Disclaimer: I do not own Downton Abbey.

Chapter 6 – Transected

There was no news for nearly two weeks. Sybil threw herself into her nursing to keep herself occupied and made sure to take care of herself for her baby's sake, but otherwise she was barely living. Every morning she would eagerly look to her father, hoping he'd received some news from the war office, only to be disappointed. When word finally did come, it wasn't in the form of a letter or telegram, but the man himself. The officers were at lunch in the main hall when he walked in. Even though there were members of the family and staff around to recognize him it still took several moments for them to see beyond the uniform. When they did, Anna gasped and Edith could not stop the cry of "Matthew!" that left her, drawing the attention of the rest of the family, who came out from the library or drawing room.

"Oh thank god!" Sybil sobbed, clutching her father's arm for a moment before rushing forward into her husband's embrace. For his part, Matthew wore a bright smile, though it quickly turned to shock when he truly caught sight of his wife.

"Sybil!" He gasped, holding her ever so gently, though he'd been prepared to crush her to him. Sybil cried unashamedly and instead of allowing the spectacle to continue, Robert ushered them all into the drawing room "Sybil, darling, please calm down." Matthew begged, though she continued to cry, muttering "you're all right!" over and over again. It took several minutes for her to calm and none save Matthew tried to make her stop, knowing how wretched she had been these last weeks. Finally when she calmed, Matthew pulled away enough to look at her, and her growing belly.

"I wanted to tell you so many times." She said, smiling with still watery eyes. "I meant to tell you when you were due for leave four months ago, but it kept getting pushed back. I finally sent a letter, but that was mere days before we heard you were missing."

"William and I were caught behind enemy lines." He said the part they already knew. "We hid wherever we could for days, slowly moving back to our trench line without being seen. We finally made it, starving for both food and water, but very much alive. Considering what could have happened, a few days without food and little water is quite all right as far as I'm concerned. Given how weak we were they finally had to give us our leave, we would be no use to anyone otherwise. William's here too, he went downstairs to see Daisy, he's quite sweet on her." They all smiled and Sybil had stopped trembling enough for Matthew to release her to say hello to his mother and the rest of the family. They talked for several more minutes before Matthew excused himself and Sybil, taking her up to their room. Once the door closed he finally allowed himself to turn his full attention to his unborn child. He seemed quite in awe as they sat on the bed and he placed a hand over where his child grew.

"You certain it's only been six months?"

"Only?" Sybil shot him a look. "You were supposed to be home four months ago!"

"I know. And I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." She honestly couldn't blame him. They were at war, he was on the front lines, and he could hardly just up and leave when he chose. "But yes, it has only been six months. Mama tells me I'll grow much bigger before he comes out."

"He?" Sybil rolled her eyes.

"Well obviously I don't know that it's a boy. But it would be nice. All of the pressure for a male heir, the reason we married, would be fulfilled. We could then get on with our lives without the worry of Downton's future hanging over us." Matthew looked at her and conceded her point.

"So long as you know I will be very happy with a girl." Though he knew her reasoning was sound, Matthew could not quite leave it at that.

"I do." She said sincerely, causing Matthew to smile and lean down to kiss her.

~/~

Matthew had a blissful week at home before he and William had to return to France. With the usual pattern for leave being every three months or so – for an officer at any rate, though many men went a full year before being granted a week at home – and with the baby due in little over three months, Matthew promised to do all he could to be at home when their baby was born. He kept his promise, though not in a way any of them would have wished. A mere two weeks after having scared Sybil by disappearing behind enemy lines, Matthew was once more the cause of her fear as word reached them that he had been injured in battle. It was critical, they were told, though he was alive. William too had been injured and was in a worse state than Matthew. Sybil rushed to the hospital, donning her nurse's uniform for the first time in weeks, having given it up in the last couple months of her pregnancy when she could no longer do much of anything, let alone anything useful at the hospital. She knew she would be of no use for any heavy lifting, but she could certainly help patch him up, and though Doctor Clarkson had looked like he wanted to fight her on it, he'd wisely kept his mouth shut when he saw the combination of determination and desperation in her eyes. She stifled a sob when they brought him in, still bloodied and bruised, but allowed herself no more than a minute to wallow in her despair before she got right down to helping wherever she could. When he was finally cleaned up, Sybil was glad at least to see that it had looked worse than it was. At least, she hoped it did; only Doctor Clarkson would be able to say how bad his injuries really were. They had pumped him full of morphine to help with the pain and it had knocked him out, for which she was also glad, and so once they had done all they could for him she settled in to wait for him to wake. Though Sybil had wanted to stay at the hospital with him throughout the night, her father had come to take her home whether or not she wanted to, given she was now entering her final trimester. Surprisingly Mary came with him and offered to stay with Matthew where she could not. To many, having your husband's former love sitting with him and likely being the first one he saw when waking from his injury would be threatening; however, Sybil felt nothing but relief that he sister would be there with Matthew, regardless of their former relationship. The following morning when Sybil finally made it back to the hospital, Doctor Clarkson was already examining Matthew. She stood back not wanting to interrupt until the doctor was done, though her father, who'd returned with her, went over and called Mary out.

