A/N: Thanks to GoogleFloobs for a few suggestions/critiques! Helped me refocus!
Disclaimer: Mass Effect is copyright of Bioware. Ci-Ci is mine.
I welcome constructive and/or encouraging reviews/critiques. Please leave feedback!
Thank you for reading. Enjoy!
15 September 2185 — Afterlife Club, Omega, Sahrabarik System, Omega Nebula
Shepard ran his fingers through his hair and smoothed it back down again. Corinthia crossed her arms and paced the hallway. "I don't like this, Shepard," she murmured. "I've met Morinth before. I'm totally straight and even she started swaying me."
He nodded, feeling his cheeks and stroking his goatee. "I know," he said softly.
Samara has asked something of Shepard that he had, for one, not expected, but also had never, ever thought he would have to do: Seduce another woman. Worse, she was an Ardat-Yakshi, which meant that if he gave in, he would die. He'd only told Corinthia because... Well, he didn't even know why he'd told her, but he was regretting it. He liked it better when she could just grin at him for coming home alive instead of pouting and, probably, pouncing on him so hard that they wouldn't be getting up (or out of bed) for a week.
She made to touch him, but pulled back at the last moment. "Please, be careful."
"It's not like we have a choice in this," he growled. "You think I want to do this?"
"No, of course not." She shook her head. "So, do whatever you like to the bitch."
He raised an eyebrow. "Anything?"
"No! I mean, don't do... that, please, but... I mean... Get rid of her however you want." She took a sharp breath and headed towards the door towards the main club.
"Cassie, wait," Shepard called, catching her wrist. "I love you, alright? I'm not about to forget that when I go in there, no matter how seductive she is."
She sighed. "I know..."
He put his forehead against hers. "I want to hear you say it."
"I love you, John," she whispered.
He released her quickly and stepped towards the VIP door. If he held her for any longer, he wouldn't leave. It was almost as if she'd thought this would be their last farewell... Things were getting out of hand. It was one thing to be in love, but her clinginess was starting to choke him. Still, she was the best thing he had and he wasn't about to give her up because she was a little smothering.
He easily got inside the reserved room. The club was throbbing, but had a higher class of slime and filth than the rest of Afterlife. Shepard knew why Aria didn't hang out in there (she couldn't intimidate anyone on a regular basis), but if he wasn't there on business, he might have enjoyed it. That is, he might have if it hadn't reminded him of the last time he went into a bar wanting someone other than Corinthia.
It had been his birthday. He and Corinthia had just arrived back from a mission (which hadn't held much incident) and were taking a much-desired furlough. Corinthia had dragged him to the other side of Arcturus Station to a place that wasn't populated by marines. There'd been a party thrown for him; he'd never had one before.
Shepard had loosely been considering asking her out, but that night drove all thoughts of it from his mind. He wasn't easily swayed by beauty, but Corinthia had not only been so blind to his advances that she essentially told him to stop flirting with her, but she also pushed him into the arms of another woman. Corinthia told him to "mingle" and it'd advanced to more... It had been a crazy night, but the woman had been able to tell from the start that he'd been wishing she was someone else. It had been eye-opening, in the sense that he decided to stop dicking around and commit to Corinthia, assuming she actually liked him or would be brave enough to fess up to it, but it had also been condemning because he could never forget that night, or any other he'd had, and it rather ruined the ones he'd had with Corinthia.
He dismissed the memories and started scanning the room. He had Samara's and Corinthia's lectures running around in his head, telling him how to seduce Morinth, what to say about art... He needed to think straight and their voices weren't helping. He needed to pretend, be as strong as he was... It was probably the hardest thing he'd ever done, thinking about... cheating on Corinthia, even though that wasn't what it was, not really.
He pressed through the bodies as people danced like drunken madmen. If anything, Shepard was determined not to dance (he didn't know how; the one time with Corinthia had been a fluke... worth it in the end, but still a fluke). But he had to attract Morinth's attention somehow.
"Fuck this," he muttered. Things would've been easier if he could just put a bullet in Morinth's head and leave, but no... He had to complete the mission. He'd never failed one (not including when he died) and he wasn't about to start. Despite feeling completely self-conscious, he grabbed some asari's arm (she had been making eyes at him), dragged her onto the floor, and started dancing.
