Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Touhou characters, settings or any other original material created by ZUN or any other affiliates. All Touhou copyrights belong to their respective owners.
Ch. 22: Paru would have been jealous
"Ummm…"
"Yes, Suika-sama?"
"I uh… I don't suppose you would want to have some sake to go with that?" Ibuki Suika kindly offered some alcohol to complement Kogasa's dinner.
Tatara Kogasa nearly pierced the gourd Suika was holding out with her gaze. "No thank you, Suika-sama," she shot down the offer coldly, the revived, icily formal honorifics still in use.
"O-Okay…" Suika nervously withdrew her sake, then turned to the other three, Toramaru Shou, Hijiri Byakuren and Nazrin. "I suppose any three of you would like…?" Suika offered again, trying to re-install a casual atmosphere.
"No thanks, I'm not allowed to."
"I'm going with Shou-sama here."
"Thank you very kindly, but no thanks!" The casual atmosphere got more awkward.
"R-Right… Forgot… Religion and all that…" Suika sheepishly placed her gourd in front of her on the dining table. Boy, did it feel odd to not have alcohol during a meal… Suika absentmindedly swung her gourd by its string in front of her, tracing its movement with her eyes. Left, right, left, right, red, right, left, blue…
… Red, blue, red, blue… eh…?
It suddenly came to the attention of Suika that Kogasa had stopped eating, her own heterochromatic eyes tracing the movement of the gourd as well. Shou, Nazrin and Byakuren had taken notice too, and the former two were watching Kogasa's steely gaze a little apprehensively, while the later was simply looking on knowingly.
… K-Kogasa? W-Why was she staring like that? Wait… Byakuren had said- No… Suika mentally scratched her head. Why would anyone be jealous over a gourd anyway? Suika attempted to connect the dots. Kogasa was… Okay, she did not like to admit it, but Kogasa was all "lovely-dovely" for her, that's one. Kogasa also hated her gourd for some reason, that's two… Um… Um…
"K-Kogasa…" Suika approached tentatively.
"Yes, Suika-sama?" Kogasa addressed Suika's gourd.
"Uh… ahem," Suika, seeing Kogasa's attention was still on her gourd, swiftly hid it behind her back. Kogasa's eyes followed. "Ah… Ah, crap this isn't going to work… Would you please cut that out?" Suika said a little exasperated, as Kogasa was now staring straight through Suika's navel to the gourd behind her.
"Cut… what out, Suika-sama?" Kogasa asked, still staring at Suika's navel, placing particular emphasis on the first word.
"Argh! Stop it! That's creepy!" Suika shuddered a little at Kogasa's growing killing-intent. "F-Fine! I'll do this directly!" Suika grabbed her gourd from behind her and slammed it onto the table, right in Kogasa's face. "Look! Kogasa!" Suika pointed to her gourd. "Is there something the matter with my-"
"Ah ah ah! S-Suika-sama!" Kogasa stood up and backed off, almost as if repelled by the mere sight of some foul archenemy, her face bearing a look of absolute disdain.
Suika's jaw came ajar just a little. This was getting ridiculous. Suika knew there were plenty of people who hated her drinking habits and her associated gourd, Reimu and Parsee among them, but Kogasa was just... Seeing Kogasa like this, it was easy to believe Kogasa actually harboured some sort of personal hatred for the thing, and yet Suika remained stumped over Kogasa's illogical reaction. Byakuren… You absolutely sure "jealous" is the word? Because it absolutely...
"Just makes no sense…" Suika uttered from her mind, as Kogasa stood before her, her arms fidgeting behind her back, her eyes looking at whichever way that did not feature a gourd of sake. "H-Hey… Kogasa?" Suika stood up slowly, her arm cautiously reaching out to Kogasa. "Are you… alrigh-"
"Ah! L-Look, Suika-sama!" Kogasa suddenly turned to the window like it was the most interesting thing in the world. "I-It's drizzling! It's a… Hah! It's a light evening rain!" Kogasa happily, genuinely happily pointed out. Rainy weather always warmed her heart, and it would be the perfect distraction.