"He's awake?" Sybil asked.

"Yes." Mary answered, greeting her sister with a hug.

"Has Doctor Clarkson said anything? Do we know what happened?"

"A shell landed near them, him and William." She said. "The explosion threw Matthew against something. Doctor Clarkson thinks there may be trouble with his legs." Sybil was visibly upset, though she refrained from bursting into tears, though how she was unsure. Before she could ask anything else Doctor Clarkson left Matthew's side and came over.

"Not good news I'm afraid." He said. "I'd say the spinal cord has been transected, that it is permanently damaged."

"So he won't walk again?" Sybil knew the truth though she still couldn't stop it from being a question.

"If I'm right, then no, he won't. It's a shock to be sure, but I would say in all likeliness he will regain his health. This is not the end of his life."

"Of course it isn't." There was an edge to Sybil's voice and thankfully Doctor Clarkson knew her well enough to not take it personally. With a quick thank you to the doctor, Sybil went over to her husband's side, glad to see the smile on his face when she stepped around the screen.

"My darling."

"Oh Matthew!" She went over to him and grasped his hand, leaning over to kiss it. "I was so worried."

"I'm sorry. I never wanted to be the cause of your worry. Especially not again so soon"

"Don't you dare apologize!" She chastised. "You're alive and that's the only thing that matters."

"Is it though?" She could see the sorrow setting in and wondered how much Doctor Clarkson had told him.

"Yes." She insisted simply.

"What did he say? How bad is it?"

"You've only been here twenty-four hours, nothing will have settled down yet." She didn't want to lie to him, but she also wasn't sure how conductive to his recovery the truth would be.

"Tell me." He all but begged, and Sybil knew she couldn't keep it from him.

"He says you may have damaged your spine." There was no way to break that to him gently.

"My legs?" He clearly knew exactly what that meant. She nodded.

"A transected spine means paralysis below the waist. However, Doctor Clarkson says the first task is to rebuild your health." While she wouldn't hide the truth from him in hopes of speeding his recovery, she also wouldn't let the truth affect it more than necessary. "And that's what we have to concentrate on."

"I see."

"And he says there is no reason why you should not have a perfectly full and normal life."

"Just not a very mobile one." He said bitterly.

"You must think me very feeble if you think that would make a difference." Her own voice had a tinge of bitterness to it as she tried not to take offense, her pregnancy hormones not making that an easy feat.

"I know it wouldn't. And I love you so much for saying it." He rushed to assure her, wanting her to know he never doubted her love for him. "But it is not just my legs though is it? Paralyzed below the waist means…it means I can never truly be a husband to you again."

"That side of things is not important to me, I promise." He clearly didn't believe her.

"My darling, its not important now. But it will be. And it should be." He said. "Especially if our child is a girl. Then we married for naught."

"Don't start this again." She both begged and ordered. They'd had this discussion before, years ago when Lady Grantham had been pregnant, for a boy would have displaced Matthew as the heir, making their marriage meaningless, or so he had tried to claim. "Our marriage will never be meaningless, Matthew. I love you. And whether this child is a girl or a boy that will not change." No matter that he might know she spoke the truth, he clearly wasn't ready to accept it.

"No, Sybil. I can never produce an heir and that changes everything."

"But it might not. We might have a s-"

"And I couldn't possibly be responsible for stealing away the life you ought to have." He cut over her and Sybil recoiled, tears coming unbidden to her eyes.

"I'm going to pretend to not understand your meaning. Because you can't possibly-"

"But I can. Sybil if I cannot be a husband to you, you can divorce me and-" She cut him off this time, though not with words. Unable to believe what he was saying, no matter that it might simply be the shock of it all, Sybil got up and walked out.

A/N - If you're thinking that Sybil wouldn't let it end like this you're right, I don't think it a spoiler to tell you that now. However, Matthew's reaction to his injury I don't think is out of character, and not just because he reacted like this in the show.

Review please!