Another Monday Night, another episode of Raw. But this time we're in ShortBus' hometown of Long Island. It's one of those cold nights again and we're sitting backstage waiting for the show to start.
"Pee Wee Herman...ughh.." Aly says shuddering.
"Oh I know, he's creeeeppy."
"Beyondddd creepy." Aly adds, scooching closer to Mike.
"You know, I'm a fan of his." Alex says out of the blue.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Aly exclaims, looking at him weirdly.
"Hey, he's allowed to be a fan of whoever he wants." I say.
"But he's creepy!"
"Apparently not to him."
"Then somebody has a weird definition of creepy."
"Who said he thinks he's creepy?" I laugh.
"The man is creepy, even if certain people don't think so." She says firmly.
"Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Let's leave it at that."
"...still creepy.." Aly mutters.
The show finally starts and Cole introduces the show and where we are tonight and then Randy's music plays and he walks out.
"Oh look it's Randall."
"He so hates that name haha."
"Even more of a reason to tease him. I think his wife and daughter are here." Aly grins.
"Awww, little Alanna? She's so cute."
"I know, such a cutie." She agrees.
Then we turn our attention to Randy as he starts talking. Randy then lifts the mic and starts to talk as soon as his music fades and the fans calm down, and he takes it all in.
"Now uh, I don't think that there is a man alive that can take this title from me. But if someone did, now I definately wouldn't be happy about it but I would accept it. What I cannot accept is if I lost this title because of a crooked referee, especially if that crooked referee just happened to be John Cena. So I'd like to ask John Cena to come out to this ring, because if he's going to screw me over at Survivor Series...the least he can do is be man enough to say it to my face."
"You know, this feud between then has gone on long enough."
"It's just boring now. Let them feud with other people for a change."
Then John's music plays and he walks out and into the ring and he's handed a mic.
"You of all people. You know what, I will say something to your face. Cut me some slack." John says to Randy.
"Nice try but he won't."
"I know. Randy Orton, you're the WWE Champion. I've been there before, we've both been
there before. You're smart enough to know that championships are won and they're lost, they come and they go. At Survivor Series I got a decision to make, if Wade beats you at Survivor Series I am out of Nexus finally! But if you beat him, I'm fired, that's my Survivor Series. And on top of that, I got to be the special guest referee so I'm supposed to call the thing right down the middle, best man wins. But Randy, if there's a situation...if something happens in there...I'm just telling you, I..." He trails off.
"You see all this, you see all this chaos, you see all this unrest in the WWE Universe? I'm telling you, I don't know what I'm going to do. That's what I'm telling you. I'm either free or I'm fired."
"I think I get that, I think I get that Cena. Basically this is your pleading heart way telling me that you are going to screw me over at Survivor Series."
"Basically." Mike says, shrugging.
"Well he has to basically." I state.
"Unless he wants to go insane." Aly adds.
"Right, this is his only way out or he's gone."
"Well if he gets stuck in Nexus I can see him just quitting himself. He's already threatened to do so and I know that takes alot for him to say. He loves this job, we all do but if you're in the position that he is, suddenly that job you love becomes something you dread." Aly comments.
"It's easier to just quit when your dream becomes your nightmare."
"Right." I agree.
"Hmm...didn't really look at it like that before." Mike says.
"Well it's better than being told what to do by your enemy." Aly adds.
"True." Alex adds.
"No...no no. What I'm telling you is..." John says, until Randy cuts him off.
"You know what John, listen to this. What I'm saying, what I'm telling you is if you do screw me over at Survivor Series...sure you keep your job. You keep your job, but you'll be the biggest phony in the WWE. And don't even bother coming out here talking about hustle, loyalty or respect. Especially respect. You obey Wade Barrett's orders and you disrespect every person who has ever been champion including yourself. You know what, you know what John Cena? Get out of my ring, you do not deserve to be in it. I'm sorry, I'm sorry...I forgot you can't get out of this ring without asking your master Wade Barrett for permission."
"You think I like any of this stuff? You think I like doing this? I'm an errand boy damn it! You worked hard to get here, I worked hard to get here and now I'm getting coffee! You think I...don't you talk to me about Wade Barrett! Wade Barrett has got me under control, hell he's got you under control...the WWE Championship, the run the show!" John goes off.
