All too quickly, she stood at the beginning of the aisle, holding her bouquet of pink roses and other flowers. She glanced at Dylan, who stood ramrod in his suit, but she still searched the crowd, hunted his broad shoulders clad in a black suit, hunting desperately for her Sam.

But he wasn't there. He wasn't anywhere among the guests.

Daddy stood beside her now.

The time had come.

On cue, like they'd practiced, her cousin, Becky, played the wedding march.

With a death grip, she gripped the bouquet as daddy offered his arm.

Attempting to smile, swallowing hard, she looked down the aisle at Dylan, and her heart slammed against her chest because she still looked at the crowd searching for Sam, and he wasn't there.

The crowd stood.

"Ready, darling?"

Breathing became hard and she struggled to catch her breath. Gasping, she managed to say, "Daddy, where's Sam? Have you seen him?"

"No, baby, not yet."

"I'm not a baby, and you said he'd be back." Her eyes swept the guests again. "Look, he's not here. How could he not be here? He knows how important this day is to me? I need him here."

"I'm sure he's around. Calm down." Daddy smiled gently down at her.

"I can't. I'm missing something, and I NEED to know where he is. It's important." The feeling was so important, it reminded her of the time she'd fallen on ice when she was young, of free falling and out of control just before slamming down on a hard surface to bruise her butt, and Sam had been the one to help her up while everyone else had laughed.

But then Sam always took care of her.

Daddy smiled gently down at her. "I'll find him for you later. Now shouldn't you be worrying about Dylan? You're marrying Dylan, sweetheart, not Sam."

"Right." She nodded as her brain went into hyper drive.

Damn it where was Sam? Had someone been hurt? Why had he wrapped his gift in tie die? Why remind her of that night? She replayed him holding their picture searching for a clue.

The music played on, and they moved forward. Step by step.

"Smile, honey. You're supposed to look happy. This is your wedding day. The first day of the best days of your life."

She plastered on a smile, and the moment became surreal as daddy walked her down the aisle toward her future, toward the man she'd thought she loved.

But what if she didn't?

Damn where was Sam? How could he leave her hanging like this?

Her future husband smiled brightly at her, and she waited for the rush, wished for that wonderful flash of emotion that existed every time she looked at Sam, and by rights, she should feel the same or more emotion for the man she married.

But nope, negative, no rush, no sizzle, no special feelings and the fact Sam had left kept replaying in her head.

And he'd left in a hurry.

WHY?

Why had he stared at their picture then left her wedding?

Why had he wrapped his gift to them in tie die fabric?

Now all she could think of was the night she'd reached out and held his hand, and he'd almost kissed her.

Did that mean he cared about her?

Cared about her, cared about her?

Why she'd never gotten up the courage to kiss Sam? Why had she never forced him to kiss her? Now, she'd never know what he tasted like, and she'd always be left wondering. Why'd had she never forced his hand?

Never pushed?

Why had she never shoved him hard against a wall and taken what she wanted, their friendship be damned if that was what happened. At least she'd have KNOWN.

Now she'd never know what he was thinking.

No, she'd never know.

Ever.

Her stomach knotted, her head and heart ached as a moment of clarity assaulted her.

She couldn't do this. Not here and not now and maybe not ever. She loved Sam. Damn it, she always had.

Why was she doing this? She looked at Dylan. Still no spark, no rush. She couldn't do this.

It was like being on a carnival ride and wanting off, needing to puke, while everything spun faster. She needed to make it stop.

And she wanted Sam here and not in the crowd. She wanted to know if they had a chance, if he felt something too.

She wanted Sam standing at the altar, wanted him smiling waiting on her, while their music played and the congregation stood, honoring them. Her and Sam.

The music stopped as they'd, somehow, reached the altar, and she made eye contact with Dylan, while wishing Sam's sky blue ones stared back at her.

She had to stop this.

NOW!

But she already stood at the altar. It seemed too late. Wait, she loved this man, right? She's said yes and taken his ring. To back out now. Jesus the consequences. All the things she would have to undo. Breathing became harder and harder and her chest tightened.

What was wrong with her? How could she stand here wishing Sam stood at the altar waiting for her in his black suit and tie instead of Dylan in his blue suit and still marry Dylan?

She couldn't. It wouldn't be right to either man.

Not when she wanted Sam. Not Dylan.

"Who gives this woman to marry this man?" Granddaddy's booming voice broke through her racing thoughts.

"I do." Daddy reached for her hand, and she clung to his arm like a life line.

