Author's Note: I am terrible at short stories, apparently. Here is Part II of III. Don't ask.

Prices to Pay—PART II

There was a heavy silence, and then Hijikata pulled himself up to sit against the headboard. Chizuru took his hand, winding her fingers through his as if in defiance of whatever had happened and was happening.

"Gomenasai… I should have tried harder to tell you before. I-I'm not sure how well you were doing even before we left Hakodate."

"I thought I was fine," snapped Hijikata, trying not to interrupt and failing. "We seemed to be fine. What the—how much have you been keeping from me? Chizuru… please…" From anger to pleading—how had he come to this? He had known his fate since taking the ochimizu, but apparently the descent into madness was going to be worse for him than for the others. Maybe Kazama had cursed him. Chizuru had said that his eyes were golden at times—he wouldn't put it past that Oni bastard to have caused all this, somehow.

"I'm sorry, I'm not sure exactly when things changed—Toshi-san." Chizuru had apparently decided that a pause was preferable to 'Hiji-Toshi-san'. "And, and when I finally thought you were recovered enough to hear me out, it didn't go very well." The small hand twined around Hijikata's shook and then stilled. "But I'm going to keep trying!"

Hijikata closed his eyes, suddenly overcome by frustration. But at what? Or rather—at which problem? Also, he was starting to grow suspicious of the way that he could still hear Chizuru's heartbeat, even though they were no longer pressed together. Memories of the taste of blood resurfaced, but they weren't recent. There'd been that horrible, bloody kiss just after he'd been shot. And many months before that, one of the earliest times, during the long march north, when she had insisted that he take her blood to appease his agonizing thirst. Unwilling to abandon the last of the Shinsengumi, he'd given in.

She'd made it all so appallingly easy for him, too. He still remembered how she'd loosened her clothes and bared her neck without an instant's hesitation, smooth shoulders flawless and enticing in the weak moonlight that filtered down through the branches. He'd insisted on standing behind her, on making the cut himself… Gods, that had been a near-run thing. Only total exhaustion had kept him from taking her body along with the blood—exhaustion, and years of discipline and restraint. She hadn't realized, or at least that's what he'd always hoped.

"Toshi-san?" Chizuru's voice seemed to meld with the memories of blood and long-suppressed desire.

Hijikata's free hand clutched at the blankets as he fought tooth and nail to hold onto the reality of the present. His body was shaking with fever and lust—though of which kind was unclear—and his mind was a cacophony of fire and noise, like being at the center of an explosion. The smouldering embers of desire from just moments before blazed back into flame, and he heard himself groan aloud. Tangled memories of blood and sex rushed through his body, leaving him gasping and fully aroused, his loose kimono an irritation and his undergarment far too tight. He needed her, he wanted her, was desperate to take her now and find relief—release… His hand clenched around hers so hard that only Oni bones could have remained unbroken. He heard her cry out in pain.

"Hijikata-san, please stop! Please! Don't do this!"

How could he stop? If he stopped he might not survive. Besides, Chizuru was his. She belonged to him. She had no right to be making demands! She had always been far too stubborn—argumentative, even—to be a proper mate. Enraged, he used both hands to drag her fully against him, before taking her mouth in a savage kiss that left blood flowing from her lower lip. He automatically sucked at the blood, every sense alive with need.

At that point, Chizuru smashed her free hand into his ear, snapping his head back in shock.

"Hijikata-san—Toshi-san—stop!" The eyes that glared into his were no longer brown. Bright gold seemed to glow in the dim room, and white hair now framed a pale, not-quite-human face. White hair that didn't quite cover small silvery-white horns. "I will not let you to do this to yourself!"

The frenzy hadn't truly left him, but the shock gave him the moment of sanity he needed to shove Chizuru away and put a world-class strangle-hold on his lust (of whatever kind).

"What the fucking hell is wrong with me?!" He was shouting. It didn't seem right to shout at the woman he'd just attacked. Chizuru. He'd attacked Chizuru. And what was that crap he'd been telling himself? That reminded him way too much of that yellow-haired—oh gods, what if his curse was to become an Oni and start behaving like Kazama?! He'd rather kill himself first—honourable suicide would be an improvement over that kind of pain.

"Hijikata-san? I—I don't think that's how it works?"