On the other side of the club, Morinth sipped her drink and gazed over the crowds, trying to find her next victim. There was so much fun in the seduction, the dominance, the joining, the kill...
Her eyes fell on Shepard. She could feel his sheer presence and it sent chills up her spine. He had the look of danger, calm, pure awesome power... This man was capable of anything. The cold in his eyes was more than attractive; it was a challenge, begging her to accept. He'd experienced things that no one could understand and had been touched by something magnificent.
He was going to be hers.
The fun, though, lay in the hunt. She was the sort to lure in her prey, not to go after them. She settled herself in, ensuring that if his eyes brushed by her that he'd have a very good idea of her assets, and watched and waited. There was more he would have to do before he could earn a night and death with her.
Shepard found Morinth almost as soon as he drew near her. Worse, he could feel her eyes pulling at him to make him gaze, lust, and enjoy her. For a moment, he forgot that he was in love, that someone was waiting for him on the other side. This asari made Liara look like a child, he saw that now. Morinth was breathtaking, confident, calm... Everything that Corinthia wasn't.
He was sitting across from the Ardat-Yakshi before he realized it. Morinth's lips slowly curved into a sultry, yet cruel, smile. It had begun.
2 hours later, Morinth's Apartment
Shepard's heart raced, something out of fear and something out of anticipation. There had been more to Morinth than he expected. He'd been lying through his teeth about himself, but the sinking feeling he'd had about seducing her had turned into an actual desire to do it. He wanted to know if he was good enough for her to consume. The danger... He'd forgotten what it was like to feel the opiate rush of knowing his adversary could easily kill him, if she wanted, but she wasn't going to because she wanted him. He hadn't been teased like this since... He couldn't remember when. Morinth was a confident, strong woman and she knew exactly what she desired.
So, he decided to toy with her as well, make her wait. The sex was better when the woman was impatient, but not in control. He wandered around her apartment, a strange deja vu rising in his gut. Everything looked familiar. Hell, that one sculpture looked like Corinthia's sty —
His stomach plunged. Corinthia. He'd forgotten about her. He'd been so charmed, seduced... All of his issues with her had surfaced, albeit indirectly, because Morinth had been everything he wished Corinthia would be.
"Come, now, Solomon," Morinth cooed. "Or can I call you Sol?"
Shepard closed his eyes. "If you have to."
"Touchy, are we?"
"Last girl I had liked to give me nicknames. I just don't want to have to make comparisons," he answered calmly.
Morinth laughed. "Because I'm that much better?"
"Because there is no comparison." Shepard touched the bas relief before him. "This is nice. Enig?"
"Very good. Yes, I bought this right as she started her career. There's something about her Achilles that always sends chills up my spine... Like you, actually."
Shepard smirked. He knew very well that every single Achilles Ariade had ever sculpted was based off of him, just as every Iphigenia was secretly Corinthia (it was her middle name, after all). "I knew her before she started her career."
"You must have been some kind of influence," Morinth purred. She shifted impatiently. Normally her prey didn't dawdle. On any other day, they'd be on their backs and Morinth would already be feeling the bliss of the joining... Oh, how she wanted him... She got to her feet and stalked up behind him, putting her hand just where his neck met his shoulders and pressing gently. She felt him shiver (though she thought it was with pleasure). "You know, I met her once as well. Pretty little thing, with some very dangerous scars... But she wasn't good enough for me."
"I get the feeling no one's good enough for you," Shepard murmured, turning to face the asari.
She traced a finger along his jawline. "I think you might be, if you're brave enough to try." She leaned in to kiss him, her eyes wide open and drawing him in.
Shepard avoided her at the last moment. "Funny thing about Ariadne. She's still my girlfriend."
Morinth smiled. "So that will make this all the more fun."
Before she knew what was happening, Morinth was flying across the room, hit simultaneously by Shepard's biotic barrier and Samara's biotic pull. Morinth was on her feet in seconds, screaming in betrayal, and attacking her mother. Shepard knew better than to get in the middle of cat fights, but this was going to end very badly if he didn't intervene.