Granddaddy raised a gray eyebrow at her and stage whispered, "Let go, dear. Take Dylan's hand." He nodded. "Just like we practiced."

She searched Dylan's eyes one last time for the rush, for anything, but like flat soda, Dylan did nothing for her, and she couldn't go through with this. This marriage would never survive her wondering about Sam and the tie die. His ghost would be sleeping in her marriage bed.

Drowning in deep, choppy water, she gasped as the realization she needed to give Sam a chance to explain the tie die wrapped present crashed over her. She would fight for Sam. He would give her a chance this time, them a chance this time. She would make him.

She shook her head, violently. Releasing her daddy, she took a step back, then another and another. "No, Dylan, I'm sorry but I can't do this. Daddy, please, I can't. Granddaddy, I won't. Dylan, I'm sorry to hurt you at the last minute kind of thing, but I can't do this. I'm not marrying you."

"Jennifer?" Dylan frowned and narrowed his eyes. "Sweetheart, you're having a bit of a panic attack. Things like this happen." He spoke to her like she was a child refusing to eat her green beans. "Now I want you to look at me and everything will be alright. Here take my hand."

Tears threatened as she crushed her perfect bouquet of pink roses, against her chest and she shook her head again. "No. I'm sorry, truly sorry. I shouldn't have never let it get this far. I should have told you no when you asked me to marry you. I need to find Sam. Something's wrong with Sam."

"Jennie?" Her daddy questioned.

"Jennifer, what do you mean? Should have told me no. Sam? I don't understand. Are you feeling ill? It's the stress from all this wedding planning. I told you to hire a planner. Do you need a Valium? I'm sure my father has one."

"No, yes, I mean no. I'm not ill and NO, I don't need a Valium, but I can't marry you. It wouldn't be right. I don't love you enough. You're a wonderful man who'll make someone an excellent husband someday. Now, I'm sorry if I'm hurting you but I need to go find Sam."

"Would you please stop talking about Sam and you don't mean that, Jennifer. Take my hand. Step up and say your vows. I'll help you find Sam later. We'll go together."

"No and stop calling me Jennifer. I'm Jennie and you know it. And I don't want you to help me find Sam. I want to find Sam by myself. We're done. Breaking up. The wedding's off."

Gasps and awes sounded from the guests and she turned and shrugged and waved her bouquet. "I'm sorry everyone. Show's over. Feel free to take you gifts back and of course, stay for the food."

Mama flew to her side, assuring the audience. "Don't listen to a word she's saying. She'll be fine. Let's all give her a moment to calm down. There, there, dear, your nerves are talking. Maybe Dylan's right you need a Valium."

"For the last time I do not need a Valium. I need Sam."

"Dylan, you need Dylan. Take deep breaths. Do you need a paper bag?" While Mama whispered, "People are talking dear. Pull yourself together. The show must go on, kind of thing. Remember the ice sculpture's melting as we speak, so we need to get a move on. Now you can do this. Now let's do this."

"Thanks for the pep talk, but I'm still not doing it, Mama. Now, I'm leaving to find Sam."

"But . . . but?"

Dylan's parents stood and joined the party and everyone talked at once.

"You refuse to take his hand. How dare you? You're embarrassing my son." Dylan's mother hissed at her. "You need to go on and marry him now. Oh, my God, people are recording this.

"Well I never." Dylan's father mopped his brow with a silk handkerchief.

"People! Please will everyone calm down. Jennie do you need a minute to calm down?" Granddaddy waved his hands up and down.

She scratched her arm on her bouquet as she crossed her arms in front of her chest. "No, I'm fine. I'm just not marrying him, and I've told him. Now, I'm going to find Sam."

"Have you lost your mind?" Mama paled. "He's old money. He's in a country club. He's . . ."

"Not going to be my husband. And maybe I have, but I want to know why Sam isn't here. If he approved of me marrying Dylan, he'd be here giving me his blessing. But he left my wedding, and I'm going to find him. Talk to him. I need to know. . ."

"Sam?" Dylan scoffed, standing beside her now. "Your friend from school Sam? Good lord, you're choosing him over me. For God's sake, he's a bartender."

She spun on her heel and shook her finger at him. "And a musician. He writes beautiful music and plays guitar at open mics. He has talent, lots of talent."

Dylan moved and leaned into her space, spitting the words. "Talent doesn't pay the bills. I'm a lawyer for God's sake. I can more than support you. You'll never have to work outside the house."

