"Daddy! Play with me!"

One day later I had almost managed to forget him enough to play normally with my daddy.

Daddy turned to me and I saw something different about his eyes for a moment. They weren't yellow like they get sometimes when he's mad, but they were different.

"Daddy?" I asked.

He shook his head and when he looked back at me they were normal again, "Sorry, Kiddo. I have a lot of work to do right now. Maybe later, okay?"

"But Daddy… I want to play now! You promised you'd always have time for me!" I grabbed his wrist and pulled.

Daddy managed to catch himself before he fell over, but when he looked back at me his eyes were funny again. And he was giving me that feeling. That weird cold-but-warm feeling. I shivered a bit and he scooped me up.

"Sorry, Buddy. I know I did. What do you want to play, then?"

"Play starship!" I bounced eagerly.

Daddy closed his eyes and used the Force to make me fly around the room. I laughed and started doing somersaults and flips in his grasp. Daddy laughed too and sent me flying around erratically. First I almost spun into one wall, then the next. Each time he would turn me sharply before I could get hurt.

Finally he flew me back down to land in his arms. We both laughed for a few moments. Then he stopped laughing suddenly and he started giving me the feeling again.

"Daddy," I said, in my most serious tone, "Something is wrong. What is it?"

"Nothing's wrong, Kiddo. Don't worry about it." Daddy kissed my forehead.

"You're lying to me. Daddy, what's wrong? C'mon, I need to know! I want you to be happy!"

"You want everyone to be happy, Luke. I'm sorry, my son, but it just can't be done. I will be all right and in the meantime you can go play. Just don't worry about it."

"Daddy! It's making you sad and I'm worried about it!" Daddy wasn't listening to me. He always listens to me!

"I'm sorry it's upsetting you Luke. Why don't you go play with your droids?"

"I wanna play with YOU!"

"Look, Luke. You have your whole life to play with me, just not right now. Okay?" Daddy started working again.

"I wish you weren't my daddy! I wish my daddy really cared about me! You're so mean! I wish I was an orphan!" I didn't really mean it. It just came out.

Daddy spun at me angrily, "Oh, you wish you were an orphan, do you? You wish I wasn't your daddy? You think I'm mean, do you? Well, I guess you weren't really listening to that rebel yesterday. Did he tell you that not having parents is fun? Didn't he tell you to enjoy having a father because it's much worse if you don't? Don't you think he'd be offended if he saw you acting like this? If I were in his position I would think you were a spoiled little brat!"

I sat down suddenly and started crying silently. I hadn't thought about it that way. I'd just wanted to play with my daddy. Cliegg would have hated me for acting like that. He would have thought that I was a spoiled brat. I'd tried to be his friend. What kind of friend was I? I gasped a bit and Daddy looked away from his work and noticed I was crying.

"Oh, Force. Luke, I didn't mean it! I'm sorry!" He bent down and scooped me up and hugged me. "Luke, it's okay! I'm sorry, I just talked without thinking! I love you. You're perfect. Don't cry, please don't cry. I'll play with you if you want."

"No! You're right! Cliegg would be so mad if he knew! He would hate me!" I put my arms around Daddy's neck and cried on his shoulder as he tried to comfort me.

"Luke, it's okay! Cliegg wouldn't hate you, he's a Jedi and they don't get those feelings. It's okay. I promise. Even if it would have made him hate you, I promise I wouldn't have told him." Daddy put his nose in my hair and breathed out, tickling me and making me giggle through the tears.

"Promise?" I sniffled.

"Promise." Daddy gave me another hug.

"Is Cliegg okay?" I asked. I was really, really worried about my new friend after what had happened to the first one.

"Yes. Thus far, Darklighter is all right."

"What does 'thus far' mean?" Daddy was using his big words again.

"So far, Darklighter is all right." Daddy said.

"You mean that he won't stay all right?" I asked nervously.

"Darklighter is a criminal and an enemy of the Empire. He will be dealt with appropriately." Daddy was giving me that weird feeling again.

"Daddy, how do you feel?" I asked, determined to find out what that feeling meant.

"I feel fine, why? Do you feel bad?"

"Yeah. I feel bad coming from you. Something's making you sad. What's wrong?"

"What do you mean by 'bad coming from me'?"

"Something's making you sad. It happens all the time, but it was most yesterday. When we were with Cliegg. Does he make you sad?"

"In a way he does make me sad. It's unfortunate that anyone could go that wrong." Daddy looked out a window over my head.

"He doesn't make you sad like that! He makes you sad the way most people get sad if they break something or whatever." I put my head on his chest and instantly knew that I'd been right about Cliegg's heartbeat. Daddy's was much slower and more regular.

"You mean like guilt?"

"Is that what it's called?" I tipped my head to one side, the way Daddy does sometimes. He says it's something he still does from when no-one could see his face.

"I think so."

"Okay. Why does Cliegg make you guilt?"

Daddy laughed, "I think you mean 'why does he make me guilty'."

"You're doing it again. Why does he make you guilty?" Daddy was avoiding my question again.

"I don't think he does. He's just another rebel, Luke."

"Now you're lying to me!"

"I'm not lying!"

"Yes you are! You're lying and you're lying about that you're lying too!"

"Okay, okay, Luke. You're right. I'm sorry. Cliegg was my apprentice once. I did an astoundingly bad job of taking care of him. I failed him. He was my responsibility. And I failed him."

This felt mostly true. Daddy was giving me the 'guilt' feeling again. But one thing still didn't feel right, "What's 'apprentice'?"

"Having an apprentice is kind of similar to being a parent, but you're trusted with teaching the child as well. Clearly I failed if he's now a rebel."

"Oh. Didja love him?"

"Yes." Daddy rubbed my back a little.

"But you're leaving him in jail? Would you do that to me if I messed up?" I hoped he wouldn't. Jail was a scary place.

"I would never leave you there. I had to leave Cliegg. My master said I can't help him. He told me to forget about him. In a way, he let me have you in my life as something like a reward for leaving him. He demanded that I take you to see him yesterday."

"Oh. You still love him, don't you?"

"No." Daddy said loudly. He was finished talking about that. I slipped out of his arms and went to go play with my droids like he'd told me to.