"He has a point there." Aly muses.
"The sad thing is, I've been in the ring with Wade Barrett and I can't believe I'm saying this but, he may have enough skill to compete for the WWE championship. That's...heyyy I'm with you guys. We all know that he's not going to do it straight up because you've seen what he does. The guy is classless, it's HE Randy who does not know about respect."
"He never really has." Alex comments.
"And you're speaking from experience." I say and he nods.
Then the ninny music plays and out walks Wade with the rest of the ninny posse, him holding a mic.
"If only I could jump through the screen and punch him." I say, narrowing my eyes at the TV.
"Technically you could, by running out there and getting him from behind." Aly states.
"But its not a good idea with all of them out there. Plus the GM is kind of sadistic." Mike says.
"Yeah I know."
"Oh Cena, thank you very much for those kind words. In fact, I'm going to give you permission to say whatever you want about me because ultimately actions will speak louder than words. And you and I both know that when push comes to shove, you will do exactly what I tell you. And at Survivor Series, you will raise my hand as the new WWE champion."
"All I know Wade, in 3 weeks at Survivor Series this is over. It is over! I am either out of Nexus, I am either free..." John's cut off by Wade.
"...or you're fired!"
"Excuse me, can I have a second with my boss? You listen to me. Yeah, in 3 weeks at Survivor Series this thing is coming to a head. And whether I'm out of Nexus, or I have to leave the WWE, I will not go quietly. I promise, I promise you this. I will leave you a parting gift. When this is all over, I'm going to beat the hell out of you."
"Woo, go John!"
"You see John, I don't have to wait until Survivor Series. As far as I'm concerned Wade, you're nothing more than a scared, pathetic little child that needs to stand behind 7 other guys. At Survivor Series, I'm going to beat on you and beat on you until you are unconcious. And the only thing left for your little stooge here to do is count to 10 and raise my hand. Unless, you want to come down to this ring by yourself and prove me otherwise."
Wade starts walking down to the ring and the GM dings in and we all sigh.
"Really beginning to hate that noise." Aly mutters.
"Also...and I quote."
"And his little thing 'May I have have your attention please', how about no? Or maybe 'shut
the hell up because you already know we're looking at you dumbass'." She says, rolling her eyes.
"Randy Orton...as the WWE champion, I feel for the position you're in. You want to know what Cena is going to do, we all want to know. So I think we should find out...tonight. Later this evening there will be a main event involving Wade Barrett and a partner of his choice vs you Randy Orton and a partner of your choosing. And the special guest referee is going to be John Cena."
"Hah, Wade thought he was going to get to have John as his partner."
"Haha, denied."
We go to commercial, and when we come back Slater and Gabriel were in the ring with their title belts, waiting for their opponents to come out.
"Haha they got penny belts." I say, laughing.
"Because they're worthless." Aly smirks.
Then David Hart Smith and Tyson Kidd come out and the match is for the titles.
"The ninnies are going to win for sure, because David and Tyson aren't on the best of terms right now." I sigh.
"Right."
So the match starts and goes on. It looks like Tyson and David were going to win, but they got into an arguement and lost.
"Sucks to be them." Mike comments.
Then the cameras go to John in the locker room and Truth comes in and talks to him.
"Okay, he is really annoying me now." Aly grumbles.
John walks away from Truth, because he's had enough and then we go to commercial. We come back from the commercial and they show Pee Wee Herman for a bit, saying we'll see him tonight and Aly shudders. Then the cameras go to Sheamus coming out.
"Look it's the Keebler Elf." I say, laughing.
"Wonder if he has cookies." Aly laughs.
"We should ask him later."
"We should."
Sheamus gets talking and then he tells Santino to come out.
"You know, Santino is such a weird person." I say, after he comes out.
"He is." Mike agrees.
"He's a nerd." Alex says.
"A nerd with a unibrow." I say.
"Oh wait no, what did he call it a while ago? Oh yes, manscaping." I add and Aly's laughing.
"Or lack there of." She finally says.