Morinth and Samara came to a standstill, pushing against each other with their biotics.
"Shepard, help me!" Samara called.
"No, me!" Morinth screeched. "I'm just as powerful as she is. Just think of the power I can give you."
"Don't listen to her!"
Shepard shook his head quickly, trying to get Morinth out, and drew his pistol. "Samara, kill the bitch."
16 September 2185 — Main Battery, SSV Normandy, Omega, Sahrabarik System, Omega Nebula
Garrus hadn't missed Omega at all. They'd barely even opened the airlocks and he could still smell it: desperation, death, despair...
Shepard came in, sitting on some crate. He hadn't even bothered to wipe Morinth's blood off of his arms and face, which meant that he hadn't seen Corinthia yet, either. "Garrus," Shepard greeted wearily.
"Shepard," the turian answered. "Haven't seen you down here in a while."
"Been busy."
"Who's dead this time?"
"Samara's daughter."
"Does she know?"
"She killed her."
Garrus shook his head. "And this is why I don't date asari..."
Shepard's stomach twinged with guilt.
"You alright?" Garrus asked, frowning (as much a turian could, anyway). "The mission go that bad?"
"That isn't how I'd put it," Shepard muttered.
Garrus stopped fiddling with the guns and closed the door. "Alright, tell me what's eating you."
"You gonna play counselor?"
"You didn't come here to ask how I was doing with the guns, did you?"
Shepard hung his head. "It's Morinth. I can't shake her..."
"Morinth being...?"
"Samara's daughter. The Ardat-Yakshi."
"Right. Go on."
"She... She seduced me. Or maybe I did her. I don't know. It's all fucked in my head, now. Thing is, I went in there thinking that no one could have anything that Ci-Ci didn't, but the fact is that Morinth had a lot of things going for that that I wish Ci-Ci did. I just had been too... distracted to realize it."
"So you've got doubts. Everyone does. Hell, you know that I do, Shepard," Garrus answered, almost cheerfully.
"But you know I don't second guess myself," Shepard answered immediately, half desperate. "You know that I haven't looked at anyone except Ci-Ci since the first Normandy. What the hell's wrong with me?"
"Easy, Shepard," Garrus answered, awkwardly patting Shepard on the shoulder. "Have you talked to her yet?"
"How can I? Do I just go in there and tell her that I want her to seduce me? Act her age? Part of me likes her better when she's being Ariadne than herself..." Shepard sighed and ran his hands over his face. "She's childish, ignorant, dependent... clingy."
Garrus chuckled. "You can be that last one, too, you know. I can't remember the last time you guys actually hung out down here. I mean, she shows up every so often and starts up all kinds of mischief with Kasumi and the other girls when you're on a mission, but you..."
"I know. I'm feeling it, too," Shepard murmured. "The worst part is that she's making me go soft."
Garrus cocked his head to one side. "So is that what Zaeed was cursing about?"
"He's still pissed?"
"Yep."
"I guess it's warranted. I did to him what I did to you."
Garrus's eyes flickered darkly. He'd gotten over not getting his revenge, but part of him still wanted it. "That seems to be the theme... You're becoming a hero, Shepard."
"Don't remind me. I mean, it's great not to have Ci-Ci mad at me all the time, but honestly? I miss being able to do whatever the fuck I want. I so much as raise my gun at someone and I get her voice in my head telling me not to do it 'or else,'" he finished, mimicking her voice. "It's like I've got a tea-pot going off in my head twenty-four/seven. I REALLY don't like having a conscience. Hell, it was kinda fun to go ape-shit on everything like we did when we first set out."
Garrus nodded. "Yeah, I remember. All we needed was Wrex and we would've destroyed the galaxy before you could save it."
"I'm not sure that would've been a bad thing..."
"So long as you didn't side with the bastard we're still working for."
"God, I hope she lets me cut him limb from limb... I know Morinth would... She would've joined in, let me be... ruthless, but that's not the right word... Sadistic. Yeah, let me be sadistic..."
Garrus didn't know how to tell Shepard that the conversation was not, exactly, comfortable. "Then don't take Ci-Ci along. Or make sure that Imreas is the one along. What was going on with that, anyway? She better yet?"
