Chapter 13: The Most Difficult of Choices

~Edward~

With Carlisle and Esme back at home, it was becoming harder not to join my brothers and sisters in South America. They hadn't had any more contact with Lily or her children, and had come upon a recently abandoned village deep in the forests south of Belize. What that told me is that lily and her people had grown afraid and had run, but from them or from something else there wasn't a way to be sure, not unless I was there. My soul reason for not going was Renesmee and as she sat on my lap dressed for bed, her hair freshly washed, I considered what it would do to her if Bella and I left. It was difficult enough having her Aunts and Uncles gone, but if Bella and I were to leave I wasn't sure how she would handle that or how my parents would take care of things. All of these things were swimming through my head as I finished the last page of one of her favorite stories, Goodnight Moon. She liked longer books like the Velveteen Rabbit, but this one, given to her by Charlie, had become a recent favorite. As I read the last word she shut the book before opening it back to the first page, "Again," Renesmee said as a yawn escaped before she could cover her mouth.

When I didn't answer her right away, Renesmee tilted her head back looking up at me, ready for me to comply with her demand. I smiled down at her leaning down far enough to kiss her forehead. "Right now it's time for you to go to sleep."

At that my daughter's brow furrowed, "Not tired. I like my story. Hear again," she said as she looked back down at the book we both held. Deciding that Renesmee had endured enough upset over the past month I held the book up and began from the first page. My baby relaxed against me not worried that I was going to leave her, not realizing that eventually her mother and I would likely have to for a while, if only to find answers to protect both Renesmee and Anthony.

~*~

Downstairs my wife greeted me, wrapping her arms around me as Esme smiled over at us before going in back of the house to be with Carlisle. "We have to go to South America," I stated.

"I don't think there is a choice in the matter. We have to find this Lily and maybe try and find the vampire who did that to her. I keep wondering if it already isn't too late," Bella whispered rubbing her cheek against my chest as I cupped my hand against the back of her head.

"There are too many things going on not to try and find out," I agreed doing my best not to think about Renesmee. Anthony would likely be upset when she was, but wouldn't understand things the way his big sister did.

"I wish we could take our babies, or just Renesmee," Bella whispered as she lifted her head away from me gazing up into my eyes. Her eyes were not as red as before and in another few months they would turn amber in color before finally becoming like my own.

"The risk is too great," I answered trailing the backs of my fingers from her jaw up her cheek, loving the soft growl I heard. In the next moment she was caught up in my arms as I ran soundlessly from the house, needing this time when it was just the two of us, when our babies were asleep safe with Carlisle and Esme.

When I came to a stop across the river in a small clearing, Bella already had my shirt undone and was trailing her fingers over my chest. We looked at one another before I set her on her feet and in another second I was on my back watching as my wife stood over me slowly undoing her clothes. Bella was getting better about controlling herself, though this wasn't the time I worried about her being in control. By the time her clothes were off my slacks were much tighter in front, and when Bella knelt beside me tracing one finger from my navel downward, I growled shutting my eyes only wanting to feel her touch without seeing what she was about to do.

~Bella~

A month of practice had taught me how to be careful of my strength and build on his arousal. I honestly wasn't sure how he could just lie against the mossy covering of ground while I slid my hands underneath his slacks. My hands moved against his hips and lower, wanting to draw things out even though I knew it was a losing battle. My body was already responding in all the familiar ways and when I took in a deep breath I could smell his arousal. In the next few seconds his trousers were down along with his boxers and my body rested against his as I pushed down taking him inside me. When there was no more room to move I glanced at him finding his golden eyes watching me. I reached out as he sat up just a little and cupped my hands around his face kissing him as I pulled myself a little away from him while clinching around his solid length.

Edward's breath caught before he growled and his hands grasped at my hips helping me move faster against him. There was nothing but the two of us here now and I wanted this to last even though I knew it couldn't. Suddenly I was on my back and somewhere along the way Edward had gotten rid of the last vestiges of clothing. He pulled out of me as I growled in protest, but it was only to get a better position as he lifted my legs, setting my feet against his shoulders before he grasped his length guiding it back to me. His movements were slow as he pushed all the way in to me remaining there only for a second before he pulled almost all the way back out.

"Don't stop," I breathed still not wanting to miss anything from how he felt sliding inside of me to the smell that was his arousal mixed with mine. When he reached out and began fondling my breasts I couldn't hold back biting back a scream as my body began contracting around him. Edward moved back over me, and I thrust upward as he drove into me over and over until he completed within me.

After a minute or a few I opened my eyes lifting my head away from his chest. "I'm not sure I'm ever going to get used to this. I know we don't need to rest after, and that we could go on and on but it feels strange to me not to need to do that," I said trying to explain things as he ran his hands over my back.