"First of all Sheamus, I would like to say that I respect you as a human beings. In fact, I'm a little bit of a fan of yours...you're good! Actually last night I went out trick-or-treating for Halloween dressed as you."
"Ohhhh..." Aly snickers.
"It's true. The only problem is everyone kept thinking I was a ghost."
"That was good!" Aly cracks up laughing.
"No no. In fact, that's actually quite irritating. No wonder you're such a angry person."
"Could be true." I laugh.
"Or he could be out of cookies." Aly adds.
"Also true." I agree and the guys are both laughing pretty hard at this point.
"Speaking of irritating, Sheamus last night I consumed a tremendous amount of candy. And
sure you can eat caramel, nouget and chocolate on their own...they're fine. But when I eat all 3 together, bad things happen..." He stops pretending to almost throw up.
"Ew."
"You see? So unfortunately I have bad new Sheamus. You see the doctor told me that if I
come down there and wrestle against you, the odds are that I may accidently throw up...in your face!"
"Oh that's gross."
"And I don't think anybody here would like to see that. See, I'm still sick. However, I did find
you a suitable replacement." He says, and out comes Vladimir Kozlov.
"Ooookay."
"Sheamus. You talk funny. Now I crush you!" Kozlov says, walking down the ring and getting in and Aly and I both snicker.
The match ends and then Sheamus comes after Santino after winning. Santino tries to offer him candy and then money, and Sheamus throws all of it away while walking up the ramp after him. Then he tries to get him his credit card and he throws that away too. Then he tries to write him a check and he pushes him down and goes after him. Morrison comes out from nowhere and kicks Sheamus in the skull helping Santino.
"Ew." Aly makes a face at the sight of Morrison.
Then we go backstage to Randy and Truth talks to him and they decide to be tag team partners for the main event match. We go to commercial and then come back to Mark Henry backstage talking on the phone and the camera pans out to reveal Pee Wee Herman talking to him on the phone and talking nonsense. Aly shudders lightly, and then they hug. Pee Wee decides to play diva twister. Melina, the Bellas and Eve walk in with the spinner and mat.
"Ooookay then."
"Awkward much?"
They play the game and then he stops and talks more nonsense and then Lita appears onscreen.
"What the...?" I say and Aly stares blankly at the screen.
"I haven't seen her in years. I used to really get along with her and then I went back to Chicago and then all that stuff with her, Matt, and Adam happened. I'm not really sure what to think about it all." She comments.
Then the camera goes to the ring and there's Shortbus getting into the ring for his match.
"Oh god, he's wearing his twitter gear." I say covering my face with one hand.
"Hahaaa, he looks ridiculous." Aly laughs.
"Nerd." Alex says.
Mike agrees, repeating it the way he used to on Dirt Sheet. His match was against Ezekiel Jackson, and it did not last long.
"Knew it wouldn't last long."
"It never really does with Shortbus." Aly shrugs.
Before going to commercial we see that we'll be seeing Pee Wee Herman up next after the commercial break.
"Oh great." Aly sighs.
We come back from commercial and he's introduced and he walks out. He gets into the ring and starts talking and then does his little secret word thing and what to do when it's said. That's when Mike tells us that we should go out there and deal with Pee Wee. So we get up and head to the curtain and come out at the right moment and walk down to the ring and Aly decides to stay behind Mike. Pee Wee goes to shake Mike's hand but Mike doesn't shake his hand.
"I thought Raw losing at Bragging Rights was a lowest point in the history of this show, but obviously I was wrong." Mike says.
"Agreed." Aly mumbles to me quietly.
"I don't like you Pee Wee. He does, but I don't like you, I've never liked you. I was always the He-Man and the Mass of the Universe type of guy. Now that was a show, I loved He-Man."
"Why don't you marry He-Man." Pee Wee retorts.
"Don't play games with me Herman. Turn around and get out of my ring."
And that's when everyone starts screaming including Pee Wee. Aly face plams and just hold her hand over her eyes. Alex looks around and starts laughing and so does Pee Wee.
"Sometimes I worry about the world. This is one of those times." Aly sighs..
"Dude you can't say the secret word." Alex says, trying not to laugh.
"Secret word?" Miz asks.
"The secret word." Alex states.