Hijikata forced himself to look at Chizuru. The top of one sleeve was torn from her night-robe, and the pale collar showed a spattering of reddish stains. Whatever he'd done to her lip had healed; the bloodlust within him roared its frustration, but he told it to shut the fuck up. As for the other lust, that was still there too, somehow, but it was nothing—nothing—compared to the anger and desolation he felt over what he'd almost done. The law held that a man couldn't rape his own wife, but Hijikata was now absolutely, unshakeably certain that the law was wrong. Sweat ran down his face and drenched his clothing.

"I'm fine," Chizuru said calmly, her bright eyes fixed on his. "You didn't harm me in any significant way."

"No, you're not fine! Stop telling me you're fine—that's what you always say!" He was shouting again, he noticed. "You have horns!"

"I'm a demon." For the first time, Chizuru's steady gaze faltered. "I—I can't help it, I'm sorry."

"Gah! That's not what I meant for fuck's sake! You know what I mean—come on, don't apologize, not now, I can't take it!" And yet, bit by bit—one swear word at a time?—he was regaining control.

Godsdamned, goat-fucking, asshole doctors playing their shitty, power-hungry science games with real lives… Arrogant as Oni lords, and that's not a compliment to EITHER group!

"It saved your life though. Being a fury, I mean. Sort of. Not that I wanted you to be a fury, of course!" She was still Chizuru under the strange hair and glowing eyes. Despite everything.

"And would you stop answering things I'm not saying out loud! Is that new, or just something else I've missed over the last few months?" I'm not shouting now, but the whole raspy voice thing is just ominous.

"I'm sorry! I mean—I can't help it! You're very loud." The golden eyes blinked anxiously. "Not loud-loud, just loud-in-my-head loud."

Hijikata shifted, uncomfortable—in the stoic farmer-turned-samurai meaning of the word—almost beyond bearing in mind, body, and spirit.

"Never mind. It doesn't matter right now." He drew a deep breath—as deep as possible given that his muscles were still giving him problems. "Chizuru… I am so sorry. I hope you can tell, somehow, how sorry. And I have to know—I need to know—did this happen before? And did I… stop in time? I can't remember, but don't you dare lie to me—you're no good at lying and it will just make it worse." He gritted his teeth against a spike of pain that managed to get through the enveloping haze of self-loathing. At least the whole 'I really want to screw my wife' thing is getting the hint that NOW is NOT the right time. Ugh.

"Yes, Hijikata-san." She sounded so forlorn it made him ache to reach out and hold her—which he instantly vetoed.

"Toshi. Unless you're too freaked out." It was a risk. It could be the wrong thing to say. He didn't deserve her—but that had pretty much always been true.

Chizuru smiled, and her shoulders visibly relaxed. It was ridiculous how much she cared about him.

"Toshi-san. I wasn't sure… you might have changed your mind…"

"Chizuru, doesn't this seem like a very small thing to worry about just now? Really?" His voice was still coming out low and a little hoarse, but he sounded less like he'd just screamed his throat raw in pain. Which he hadn't, actually, as far as he could remember. For the first time, it dawned on him that he might have changed forms.

"It's very important, to me!" Chizuru had gone from anxious to stubborn. He tried to focus on the conversation, and not the havoc being wreaked within his body.

"Okay, fine. And no! Don't come any closer!"

"My blood makes it more bearable for you. And last time you didn't"—her voice suddenly dropped to a near-whisper—"you didn't force me. You tried so hard to stop, even when I was fainting." There were undertones that suggested it had been a near thing, but Hijikata didn't have the energy to spare to sort them out. And fainting? Just how bad had it been?

Chizuru hurried on, clearly trying to be encouraging—and to avoid more questions. "I wasn't properly prepared last time, that's all. So won't you please let me help now? I'm sorry I hit you. It's just that what happened before—I think that's why you've been avoiding me. Please take the blood. I'm sure it will be fine, really."

The bloodlust caught Hijikata off-guard as he tried and failed to find a moderately polite way to tell his wife that she was an idiot. A strangled cry escaped him, and he found himself shaking, on the verge of launching himself at Chizuru. Again. She'd offered, and her blood was calling to him.

"Don't… too dangerous…" It hurt, dear gods it hurt… She had to leave—Chizuru!

"I'm so sorry… please forgive me…" There's no time. With surprising speed, Chizuru pulled a small knife from one sleeve and cut open the top of her shoulder. "Drink." Even if you forget. I can't bear to lose you.

