AN: so, I got a really good response to the first chapter and lots of people asked Gilbert stuff! That makes me smile a lot! Some of you mentioned that you love my writing and I thank you for that. I used like every one of the questions plus one in this so it's pretty damn long.

So, if you want advice from Gil, please review! (Gil will give you advice more than once so repeat costumers are loved!)

Hey everyone, Gilbert here once more to answer your questions. So I got 10 responses and have given my advice to every one of them later on in this column. You guys are awesome and all but, apparently you need to grow a pair when it comes to relationships.

Ask me anything and I shall respond with the most awesome advice you will ever get!

Dear Mr. Awesomesauce Gilly,

I have a very good friend who is turning into a big jerkface and she keeps acting mean and selfish. How do I tell her to stop without her trying to kill me in my sleep? While still maintaining my awesomeness, though not as awesome as you, of course.

I shall reinstate your country one day.

Pomodoro Crisi

Pomodoro Crisi,

Yes, I am awesome and that is a good way to address the awesome. And reinstating my country would be the best thing that anyone has done and would make you awesome. Not as awesome as me though because that's really not possible.

So as an answer to your problems. Well, your friend is obviously not that awesome, awesome people do not become big jerk faces or act mean and selfish. Not getting killed in your sleep may be your best idea… death is not fun. Well, in my awesome opinion, you should just tell your friend what she is doing and tell her that she is being incredibly unawesome. You need to assert your awesome without being too mean to her about it because otherwise she might get annoyed and mad because unawesome people do that a lot.

Hope my awesome advice helps you out (because it's awesome)

~Gilbert

dear puh-puh-puhruuussiaaaa

everyone says I'm a man in a teenage girls body. I could care less, but my crush also says this. So I don't know what to do...should I girlify myself? Or should I just continue to be manly and just top him or something

much love, c-c-cuhraaaackbeeerriiiies

Crackberries,

Ok, being manly is awesome in every way and not something to be ashamed of, even if you are a teenage girl. I am the most manly person to ever exist so you know that manliness is awesome. So, I don't think that you should go and girlify yourself for some random dude. He may be your crush but, it's not awesome to change yourself for some guy anyway. Unless that guy is me of course.

So, basically just continue your manliness and top him already because that's awesome and hot. If he has a problem with it then he's probably not awesome enough for you anyway.

~Gilbert

Dear Gilbo of Awesome,

I have recently found myself quite attracted to an upperclassman who is about two years older than I. I see him a lot every day and I wanted some advice on how to become better friends with him. Though we are already some-what friends, since we ride the same bus and have a class together. I'm fairly anti-social and I have social anxiety, therefore it is hard for me to start conversations with people, and since he's two years above me, it's kind of intimidating. Any advice would be much appreciated, thank you!

Signed,

Zeke aka NearTheEnd

P.S. Tell FrenchFry that I love all their stories and can't wait for the next update!

Zeke (NearTheEnd),

Well then, this guy must be sexy apparently and possibly awesome although I'm not sure about that because I don't know him but, he can't be as sexy and awesome as me. So the best thing for you to do in this situation would be to recognize your awesome and take control of the situation. Don't be nervous around him or intimidated. Just think about how awesome you are and start a random conversation.

You could even bring up random crap that doesn't make any sense because that's a really interesting conversation starter. So just be yourself and talk to him about stuff. It may be helpful to find some awesome stuff that you guys have in common.

FrenchFry thanks you for that comment.

~Gilbert

This is a really neat idea. Kay, Gilbo, I wants some adviceee:

So I just moved to a new place and met new people in a new school etc etc. One of the girls I've sort of developed a crush on can get really upset sometimes, and I absolutely hate seeing people I care for being sad - I want to help, but I've no idea how to do it appropriately when we've only recently met. Got any ideas? :)

Love your stories! Keep writing.

-Lilanac

Lilanac,

Ok, so this girl is really upset at times. Your hatred of seeing people sad seems to make this a bit of a problem. Well, you can help out a bit. From what the awesome me has heard, when a girl is really upset there may not be much you can do. However, if you just listen to their problems and offer your support. That kinda stuff apparently means a lot to girls. They like to hear that you are there to listen and be their friend.

This kind of problem makes me glad that I don't have to deal with chicks.

~Gilbert

Hi Gilbert! How's Gilbird doing?

Umm, anyways, I like this guy a lot, and he likes me back, but just when it seems he's going to ask me out, he doesn't. How can I take the first step, or nudge him in the right direction?

-Edie

Edie,

Apparently lots of you readers have problems with romance. Trust me; even the awesome Gilbo understands that problem. Well, the first thing is, does this guy know that you like him back? If the answer is no, well that's your first step. Telling him that you like him.

If the answer happens to be yes, then it's slightly more complicated. Honestly, if you really want to you can ask him out yourself. Some guys have a problem with girls that are so awesome that they can ask a guy out but, others think it's hot. If you don't want to do that, just do little things to show him that you're interested and hope he can take a fucking hint for Christ's sake.

~Gilbert

Hey, Gilbert and Gilbird! I actually have a couple of questions to ask.

1) Are you dating Matthew Williams, aka Canada?

2) I have an awesome friend of mine, who I ended up getting a crush on after hanging out with him for a few years. I did tell him, and he still is having issues getting over an ex of his because of a huge misunderstanding they both had, and he's not exactly sure what's going on with a fellow classmate of his (we both go to different colleges). I'm not sure where to go from here. He did say that we'll just see where it goes, but I'm getting a little...edgy, so to speak. I don't know what to do. Should I still attempt to pursue a relationship (even though I have zip experience in the matter), or move on?

Hasta la pasta!