"This is ridiculous." Aly snorts.
"Agreed." I reply.
"I'm going to lose brain cells out here." Aly says quietly, still with her hand over her face.
"I don't know about no stupid word, I don't know about your stupid show, you need to turn around and get out of my ring before I..." Miz says, and he's cut off by the screaming again and Alex is smiling like crazy again.
Aly smacks her forehead.
"Quit saying that damn word right now!" She shoves Mike's head from behind.
Pee Wee is laughing like a crazy man, and well Alex is cracking up a storm. Aly sighs and shakes her head.
"Are you trying to embarass me Pee Wee? Look at you with your silly grey suit and your ridiculous bowtie. You're not a cultural icon, you're nothing more than a pathetic excuse for a man."
"I know you are but what am I?" Pee Wee retorts jokingly and Alex tries to hide his laughing.
"I think I can feel the brain cells dying." Aly mutters to me.
"Oh, that's real cute. What're you do...Oh that's real mature, what are you twelve right now? What're you a little kid come on now!" Miz argue with Pee Wee, with him saying the same thing back to him at the same time mocking him.
Aly rolls her eyes and hops onto the ring post, crossing her legs, resting her elbow on her legs and propping her chin in her hand.
"Miz miz miz miz, relax. I'll handle this." Alex says to calm him down.
"Look Mr. Herm...I'm actually a big fan...I'm trying to help you..." He says, and Pee Wee does the same to him.
Aly snorts and I just shake my head.
"Look, if you don't knock it off I'm going to snap..." Alex goes off yelling with Pee Wee trying to mock him until Miz butts in.
"Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it!" Miz yells.
We watch quietly, waiting to see if we'll get to leave soon.
"Are you stupid? Do you understand that I am Mr. Money In The Bank? I'm a future WWE Champion, I don't care if you're on broadway, I don't care if you were in movies, do you actually want me to beat you into a pulp?"
"Oooooh, is that supposed to scare me or something? I'm really shaking...ooooh oooh oooh."
"Not really helping." Aly rolls her eyes.
"I'm so scared. You know what Miz? You're starting to make me angry. I'm a loaner, a rebel."
"Really?"
"Oh here we go." I say shaking my head.
"He's going to bring out one of his buddies watch." She says to me.
"Really."
"Really?"
"Really."
"Really?" Alex adds in.
"Really."
"Really?"
"Really infinity." Pee Wee ends it.
"We can just stand around here and play the really game all night, but I'm going to give you both a little piece of advice. Do not anger the Pee."
"What the...?" I say, laughing.
"This is so stupid." Aly says covering her face.
"Yeah, that's right you heard me correctly. I got my cousin here backstage..."
"Your cousin? Is that why you're so confident? Oh that's why you're so confident? Oh he's going to protect you isn't he? Now that's so..." Miz stops.
"Now that's so funny...I forgot to laugh haha." Miz says in Pee Wee's voice and Aly snickers.
"You know he could do impressions for a living if he wanted to." I say, standing there cracking up.
"I know, he's so great at those." She laughs.
"Go ahead, bring your cousin, bring your whole Herman family, 'cause I will destroy them all."
"Oh, I was waiting for that invitation. He'll be out here in just a second to wipe that smirk off your face Miz! You know why? Because he's so awesome!"
"Oh boy, here we go." Aly sighs.
That's when Big Show's music plays, then Pee Wee's and he walks out dressed in the same suit as Pee Wee Herman, looking like the biggest nerd/dork there is and we both crack up. He gets into the ring and stands there while Pee Wee acts like Hornswaggle with the laughing and walking around and everything. Alex goes running to Big Show and he grabs him by the throat, Miz does the same thing and Big Show grabs him. Then he flips them over the ropes backwards and out onto the floor. Alu jumps down and we both scramble out of the ring to see if they're okay.
"Hey, did you guys have a nice trip out of the ring?" Herman says and the whole arena erupts into screams...again as Miz and Alex stand up and Alex is flipping out.
"You dork." Aly shakes her head.
"Whoa, calm down Alex." I say trying to calm him down a bit.
He reluctantly starts to settle down for a bit.
