back, putting a pistol to Finch's head. "I'm only going to say this once: Leave me the fuck alone. Go back to whatever hole the Reds crawled into and never, ever try to contact me again, because if you do, I will finish what I started eleven years ago. You got that, you fucking son of a bitch?"

Finch nodded quickly. Even if he had intended to lean on the Commander, Shepard wasn't the same guy that had walked out of that building in Los Angeles. This man was deadly, dangerous, and unwavering.

"Yeah, yeah," Finch said breathlessly. "Don't know what I was thinking, sir. You sure look like Johnny, but you aren't him. I'll just be on my way, okay? Okay?" He got to his feet and skittered off.

Shepard's chest heaved. He wasn't sure how or why, but Finch was still breathing. He was gone, but he was still breathing. That wasn't how Shepard operated, leaving loose ends like that.

Corinthia put an arm around his shoulders, fingers stroking over his tattoo. "C'mon, let's get back to the Normandy or something."

Shepard shook her off. "Just leave me alone."

"No."

Shepard stiffened. He wasn't sure that she'd ever told him that before. All he wanted to do was destroy something, but she was going to sit there and stroke his hand like he was some helpless child.

Corinthia, however, didn't touch his hand. Instead, she just kept rubbing the back of his neck. "We don't have to talk or anything. I just know that look."

Shepard took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He was calming down and beginning to feel more like himself. The fact was that he'd been scared of Finch — less of the man and more of what he could do. Finch could ruin Shepard with a single breath by letting everyone know Shepard had been one of them. Yeah, he'd gotten rid of any physical evidence, but there were still Reds breathing, so any word from one of them could send his life crashing down.

In a flash, it occurred to him how weird it would look for him and Corinthia to be standing there in full armor, her hand on the base of his skull. He reached around, grabbed her wrist, and pushed her touch aside.

"Not here," he said, voice hoarse.

She nodded. "Yeah, sorry. Drink?"

"No." He leaned against a railing, staring down into the lower floors of the Market Ward. People milled about like ants in their hill. Every last one of them thought that their minuscule lives were so important that no one else mattered. They had no idea that their entire existence was in danger, that Shepard was the only thing standing between them and Saren's geth invasion. Or whatever the goddamn turian was up to. Even Finch, that slimy cowardly bastard, had his own little insignificant agenda.

And every last one of those people thought that Shepard could solve their problems. It was one thing to take a request from Hackett or let members of the crew run errands in Shepard's name, but it was another for people to thrust their personal problems onto him. Corinthia was too soft and couldn't say no to anyone (well, except to him just then), but it was her time to do with what she wanted. It wasn't like an investigation was straightforward. Not that he'd done one before; that was her thing. He just went where he was told, although he was relishing being able to do whatever the hell he wanted.

Corinthia leaned next to him, tugging on her fingers to crack her knuckles. "Alright. Hug?"

He thumped his chest, knuckle guards clapping against the hard exoskeleton of his armor. "Pointless and awkward."

"Oh, right." She shifted uncomfortably. "Want me to get him arrested?"

Shepard barked with laughter. "Can you?" he asked after a moment.

"Sure. It's not that complicated, really. Just a few tactful submissions to C-Sec — this time I'll tell them that I'm the Shadow Broker — and, badda bing badda bam, one arrested gang member!" She wiggled her fingers as if she were casting a spell. "Yay! No more Red Herring!"

"Finch," Shepard corrected.

"No more Yellow Bellied Bird Bastard!"

Shepard snickered and shook his head. "Just don't get yourself into trouble."

She winked. "You know me. I won't do that."

Her omni-tool flared to life and she stared manipulating screens. Shepard tried to watch her, but she was moving too quickly and he had a feeling that he could get arrested for even being privy to the types of security she was breezing through.

"Done," she said after about ten minutes. "Someone should pick him up in the next couple hours."

"Know why he was here?"

"To get another buddy out of trouble. But... yeah, that's not happening." She moved closer to him. "You okay?" she murmured.

"No."

She tugged off her glove, grabbing his hand to do the same. He raised an eyebrow. "Determined, are we?" he asked, torn between amusement and annoyance.

She succeeded in freeing his hand and interlaced her fingers with his. "This is my job, right? Make you feel better? Calm you down and all that fun stuff?"

He sighed. "I guess. Whatever." Still, he didn't release her.

Corinthia hesitated before saying, "I know how you feel, you know."

"I doubt that."

"Wanting to kill everything that reminds you of a terrible part in your life? Yes, I do."

Shepard had almost forgotten, between her smiles and goofy grins, that she'd had almost as bad a childhood as he had.