Then she was at his side, pressing his mouth to the bleeding wound. Hijikata swallowed one drop, then several more. Chizuru stroked his sweat-soaked hair, apparently content. He could feel the warmth of her arms around him, feel the pain start to fade. But… he didn't want to forget. And he didn't want to go back to some weird half-life, either. Or was that just a description of exile in northern Ezo? No—wrong time for bad jokes. He needed to focus. He wanted answers. Since when did he give up so easily?

Bit by bit, he dragged himself back from the edge of comfortable oblivion. Wasn't his style. Wasn't going to happen. Not again.

"… Baka…" He managed to pull his mouth from Chizuru's shoulder. Funny—the cut wasn't closing as fast as usual. He twisted his head away and clenched his teeth.

"You have to allow him to choose, hime-sama."

Hijikata couldn't see the speaker, couldn't even guess age, or sex. Right now it was all he could do to stay still and fight the bloodlust with every ounce of stubborn pride at his disposal. The scent of Chizuru's blood was everywhere, the taste still on his lips.

"…Don't know… who that is… but I… agree…Chizuru. I want… I need… to stop…"

There was a long silence, and he could sense Chizuru gathering her courage. She'd always had plenty of that. They'd all seen it, eventually—Sōji, and Saitō, and Harada, and Heisuke, and Sannan, and Yamazaki, and—he needed to stop. And Kondō, of course.

"Toshi-san? They all wanted you to live—they told me to look after you for them."

Hijikata frowned. Had he said all that aloud? And… what was a stranger doing in his home? More importantly, why wasn't he more concerned about it? With shocking suddenness, all the pain in his body drained away and clarity returned. He straightened cautiously, distrusting his senses. Chizuru was still in her Oni form at his side. He found it mildly disorienting: she sounded exactly the same, but her colouring was entirely different, and the horns were a definite distraction. On the other hand, her expression was drawn, but resolute; he'd seen the same look dozens of times before. As if concerned by his scrutiny, she pulled her torn and blood-stained robe more tightly around her, and sat up as straight as she could on the soft mattress. Then she sighed and turned toward the doorway, bowing politely.

"Ohayo gozaimasu, sensei."

"Ohayo gozaimasu, Yukimura-sama. Please forgive the intrusion, Hijikata-san. We've met before, but only briefly."

Hijikata finally turned his head to look at the visitor. He wasn't in any shape—mental or physical—to deal with a stranger who appeared to know his identity and the gods knew what else, but such was life. Or rather, such was his life.

"Toshi-san? This is Konkani-san. He is both a leader and a teacher among his people." Chizuru paused, as if unsure what to say next.

"Welcome to our home, Konkani-san," Hijikata said gravely, fully aware of the absurdity—to say nothing of the total impropriety—of greeting a visitor while sitting in bed wearing stained and crumpled night-wear. His hair hung in tangles around his ears and neck, and he could only hope that his face was free of blood. To his chagrin, the thought made him swallow reflexively.

Konkani gave him a sharp look and a very dry smile. His features were young and unlined, but his grey eyes were knowing, and there was a streak of white in his black hair. "A welcome is something of a change isn't it, Hijikata-san? The last I heard, you had warned your lady wife to spend less time in our company."

Hijikata found himself crossing his arms in the old way, and wished he trusted his knees enough to stand. The man was right, of course. Both accent and features—and his very full, bushy beard—identified him as one of the Ainu, a hunter-gatherer people who had inhabited Ezo long before the Japanese had first encountered them many centuries ago. Ainu legend held that they predated the 'Children of the Sun' by millennia, which wasn't a popular opinion with the Japanese government of any era. Naturally, Chizuru had become friendly with a number of local Ainu shortly after their move north.

Since coming to Ezo with the remnants of the bakufu army, Hijikata had learned something of Ainu history and culture, though strictly from a Japanese point of view. That view portrayed the Ainu as uncivilized and not to be trusted. While inclined to be suspicious of what he'd been told—governments invariably lied about such matters—Hijikata knew as a fact that there had been a bloody rebellion as little as eighty years ago. Regardless of the (probably quite understandable) reasons for the rebellion, the Ainu clearly weren't a safe people with whom to associate. On top of that, he suspected that the current government's plan to 'colonize' Ezo included the final assimilation or quiet destruction of the Ainu. That just made the potential for violence that much greater, and he wanted no part of it. Chizuru had a gift for finding trouble.

