The flare of silver died, returning the room to the darkness from before. With unfocused eyes, Clancy looked to Etihvv. Was it really them anymore? She couldn't recognize their back, like they were a completely different person.

"Woo! That's done with." Turning on their heel, Etihvv faced Clancy with a bright grin. The red Pigment rested below their collar bones, although Clancy doubted it could be called red anymore. Corrupted. She had corrupted it. She couldn't even be called a Pretty Cure anymore, even if she wanted. Pretty Cure were the knights of light, they didn't—

"What… did you do?" She hoarsely asked.

"Hmm? Finally regain your voice?" Quickly crossing the short distance, Etihvv crouched down to eyelevel with Clancy. "I got rid of Aero."

"Think of this as your first favor back to me, 'kay?" A rough, calloused hand ruffled Clancy's blonde locks. "About a hundred more of these and we can go back to being friends."

Friends?

You left them to die.

You let Merle…

An intense wave of something washed over Clancy. She fell forward, one hand grasping at her mouth. Shoulders shook as her fingers ground their tips into the tiles. She had…

She had…

What had she'd done?

A wave of heat washed across the tiles, blanketing the room in a sweltering fervor.

She had let Merle down. Let her fight Etihvv alone. Blood bloomed under her nails, spilling onto the tiles in small puddles. She was too late again. Too slow. In making the decision, in making the turn. Clancy wanted to scream. It was like she was stuck in a cycle, doomed to repeat and make the same mistakes over and over again. Why was this the result?

"Hey, are you gonna stay on the floor forever? We've got places to be." Clancy's head snapped up at Etihvv's voice. Even looking straight at them, she couldn't recognize them. A trick? Etihvv would never do this. Even if she wanted to believe it, she knew it wasn't so.

Clancy struggled to her feet. Her body felt drained, her mind a frayed mess, but even then she still had to move. Move for what? She let everyone down, again. Let Merle die just like the Queen. Any resolve that was building up shattered as Clancy's legs slipped and her knees cracked against the stone.

"You—"

"We really do have places to be," said Etihvv. "So let's save the catching up for later, 'kay." Something red drew Clancy's gaze upward. Fixed upon a simple string was the cleansed red Pigment. Even from afar Clancy could feel the heat radiating off it. She was inexplicably drawn towards it, but also slightly repulsed. The blood that was spilled for it, was it really worth it?

It pulsed and flared with color, shining over the gray of Etihvv's skin. They took a step forward and Clancy had to will herself to not flinch back.

"What did you really do with Merle?" Clancy's voice was hoarse like she hadn't spoken in ages.

"Who? Oh, Aero?" Etihvv stopped walking forward. "I sent her back through a gate. To the one you entered from or somewhere similar." They scratched at the back of their head almost sheepishly. "I still haven't got the hang of jumping around without gates, especially with others," Etihvv said. "But, don't tell Tessur or Anneis that, I need them to think I'm super, ultra-powerful!"

Both relief and anger filled Clancy. Relief at the fact that Merle was alive; anger at the childish way of speaking. There wasn't humor in their actions. Only purposeful endangerment. Etihvv wasn't callous. Why did they become this way?

"Now come on." Cold hands grasped Clancy by the shoulders, hoisting her up. Clancy fought weakly, but got away easily.

"No."

"Easy, I'm not going to hurt you," said Etihvv.

"Like you didn't hurt Merle?"

"You did too," Etihvv quickly countered.

Clancy's mouth shut with an audible click. Her hands curled into fists against her thighs. The action hurt, her nails screaming in agony. She messed up, she knew that. But, she had the chance to right her wrongs. She had to hope she did. But, what would Merle think? She'd probably blame herself and not Clancy, which was just the way she was. She hated that about Merle, always thinking so little of herself. If anyone was a screw up it was her.

"I..." How was she supposed to defend herself? Why am I trying to defend myself?

"You're such a hypocrite, you know that?" Etihvv stepped forward. "Always talking about wanting to be a shining knight, but betraying the ones who care about you. Poor Merle, she just wanted to help you, but you couldn't even see that. Too wrapped up in your own little world— your own problems to see her own.