"Really Herman, really?" Miz says, then the GM dings in.
"Aw hell." Aly sighs.
"And I quote. Miz...you're...you're not getting out of this so easy. You said you'd beat anyone
in Pee Wee's family, well tonight's secret word is...pain. Because you're going to face Pee Wee Herman's cousin...the big Pee Wee next."
"Damn GM." Aly growls under her breath.
"I was a fan of yours! I was a fan yours!" Alex yells, getting all worked up again.
"Alright, there's only one way he's going to calm down." I pull his face down to mine and kiss
him and he stills instantly.
"Look at this Cole!" Jerry exclaims.
"Yeah, go A-Ri!" Cole exclaims.
Aly just shakes her head amusedly and looks up at Mike.
"Be careful okay?" She says, quietly.
"I will." He replies.
I pull away after I feel he's calmed down and he just looks so dazed and confused.
"I see that calmed you down."
"Uh-huh.." He says slowly.
"Okay, pull it together, you got to focus if you're going to be ringside for Mike." He focuses
and nods.
We go to commercial before the match starts, when we come back Alex is ringside with the
briefcase and we're ringside as well. The bell rings and the match starts. Miz quickly gets away from Big show once and tries to do it again, but he grabs him by the head and puts him in the corner, then delivers a huge and loud slap to the chest.
"Oooooh!" I say, cringing.
"Ohhhh, babe." Aly says, also cringing, holding one hand to her chest.
Miz keels over, his hands over his chest and Show just nails him in the back with his arm
and Miz cries out in pain. He puts him in the corner again and delivers another slap and he falls to the mat.
"Ow."
"Ooooh." Aly winces, hissing.
Big Show picks him up and throws him against the ropes hoping to right hook him in the face but Miz crawls out of the ring, out of the way of danger. Alex comes over and he yells at Show, and Miz talks to him in his ear...strategizing. He then gets back into the ring and Big Show grabs him again and puts him in the corner then flipping him over out of the corner. He leans him against the ropes and slaps him again making him fall to his knees to the
mat.
"Would he stop doing that?"
"I really wish he would!" Aly sighs.
"Mike come on!" Alex yells from ringside.
Miz tries crawling away, but Show kicks him where he slapped him previously. He then puts his foot to his throat until the ref tells him to back off. Show picks him up and throws him into the ropes and he misses the hit, then Miz goes for the leg of Big Show repeatedly until Show headbutts him. Miz goes for the leg again, and Big Show clotheslines him. He picks him up and then drops him, goes against the ropes and drops his elbow onto him, then going for the pin.
"Get up!" Alex yells, jumping up and down.
"What a dork." I laugh, shaking my head and Miz kicks out.
Aly shakes her head amusedly but continues watching Miz closely with concern.
"Come on Mike!" Alex yells again.
Miz gets up, but goes back down because Big Show headbutts him. Miz crawls away and Big Show comes after him, but Miz kicks him leg again and again and again as he gets into the corner. Then he goes back and forth between kicking the leg of Show and punching in the head. He goes against the ropes and kicks Show's leg out from under him, knocking him down finally. As Miz is busy with Big Show, Alex is over by Cole and Cole's being the nerd that he is as usual, then they slap hands.
"Really? Well Cole gets points for liking Alex." I laugh, then turning my attention back to the match.
"I suppose but it doesn't get him anywhere since he was in negative points already." Aly says without taking her eyes from the match.
"Like negative infinity points haha."
"Exactly."
Show lifts Miz on his back and lands backwards, making Miz look like a pancake.
"Come on!" Alex says, jumping up and down again.
The match goes on and Miz has the upperhand for a while, until Big Show takes control. Big Show misses his right hook punch and then Miz runs to him and he gets him in a chokehold. Alex jumps up and tries to stop him and Show throws Miz into Alex knocking him off the side of the ring.
"Really?" Again?" I sigh.
"This is getting old." Aly mumbles.
Miz grabs the briefcase and hits Big Show in the gut and the ref sees and calls the match. Then he hits him across the back and climbs out of the ring and walks backwards to the ramp.
"Let's go." I sigh, walking over to Alex and helping him up.
