A/N: 6 of 6... This is where I let you ponder...

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, SM does, I am playing in the sandbox! ENJOY!

45

BPOV

My heart hears his words, my soul revels in them, but my brain wants to reject them. It can't be true; I don't deserve him or these wonderful declarations. But his kiss makes everything he says too real and too perfect. My eyes tell him that I believe and then I'm lost.

When he pulls away, the happiness that I see threatens to overwhelm me. The light shining in his eyes is blinding. For a moment I want to shield myself from it, worried that it will expose my fears. Instead I bask in the warmth. My body sings with the feather light touches of his skin on mine. I nuzzle closer, wishing that I could crawl inside him and feel safe again.

"Will you tell me what happened?" His words are whispered and muffled against the blanket that surrounds me, but I hear them loud and clear in my mind.

I know what he is asking. The question is whether I have it in me to tell him.

Listen to Alice, let him in. He wants to help you, care for you.

I listen to my heart and nod. I sit up and he sits behind me, wrapping his arms around me. I relax into the safety that his arms provide and tell him my tale.

"Even before I met you I wasn't feeling well. That night was the first time in weeks I felt well enough to go out. It was always minor stuff, headache, slight fever, body aches. I thought it was a cold." My voice trails off as I get lost in the memories.

"About two weeks after you left, I got sick and never got better. The body aches were a daily thing. I noticed that I bruised easily and they healed slowly. I was always running a fever, I lost my appetite. I was always sleeping."

I shiver at the memories and Edward silently holds me tighter. He rocks us from side to side, wordlessly reminding me that he is there.

"Alice convinced me to go to Health Services. They took urine and blood. A few weeks later, the doctor asked me to come in again. They wanted to draw more blood to do more in depth blood work. A few days later they called and I had to go back. I honestly don't remember much after the doctor told me they suspected leukemia. They gave me a card with the appointment information for an oncologist."

I take a deep stuttering breath, willing the tears to stay away. I still get emotional when I talk about my illness, it's an automatic response. I know it's because part of me still has not accepted it, I'm in still in denial.

"Somehow I texted Alice and when she found me I was a mess, at least that is what she tells me. I don't remember her coming to get me or the ride home. I woke and it was the next day. I was surrounded by Angie, Alice and her mom. The rest is history."

"I got you, Bella. You're not alone. Let me in, let me help you." His words are murmured against my temple. I could hear his desperation.

My body shook with the war of emotions raging through me. I longed to tell him that he has me, every part of me and he always will. But my fears are bigger than me and I have yet no idea how to conquer them.

I grip his arms hard around me, "I'm trying, Edward. So help me I'm trying."

A/N: HEHE.. if you go back to chapter 3.. you will see.. she mentions feeling sick... lol.. I gave you a clue even then... Thoughts? What you think is instore for our couple? See you later...