You pride yourself on being a hero, but you help the enemy. You helped me over your friend."

"You're my friend too." Clancy's voice cracked. Throughout their whole speech, Etihvv had gotten closer and closer. If she was thinking straight, Clancy might have reached for her Pigment, but instead her hands wrapped around the collar of Etihvv's shirt, dragging them down. Her bloody nails scrapped at the fabric, dying it red. "You're both my friends! How could I choose between the two of you?"

How could you make me choose?

"Hmm, didn't you already though?" If they were bothered by how close she was, Etihvv didn't show it. "Not helping Aero, staying by my side." Their cold hands once again wrapped around Clancy's wrists. With little effort they pried her hands off them.

She couldn't come up with a retort. They were right. She had abandoned Merle, left her to fight an enemy with almost a decade of experience over her. All because she didn't want to face Etihvv. And even now she couldn't. The words she wanted to say wouldn't come out. The emotions she wanted— anger, hatred even— wouldn't form.

A frown formed unconsciously, the jeering from a childhood long gone ringing in her ears.

You have silver eyes! How gross, are you really from here?

The grief that filled her left her insides empty.

The clock ticked in the otherwise silent room. A constant metallic click that helped keep Merle grounded. Complete silence was accusing and suppressing, acting as if it knew all her mistakes. The little noise kept those feelings at bay and dragged her back when her thoughts began to spiral. And boy, did they spiral.

Merle curled tighter on her bed, the blankets pulled taut against her body. She wanted to disappear or leave reality, if only for a little bit. Tears freely spilt down her cheeks into an already damp pillow. She was in her dorm so she could cry whenever she wanted, but the thought brought no comfort. After the bright, silver flash she didn't know what happened or even where she was.

Lying disoriented on some soft ground, her memories were a jumble. Like scattered puzzle pieces they made a disjointed picture, giving off the barest hints of something coherent. And of course with every puzzle it started to come together. Merle was behind the abandoned building of the school—when classes shrunk the building wasn't needed anymore— lying in the untrimmed grass. It was night, the full moon a shining disk above, but what day?

She was shaking.

What does it matter? The questions plagued her endlessly.

Merle began to sob until the pressure on her chest was relieved. But, even then the pressure on her heart wasn't. Her emotions were too mixed; the heartache just as potent as the anger at Clancy's actions. But, anger was a double sided knife, carving into her own chest at her own actions. How she hadn't been able to rouse Clancy or even help her friend.

And then the past slammed into her like a freight train.

Etihvv had beaten her. More importantly Clancy had betrayed her.

No. Betrayal was too harsh of a word. Betrayal had the undertones that Clancy had done it on purpose. She had just… not helped. Again, the thought brought no comfort. It seemed like every thought Merle had just hurt her more than helped. But, that wasn't anything new. So she tried to think of everything except the fight and of nothing. It was a waste of time.

Merle pictured a blank room first, everything else besides the image falling out of mind. It stayed stable for a second till she realized the walls were white. Etihvv. She'd never be able to look at the color the same way.

The blanket was becoming a hot noose around her body as Merle curled tighter and tighter. Held taut by the blanket her limbs ached in protest. Not that she was going to be moving anytime soon. No, just like for the past three days she was going to stay cocooned on the bed. Maybe I'll change if I stay here long enough; Merle grumbled slightly, become nothing, but a bug.

Rapid knocking interrupted her thoughts. Merle slightly lifted her head, but ultimately dropped it back on her damp pillow. For the first time in three days someone was visiting. What a joke. Was it a teacher? The principle? One of Monochrome's followers? The thought seized her. What if it was Anneis or Tessur come to finish the job?

She couldn't stop shaking. Merle struggled against the blankets for a few tough seconds. Finally she escaped the prison, her sweaty skin meeting air.

"Merle? I know you're in there," a muffled voice said just beyond the door. Merle willed herself to stop shaking. Sylvia. I don't know which is worse, that it's her and not one of Monochromes followers or that I never thought of her. Not that she thought about the girl often, Sylvia didn't even like her.