"It is something you will adjust too, and it does take time, but I like this time we spend after making love. I enjoy holding you in my arms knowing that you are safe."

"Do you miss my heart beat?" I asked as I rested my head against his muscled chest, sighing as he began to speak.

"Sometimes, but there are more advantages to having you this way," he answered.

When I lifted my head again he leaned up and kissed me, molding his lips against mine and showing an aggression he never could when I was still human.

~*~

Once we had dressed and hunted we made our way back to the house, both quite in our own thoughts. Edward was holding my hand as he always did when we walked and I didn't want to go home and face all the problems we had to deal with. "When should we make travel plans?"

"I'm going on line when we get back. We need to go on and do this now. There is just too much at stake to wait," Edward answered, squeezing my hand as we arrived at the river. We jumped over still holding hands and inside I could hear Anthony gurgling as Esme sang softly to him. "I'm glad he loves being with your mother," I whispered while listening to my daughter's steady breathing. Anthony would do fine with us gone, but Renesmee was the one who worried me.

"He's much happier when things aren't chaotic," my husband agreed. When he opened the door Esme was waiting and when Anthony saw us he smiled reaching out for me.

"Thank you Esme," I said as Edward headed for the back of the house.

"You don't need to thank me," she answered. Anthony turned smiling at her as she leaned in and kissed one of his cheeks. Once she had I went to the kitchen and made him a bottle before heading upstairs to the room we shared with him. Anthony was a restless sleeper and made enough noise at night to disturb his sister. For that reason they needed separate rooms and he was staying in our room for the time being.

After he began to drink his bottle, Anthony shut his eyes snuggling in against my chest as I leaned back against the pillows on the big bed. "Momma doesn't want to leave you or your sister," I whispered stroking my fingers through his soft brown hair. It was getting thicker and was turning more the color of mine when I was human. While I sat holding my son in my arms, I began to wonder how long Edward and I would be away, and what we would find once we started looking. Anthony whimpered and I made myself relax, forgetting how sensitive he was to emotions. Before my son even finished his bottle he had fallen asleep, and after putting it aside I settled him against my shoulder rubbing his back until he burped.

At the crib I watched my baby sleeping aware that Edward was on his way. It was hard to believe that Anthony was already three months old. I sighed leaning against Edward as he wrapped his arms around me from behind. "How do we leave them?" I asked, feeling the need to protect my babies.

"We do so in hope to find some answers and make their world safer," Edward murmured brushing the hair away from the left side of my neck, placing a kiss against the exposed skin. We stood there a while longer watching Anthony sleep before going down the hall to Renesmee's room. She was curled into a ball with all the blankets kicked off sleeping peacefully as she should be. Edward moved away from me picking the blankets up from the floor, folding them before putting them at the end of the bed. He saved a lighter blanket and draped it over her kissing her soft cheek before coming back to my side. After I gave Renesmee a kiss we headed downstairs to make the needed plans for travel and call Alice.

~Edward~

With years of making plans on the fly, getting tickets for Brazil wasn't difficult nor was packing our things without Renesmee knowing anything more. The time had come to sit down with her and tell her we were going away for a while, and I half considered not saying a word. My daughter was smart beyond her years and that would never work. Even as I carried her down the the river she knew something was going on, and clung to me, pressing her small left hand against the back of my head while her other arm was draped loosely over my shoulder.

When we got to the river I sat down on a small boulder and shifted Renesmee to sit sideways on my lap. For a few minutes we were both quiet as we watched the water rushing by, or looked at some small animal scurrying away from the other bank.

"You going leave?" Renesmee asked breaking the silence.

I looked down at her seeing the sadness in her eyes. "Only for a short time. Nanna has a way to help you count the days until Momma and I come home," I said not sure she would understand so much.

"I want go too," Renesmee replied, watching me expectantly.

"Where Momma and are going is not someplace we can take you or Anthony," I began, but her head was already shaking.

"Bad happen."

"Pop and Nanna will keep you safe as will Grandpa Charlie."

"No," she whispered pressing her face against my blue button down shirt.

Wanting to get her mind off of this I stood, leaping easily across the river to the other side as I lifted her to my back. Once I was running Renesmee calmed down and was quiet as I sought out a deer, finding a small one that was easy to bring down. My daughter held on without falling and when I brought the deer down she slid from my back standing close by as I quickly snapped its neck.

My part was done and Renesmee knelt beside it's neck biting down without me having to show her where. As she fed I rubbed her back hoping that this leave wouldn't be to hard on her. Carlisle and Esme both suggested a trip to the Island so we could see her more often, and as nice as that sounded I knew we couldn't.

"All done," Renesmee whispered.

