A/N: 5 of 7..

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, SM does, I am playing in the sandbox! ENJOY!

57

BPOV

"We've had enough, Bella. You are going to talk to us," came Alice's demand as she walks uninvited into my room.

"Alice!" admonishes Angela. She throws me a sympathetic look that is laced with pity.

I want to scream at them both, instead I just glare at them.

"There is nothing to talk about, Alice," I seethe.

She gives a little delicate snort and rolls her eyes, "I say different. Now tell us what the fuck is going on?"

I look at her as if she has three heads. How can she ask me that? She knows what's going on. But the anger I have been holding back comes rushing forward.

"FUCK YOU, Alice! You want to know what's going on. I'll tell you." I take a breath and barrel on forward. "He left me, Alice. You were there, you saw him. He left me!" I point to my chest for emphasis. "He finally came to his senses and realized that I am damaged goods, that I'm half of a woman. He saw for himself that I'm weak and pathetic. He now knows that I'm not good enough for him. He finally decided that he's not going to waste his time on me."

By now tears are streaming down my face and I can't stop them if I wanted to.

"I love him, Alice. I gave him my heart because that is all I have left to give him and it isn't enough."

I look up into the shocked faces of my best friends.

"He left me," I sob out before they swoop in and hold me close.

"Do you really love him," asks Angela timidly.

I nod, "Probably since the moment I saw him," I sniffle out.

"When we are together," I shake my head, "the pull towards him is intense, and there is no way for me to resist him. But when we touch," I close my eyes against the memory of his touch, "It's like coming home."

I shake my head.

"He is right, guys. I'm damaged, he deserves better than me. I mean, there is no guarantee that I'll beat this. I should have let him go when he came back," I whisper.

But I didn't because I'm helpless against him.

"You didn't tell him about your check-up, did you?" Asks Alice.

I shake my head.

What is the point in telling him I have one? It would have gotten his hopes up. Then, when the blood work came back saying I was still sick and I need more chemo, he'd be stuck with me. No, that isn't what I wanted for him.

"Alice, for the last fucking time, back off. He made his choice and I'm going to respect that. You don't have to agree with it. It's my life. I'll do whatever I want with the time I have left."

With that I pull myself from the tangle of limbs we had become and I roll away from them.

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A/N: Even Bella doesn't blame him... whats your thoughts?