"I don't know anymore. I'm not sure she does, either."
"It's why you've been leaving her here, right?"
"Yeah..."
"Well, if you want to do what you want, take her with you."
"And get her hurt again?"
Garrus shrugged. "Honestly, I liked her better when she wasn't... er... whatever she is now. You humans gauge beauty on completely different measures. We turians look at waists and hers is... supportive."
Shepard snickered. "Taking a liking to my girl?"
"When she isn't howling like a pack of space monkeys, yes."
"I was thinking cackling like a flock of sea gulls."
"I don't know what those are."
"The white rats that shit on everything."
"I haven't been to Earth."
"Oh... Right. Well, they're nasty, annoying..."
"You know that this is Ci-Ci you're talking about right now..."
Shepard nodded. "Yeah, I know... But still..."
Garrus crossed his arms. "So what's she done lately?"
"Asked too many questions," Shepard answered simply. "And she made me grow a beard..." He ran his fingers through his hair, which had grown quite a bit so that he no longer looked like a member of the military, and scratched his chin. As glad as he was to be rid of most of the facial hair, what was left still bothered him. "It itches like hell."
"So get rid of it. You're acting like she's the one calling the shots."
Shepard rolled his eyes. "Part of me wants to go back to how we were on the first Normandy..."
"When she practically ran away from you whenever you came near her?"
"No. That was Hell incarnate. I'm talking about when it was... Well, her clinging to me and not the other way around."
"I thought you said that you wanted her to be different..."
"I do, but I'd rather... Fuck! This whole goddamn mess is so fucking... ARGH!" Shepard slammed his fist into the wall. "I want her to be a woman, not some frightened child, but I don't want to need her like I do. I don't want to be afraid to lose her or really think that it'll happen. I'd rather she be shy and inexperienced and a virgin instead of... of... a horny teenager."
Garrus shifted uncomfortably. "Why haven't you talked to her?"
"Because the second she sees me she's going to pounce, kiss, and fuck me into submission," Shepard growled. "She talks all the time, never listens to me, lets me talk when I want to... She's just argues, doesn't get why I feel the way I do or how I'm even capable of emotion half the time."
Garrus shook his head. "You're asking the wrong person for advice, Shepard. I'm not exactly... experienced with females, especially of your species."
"Sorry, Garrus, but you're the only man on this ship I can trust, and it's not like I can message Alenko and ask... Not that he'd tell me much of anything."
"Why not ask Miranda?"
"And make Ci-Ci pissed at me? Hell, no."
"Shepard, I'm just trying to help. Fact is that no one on this ship except Ci-Ci can help you. Well, maybe Dr. Chakwas could, but the best I can do is listen and give you some funny anecdote about my most recent encounter with a female."
Shepard "I'll listen to anything right now if it'll make me suck it up and deal with it."
Garrus shrugged. "If you really want to hear it."
"I asked, didn't I?"
"Fine. So, turians run their ships with discipline... Not anything like you do now. We even have fights to let off steam, get out bad blood, you know the drill."
"Sounds like a good idea. Miranda versus Jack... That'd get bloody," Shepard mused, relishing the thought.
Garrus chuckled. "Ken and Joker would be down here in a heartbeat. Anyway, there was another soldier aboard, and she and I had always been competing. We were both good, but I had reach and she had flexibility."
Shepard raised an eyebrow. "So you fought."
"Yeah, and it was a draw... But we settled it outside the ring, later." Garrus's eyes glittered. "Like I said: I had reach, and she had... flexibility."
Shepard laughed. "I can see you being a ladies' man."
"Are you kidding me?" Garrus asked. "I get nervous hanging out with the female crew mates alone, even Ci-Ci."
"I get it with her. She's..."
"Insane?" Garrus offered.
"Yeah... Wanna go have some drinks?"
"Yes. For the old days?"
"We could even bring Joker."
Garrus chuckled. "I would like to see him drunk... but what do you think EDI will do to the ship?"
"Nothing," Shepard replied, standing and stretching. "No one here is going to do anything against me, or at least they'd better not after all the goddamn errands I've run for them..."