I lifted the deer into my arms and finished it off before going to a clearing and making a small fire, burning it's remains. While I did Renesmee twirled around watching as her long pink skirt spun out from her small frame. When the fire was done she was on my back once more, and we made it home in record time.

"Nanna, I hunt with Daddy," Renesmee said the moment Esme greeted us.

My mother got her distracted and I went upstairs finding Bella in our room looking out the window, "She was so sad a minute ago," Bella said turning around.

In a moments time she was in my arms, "I think she will be fine once we are gone. Esme and Carlisle have things planned for her and you said Charlie is going to try and get over to see her as much as he can." My wife nodded. Once we were both a little more composed we got a few odds and ends gathered up before heading back downstairs. Our flight would leave in three hours and we would need to be on the road in one.

"Momma, Daddy, make picture with me," Renesmee said from the dining room.

Bella took my hand and we joined our daughter at the table. I lifted Renesmee from her chair and sat down putting her on my lap as Bella pulled another chair beside us. The picture she was making with her Lightbrite was eventually going to be an elephant, and Renesmee was using mostly blue for it's body though she had some pink pegs out and ready as well.

"What are these for?" Bella asked holding one of the pink pegs up.

"Inside ear, like in my book," Renesmee answered as she handed me a blue one. I put it where she pointed and after I did she gave one to Bella, content to let us follow her commands until she heard Anthony fussing from the other room. Renesmee wanted down and once she was she ran out. We followed, finding her already on the blanket next to him as Esme finished changing Anthony's diaper. "You not cry now, I play with you." Renesmee put a soft rattle in his hand and Anthony gurgled at her making her giggle before she kissed his head.

With our daughter happy to play with our son, Bella and I got those last minute things into the car without Renesmee knowing. We were driving ourselves to the airport and still having a little time on our hands we got the kids in their jackets and took a walk down the driveway.

"Momma, Anthony like me be his big sister," Renesmee said as she ran a little ahead of us while I carried Anthony.

"You take good care of him," Bella replied as Renesmee turned and ran into her arms.

"Nanna say we can watch a movie, and I want to see Charlotte and Wilbur."

"You do? You just saw that a few nights ago," Bella reminded.

"Me like that one," Renesmee said before she laughed while Bella nibbled at her neck. Midway back, Renesmee wanted me to hold her so Bella and I switched babies. "Daddy, you watch it with me?"

"I will, when Momma and I come back."

Renesmee leaned out looking right into my eyes as her lips drew down, "Don't want you go away."

I hugged her close kissing her head as she sniffed. "We are going to call you everyday," I assured knowing that wasn't much for her.

"Want to go too," Renesmee whispered sadly.

It was times like these I found myself wishing she was less aware of what goodbye meant. When we got back to the house Esme and Carlisle were there. Esme had cookies baking in the oven, but Renesmee held on to me keeping her face against my neck while Carlisle took Anthony from Bella. I walked to the other side of the house looking out the windows down at the river as I swayed with Renesmee wishing we could just bring her with us.

Outside I heard Esme helping Bella as the talked along with the soft hum of the Volvo which had arrived from our other home a week and a half ago along with Carlisle's Mercedes.

"I sad Daddy," Renesmee told me as she lifted her head away from my shoulder.

I kissed her nose along with both of her soft cheeks. "I wish you weren't," I said.

"Happy, go with you," Renesmee replied putting her hand on my neck to show me what she wanted. I saw the ocean and the white sands of Esme's Isle.

"When Momma and I return we will plan a trip maybe with everyone."

"No go," she whispered hugging me again.

Carlisle approached us silently ready to take her when we were ready. "Why don't you let Pop help you with your picture. I bet Nanna will even let you eat cookies while you work on that.

"Noo," Renesmee sobbed clutching to me as tight as she could. Carlisle walked with us outside to the garage and Bella hugged both me and our daughter as we tried to sooth her. When I nodded , Carlisle eased my daughter's fingers away from me and hurried inside with her even as she struggled, crying for me to hold her.

For one moment I doubted what we were doing and it was only Bella's hand on my own that gave me the strength to open my eyes look at my wife and know this is what had to be done. We got in the car and I sped away, both of us still hearing the sorrowful pleading cries of our two year old and the fussy cries coming from our son.

~*~

AN: I have some good news and some not so good news. The good is that you all are getting an update much sooner than I planned, the bad is that it may be until December 11 or later before I can get back to you. Due to financial woes My internet will be shut off until them which will make me crazy, but hopefully after that things will look up. I am sorry to do this to you all, but for now tell me what you thought of this chapter. I hated having to leave Renesmee and Anthony behind but wanted Edward and Bella in the action so there we go.

Thanks again to all of you for reading and reviewing, I love hearing from you so click that button. Happy Thanksgiving.

~Ella~