"Uh… Ah! So it is!" Suika awkwardly followed up on Kogasa, pouncing on the poorly crafted distraction. She'll sort out the issue of the gourd later.
"Shall we… take a walk?" Kogasa suggested sweetly. Stiffly. Forcibly. You-have-no-choicely. "It's always good to walk off a meal!" Kogasa smiled, a tad bit… murderously? ! Ohshi-
"Yeah… I agree, but Kogasa!" Suika was sweating profusely within. On second thought, she wanted to sort out the issue of the gourd now. As in, indoors. Here. Where there are other people…. "It's ah… It's raining!" Suika swiftly pointed out what Kogasa had pointed out. "That won't do, will it?" Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes! "Walking in such weather is, y-you know, bad for one's constitution!" Suika referred to her rock-solid Oni body.
"Then… I guess it's a good thing you have an umbrella, right?" Kogasa's smile was unfaltering. "Besides, the temperature is so nice…" Kogasa threw herself at Suika and linked arms with her. "Don't worry! Your umbrella will keep you nice and dry…" Kogasa coiled more snugly up Suika's arm, constricting it ever more strongly.
"I uh…" Suika cringed. Aaahhh! What exactly in the old hells did my gourd do to Kogasa…? ! "Can't we… put it off till later?" Suika gave one last ditch effort to stay firmly in the Myouren bunch's line-of-sight.
Kogasa stared deep and hard into Suika's soul.
"N-Nevermind, nevermind! Let's just ah… Let's just go! O-Okay?"
"Okay!" Kogasa grinned cheerfully, and started pulling Suika away from the safety of the dining room.
"R-Right… Let me just grab my gour-"
Kogasa stared deep and hard into Suika's soul.
"O-On second thought, we'll just leave it here… No good to be drink-walking right? Nyahahaha… haha… ha…" Suika nervously laughed, while Kogasa resumed her disrupted look of bliss. "Ah… Nazrin! Look after it for me, okay?"
"Come on, Suika-sama! Let's go! Let's go!" Kogasa yanked Suika towards the exit, the mood of her heart vastly improving with each step away from the dining table and the foul object sitting on it.
"We'll be back really really soon!" Suika shouted over her shoulder, a smile plastered on her face, which roughly translated to: "Please save me at the nearest damned opportunity!" And the umbrella and her captiv…ated partner were out the door, down the stairs and out towards the gardens under the weeping skies.
... Nazrin grabbed Suika's gourd and hugged it securely as if it were her own child. "Something tells me we should never leave this treasure alone with Kogasa," Nazrin said with an empty expression as she continued looking at the door the nightmarish parasol had just walked out of. Joining her in staring out the door was one Shou wearing an identical expression to Nazrin, and one Byakuren who was still managing a smile, albeit a really awkward one.
"Yeah… You would think she would use the opportunity to find a way to make the gourd come to life just so she could kill it herself…" Shou added.
"S-Shou-chan… That sort of talk is forbidden! " Byakuren nervously reproved her disciple.
"Hey, Shou-sama…"
"Yah, Nazrin?"
"Remember all those yaoi-comics we were talking about the other day?" ("…! Y-Yaoi? Nazu, Shou-chan, what are you two-")
"Yeah, I do Nazrin, why?"("Y-Yaoi! You two haven't forgotten such explicit material is forbidden, right?-")
"I was just thinking, you asked me the other day what could be worse than a Yandere, right?"
"I did, Nazu… I did…" ("H-Hey! Nazu, Shou-chan… Look at me-")
"I think I just found it."
"You mean a person who's Yandere over an inanimate object?" Shou turned to look at Nazrin. Byakuren was pouting in the background.
"Totally not worth it," Nazrin met Shou's gaze. Byakuren was pouting in the background.
"Totally not worth it," Shou nodded her agreement as she turned back towards the door the Yandere had just walked out moments ago.
"Hey! Nazrin! Shou! You two haven't explained to me about this Yaoi thing yet!"
"Eh? Uh oh…"
"It's all Shou-sama's fault! …"