Garrus shook his head. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I miss the Alliance calling the shots. At least we knew what we were doing... even if it was annoying to be routed at every turn."
"Better than running blind into traps every single time we do something worthwhile..."
"He given you another mission yet?"
"Yeah. I've been avoiding it..." Shepard glanced towards Miranda's office like she was eavesdropping. "Honestly, I have a bad feeling about it..."
"And you don't want Imreas coming back."
"I don't mind. She's one hell of a better fighter than Ci-Ci is, normally. It's more like she was when I first met her on Elysium..."
"You should tell her, then."
Shepard snorted. "I can see how that works. 'Cassie, grow up. Now.'"
"Did you expect it to be perfect?"
"Yes," Shepard answered without any hesitation whatsoever.
"I thought you were a cynic."
"I was just bitching to you, wasn't I?"
"Yeah, you're definitely getting... what was that phrase you used? Hammer slammed?"
"Slam-hammered." Shepard clapped Garrus on the shoulder. "And we're going to get into a fight while we're at it, too."
"Oh, no. You aren't trying to out-drink a krogan again, are you?"
Shepard just grinned deviously.
Garrus shook his head. "We're going to need back up if I'm going to get you home."
"Joker?"
"Better: Mordin. I'm not even sure he'd understand us getting drunk."
"He'd probably start lecturing us about the alcohol's effects on our bodies," Shepard answered. "There's always Jacob... He might get a personality if he's hammered, you know."
"Grunt would just talk about beheading turians," Garrus mused.
"Ken would talk about what he thought every female member of the crew would look like naked."
Shepard scratched his chin. "What would Thane do?"
"That is a very good question."
"Should we invite him?"
"And pull a Ci-Ci? No. I thought this was going to be another man-night, but this time without bitching about how she doesn't know you like her."
"This time it'll be about all my issues with her and how the hell I'm going to propose"
Garrus blinked. "You're going to do that? In the middle of everything?"
"It's probably going to happen after a particularly bad life-threatening situation, but I'm not marrying her in the middle of all of this. We don't have time and she's got that imagination... God, if she puts me though a big wedding..."
"She wouldn't do that to you."
"We're practically married already, anyway," Corinthia interrupted.
Shepard stiffened. "Ci-Ci."
"Shep," she answered coldly, having clearly heard most of their conversation.
She hadn't had any idea that Shepard was annoyed with her, other than for her pestering him with too many questions... and his usual bits with her: childishness, clinginess, giggliness, childishness... No wonder why he liked Ariadne better. Corinthia tucked her hair behind one ear, her stomach sinking a little. She'd been so distracted by the advance in their relationship that she'd forgotten... She'd give him space. He probably needed it. He was working himself to death, running across the galaxy, and was growing more and more frustrated with the lack of progress. In a sense, she had the impression that his mission had, really, been to get her back. He'd accomplished that ages before and now was just itching for his kind of fight. He didn't even have her to fix anymore. He was a man of action and there was none to be had, not outside of their relationship.
Admittedly, she'd lost some of her spine. She'd been so afraid that Imreas would surface that she'd forgotten what she was capable of without having a dark side to come out and take over in a pinch. Then again, Shepard probably wouldn't let her off the Normandy any time soon. His protectiveness was endearing, but also irking her a little. She was a Spectre. She could handle danger. She had, with or without Imreas, and certainly could in the future. So maybe the Reapers were trying to tear her mind apart, but she just needed to be stronger.
"Garrus, would you give us a moment?" she asked.
Garrus nodded. "I'll just, uh... I'll find out what Thane does when he's drunk." He left guiltily.
Shepard crossed his arms. "Don't start, Ci-Ci..."
She held up a hand. "I'm not going to, Shepard," she said softly, "because you're right, about some of it. The fact is that we chose a terrible time to get together and you and I are just on completely different levels."
His stomach plunged. It sounded exactly like she was about to break up with him.
"And that's my fault," she continued. "I know that what I've been through is probably nothing in comparison to you, but I've... lost myself."
"Tell me about it," Shepard muttered.
She released a slow breath. "I'm not coming with you next time."
His eyes narrowed dangerously. "What?"
