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20 August 2185 — SSV Normandy SR-2, Omega Fuel Depot, Sahrabarik System, Omega Nebula
Tali fidgeted nervously. She didn't know if she wanted to go to Corinthia or Shepard for help. The quarian decided to wait to see which one of them came in first.
Of course, it was Corinthia. She wandered in, staring at her omni-tool with a frown etched on her brow. She was still trying to get past Cerberus's firewalls and Tali had never seen Corinthia so annoyed. Worse, her bad mood was rubbing off and Shepard and he had been noticeably more irate than normal. That, of course, had prompted Joker to start calling the Commanders "an old married couple" or "parents annoyed with their teenager" (referring to himself after Corinthia scolded him for some immature and snide comments about her and Shepard's sex life). Shepard reverted to his usual "fuck off" order for Joker (which, of course, the pilot ignored) and had found seventeen menial missions to do just so he could avoid the peeved Corinthia.
"Tali, this fucking firewall is frazzling, frying, and fragging my fricasseed frontal lobes," Corinthia muttered. She blinked. "Too much consonance?"
"Er, what?" Tali asked.
"Repetitive use of a particular consonant at the start of a word. Synonym: alliteration, though that just refers to any letter so long as it's the same." Corinthia slumped against a wall and shut down her omni-tool. "Note to self: I'm working too hard when I start sounding like a dictionary,"
Ken and Gabbi, the engineers, snickered. They had never been in a conversation with Corinthia that didn't make them laugh and this one was going to be good.
"I thought you sounded like Mordin," Tali answered.
"I had full sentences," Corinthia replied. "Right, what did I come down here for?"
"Something about the firewalls fragging and... uh... frazzling? You'd think after as much time as I'd spent with you that I'd understand what you're talking about."
"Shepard and I have been friends for a decade and he still doesn't get half the stuff I'm talking about," Corinthia answered. She rubbed her eyes. "I'm second guessing everything I'm saying because now I feel old."
"You're not. Well, not really. You are older than me, though."
"Not by much." Corinthia suddenly regarded Tali. "You look worried."
"You can't even see my face."
"You're shifting, your helmet's a little foggier than normal, and you've checked your suit seals five times since we started talking. What's going on?"
"I've been called back to the Flotilla."
"And you're worried about that?"
"Maybe worried isn't the best word... They've accused me of treason."
Corinthia blinked. "What?"
"I don't understand. I can't think of anything I've done wrong — well, except maybe travelling with Shepard, but I told them about it and they told me to go. It's..."
"I'll tell Shepard to take us to the Flotilla."
"That would be... Thank you."
"No problem. It's what I'm here for, right? Making Mr. Grumpy-Pants do what everyone else wants him to, especially when it's important, right?"
Tali blinked as Gabbi and Ken burst out laughing. "Grumpy-Pants?" Tali asked. "Does he know you call him that?"
"Of course not. Even he only has so much patience for me, you know."
"He'd tolerate it once and then tell you 'no'."
"I know! It's actually pretty funny. For a guy with almost no discernible sense of humor, he has a tendency of hilariously repeating the same one-liners... or whatever you call his orders to me and Joker."
Ken snickered. "Do yeh think they carry over into their personal life?"
"Shut up, Ken!" Gabbi hissed, stomping on his toe.
"Ouch!"
"You're next," Corinthia warned them.
"What?"
"Both of you. You're the next Shepinthia."
"Yeh've got to be kiddin' me..."
"Did Kasumi title you that?" Tali asked.
"Nope. Guess again."
"You know I'm going to go through the whole crew before I get it right and it's going to end up being you."
Corinthia rolled her eyes. "I may be immature, but the most dimminutive he gets is 'Johnny' and 'Sheppy' if I feel like bugging him, or maybe even 'Marky-Mark'."
"What's that last one?'
"His middle name is Mark. You didn't know that?"
"I never read his file..."
"Personally, I think it's a better fit for him than John, but, hey, I can't control that. We'll just have to name our kid Shepard Junior and call him Mark or something..."
"Kids?" Gabbi blurted.
"Not now," Corinthia answered. "Like five years after we get rid of the Reapers or something like that... when he's got a desk job... If he doesn't go insane before that."
"Which he will," Gabbi observed. "Him? Behind a desk? I don't think he could last an hour. The only lazy thing he does is you, and I get the impression that he doesn't do that lazily at all."
