A/N: Ohh I miss counted... 2 more after this... can you handle it?

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, I am playing in the sandbox. ENJOY!

21

BPOV

For the first time in weeks I'm having a good day. I'm only slightly tired, only my knees hurt and only one side of my head hurts. Fan-fucking-tastic day. Seriously, I'm not kidding. This is the best I have felt in weeks.

It allows me to catch up on all my reading and get started on the labs I have missed. Being sick sucks. Being sick and not knowing why, sucks even more. Each day has been a struggle. I have lost about ten pounds and I really didn't have that much to lose in the first place.

But what is worse is jumping every time the phone rings. I'm scared to pieces when I answer, but then pissed off when it's not the clinic. They said a couple days; it has been three and still no word. I know, I could call them, but if it's bad news, I want to hold off as long as I can.

I'm looking out the window when I hear Midnight Dawn's new radio single playing. I smile as I always do when I think of Edward. I close my eyes and whisper the words to the song. Each note, each measure of music is a part of me. I know this is my song.

It's not because I have wishful thinking. Far from it. But several of the lines in the chorus were taken from the note I left him.

You are in my heart and my soul.

You are the memories I keep.

Fate found a way for our paths to cross

I will hold onto the hope that it will do so once again

I cried the first time I heard it. I didn't want to know that he missed me as much as I missed him. We had way too many months to go before he came home. Too much time in which things can change. Too much time for feelings to cool down and morph into something cooler, reserved.

That is my biggest fear. That when he comes back, he won't feel as strongly about me as he did when we parted. I know I always will. I'm irrevocably changed and it is because of Edward.

As the last notes of the song play, my phone rings and I pick it up without looking at the screen.

"Hello."

"Is this Bella Swan?"

"Yes it is," I answer, eyes still closed, still feeling Edward's music thrumming through me.

"This is Anita from Student Health Services. Dr. Markell would like you to come in to discuss your test results."

My eyes snap open and my heart beats furiously.

"S-s-sure, when," I manage to stutter out.

"Do you have time this afternoon?"

I nod and realize that she needs me to speak, "Yea, I can be there in an hour."

"That will work."

She hangs up and I realize that both my best friends are in class for the next two hours.

Shit.

An hour later I'm sitting in the doctor's office, no paper gown, no poking and prodding. Just words and phrases. Meaningless as I comprehend nothing past the first words out of her mouth. But somehow I manage to nod and respond to what she is saying even though I don't hear the words.

She hands me a card of the specialist I have an appointment with later in the week.

I stumble out to the waiting area and collapse into a chair. With shaking hands I text out words I never thought I would use.

Allie- Need you now. 911 At SHS. Please.

With that done, I give into the shock and grief of my new reality.

A/N: Song lyrics are my own... forgive me if they suck... Remember... you can make it... do you need my hand? Thoughts? I'd love to hear them!