"I can support myself. I want to work. And don't remind me. I know you're a lawyer because you act like one. Remember, you insisted I sign a prenup. Well, I suggest you burn it since we won't be needing it anymore."

"Like he'd marry the likes of you without one," Dylan's mother interrupted.

"Mother, please stop with the social slurs. You promised to try. And if that's what your angry about, I'm sorry. I explained."

"I don't care about the prenup anymore."

Mama bristled and started using air finger quotes. "What do you mean the 'likes of you.' You're hardly 'Freaking Royalty' you know? And my daughter graduated from the same college as your son. Top of her class, too. Cords and honors, and if my daughter doesn't want to marry your son, I not only support her, I applaud her." Mama whitened, no doubt realizing what she'd just said but then she squeezed her shoulder and ordered, "Go find Sam. I'll handle this people."

It was one of the nicest things Mama had ever done and tears threatened.

Mama turned and the two women started screaming insults at each other, while Daddy said repeatedly, "Emma, now Emma. You need to calm down. Remember your blood pressure."

Turning to leave to find Sam, Dylan grabbed her arm and spun her back around. His face ugly, deadly. "You've been seeing Sam behind my back, haven't you?" Dylan's voice rose bitterly and he squeezed her arm. "You've been distant for months. You're been having an affair with Sam, haven't you?"

"NO! NEVER. I've never betrayed you. You don't understand." She jerked her arm away, and he released her but some of the flowers flew out of her bouquet and showered a few guests.

"I don't think any of us understand." Daddy shook his head solemnly .

"I don't believe you." The man she'd thought she'd once loved had murder in his eyes. She had never seen him this angry. "And you've talked about him too much the last few days. Sam's playing open mic, and Sam's moved back to this god forsaken town. That's it isn't it? You want to move back HERE?" He pointed at the ground.

"This is not about moving back here. I don't love you. I love Sam."

A collective gasp filled the air and Dylan exploded. "YOU LOVE SAM? I should have known you were doing him since you never want to have sex. Clearly you've been fucking him behind my back, haven't you? For how long?"

Her head wanted to explode as people gasped again and more than a few snickered probably because they knew Sam had 'friend zoned' her back in high school.

"How dare you? First you insult my hometown then you accuse me. And I thought I knew you? You think I cheated on you? I'm not a cheater." She waved the bouquet around and more flower's petals flew as she pointed it at him. "When I make a commitment, I keep it. Okay, except for this one. And I'm ending this before we both make a huge mistake. I'm glad I'm not marrying you since I don't know you at all."

"Well, I damn sure don't know you. I bet you've been sneaking back here to see him. When you didn't attend the Phillips party you were with him, admit it."

She shook her head and the bouquet, losing more flowers. "I was not. I was sick. Now stop making this about sex. You need to understand Sam and I are best friends. We've never even kissed. He 'friend zoned' me years ago."

"Sounds like you didn't like the 'friend zone.'" Now Dylan made finger quotes. "Look, men don't have women for best friends. It's not natural."

"It's natural for Sam."

Dylan moved with the speed of a snake and grabbed her by the arms and shook her, rattling her teeth. "Tell me the truth, NOW! How long have you been screwing around on me?"

Stronger than her, he shook her like a doll, and she fought him, pushed against him, hitting him in the face with the crushed flowers. "STOP! Let me go. You're hurting me."

Daddy and granddaddy rushed in and ripped Dylan from her, holding him back as he screamed, "And you're embarrassing me in front of all these people, in front of my friends, my associates throwing this little fit."

"Dylan, get control of yourself. Your boss is here." His mother hissed.

The man she had about to marry turned all business. "Right, of course. Let me go. I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me."

Violence radiated off Daddy as he chested Dylan. "Men don't shake women around here. Or bruise them. And I'm thinking I don't like seeing you lay your hands on my daughter, and I better never see it again or any signs of it if you get my meaning."

Granddaddy glared at Dylan too.

"Of course, I'm sorry, Jennifer. I don't know what came over me. It's probably all the allergy meds I'm on. This outdoor weather's killing me." He straightened his suit jacket and flicked off a piece of dust.

"Jennie." A large number of people corrected.

"Right. Jennie." He said her nickname like it tasted bad. "I'll forgive you if you get control of yourself and let's get this over with." He checked his watch. "We'll have to leave the reception early now to make the plane and stay on schedule."