Corinthia flushed. "I'm leaving now and I am never going to tell another 'that's what she said' joke in my life."
"But they're funny!" Ken protested.
"Yeah, when they're ridiculous whorish or sound like they came out of a porno, but not when it's things that you might actually say..."
"Oooh... Corinthia's giving details about her sex life..."
"Goodbye," Corinthia said finally, stepping out of the room and heading towards Jack's area.
"She's going down there willingly? After Jack's been pissed at everything?" Gabbi murmured.
"Made some kind o' peace after she blew up that facility," Ken answered. "Think she even got Jack to like Miranda... or tolerate 'er, at least. That girl's a miracle worker... Remember Shepard when we first met 'im?"
"Don't remind me," Gabbi muttered. "I've still got nightmares."
"Well, 'e did bring us all the things we've asked fer. Runnin' like a jack rabbit, she is."
"Jack rabbit? C'mon, you think of a better simile than that..."
"Clockwork?"
"Much better. Good job, Ken. I'll get Ci-Ci to give you a gold star for me."
"Think she'll give me a kiss on the forehead, too?"
"Want Shepard to cut your throat?"
"She 'ugs everyone! What's a kiss?"
Gabbi sighed in annoyance and rolled her eyes. "Do you really want to test Shepard?"
"Alright, yeh made yer point. She's just got a fine arse an'—" Ken instantly shut his mouth as Shepard walked in.
Thankfully, Shepard was in a blessedly good mood. "Talking about Gabbi, Ken?" Shepard asked, smirking.
"Er..."
"You know he is," Gabbi covered quickly, grinning and elbowing Ken.
"We've been comparing notes," Corinthia said, coming in, Jack in tow (though Shepard had a bad feeling as to why). "So far, Miranda's winning. I mean, who walks around in skin-tight clothes and can't be considered the most marvelous piece of meat on the ship?"
Jack snorted. "I'm better."
"We're giving you the female abdomen award," Corinthia replied. "Tali wins best hair."
"But I don't... Oh, that was a joke..." Tali shook her head. "I need to get better at this..."
"Kelly wins most annoying," Shepard muttered.
"No, Joker wins the Catty Cheerleader Trophy," Corinthia corrected with a grin. "Kelly gets the Most Outrageously Moussed Hair award. There's no way that part of hers is natural..."
"How the fuck did they get on superlatives?" Shepard demanded of Ken.
"Don't ask me. I just watch 'em," Ken answered. "Pretty sight, they are..."
"And you sweep the fucking floor by winning the most Psychotic Bitch Aboard this Goddamn Ship," Jack added. "You make me look like some kind of goody-two-shoes."
Corinthia raised an eyebrow. "Did I do something else that I don't remember?"
"Think I just sit in the dark all day? I've listened to your mission transmissions. Shit, girl, you're almost as bad as I am."
"I was just talking about physical appearances, but if I look psychotic..."
"That's my job."
"Do I get any input?" Shepard asked irately.
"No," Tali, Gabbi, Jack, and Corinthia said in unison.
"And this is the part where I retreat upstairs and actually enjoy Joker's company," Shepard whispered, retreating. "I REALLY don't want to know what they're going to label me."
"Sexiest Man Alive," Corinthia answered instantly. "Seriously. You could be on the cover of a magazine or something and everyone else would swoon over you."
"Do I get hero-worship later?"
"Maybe."
Shepard shrugged. "Good enough for me. Why were you down here, anyway?"
"We're finding the Flotilla! It's going to be fun!" she answered perkily.
Shepard glanced at Tali. "I was wondering who would be next..."
Tali shifted uncomfortably. "Sorry, but I only just got the summons..."
"It's fine, Tali. You actually have a life outside the military."
"We don't," Corinthia muttered. "Well, he doesn't. I still do, though I can't really do it from here..."
"I thought I was your life and all the mushy shit," Shepard put in.
"Well, I mean, you are, but — but are we seriously going to talk about that in front of them?"
"You brought it up."
"No, you did."
"You missed your opportunity."
"What?" She flushed as everyone except Tali (who had never really gotten the sexual innuendo) started laughing. "You people are horrible. I'm going to go pout for three hours and then hack your omni-tools and you're gonna regret it," she finished in a sing-song tone.