"You are no doubt aware of the reasons why I would be concerned," Hijikata said at last, feeling his way with care. He was a good judge of men, or had been, and this man was dangerous. "In any event, nothing that I've heard of your people suggests that it is customary to walk into another person's home uninvited. And the question, 'What are you doing in my house?' is absolutely secondary to questions like, 'Why are you so calm about women with golden eyes and horns?' and 'Exactly how much do you know about my situation, and how?' Which leads me to the obvious, 'Do I need to kill you now that you've seen my wife and I at less than our best?'"

"T-Toshi-san—Konkani-san—please let me explain!"

Their visitor shook his head at Chizuru. "No, princess, not this time. I'll explain. Then you and your man can discuss matters to your hearts' content." He turned back to Hijikata, who found himself repressing a growl. The guy was a know-it-all. He hated those types.

"I assure you that I have no intention of trespassing on your time and—goodwill?—any longer than necessary, Hijikata-san. I am here at your wife's request, however."

"Fine, just tell me why."

"I promise to be brief. My people have lived on Ezo since the time that the Oni walked more freely among humans. From time-to-time, part-Oni children were born to our womenfolk. For reasons that should be obvious to you, no Ainu man was allowed to take an Oni lover. Not a female one, that is."

"Go on."

"The point is that the Ainu of Ezo—or Hokkaido, if you prefer"—Konkani's thin smile suggested that he knew very well otherwise—"know quite a bit about Oni and part-Oni. Even though there haven't been Oni seen in Ezo for quite a long time. Part-Oni Ainu generally have a number of advantages over those with little or no Oni blood."

"And naturally, you come from a distinguished line of part-Oni," murmured Hijikata, allowing his 'talking to knowledgeable assholes that I'm not allowed to insult or shout at' face to slide into place. It had become all but permanent during Itō's tenure with the Shinsengumi. "Do continue."

"In a moment," interjected Chizuru, with more haste than dignity. She'd probably recognized his expression. She glanced at him, and then smiled sweetly at their guest. "Konkani-san, you have verified that Hijikata-san is no danger to me at present. Therefore, I would appreciate being able to dress and tidy myself. Please wait for us in the next room?"

Konkani hesitated, but he had no reasonable excuse to stay. He bowed to Chizuru, nodded to Hijikata, and withdrew from the room. Chizuru turned immediately to Hijikata.

"I'm sorry, Toshi-san. I've truly never seen him behave like that before!" She looked genuinely upset on Hijikata's behalf. "He cares deeply about his people, believe it or not, and they ask an awful lot of him."

Hijikata sighed. It felt very natural, and he wished very much that he could rewind the last year—or at least the morning. "He probably thinks he's in love with you."

Chizuru ducked her head slightly, but then forced her eyes back up to his and softly touched his cheek. She smiled, and it finally dawned on him that she was really rather beautiful in this form. He pressed a fleeting kiss to her forehead and hurriedly stood up, making it halfway to the wardrobe before realizing that he felt tired, but far less stretched out and insubstantial than he had just this morning. Maybe he should let Chizuru smack him on the ear more often.

Or maybe he should just ask the question he'd been avoiding for the past several minutes. The Vice Commander of the Shinsengumi—or hell, even Mister Nobody-in-Particular of the Ass-End-of-Nowhere—should have the guts to face facts… so to speak.

"Chizuru, was I—am I—a fury? Usually I know, but this time I have no idea." He turned to face her.

"No, Toshi-san. You are not a fury—at least, not any longer."

"Your face has a very complicated look, Chizuru."

"Well… you see…"

"And now you sound like Heisuke after he's broken something. Ah no—I shouldn't say that." They were all gone. How had he forgotten, even for a minute?

Chizuru came over to stand beside him. Oni or not, she really was too thin.

"Heisuke-kun was a kind man. And he has us to remember him." Despite the small tremble in her voice, Chizuru projected reassurance. "You just haven't had enough time to deal with it all."

"The picnic in the spring under the cherry blossom trees was nice." Hijikata tried to smile at her and found he couldn't. "Men—soldiers—die in war. That's how it goes."