"Stop, have you not heard a word I've said. I'm NOT MARRYING YOU, AND I'M TIRED OF YOUR SCHEDULES. And women and men can be friends and not have sex, didn't you know that?"

"Then that's your final answer?"

"Yes, and I want to add, I've never had sex with Sam."

Giggles from the guests.

"And if she doesn't want to marry you, I stand behind her decision." Daddy's tone deadly, it brooked no room for argument. "This is her future, her happily ever after, and she gets to choose who she spends it with." He glared at the crowd. "And ya'll feel free to talk about this amongst yourselves all you want because you're going to anyway."

More laughter quickly followed.

Mama glared at Daddy and he shrugged. "Well they will. Hell, they're recording it."

Granddaddy leaned in and growled, "And I don't think I'll be marrying you two anytime soon. If my grand baby doesn't want to marry you then she doesn't have too. Has anyone seen Sam? Anyone have his number? My Jennie wants a word with him. Now I always liked that boy. Good with his hands. He plays nice music."

"Can we STOP TALKING ABOUT SAM. THIS IS MY WEDDING."

"Not anymore." One of the guest quipped and more people laughed.

Dylan's face reddened. Pointing his finger, he shook it at her. "This entire shambles of a wedding is your fault. I told you we should have gotten married in the city. But no, you wanted a county wedding, out here in the sticks. With the damn magnolia's blooming." Dylan sneezed a couple of times.

"Personally, I love living in the sticks. Maybe I'll move home. What do you think about that? Would you live here, Dylan? Do you love me enough to move here?"

"I told you should have picked someone from your class, son. I told you, she's not a political man's wife. I warned you, she'd never do. Jesus, I'll be a laughing stock at the county club." Dylan's mother whined.

"Mother. You're not helping."

"Neither are you. Answer the question. Would you move here to make me happy? Would you give up the city for me?"

The man who professed he loved her swallowed hard and stared at his shoes, then lifted his head and glared at her. "No. I would not. My, I mean our lives are in the city. Now are you or you not marrying me today?"

Looking at him one last time, searching for any rush, she only found him distasteful. She shook her head. "No, I'm not. I can't. And I'm sorry I ever thought marrying you a good idea."

He shut his eyes, then opened them and held out his hand, palm up. "Fine. Then return my engagement ring, Jennifer. Since you insist you can't marry me, the ring becomes a conditional gift, since you clearly do not intend to fulfill the condition of marriage between the two parties."

She jerked his rock off. "And there's the lawyer in you. Here's your ring back. And take it. All you care about is what people think. You don't love me. You love me as your arm candy and to host your parties. I'm supposed to look pretty, talk intelligently and do your bidding. I'm sorry but I don't know what I was thinking, this is over. And frankly, I think I just dodged a bullet."

"FINE!" Dylan screamed as he took the ring and stomped away, his family bringing up the rear, complaining all the way.

Turning, she stuffed her now crushed, mangled bouquet at Mama. "Here, renew your vows or something. The ice sculpture's melting and you might as well put it to good use, since you and Daddy's already paid for it. Thank you both, by the way. And I'm sorry, if I'm disappointing you both. but I just couldn't marry him ."

Mama grayed as her Daddy grinned. "You have never disappointed us. We just want you to be happy. And speaking of happy, Emma, how about you and I get remarried? Might as well get good use of this suit."

Her Mama shrugged then attempted to smile. "What the heck. I'm all dressed up. And I haven't seen you in a suit since the last time we got married. Plus there's plenty of food and liquor."

The crowd clapped and came to their feet, and she hugged them both. "Love to stay and watch but I've got to go find Sam."

"You do that, baby girl. I always thought you two would end up together."

"Markus!"

He winked at her mama, who then took his out held hand. "Well I did and you know it. Now, Pa, you think you could start from the top?"

Smiling, she turned on her heel and hurried down the aisle as people encouraged her, "Go get him, Jennie."

"That'a girl, Jennie."

Almost running, she came to a screeching stop. "What am I thinking? I don't have my car. Dylan drove this morning." She turned and yelled, "I need a car."

More laughter but Haley, a friend from school, hurried toward her.

"Here take mine. Come on I'll show you where it's parked."

"Thanks, you're a lifesaver.

Haley threw her the keys. and they ran toward the parking lot toward a blue Chevy, as she climbed in Haley said, "Go and find him. We're all rooting for you."

She waved but her hands shook as she cranked the engine, her mind racing. Where would he go?

Okay, think like Sam.

And she put the car in gear and put her foot in it.