A/N: Ok..ok.. ok.. here is Edward... and yes.. there will be a HEA... can ya hold on? We can do this! LOVE TO YOU ALL!
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, SM does, I am playing in the sandbox! ENJOY!
30
EPOV
In a daze I watch as Alice wheels Bella away. I can clearly see the tears as they stream down her face and my heart lurches.
Why is she crying? Is she in pain? Does she hate me for not contacting her while I was gone?
But bigger questions are; What's wrong with Bella? How long has she been ill? Is she going to be alright?
But like the idiot that I am, I just stared at her. When she spoke I just stopped and looked at her.
The images of her tears, the pain on her face and the shock at seeing me play in a never ending loop in my head. I stagger to the nearest bench and plop down. My head rests in my hands. My head is a swirling mass of confusion, pain, fear and longing.
This is all too fucking much for me to process.
I am not sure how long I had been sitting, before Emmett found me.
"Edward, are you okay?"
I look up at him and shake my head. "No, not in the least. I saw Bella." I hear a low gasp from him, but I forge ahead. "She is a patient here, Em. She is getting chemo, I think."
His heavy frame sits next to me, "Wow, holy shit. Did you talk to her? Find out what's going on?"
I start to shake my head before he finishes talking.
"No. Like an ass I just stared at her." I hear Emmett snort beside me. "I was just soo floored to be seeing her and then to see her looking so…so… unlike Bella. I was stunned." I stare at the ground below me. "You should have seen her, Em," I whisper. "She looked so small, so frail. She had lost all her hair; she looked as if she'd lost at least twenty pounds. She was pale and sallow."
I look up at him and I am sure my face expressed the torturous feelings raging inside me.
"I just come from being at Lizzie's brick and with all the thoughts of her and what we went through fresh in my mind, I just fucking froze."
I snort in disgust, "You should have seen her, she practically begged Alice to get her away from me." I hang my head in shame.
I feel his hand on my back.
"Well, you did say you froze. Maybe she's worried that you don't want anything to do with her now that she is sick."
My head snaps up to look at him. He gives me a small shrug.
Is that what she is thinking?
"Maybe you need try and talk to her."
All I could do is stare, dumfounded, at him. When he sees that I'm not going to reply, he claps me on my back again.
"Let's go, Mom and Dad was looking for you. Got to wrap this little party up."
I give him a shaky nod and silently follow him back up to Lizzie's room with a mind full of Bella.
A/N: See... he's beating himself up... ok.. see ya in later... till them.. how are we all doing?/ Hangingin there? Thoughts?