"It's going to be a twentieth-century hell for the next week," Shepard groaned. He grabbed Corinthia's arm and pulled her into the hall. "I swear, it's like baby-sitting a child..."
"Except that I'm capable of things no child ought to be."
"Only because you figured out that there's something better than hugging and kissing."
She turned bright red. "But it's still involved..."
"Yeah, but there's a lot of other things which I know you like," he growled into her ear, squeezing her waist and pulling him against his side.
"John, what did we talk about?"
He released her. "Hands off unless we're alone. No suggestive promises or grins unless there's an opportunity to act on them... You know, you really don't hold up to your end of the bargain."
"I'm sorry I make you weak at the knees all the time, but I can't help it! I don't know what I'm saying half the time and you know it."
Shepard pushed her into the elevator, getting in after her and selecting his cabin. He cornered her. resting his hands against the wall on either side of her head. "I sincerely doubt that you are as clueless as you act."
"Ignorance is bliss and I feel blissful."
"Until you get depressed over something else."
"Or Imreas comes out again."
"It's been almost two months since the last incident."
"I don't trust her that much."
He leaned in to kiss her. "Can't you just be happy?"
"I am happy. I'm also fretting, that's all. Things have been too good lately. I'm' just waiting for something to go wrong. We're due."
Shepard backed away. "Talk about killing the mood..."
She checked her omni-tool's time log. "It's not even dinnertime!"
"Sorry." Shepard ran a hand over his head. "You're not the only one worried. I am, too."
She squeezed his hand. Though he had never told her, she knew that he was deathly afraid of losing her for good. "John, you have enough to worry about without waiting for me to go berzerk. Just concentrate on the missions at hand."
He laughed bitterly. "Missions? It's a fucking nightmare, that's what it is. 'Go here, run over there, and, while you're at it, do a few errands. By the way, don't get yourself killed. We'll need you later when we actually decide to tell you what's happening next.' Goddamn this whole fucking mess!" He punched the wall. "I didn't like how the Alliance ran the show last time, but at least I knew where I was going and what I was trying to do. Now it's just waiting here for that bastard to tell me what to do next."
"I agree, really, I do. I don't mind sitting around and doing nothing, but this whole thing just feels... aimless."
"Yeah... Didn't you go and try and recover Vigil or something?"
"I did, but it wasn't much. It pointed me to the Reaper where... well... you know... It took me ages to decipher what I did. Liara helped me with it, but so much was just beyond our capabilities that it turned into nonsense. Honestly, Liara has the data, not me. I needed my omni-tool and computers for other things."
"I'm not blaming you. How would you even be able to help me? I don't want you anywhere near a Reaper."
"We're not going to have much choice in that matter, Shepard. We don't even know how to stop the invasion. We don't know when it's coming! So far as I can tell, all we know is that the Collectors are kidnapping humans and that they're being controlled by Harbinger, who honestly may or may not be a Reaper. It sure as hell sounded like one to me, but I don't know for sure."
"Can't you track down the Illusive Man for me?"
"I wish I could, but I've tried before. It's not that easy. He's as well hidden as the Shadow Broker."
"But we're on a Cerberus ship. You were trying to hack them, last I checked."
"And I succeeded, which was why I was talking to Jack at all, but I couldn't get deeper without unlocking EDI. I like her, but I don't trust AIs THAT far."
"What are you talking about?"
Corinthia raised an eyebrow. "Haven't you talked to anyone on the ship?"
"A little to Garrus, not really to the others except when they asked for favors."
"No wonder why they all think you're cold..."
"I thought I was."
"You're actually quite nice and sweet, at least to me. You do act differently around me, I've noticed."
"Wasn't always like that," he muttered. The elevator doors slid open and Shepard stepped out. "You do remember, don't you?"
She cocked her head to one side. "What are you talking about?"
"Just... bad memories," Shepard replied evasively. He rubbed his neck and sat on the sofa.
"You know, you've never given me any details about your past..." Corinthia murmured, sitting in his lap.
He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her jawline. "Because it's irrelevant."
"You mean because you think I'd hate you for it."
"Yeah..."
She stroked his cheek. "I know you're not perfect. I know you've done bad things and I was there for the worst of it."
"Not really. I didn't let you come with me, not completely. I couldn't... Please, don't ask me for details. I'm ashamed of it, all of it, and you know I don't feel remorse." He buried his face in her neck and hair. "But if you have to know, I'll tell you."