"Open this door." The door shook in place with each rapid knock, the wooden middle slightly bulging inward. Merle didn't move, instead lying back on the bed. Maybe if she didn't respond she'd go away. Let me waste away. She thought bitterly towards the other girl. I deserve it.

"I have the master key, don't make me use it," Sylvia threatened. A sigh left Merle's lips, but she still made no move towards the door. Use it.

The door opened with a bang. Light filtered in from the hallway in thick, straight lines right across Merle's face. She squinted her eyes, eventually bringing a hand to block it. It's been days since she's seen light, especially bright light like that.

Sylvia stepped in, eyes quietly scanning the room. She frowned at Merle's desk, the wooden top barely discernable from the mess, and continued to frown till her gaze reached Merle. Sylvia's face softened into a look that Merle could not identify. Her voice lost its earlier ferocity as she spoke, "Merle."

"What are you doing?" The question wasn't phrased like one. It was phrased like when someone knew what was going on and asked only to be polite. But how could she know? Sylvia wasn't a part of her life. She didn't even like her; she was only visiting because it was her duty. Merle fell under her responsibility. That was it.

Sylvia flipped the light switch on. The room flooded with fluorescent light making Merle shut her eyes.

"Don't you think you've locked yourself in here long enough?"

"Please go." Merle wasn't in the mood to deal with people.

"No way, now tell me what's wrong." Sylvia walked forward, stopping just shy of the base of the bed. Merle let her arm drop a little and peeked at the dorm manager. She wore the school uniform and had her bag with her, was it time for school already?

The bell rang distantly, answering the question. Merle shielded her eyes from the light again with a frown. If Sylvia stayed longer she'd be late to school. And it'd be my fault. Lately, it seemed like everything was Merle's fault. The bed creaked under new weight. Something brushed back the multitude of hair that was Merle's bangs causing her eyes to snap open.

"Not a fever," Sylvia said, leaning more into Merle's personal space. "What's wrong with you?"

Merle swatted the hand away. As if she could tell her. Her heart felt heavy again, heavy enough to break through her chest and out her back. Wouldn't that be nice, to be able to live without feeling, even if it were for just a little bit.

"You can't skip school for a week," said Sylvia as she finally gave Merle some space. Who cares about school? I failed to protect Clancy or even help her. There's a man coming to control this planet. Who cares? Who cares? Who cares?

A multitude of questions left the dorm manager's mouth when Merle didn't answer, all with that stern, lecturing voice she took with her often in the mornings. Most were about how she shouldn't skip, how if she was having problems to talk to her. What a joke. She only was talking to her because she was dorm manager. She didn't care for her personally, how could she?

"Come on, get it off your chest." Sylvia rubbed Merle's shoulder. Merle sniffled and finally noticed that she was crying.

"Please," she sucked in a ragged breath, "leave."

Another crying spell. Merle rubbed at her raw eyes, the skin burning in irritation.

"I'd be a terrible person if I did."

The tears left a bitter trail down Merle's cheeks.

"Absolutely not," Tessur gritted his teeth. For the past half hour he'd been arguing with Etihvv. Both were obstinate in their positions, refusing to even listen to the other.

"Why not?" Etihvv crossed their arms. How many times had Anneis heard that question? Too many to count. The two of them were arguing over the fate of the Pretty Cure; Vermillion. After the ambush at the Chroma room, Etihvv had brought her back. They were eerily cheery, grasping the girl around the shoulders and dragging her beside them like a child with their favorite toy. When asked about the other cure— Aero— all they would say was that she was 'dealt with'.

"She's our enemy, now go lock her up." Tessur crossed his arms. Anneis leaned forward on the white couch, shifting the bag of ice over her eye. Back and forth the two argued and it was beginning to get on her nerves. It didn't help that despite half her face being frozen, her eye refused to stop flaring in pain.

"Yeah, and rough her up a little too." She threw in her two cents.

"Enough Anneis," Tessur sighed, rubbing at his temples. She frowned and looked to his hand. The bandage had a blotchy, red line where it should be white. With a scoff, she looked away. It wasn't like she was the only one complaining about injuries.