-Ayla Pazza

Ayla Pazza,

1) It is awesome that you mentioned Gilbird… he's feeling the love there. And yes, I am dating Mattie.

2) Well, if the friend is awesome you need to be sure that whatever happens, the friendship won't go away if shit happens. If you've had feelings for him for a few years, I don't think you should give up or move on. Not having any experience in the matter of relationships isn't really that much of a problem. I think that you should still attempt to pursue a relationship with him because you said he was awesome so that must mean that he is awesome but, still less awesome then me.

~Gilbert

salutations!

So I saw that you were doing an 'advice' column thing and decided, "Hey, it would be awesome to get advice from Gilbert, 'cause he's well…. Awesome" And that leads me to where I am at the moment, and that would be in the cellar of your friend Antonio's house. He seems to have figured that I needed to go back to living with him because I apparently "fail at acting cute." Please… how do I get out of here? I'm bored and only have this computer….

Chile

Chile,

Why did Antonio lock you in his cellar? That Spaniard is a complete nutcase, seriously, he's awesome and all but, I think he has a few screws loose or something like that. Well, I am awesome and have been locked up in various places in the past so I shall help you. He might let you out if he thinks you have succeeded in acting cute so you can try that method.

However, if you are really awesome, you will trick Antonio when he comes to check on you and hit him in the nuts and run out of the house like a fucking madman. Or, you can stage your own death to make him take you out. Or, you can gain the ability to phase through walls. There's more of course but, those are the easiest. (Ever think of contacting police on that computer?)

~Gilbert

Afternoon, Dear Gilly! How's Europe? Good? Good!

Okay, so here's my problem that i'd like advice on (And like SOO many others...it's a guy problem...) I've kinda started like my best friends friend. When we first met (when summer started) it went smoothly and i liked him. Then as summer prgressed...he was a BIG jerk and i just wanted to slit it throat...but now that we go to the same school and i see him every week day and some weekends...and he's changed from being a huge jerk, i've started liking him again, tho i play dumb and say i DON'T (CUZ I DON'T WANNA!) And it doesn't help the we have been 'married' for a couple weeks (not really married, he calls me wife and i call him husband) And my best friend has been acting a bit possessive...should i drop the little crush, should i keep it to myself? I don't wanna upset her in the slightest...but i kinda really like him...

-NykkDearest

NykkDearest,

Europe is always good, although I prefer it in Canada ;)

Everyone has guy problems apparently. Thankfully, I know quite a bit about guys considering the fact that I am one. So does your friend know you like him or have a problem with it? If she has a problem with it then she's not that awesome of a friend but, you should probably drop it. If she doesn't or doesn't know you should tell her. If she's ok with it then, go for it. I personally would go for it either way but, you seem to care about your friend's opinion a lot.

~Gilbert

Hallo thar Gilbert.

I have this friend, who won't stop bugging me about her boyfriend. See, she and her bf has been dating for a month now and she wants him to...be more intimate. So she keeps on complaining about how much of a wuss he is and other crap about what they have done so far. Me and my brother (he's gay and proud of it) keep telling her to dump the ass, but she's not letting go no matter how hard we try. We don't even like the s***head. Now she just keeps asking me what should I do. I am guy and it sickens me hearing her discriptions of him. Need help now!

-MintyPatches

MintyPatches,

First of all, your name amuses me. Second, she really does need to dump his ass. If he won't do shit then he's obviously not worth her time. And the fact that she is telling you, a guy, all of this stuff is not awesome. You need to persist in telling her that you hate the fucker and want her to dump his dumb ass. You should also tell her reasons why to dump him and tell her that it really bothers you to have to deal with her talking about him.

~Gilbert

Sup Gilbert

I need some mega awesome advice. My BFF is dating this guy, who's like a real dipwad even at the best of times. Over the past few weeks, he's been making advances on me and my other friend! I want to tell my friend, but I know she won't believe me because she knows I don't like him in the first place. What am I supposed to do?

Tantei S

Tantei S,

Well, you have come to the right place for mega awesome advice. This guy sounds completely unawesome and not worth anyone's time ever because he's stupid and deserves to jump off a damn bridge. Just my opinion.

Anyway, it might be best if she catches this dipshit in the process of hitting on you guys. If both of you tell her, and she is really a good friend, then she might believe you.

Another tactic is too bitch his unawesome ass out. Tell him how things are gonna go and how you feel about all of this. Tell him to go fuck himself.

~Gilbert

Gilly!

It's me, Feliciano! You said that I could write in to you this time and I did! I have a problem that needs your advice! Ve…

Well, there is this guy that I like a lot. We're actually already dating. He is very distant sometimes though. It makes me sad because I'm really tired of waking up alone. I love him and don't know how to get him to love me the same way. Gilbert, you have Matteo so you must know something about this stuff. What should I do?

~Feli

Feli,

First off, stop asking me how to get my brother to be more affectionate. I really don't give a shit what you do with West so please stop bringing it up.

Really, if you need my advice, just fucking jump him. If you don't want to "wake up alone" go jump his ass and then make him stay in bed. I know, you just want to sleep close to him but, this may be your best option. Seriously though, Ludwig is already completely in love with you so get over it.

~Gilbert

So that is my advice for this installment, if you wish to get advice please feel free to review and ask away because not being a nation is boring. And Feli, you will not be writing to me again because I'm tired of hearing disturbing shit about my bruder.

Next installment, expect a letter from Alfred (America)

~TheAwesomeGil

AN: So that is the first actual advice that Gil has given. What do you guys think? I think it was fun to write at least and it gives me something to do other than sit around and twiddle my thumbs! It was also fun to write Feli's question!

And there is a little teaser for a future fic in here… can you guys guess what it is?

Please review and if you are awesome you should check out my other stuff!