I wish I owned Jonathan Crane, but I don't. Still, it would be awesome if I did.
Oh my god, I FINALLY updated! The world as we know it is about to end . . . . .
Okay, on with the story!
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For the next week, Edward Nygma and Jervis Tech took every opportunity to tease their fellow inmate about his little crush. They were in the cafeteria when he looked over at her for the third time that day. Jervis giggled as Edward began taunting him.
"Jonathan and Becca, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g."
"Can it, Nygma."
"First comes love, then comes marriage,"
"If you don't shut up, I'm going to hurt you."
"Then comes baby in a baby carriage."
"That's it!" He gave Edward a swift kick under the table.
"OW! You bastard, you kicked me!"
"Well, you wouldn't shut up; I don't want anyone hearing you, especially not Bec-"
"Hey guys."
Edward started laughing. Jervis smiled at Becca. "Hello, my dear. What brings you over here?"
"Huh? Oh, right. I came over here to see if one of you has seen Angie's nail file; she can't find it and she didn't want to come over and ask herself, so she sent me to do it. Um, is he gonna be okay?" She pointed to Edward, looking a little worried.
"Yes, he's just recalling something funny we heard a week ago." His grin turned on Jonathan, who turned red and put his face in his hands.
"I see . . . and he's still laughing a week later?" He nodded.
She whistled. "Wow, must've been pretty funny. Anyway, have any of you seen her nail file?"
"Well, I haven't seen it. Edward hasn't seen it, either. Jonathan, have you seen it?"
Jonathan simply shook his head 'no.'
Becca sighed. "Well, thanks anyway. Someone probably took it away from her so she wouldn't go after someone with it. Hmm, I wonder if stabbing someone with a nail file would kill them." She walked off. Jervis grinned at Jonathan.
"I can see why you like her."
"Jervis?"
"Yes?"
"Shut up."
--
Becca sat back down next to Angie. "They haven't seen it, but apparently Eddie finds something to be really funny."
"Really? What?"
"I have no idea, but whatever it was, he's been laughing for a week."
Poison Ivy, who had begun sitting with them the second week, shook her head. "I hope he knows he looks completely insane."
"I doubt it," giggled Harley. "He'd be laughing too hard to notice how psycho he looks. Ya know, Mistah J. always says laughter is the best medicine."
"Harley, Joker thinks someone getting stabbed in the forehead with a pencil is funny. That man will be laughing on his deathbed." said Angie.
"Well," said Becca, "it would be funny to see someone die that way."
"Becca, you are sick in the head, do you know that?"
"Of course I do, that's why I'm in here. God, it's been two weeks and I am so bored in here! I'm actually looking forward to our first group therapy session!"
"Oh yeah, you guys are gonna be talkin' with the doc with us this afternoon, huh?"
"Do you know who's in the session?" asked Angie.
"Sure I do! Let's see, there's me, Red, Mistah J, Edward, Jervis, an' Professor Crane."
"Professor?"
"Yeah, he was a psychology professor before he was canned and thrown in here."
Becca whistled. "Wow, talk about a career change; from teacher to nut job."
Later that afternoon, Becca and Angie went to their first group therapy session. They were all seated on one big couch that went in a semicircle. Harley was seated in Joker's lap with Ivy next to them looking thoroughly disgusted. Jervis and Edward were by Crane, and so were Becca and Angie. Dr Leland came in and seated herself in front of the couch. She looked at Becca.
"Ms. Thompson, please take off your headphones."
Becca was listening to her Ipod, and everyone could hear Animal I Have Become blaring though the headphones. Dr. Leland tried again.
"Ms. Thompson!"
"Becca," Angie nudged her friend. Becca jerked away from Angie in surprise.
"Jesus, are you trying to give me a heart attack?" she wheezed.
"No, but if you have those any louder, you'll go deaf. Dr. Leland's here."
"Oh, okay. Sorry doc." She turned her music off. "Okay, commence with the therapy, although I doubt it'll do these guys any good."
"Alright, well I was thinking you two could introduce yourselves to the group."
Becca blinked. "Oh, okay." She stood up. "Hi, I'm Rebecca Thompson, but you can call me Becca, and I am in Arkham Asylum because I hit Batman in the back of the head with a baseball bat and possibly gave him a concussion, which is totally awesome. Okay, your turn Angie."
She sat down as Angie stood up. "Um, I'm Angela Nightingale, or Angie, and I'm here because I was forced to. I'm only here because of her." She pointed at Becca, who grinned.
Joker took this opportunity to say "I knew there was a reason I didn't like you." Harley crossed her arms. "Well, I like both of them!"
At that remark, he shoved her off his lap, and she landed on the floor. Grumbling to herself, she seated herself next to Ivy, who rolled her eyes. Dr. Leland cleared her throat.
"Well, let's start with you, Rebecca. Why did you hit Batman?"
Becca shrugged. "I was passing the alley he was in, I had a metal bat, and handsome over here looked like he could use some help," she said while pointing to Crane.
"Handsome?" Edward snickered. "Jesus, have you looked at this guy? There's nothing handsome about him!"
"Although I'm sure he's flattered," Jervis giggled.
Jonathan gave them both seething glares. "Will you two knock it off? I've had to listen to you two all week, and I am this close with giving you a concentrated dose of fear toxin!"
"Professor Crane, why does this bother you?"
"It doesn't, I'm just sick of these two always taunting me about-" he quickly snapped his mouth shut.
"About what? What can these two say to the "Master of Fear" that would possibly provoke him?" Joker asked while grinning. "Don't tell me you're hiding something from the rest of us. I can't believe you, keeping secrets from your friends."
"We are not friends and I am not hiding anything!"
"Don't be too sure, Johnny boy. You're not telling us something; spill! And don't leave out any details, either."
"Joker?"
"Yeeees?"
"Shut up or I'll make you shut up."
"Oooh, The Scarecrow is going to get me! I'm sooooo scared!"
Dr. Leland interrupted them. "Okay, that's enough! Angela, if you didn't want to, then why did you follow your friend into the alley?"
Angie glanced around the room. "Well, Becca is my best friend, and wherever she goes, I go."
"Aw, that's so sweet!" said Harley. Joker put a finger down his throat and made a gagging nose. Ivy rolled her eyes, but said "For once, I agree with Joker."
Everyone except Becca and Angie gasped. Ivy glared. "Oh, shut up."
"Pam agrees with Joker? The world as we know it is officially over."
"Shut it, Nygma."
"I've been telling him the same thing all week," Crane mumbled, which was a mistake, because that brought the conversation back to him and what he was hiding. The session ended when he tackled Edward to the floor and nearly choked him to death. It took four guards to pry him off of Riddler. He spent a week in solitary confinement.
A/N: Group sessions are fun to write. Review or I'll sic my friend's evil pink monkeys on you.