She thought for a long moment. Yes, she wanted to know rather desperately, but if he was going to hate telling her, she knew it wasn't going to be pretty and he would need some serious comforting afterwards.
"Let's get on the way to the Flotilla first. Then at least we'll know where we're going."
"Flotilla? What are you talking about?"
"Oh, I forgot. Tali's next on the list of people with errands. She's... She's been accused of treason."
Shepard sighed, annoyed. "I wondered who'd be first... Fine. EDI!"
"Yes, Commander?" the AI answered.
"Tell Joker to get the coordinates from Tali for the Flotilla's location and take us there."
"Of course, Commander. Shall I inform you when we're underway?"
"No. Just leave us alone for now, alright?"
"Understood."
Shepard closed his eyes. "You aren't going to like any of this."
She smiled softly, leaning in to kiss him. "I know, but I need to hear it. I want to know because I'm pretty sure that we're going to have to face it before the end. We already did, once. I'm sure it's going to come up sooner or later..."
He avoided her kiss, lifting her off of him and setting her at his side. "Let's just wait until after we deal with Tali's mess."
"I'm sorry, John, I didn't realize it was going to be so touchy... Wait, that didn't sound right..."
He put his head in his hands. "It's more that I don't think like you. I can't just start telling a story without at least a little time to prepare so that I don't talk in circles or anything like that. I wish there was something to scan my memories and show you..."
"There is. Her name's Liara."
"Or Samara..."
"No way she'd do that."
"It'd be one hell of a lot easier than me telling you."
"If it's going to piss you off, then forget it," she snapped.
"You're the one that asked and i said no! But you had to press, didn't you? So now you're just going to drop it?"
"It's irking you, isn't it? Besides, I can guess or just hack into your records, if you don't want to tell me."
He narrowed his eyes. "You just don't want me to join minds with anyone, do you?"
"Damn right I don't! Every woman on this ship is half-way in love with you except Kasumi and Samara. If you did that, it'd leave Kasumi to be the only one drooling over someone else."
"You know as well as I do that no one's going to do anything."
"Yeah, but it's you I don't trust."
Any kindness in Shepard's visage vanished. "What was that?"
Corinthia paled. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean — "
"Of course you meant it," he hissed, standing up. He advanced on her, leaning down and pinning her to the sofa. "I've had chances to be with other women, you know. You were dead and I wasn't taking it well. Jack offered herself to me. Miranda had been trying to seduce me until I brought you aboard. They're both sexy, fine, but you're beautiful and the only one I want. So, yeah, I fucked other women, but the last few were replacing you, not because I really wanted them." He grabbed her and pulled her against him in a fierce kiss. She inhaled sharply, squeaking in suprise. As he had no intention of releasing her, he ignored her protests, pressed her into the leather, and started undoing her belt. With any luck, she wouldn't doubt his dedication ever again.
25 August 2185 — Rayya, Migrant Fleet, Vallhallan Threshold
Tali wasn't sure what to say. She couldn't stop staring at Shepard. In less than twenty-four hours, he had entered the Flotilla, stood by her for two trials, discovered her father's fate (which was not good, since he was killed by the geth he was trying to restore to their original state), and managed to convince the board of Admirals to drop all charges without mentioning her father's research. She wanted to embrace Shepard, but she couldn't in front of Corinthia.
"Tali vas Normandy," Corinthia murmured. "Suits you, Tali."
"Thanks," Tali beamed. "Of course, if Shepard..."
"You're part of my crew, Tali," Shepard answered, signalling that he had nothing else to say on the subject.
"Which really means that we're keeping you," Corinthia finished. She hugged Tali. "Feel better, now?"
"I'm not sure... To not have my father is... difficult, but... but I have you, don't I?"
"I sense the need for a party," Corinthia said with a grin. "It's about time we had one."
"Hold off until we deal with Zaeed's problem," Shepard muttered. "Then we can celebrate not having any more stupid errands to run."
"Would you calli it stupid if I asked for a favor?"
Shepard hesitated. "Well..."
"I'll take that as a 'no'."
"I'm sure seomthing'll come up sooner or later."
"Later is better. We've got enough to worry about right now. Let's go. I'm going to suffocate if I'm in here for much longer. I might have to go roll in some dirt after being in a clean room like this."