"Heisuke-kun died as a fury, fighting other furies. He was there for you—and for me—because he wanted to find a way for his life to have meaning." Chizuru swallowed and blinked back tears, but this time her voice was firm. "He wanted you to be proud of him, and you were. And Sannan-san… he did everything to make you hate him and fear him, but in the end, you refused to believe he'd betrayed the Shinsengumi—"

"It was a possibility—"

"But you asked him what he was doing, you didn't just accept it like the rest of us."

"And he lived his final days in pain and died a fury!"

"Īe. He died knowing that you had survived thanks to his efforts. He was able to prove to you, and himself, that he had as much courage as anyone. It mattered to him, Hijikata-san."

"Chizuru, I don't—you've obviously thought a lot about this, but—"

"The problem is that you aren't like all the other men who survived the war, Hijikata-san."

"Toshi. It's not that bad a name."

"Sumimasen. It's just… you've always been Hijikata-san. And you still won't listen."

Hijikata sighed. He closed his eyes and tried to quell his ridiculous apprehension. "…Fine. I mean, you're right. But it feels wrong to be talking about these things dressed like this." He heard the contempt in his voice and suddenly chuckled, which startled them both. "I sound like such a pretty-boy lordling, don't I? When at the end of it all I'm back to being a very reluctant farmer."

"I've been telling everyone you're a poet," mumbled Chizuru, with some embarrassment.

"You what?! Good grief! No wonder they wouldn't listen when I pointed out that it was too cold up here to be really successful for rice!" Mechanically, he added, "Morons."

"Well, it explained why you were so good at letters and, and government forms, you know? I didn't do too badly, selling your services as a scribe."

"A lot of farmers are perfectly capable of writing well! Not all, but it wasn't that big a stretch!"

Pushed to her last line of defence, Chizuru blurted out, "But I had to explain the drinking!"

There was a very long silence after that, followed by the sound of Hijikata's uncontrolled laughter. That in turn was followed by a polite knock beside the heavy curtain that separated their bedroom from the main room of the house.

"Sumimasen. My lady? Are you alright?"

"Y-yes, yes I'm fine, Konkani-san. We'll be right there, I promise."

Just a few moments later, Chizuru hurried out to look after her visitor. There hadn't been time to do much more than wash her face and body as quickly as possible—and in cold water—but at least she now wore a proper kimono and obi.

She fussed over making tea, to give Hijikata time to change more slowly. He was trying to come to terms with the reality of white hair and deep golden eyes. And horns. Fortunately, he was also distracted by the fact that she'd told people he had a drinking problem, to cover up for why he rarely (i.e., never) offered his services as a scribe in person, and why he was occasionally 'ill'. Hijikata had told her roundly that she made up the worst stories that he'd ever heard, and asked why she had turned him into a drunken poet, instead of a reclusive farmer with occasional health issues.

Privately, she rather liked the drunken poet idea, and suspected that Hijikata did as well. What hadn't been at all funny had been watching him gradually realize just how many things he had somehow forgotten over the past year. Faced with his obviously genuine sense of betrayal that she'd kept so much from him, Chizuru had chosen to tell him the painful truth: she had told him more or less everything, but he was suffering from significant and increasing memory loss.

She truly wished, for once, that Konkani-san hadn't been keeping an eye on things, so that she could have taken the time to explain things slowly and carefully to Hijikata, and in the proper order. The Ainu man had saved both their lives, and had been invaluable to her over the past year in several ways. His respect, and the occasional visits from the women of his clan, had been a true blessing. It was probably her own fault that she hadn't noticed his increasingly proprietorial air. She supposed that he had assumed—as she had, for quite some time—that Hijikata Toshizō was dying. No wonder he'd been so unhappy with her continued attempts to keep her husband alive at the risk of her own life.

These thoughts vanished completely from her mind when Hijikata stepped into the room not long after. He'd made the best of his time, and his dark purple kimono and elegantly tied obi were in direct contrast to his earlier, slovenly appearance. There was also no denying that he was an Oni in full command of his faculties, at least at the moment. He stood for a moment in the doorway, brilliant eyes adjusting to the greater light, one lean, long-fingered hand holding the tapestry-curtain behind and above him. Chizuru barely prevented herself from spilling her tea onto the floor, as pure desire flooded her senses and left her with a burning need to abandon her visitor to his own devices, and drag her husband back to bed for a more productive exploration of conjugal interests and too-long deferred physical release.

[END of PART II]

A/Note: Stay tuned for Part III: More Answers, and Conjugal Interests