"Cerberus," he muttered, tightening his grip on her hand. Frankly, he didn't like them much, either, but he was pretty sure that his own vendetta against them was stronger than hers. After all, he was the only one to have done something to get back at them. He'd liked the idea of fighting them for her, and honestly he still did, in a sense. She could take care of herself (mostly), but if he took care of it, it was one less thing that she had to face.

Corinthia whimpered slightly. He realized just how hard he was squeezing her fingers and released her.

"You okay?" he asked.

She nodded, shaking out her hand. "Yeah, fine. It's fine. You're riled up."

Shepard exhaled, glad that she could shrug off pain. "I'll get over it."

"You really thought all of this was behind you," she observed, putting her hand back in his.

"Not exactly. Not like I ever got over being with them," Shepard muttered.

"You're better than all of that."

"Prove it."

"Akuze."

"What about it?"

"You didn't have to save me. You could've gotten out of there on your own, escaped the thresher, everything. You didn't need me, but you dragged me out, anyway. The same on Torfan: you kept protecting me."

"You're a special case," Shepard muttered. "You should know that by now."

"Would you have made an exception before?"

"I never had a reason."

"That wasn't my question."

Shepard thought for a moment. "No, I wouldn't," he said, his voice low and near silent.

"Exactly. You care."

Shepard shook his head. "Whatever I wanted to do to Finch... It's gone. That bastard isn't worth my time."

"Good. That's my tough guy." She got on tiptoe and kissed his cheek.

Shepard hesitated. "Cassie..."

"Huh?"

"Not now... What that makes me want... We're doing that alone." He smirked. "Not putting you on display."

"Display? How would you — Oh. Oh." She turned crimson.

"What? You can't be that freaked out about it."

"It's just... I mean, you're my friend. Won't it be weird?"

"I... have other friends."

"Against your will. Garrus told me you stared him down for an hour over me."

Shepard groaned. "Vakarian..."

"He said it was hilarious. That you're more protective than a mother varren."

"With damn good reason."

"In case there were other guys like you used to be after me, right?"

"What was that?" he growled.

She blanched. "I was kidding! And I said 'like you used to be'. You aren't exactly cuddly now, but you're not a bad guy either. Badass? Totally. But bad? Nah. Only in the bad-boy context."

Shepard was starting to feel better, but he wanted to be off duty so he could get some more appropriate physical comfort from her. Even if he hated feeling weak, he knew he could be like that around her, get it out of his system while he could so that it wouldn't come back to bite him later.

"Cuddly?" he repeated.

"Well, yeah... I mean, you are when you're black-out drunk, but..." She blushed, remembering her shock at waking up with him in bed with her.

Shepard smirked. "You know you liked it."

"Well, yeah, of course I did because I liked you, but you freaked me out, you know?"

"If I do it again, I'll keep my shirt on."

"And pants. Don't forget those."

"You don't expect me to sleep in my casuals, do you?" Shepard groaned. "Damn it..."

Corinthia laughed. "You don't expect me to sleep — oh, wait, you do?"

Shepard put a hand over her mouth before she talked herself into her own grave. "Calm down, Cassie. This isn't a discussion for here, anyway. You know what the Alliance will do, given the chance." He removed his palm from her lips. "This is going to be complicated."

"And?" she answered softly. "It always has been."

"Yeah..." Shepard ran a hand over his head. "What other messages do you have from the Citadel?"

She wasn't so sure that she wanted to just drop the topic, but she understood his hesitation. As if they needed any more pressure in their lives, especially from each other. "A few messages. There's an admiral that needs some help, and an asari diplomat and that guy who tried to talk to you outside the embassy... Why? I thought you didn't like it here."

Shepard pulled his glove back on. "Not exactly looking forward to Anderson's next lead. If it's anything like the last one, we're in for a shit storm and I want to be as ready as possible."

Corinthia took the hint and opened her omni-tool. "I'll look into Noveria and Feros, then. Maybe I can find something before we show up."

"Isn't that supposed to be your job?"

"Nah. I'm here to look pretty and keep you in line." She grinned, winked, and jerked a thumb towards the market. "And to tell you that we're gonna need better armor, guns, and technology."

"As in you want a new omni-tool."

"Yeppers. Pretty much."

He groaned. "Ci-Ci?"

"Hm?"

"No."

The Council Tower

Admiral Kahoku could hardly believe it when he saw Lieutenant Commander Corinthia-Imreas and Commander Shepard walk up.

"You both got my message. Good," he started, relieved. "I wouldn't trust anyone else with this matter."

Shepard glanced at Corinthia. She hadn't even explained what Kahoku wanted, but the beep on his omni-tool told him that she'd just forwarded the message.

Corinthia nodded. "You have a scouting party missing, Admiral. That's really all I got from the message."

