A/N: 4 of 7.. I don't think Edward is doing really well...
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, SM does, I am playing in the sandbox! ENJOY!
56
EPOV
Time no longer held meaning to me. Everything blurred together. When I was aware of time passing, I longed for those blissful times when I would black out.
I tried to stop, but with sobriety came feeling and I just couldn't handle it. In one of my sober moments, I ran across one of Bella's scarves. A faint trace of her scent lingered and I raged. I ripped apart my room and then took solace in my den. There I stayed; there I sunk deep into myself and the bottles that littered the room around me.
Each second that passed I was fighting with myself.
Did I go back to Bella and grovel for her forgiveness?
Did I stay away so I didn't have to bury another person I cared for?
Over and over those choices ran through my head, mocking me.
Tears flowed when I was conscious enough to feel pain and I cursed myself for being so weak.
At one point I'm aware enough to know that someone is in the house, but I cann't drag up the energy to give a fuck.
I hear a gasp from the doorway and when I look up through my blurry eyes, I see Maggie looking at me in shock.
"Edward!" I hear the sadness and the pity and it's too much for me to bear.
"Get out, now!" I roar at her.
I can't take it, I don't deserve her pity.
"Edward, what's wrong?" She takes a step towards me and I react.
My hands wrap around one of the empty bottles and I throw it against the wall behind her. She flinches and cowers.
"Get the fuck out," I hiss at her.
She turns and runs.
Blindly I reach for the half full bottle of vodka and down the entire thing. Moments later I feel the blackness seeping around me and I gracefully allow it to claim me.
I don't know how much time had passed when I feel a sting to my face.
Muffled, I hear something. More stings come to face and I slowly blink my eyes open.
"Emmett?"
A/N: Ohh snap.. big brother coming... whats he gonna do?