Corinthia pursed her lips. "That's totally unnecessary. There are other ways to be dirty."
"Stop talking. Now. This is not a good time."
"What did I say? I just — Oh... Oh. Right. Yeah. Shutting up now."
They boarded the Normandy. Joker turned in his chair. "So... how'd it go?" he asked, almost lewdly.
"Just get us to a Mass Relay. I'll have coordinates in five minutes. EDI, don't let Ci-Ci start playing music through your speaker system again. That last dance party nearly capsized the ship."
"We can't capsize. We've got artgrav and all that shit," Joker muttered.
"I'll turn off the gravity, then," Corinthia answered. Her eyes lit up. "Ooh... That sounds like fun..."
Shepard's eyes darkened as he remembered floating into the vacuum of space to his death. "No," he said hoarsely.
Corinthia smirked and put her arm in his. "I promise you won't regret it."
He rolled his eyes. "You would."
"Of course I would! When i have good dreams, I dream about flying."
"You'd throw off the ship's center of gravity and everything would stop working. Not a good idea."
"Then I'll steal the Kodiak and we'll do it there. You can pick the music, promise!"
Shepard groaned. "I'm not getting out of this, am I?"
"Nope."
"Fine, but consider it your 'errand'."
She pouted. "But... Oh, alright. Not like I can resist you for long." She blushed a little and released his arm.
"I already apologized for that," he whispered.
"I told you that you didn't have to. It had been the best to date."
"I meant that... Well..."
"I'm sure it's not the first time I'll have a hickey, Shepard. besides, I have makeup for a reason. I don't mind. Really!"
Kelly looked up as they past. "You have several messages, Commander, and Zaeed would like to speak with you."
Shepard didn't answer and just got into the elevator. Corinthia sighed. "He'll look at them later, I'm sure. Thanks, Kel."
"Of course, Ci-Ci."
"You know, you don't have to brush her off like that," Corinthia muttered once they were alone in the elevator.
"She's annoying."
"So'm I."
"And here you are telling me that I'm sweet and all that shit."
"To me, maybe, but I swear that you just so... so... pig-headed sometimes. Just because they're Cerberus —"
"It's because they're Cerberus. Let's not argue, especially about this. She's not part of the team."
"Yes, she is. Everyone on the ship is. Yes, you were dismissive of everyone aboard the first Normandy, too, but you were their commander. You aren't here, not yet, unless you start acting very differently. These are the people whose loyalty you need. Right now, they're our only allies, almost. Liara counts, sort of, and Anderson can only do so much with Udina trying to get you court martialed..."
"Please, stop talking. I've done enough for my lifetime today and I still can't believe that I did it."
She hugged him. "You did marvelously."
"I'm turning into you, aren't I?"
"No, not really. Something better."
He retracted their helmets before kissing her deeply, lacing his fingers into her hair and pulling out her ponytail. "I half miss being a selfish ass-hole, but if i become a total push-over because of you, that's what I'll be, then."
"Not sure you'd make admiral like that."
"Not sure I'll make admiral at all. I'm working for Cerberus, aren't I?"
"Not really. You're using them just like they're using you, except you're going to get back at them."
"Choke the Illusive Man to death... The idea of its making me hungry."
"Zaeed first. Food next. Me later."
"C'mon..."
"Public place..."
"Oh, right. Fuck. I hate this, you know. We are so getting a place of our own."
"I have a place, so therefore we have a place. it's on the Citadel and you know we can go there whenever we want to. I also have a place on Illium, come to think of it. And you still have that place on... er... what was it called?"
"Intai'sei," Shepard answered. "I wonder if it's still there..."
"Well, everything of yours did pass to me when you died..."
"What?"
"Anderson ensured it. He kinda made it to look like we'd been married..." She blushed. "I didn't want to tell you, about the marriage bit, I mean."
"We're... married?" he stammered, blinking.
"No, not really. I falsely created the records to smooth the process before the Council seized everything and then I deleted it after everything was settled. I couldn't do that to you, John. Besides, it'll happen eventually, won't it?"
"If there's an eventually for us to have..."
"We'll have it, Shepard. We have to."
"Yeah..." he whispered, unconvinced. "We'll have it."
A/N-Shoutout to LeroyZanzibar and his character, Mark, from his story Mass Effect: Friend of a Hero. Quid pro quo FTW.