Kahoku nervously clasped his hands behind his back. "I'd hoped you would've had time to analyze the data."

Shepard wasn't going to be left in the dark. "Sir, I have yet to be made aware of the situation. The Lieutenant Commander here thought that it was important, so I came along."

"I sent a group of marines on a rescue mission," Kahoku explained. "They were investigating a distress signal, and then the connection to them just went dead. You've both been in that situation before, so who better to look into it?"

Shepard's mind flashed to Akuze and how close they'd been to dying. Corinthia seemed unfazed by the revelation and he strongly suspected that she'd already guessed that. She wouldn't have dragged him along if she didn't think it was important, which also meant that she'd just lied to a superior officer. Not that that was something knew — Shepard had seen her do it before — but it wasn't, exactly, a good thing. Even Shepard made a habit of telling the truth.

Shepard inclined his head. "Do you have any other details, sir?"

Kahoku shook his head. "No."

Shepard didn't need to see Corinthia's raised eyebrow to know that Kahoku was lying. "I see. We'll look into it, Admiral."

"Thank you," Kahoku breathed, visibly relaxing.

Shepard and Corinthia saluted before leaving.

"You know the rest of the story?" Shepard asked once they were in the elevator.

Corinthia shrugged. "I've got a good idea."

"Should I go buy a grenade launcher?"

She laughed. "More like some kind of anti-acid shield upgrade. I don't want to get melted by the maws, you know?"

"You sure that it's the same?"

"It's the exact same situation. I'm not going in there as anything but ready," Corinthia answered. "If we're wrong, it'll be a pleasant surprise, you know?"

"It'd damn well better be," Shepard muttered, "because it it's another fucking ambush. I'm going to lose it."

She patted his arm. "That I'd like to see. You going all psycho on the baddies. Blood and guts everywhere! Woohoo!"

Shepard tried not to laugh. Even if she was being completely serious, she didn't sound like it at all. Actually, she sounded like she just unlocked a new omni-tool program. He pressed his lips together, finally guffawing as Corinthia pulled a particularly hilarious grimace and cried, "O ye damned wyrms, meet thy bane-ish doom upon the exploding shrapnel of our gadzooking blunderbusses!"

"Where the fuck did that come from?" he asked between spasms of laughter.

"My id? Don't you know I was a Shakespearean actor in another life?" She grinned innocently. "What?" she asked after he started laughing again. "What'd I say?"

If they weren't in a glass elevator, Shepard would have been pulling her into a hug or something, but the doors were opening and everyone on the Presidium was already staring at him for laughing like a total fool.

"You know, you're actually kinda cute when you're laughing," Corinthia mused, stepping ahead of him and leaving him to follow on his own. "Otherwise you're just damned scary. Not that I care; that's sexy, too."

Shepard gritted his teeth, finally reining in his amusement. "If we weren't in the open..."

Corinthia raised an eyebrow. "Then what?"

"You'll see. Just don't freak."

"No promises there."

"Then I'll just tell you what I'm gonna do about half a second before I do it."

"Uhm... Should I be scared?"

"No." Shepard smirked. "Just don't expect to breathe for about an hour."

20 May 2183—Medical Lab, SSV Normandy, en route to Edolus, Sparta System, Artemis Tau Cluster

Corinthia hunched over her monitor, eyes glazed over as she tried to analyze the data from Kahoku. They'd sent deep space probes to get initial scans of the planet and so far nothing was coming back. Well, nothing worse than what her initial reports had been for Akuze. She was starting to get worried. Her hair was standing on end from how many times she'd run her fingers through it. The fact that she was finding nothing was worse than if she'd found something.

Liara peeked over her shoulder. "Have you found a Prothean language analyzer?" the asari asked.

Corinthia shook her head. "Working on other stuff," she answered casually. "Just... stuff. Sorry. I can't concentrate on it at all — your stuff or mine or anyone's." Corinthia ran her hands over her face. "This whole damn this is... I don't know. Being on good terms with Shep again helps, yeah, but at the same time it makes everything worse."

Liara put her hand on Corinthia's shoulder. "I don't understand. You care about him."

Corinthia sighed. "That makes it worse, actually. Regs and stuff. Look, thanks it's all between us and the Alliance. Right now my problem is —"

"That you are looking at a very vast series of numbers that show there is nothing there," Liara replied, her eyes barely glancing over the data. "The Normandy's scanners are good, but this is barely grazing the surface. I have been on enough digs to know that we just go there and personally scan to see what lies beneath. I have some algorithms that may help, if you wish."

"Oh, yeah. Great." Corinthia slid out of her chair to let Liara take a look.

"Go talk to him," Liara murmured. "I would be happy to look at this for you and see if I can find anything else."

