A/N: 2 0f 6... let's see how Bella is doing today. Like Edward said in the last chapter, the type of luekemia that Bella has is one of the most cureable ones to have... sooo.. see... I gave you aHEA clue there!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, SM does, I am playing in the sandbox! ENJOY!

41

BPOV

I watch Alice as she describes in detail her date with Jasper. Her eyes light up with an excitement I haven't seen in a long time. She is laughing, smiling and looks genuinely happy.

"Oh, Bella, the way that he talks, in that slow sexy drawl," she pauses as a shiver runs down her body, "it's just too fucking sexy." She plops down on the bed we're sitting on.

"He is absolutely perfect, Bella. Sweet, kind, charming, sexy, he's just…ungh!" She giggles when I give her a look to say 'where-is-my friend-Alice'.

"So I take it that the night was a raging success then?" She rolls her eyes at my less than wanted sarcasm. "Do you have plans to see him again?"

I stuff down a small flicker of jealousy. It is so easy for her to be with Jasper, to explore their blossoming romance. For the first time I really curse my illness for all the possibilities it is robbing me of with Edward.

"Yes. He said he'll call tomorrow to make some plans for later in the week. I can't wait!" she squeals as she kicks her feet on the bed in giddiness.

"Edward stopped by," I blurt and then blush.

Alice pops up, "What did you say?"

"Edward stopped by last night, to see me," I mumble.

Alice's eyes grow wide, "Tell me everything! Does he know?"

I nod my head. "I told him." I go on to explain how I told him the whole story and then about his pledge to be there for me.

When I'm done, I bite my lip, waiting to see her reaction.

"Oh, Bella! This is perfect. You two are meant for each other." She gives a dreamy dramatic sigh.

"But, Alice…it's not right. There is no reason for him to want to help me." I close my eyes against the sudden wave of pain. "I feel like I'm holding him back, taking care of me. This is no way to be in a relationship." I clench my eyes tighter to keep the sudden rush of tears that spring into my eyes.

"Oh, Bella," replies Alice, "you can't think like that. You two have a connection that is rare, special. You need to hold onto that with both hands."

I open my mouth to protest, but Alice places her fingers on my mouth, "Bella, you must believe that you are going to beat this. You have a doctor appointment soon. There you will find out that you getting better. So you hold onto him."

I nod my head in agreement although my heart isn't in it. How can it when there is so much that could go wrong. He could decide that it's too much to take care of me and leave. Or if I beat this, what if I'm infertile? He deserves a whole woman, not one broken and scarred.

But that isn't the worst of my fears. No, the worst is that I will die and leave him behind. That he will have wasted his time with me when he could have been with the woman he is meant to be with. How can I take that away from him?

"But, Alice," I protest, my fears unable to stay silent any longer. "What if…how can I…it's just not fair…"I trail off, the words that I want to say are stuck in my throat. I let the tears fall.

"What if I die," I finally mange to whisper, "I just can't do that to him."

With that off my chest, I collapse into Alice's waiting arms.

A/N: Sooo mahy of my wonderful readers guessed that was Bella's fear. It makes sense. Thank you to all who are sharing their personal stories with cancer, I am overwhelmed that you would share such a personal and sometimes tragic story with me. Although I have no personal stories with cancer. So, when this idea came into my head, I really wanted to explore an intimate relationship with two people that have to deal with real problems. So this is their emotional journey. THANK YOU!