Aly helps me with Alex and we catch up with Miz up the ramp. We walk backstage and to the room as we take a long break.
"I don't like the look of the red spot on your chest from the slaps." Aly says to Mike, in concern.
She gently touches it and he winces.
"Now I really don't like the look of that spot. Let me get some ice." She adds.
She gets up and gets some ice and puts it in a plastic bag and hands it to him.
"Here, this should help."
"Thanks Lys." He says, holding it against his chest.
"You're welcome." She smiles.
"Let me see that nose. I saw you holding your hand against it walking up the ramp." I say to
Alex and he reluctantly moves his hand.
"Let's see...doesn't appear to be bleeding. Doesn't look broken. I think you're good."
"Still smarts though." Alex mumbles.
"You'll be fine. We got to get ready for our match coming up next. You two just sit here and
relax." I say and they both nod.
"Alright, let's go kick Eve's ass." I say to Aly.
"This is going to be great." She smirks, getting up.
We leave and head down to the locker room and get ready. A stagehand knocks on the door and tells us that it's time for the match. We walk out to the curtain and we walk out first to our new DX remix of our tag team music. We slap hands with some fans before we get to the bottom of the ramp and split to opposite sides of the ring to do our entrance move. We wait in the ring until Eve's music plays and she walks out and we just glare at her as she gets into the ring. The bell rings and Aly lets me go in first to go after Eve. It starts with a stare down, then she shoves me. I look to the side and laugh a bit before turning around and slapping her as hard as I did last week. I take her and throw her against the ropes and when she comes back and clothesline her...and I did it hard. I go over and tag Aly in after dragging Eve over near the corner. She climbs up onto the turnbuckle and I grab her hands and when she jumps I help her flip and her feet land on the gut of Eve. She goes for the pin as I get out of the ring, but Eve kicks out. The match lasted longer than we anticipated. But this is the move that ended it all. I did a backbreaker to the knee, Aly climbed to the top of the turnbuckle and she jumped off and knees Eve in the head and I let her go. I crawl away and Aly goes for the win. Even doesn't respond to the pinfall in time and we win. Aly's given her title back and our hands are raised. We walk back up the ramp and backstage as we head to the next commercial. We head back to the locker room to change back into our regular clothes and then walk back into the room where Mike and Alex are. I lean over the couch, my face upside down in front of Alex's.
"So, how's the nose?" I ask and he jumps back a little."
"Jeez, don't do that! You scared the crap out of me." He says, holding a hand over his heart.
"Sorry." I snicker slightly.
Aly laughs a little and sits on the arm of the couch by Mike, who has mostly changed into street clothes, sans his shirt since he's still holding the ice to his chest.
"Is it looking and feeling any better?" She questions.
"It's feeling better that's for sure."
She moves the ice a little and sees that the color has faded from angry red to a light pink.
"That looks better too." She says, taking the bag and walking towards the bathroom to get rid of it.
She then throws Mike's shirt to him, it landing on his head.
"Haha score." She laughs.
Alex and I laugh while Mike picks it up off his head and sticks his tongue out before putting it on.
"Alright, is your heart beating at it's normal rate? Or do I have to calm you down again?" I ask Alex.
"Unfortunately I have calmed down." He says smirking.
"Good."
We sit there and finish watching the last few matches. We watch Natalya beat Michelle McCool and Layla crying like a baby cause she got kicked in the face. Then we watch John being a fair ref and calling the match like any other ref would...with the right team winning...Randy and Truth.
"Alright, I think we can go now, night's over."
"Sounds good to me." Aly says.
We all get up and start to head out to go back to the hotel. That's when we see Randy with his little girl Alanna. Alanna is getting kind of fussy and he doesn't know what to do. Aly walks up to him to solve the problem.
"Oh goodness, give her to me." She demands holding out her arms.
Randy hands her to Aly and she starts singing/humming a song to her and she immediately calms down.
"What the hell? How did you do that?" He asks, curiously.
"Kids like lullabies. I have a niece and nephew plus 3 cousins so I would know."
"Thanks Alyssa."
"No problem."
After Alanna was calmed down, she handed her back to Randy. She says bye to him and walks back over to us and we head out to the car and back to the hotel to sleep.