Corinthia groaned. "He's probably sleeping off — uh, the Citadel," Corinthia answered. She wasn't going to blab about Finch or any of that.

"Just go," Liara urged. "You aren't the only one with computer skills, Ci-Ci. I am actually quite adept at this thing."

Corinthia smiled gratefully. "Thanks, Liara."

Liara inclined her head. "Of course. I am here to help."

Corinthia wandered out of the medical lab, hesitating before Shepard's door. The Captain's cabin was essentially off-limits to the crew unless summoned and she was pretty sure that if she went in there, she wouldn't be coming out anytime soon.

Still, they'd both had one hell of a day. She hadn't shown just how shaken she was because Shepard himself was already dealing with enough. Now wasn't the time to do a thing like that, but she could feel her hands starting to shake with nerves. She didn't want to face another thresher maw. She didn't want to face another situation where they could lose everything again.

Right as she raised her fist to knock on Shepard's door, it slid open and she found herself staring him directly in the throat.

"Ci-Ci," he said, clearly surprised. He stepped back. "I was just about to come find you."

"Oh, right," she answered, flushing. "Uhm..."

"Yeah," he answered, reading her mind and gesturing for her to come inside. He locked the door behind her. "You okay?"

"Huh?"

"You look a little shaken."

She ran her fingers through her hair, pointing to his bed to ask if she could sit. He nodded and she took a seat. For a moment, she looked like she expected him to join her, but when he didn't, she just fell back with a huff of frustration.

"Long day?" Shepard asked, leaning against the wall.

"My eyes hurt," she answered, staring at the ceiling. "Been staring at the readings from Ak — Edolus for the last five hours. Can't find anything."

Shepard took a deep breath. "Too familiar, right?"

She nodded. "Yeah..."

Shepard shifted uncomfortably. "You want to talk about it?"

"It doesn't matter. It's just another search and rescue."

"Like hell it is. As if it's coincidence you dragged me into that fucking tower for something that basic."

She chuckled "And people think you're just a thug."

"Fuck 'em." He came and sat next to her, putting his hand on her knee. "Akuze tore you up more than you ever let on, didn't it?"

She pressed her lips together before whispering, "Yeah."

"Like your mom's death."

She rolled onto her side. "Yeah."

"Cassie, I didn't mean — Damn it." Shepard mentally kicked himself. He moved his hand to her shoulder. "Look, I just — What am I supposed to do?" He pulled her back towards him so that he could see her eyes. "What do you want me to do?"

Corinthia had never, ever expected to hear him say those words, especially to her. Her cheeks reddened as his fingers stroked her cheek, brushing her hair away from her face. He was leaning over her, too, but not moving closer. He was worried — not about the mission, but about her. His face barely showed it, but she knew where to look. The way his eyebrows knitted together just a little more than usual, how his eyes weren't murderous or hateful, and the way he kept searching her face for some kind of answer.

"I don't know, John," she finally answered. "Part of me doesn't want to look."

"You said that about the Cerberus mission," Shepard replied.

"That was different. You were assigned —"

"I volunteered. For you. Because you didn't know what to do. I did: Get rid of the bastards."

"I never — You... did that for me?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Killing the past always made me feel better... But you're not me. I — fuck, this is all — I don't know what makes you smile or anything. What'll make you happy and all that sappy shit." He shook his head. "God, how do you even put up with me? I'm terrible at this. Like when I tried to compliment you all those times, remember?"

She smiled faintly. "Yeah, I remember. 'You look nice'," she mimicked, doing a very poor imitation of his voice. She laughed.

"You did. You still do." Shepard sighed, reaching out for her scars and drawing the back of his hand along them. He could feel her blush. God, he wanted to kiss her, but he wasn't going to. She'd said that she needed space; he was going to give her that until she indicated otherwise. He was going to kill himself doing it, though. There was only so much he could take before he'd eventually...give in.

"You're just saying that," Corinthia replied. "But if you said it any other way, you'd be trying to hard."

"I'm not becoming some fucking romantic sap."

Corinthia giggled. "I can see it now..." She grimaced. "No, no. Creepy image, that. Totally creepy. You just keep up the badass thing. I like that one."

Shepard smirked. "You know that would mean that I don't respect you, right?"

"Impossible. You're a total softie at heart. At least for me. I guess. I think..." She pursed her lips.

"Should I just assume you're never going to make a move on me?" Shepard asked.

"It'd be a good guess."

"Not even to let me know when you don't need space anymore?"

"I'd like to be swept off my feet, you know?"

"Thanks for the tip," Shepard muttered. There goes that mood... "Feel better?"

"Yeah..."

"Get some rest. Hopefully you won't need it."