Why hallo there XD.. I know I haven't updated in ages, but I've had several half-finished idea's floating around, and I decided to actually finish some of them and put them up. I have got to admit, this was mainly because Megan has now put up many truly spectacular oneshots, and I feel like I should stop being so lazy and put some up of my own XD. This is one that's been floating around for at least 6 months XD. And it's the first Mia oneshot! Yay! Here goes!

It's set in the original RP; Zeb is Megan's, Blaze is Anni's and Lucyna is Puppy's. x

Mia

The Worst Nightmare

Ever since I can remember I've had nightmares.

A good dream is a rare occurrence; a treat. Warm and fluffy and comforting like candyfloss. The rest of the time I wake screaming, drenched in sweat and shaking from the demons which lurk, waiting to pull me under as soon as I close my eyes. They didn't know what to do with me at the home. They tried everything, from cuddles to shouting, feeding me certain things before bedtime to not feeding me at all. They took me to the doctor, but he said I was too young for drugs, and told them I'd grow out of it. I didn't.

They gave up on me eventually, and stuck me in a room by myself, as far away from the other kids as possible. The nightmares continued even when I left the home. My new parents were kinder though; they'd sit up with me, make me hot drinks, hold me until I calmed down. I learnt to stop myself disturbing them after Benny was born. I'd wake with my hands bleeding from where I'd bit down on them to stop myself screaming. Eventually I simply wouldn't go to sleep. I'd drink coffee and stay up reading until the darkness was penetrated by the sunlight creeping over the windowsill. I'd fall asleep at my desk at school, but the sleep would be dreamless, empty. The nightmares couldn't reach me then.

After my parents died, the nightmares became unbearable. I wouldn't wake straight away now; I'd be trapped, screaming, stuck halfway between sleep and awareness. When I finally woke, my throat would be hoarse, tears streaming down my face, my sheets soaked in sweat and sometimes splattered with blood from where I'd bitten my tongue so hard that it had bled down my chin. My roommate didn't notice; she was a heavy sleeper anyway, and she had taken to wearing earplugs sleeping with me.

He makes them better though.

After the FAYZ began, and Zeb Cray was bought into my life, I thought they'd improved. He holds me in his arms every night, whispering that he loves me and that everything is going to be okay, and for a while I believed it was going to be. The problem is that when you have people you love, you can't bear the thought of losing them.

The dreams changed.

Now instead of the nameless monsters, a new terror awaits me. Night after night they come to me, screaming, crying, dying, their bodies bleeding and broken, calling out for me to help them, save them, hold them…

One night it will be Blaze, reaching out his arms to me, blood dripping from a gaping wound in his chest, staring at me helplessly with his sightless gaze. Or worse, rejecting me, telling me he doesn't need me, didn't want me, that he doesn't want me screwing up his life more than I have already.

Other nights it will be Lucyna, my best friend, turning her back on me, calling me a whore, hating me for leading on her brother, for taking his energy. She comes at me, knife in her hand, a manic smile on her face, or I'll see her on the ground again, writhing and screaming in pain, begging me to help her, whilst I stand there, frozen.

Sometimes I dream of her. That faceless figure, that omnipresent shadow on the edges of my life. The woman who left me on a cold, hard doorstep and never looked back. She tells me she left me because she hated me, because she saw what I would become, a monster ripping the life out of others, a heartless, selfish parasite feeding off of the rest if the world.

But the most awful dreams are about him.

I stand there, locked inside myself helplessly watching him die. There is a dark figure who tortures him, doing unspeakable things until the blood is pooling on the ground underneath him and all I can hear are the sounds of his screams. The tears are hot on my cheeks and I can feel myself sobbing, begging, screaming at the figure to stop, but they continue until he falls still and I can see that his beautiful blue eyes are empty, lifeless and staring straight at me. And then the figure turns, walking towards me, and I scream again, knowing they're going to start on me, they're going to hurt me…but they halt right in front of me and I suddenly recognise them. We stare at each other, eyes wide, her dark green eyes meeting mine, her face smeared with blood. I touch my own cheek and find it sticky and wet; redness glitters on my fingers, and I realise that I'm staring in a mirror. That's when I scream myself awake and he's there alive, alive and solid and real and he's holding me and everything's alright, that's what he's whispering, that everything's alright.

But I know it's not.

I dream of many things, of many people, many unspeakable things. But out of all my dreams there's one nightmare that's the worst.

My worst nightmare is myself.