"Or the time after that," she continued, desperately trying to stay strong enough to say what she had to. "I've been living three lives and they're all... all too separate. Any traits I used to have that they took, I've lost... You've noticed, I know you have. So I just need... I'm going to Illium. I'm staying with Liara until I can... reset, I guess. Don't argue with me, please," she whispered weakly. "Staying here is just going to make it worse."
Shepard stared at her in disbelief. "So what about us?"
She hung her head, trying to hide her tears. "I don't know..." she breathed.
"So were you lying when you told me you loved me?" he demanded.
"Of course not! I just... just..."
"Just what? Can't handle it? You're a fucking coward, that's what you are. You're too scared to even say that this isn't working, that you're not ready for it, or that you're just hanging on to me because I'm the only guy that ever liked you, and guess what? I liked you better with the scars!"
She bit her lip and swallowed a sob. She managed to blurt, "I'm sorry," before she darted off to the elevators.
Shepard clenched a fist and gritted his teeth. He hadn't meant to yell at her, but everything was about to come to a head. His emotions had been running high from the last mission, anyway, and the fact that she'd eavesdropped just made him snap. He didn't even feel guilty for it, either. Part of him was determined to be angry with her and he was going to indulge it. She needed to get the point, too, that her giggling wasn't going to cut it in the future.
"Commander, Ci-Ci's trying to escape," Joker called over the intercom, Corinthia's racket as the pounded at the door echoing chaotically. "She's got a bag and Rufus with her. So... uh..."
"Let her go and take us out to the Fuel Depot," Shepard ordered.
"You mean we're leaving her here?"
"That's an order, Joker," Shepard growled.
Corinthia's din faded and Joker released a slow breath. "She's not going to destroy my baby, now, is she?"
"Just get us out of here and link me to the Illusive Man," Shepard hissed, heading to Kasumi's room.
She frowned when he came in. "You know, you shouldn't —"
"Fuck off," He snapped, grabbing the biggest bottle of liquor he could find from the bar and storming out.
Kasumi watched him leave, cloaked herself, and sprinted towards the airlock. But she was too late. The Normandy was already leaving. She cursed under her breath (making Joker look around and mutter something about EDI attempting to take control), opened her omni-tool, and quickly began writing a message. It was best the crew be prepared for an angry/drunk Shepard before he ended up cutting someone's throat.
Miranda entered the CIC. "Did I hear what I think I did?" she asked smartly.
"Yep," Joker answered. "Ci-Ci's bailed."
"This isn't good," Miranda muttered. "Go back."
"And piss of the Commander more? Yeah, right. I like breathing, thanks,"
"If she's not here, there's no hope of controlling him."
"Eesh. Not my problem. Talk to the Commander if you want. I bet he'll tell you to fuck off or something. That's usually what he does, anyway." A part of his screen flashed. Joker pressed the intercom button. "I've got the Illusive Man, Commander."
There wasn't any answer other than the elevator doors opening, a loud curse at Kelly, and Shepard snapping at Mordin as the professor started to try and analyze the Commander and Corinthia (again).
"Think she'll come back?" Joker asked softly.
"I hope so," Miranda murmured. She didn't want to relive the first few weeks aboard the Normandy when he'd been vengeful. It had been bad enough, but now that she'd chosen to leave, things would only become worse than ever before. Shepard didn't forgive easily and, from the sound of the argument, Corinthia had decided to leave him and it hadn't sounded like she was returning anytime soon.
"Yeah, me too," Joker answered.
"EDI, I want you to keep an eye on her," Miranda ordered.
"I will do what I can," the AI replied. "I may not be able to track her location, but I will keep her updated as to our activities, at least."
"Thank you, EDI. Do not tell the Illusive Man, either, or of anything else aboard. Submit your observations to me, first."
"Understood, Ms. Lawson."
Joker moved his chair up to the controls. "Looks like we've got new coordinates. Uh... where is that?"
"Where we're going next," Shepard answered, coming out of the comm room, still clutching his bottle of alcohol. "Get us there and don't bother me."
"Aye, aye, Commander." Joker shook his head. "Anyone else get the feeling that this is about to be very, very bad?"
"Yes," Miranda answered. "Definitely."