"I think you both are overlooking a great opportunity," said Etihvv. With a slight yank, Vermillion stumbled next to the taller kid. For a moment it looked like she was going to say something, but instead her head dropped. "We got a hostage now! If Aero gets too tough for you both to beat then we'll just threaten Clancy." They ended their decree with a sung note. Anneis bristled, her fist threatening to crush the bag of ice.

"There's a thing called morals Etihvv, please acquaint yourself with them," said Tessur as he eyed the kid with disgust. "Plus, there are rules when taking prisoners."

"That's funny." With a Cheshire grin, Etihvv pulled Vermillion closer to them. "I'm just trying to use our resources to their fullest potentials so we don't lose again."

Lose. Is that how they were seeing it? True, it wasn't like the crushing defeat of the Land of Canvases, but it was still a win. Anneis frowned. Was she trying to fool herself? What happened was merely stopping the objective, it could barely be called a win. Even then, they didn't stop Aero from recovering her Pigment, the one she tried so hard to corrupt.

"If we're just gonna argue in circles, I'm leaving." Etihvv turned on their heel, dragging Vermillion along with them.

"We're not done here," said Tessur as he marched after them.

Idiots, Anneis leaned back into the couch. A cold fury coiled in the pit of her stomach. It wasn't an absolute victory. All her thoughts led back to that notion. As a solider she should be happy that they all got out alive, but she couldn't even begin to feel that way.

For now she'd just wait till Tessur gave the word. Wait for the next plan, the next mission. Next time, she placed the ice over her black eye, next time I'll crush everything.

"So do you want to tell me what happened?" Sylvia probed again. Merle numbly shook her head. All remaining energy she had was gone, evaporated along with the tears. Of course, she was still sad, the deep aching in her chest remaining, but Merle wasn't going to lie and say she didn't feel better.

"Being stuck in a room all day is bad for your health, why don't we go get a bit of fresh air?" Sylvia slipped off the bed. Deft fingers brushed away imaginary dust while she waited for Merle to move. Except that Merle never did. She sunk lower in the bed and turned her head to not look at the other girl. When she noticed Sylvia said, "Come on. Don't make me drag you out."

"Please leave," Merle spoke slowly.

"You think I'd leave when I see someone in pain?" Sylvia crossed her arms. "Do you seriously think that?" It wasn't that Merle thought that, it was that she hoped she would. How could she articulate the words and just tell the girl to leave. Especially in a way so the other girl wouldn't hate her more than she already did.

Listlessly, Merle sat up. Her curls slipped past her sharp shoulders in thick waves obscuring her face. Sylvia tensed, almost stepping back. A pointed glare was aimed at her, black eyes drilling holes into the dorm manager. This time, she did step back.

"Leave." Merle tried to keep her voice level, but failed. If Sylvia was going to come in here because of her responsibility— not because she cared for her, than Merle was in every right to push her out. And if she didn't leave, well, no one could blame her for getting even angrier. She didn't need superficial friendships. Especially after how she saw the real ones end.

"Fine," Sylvia said quietly. "Just know you can talk to me if you need to."

With that, she turned and walked out. The door clicked quietly; darkness filling the room once more. Like a thick blanket it descended down upon Merle. She sank, her back arching forward almost painfully. She felt weary, but still angry. The emotions waged war on the inside, fighting for her full attention. What was she supposed to do?

"Just stop thinking… please," she begged.

More thoughts emerged. Thick, shadowy ones dredged from the corner of her mind; flares of others, burning no brighter than embers. More and more piled becoming a huge colorful parade of reasons that this was all Merle's fault. It wasn't hard to argue with the fact either. Slumping even further— her back still protesting— she let out a whine.

What could she have done differently? Why did this happen? She'd asked the question earlier, but it required a second look. And a third. And a fourth. Merle collapsed onto her side and onto the messy bed.

"I'm terrible." She couldn't even defeat one enemy on her own, especially when it mattered. She couldn't make her voice count to Clancy, especially when she knew the other girl needed her. And now she was unnecessarily rude to Clancy. How was she supposed to talk to people when she couldn't see how they worked; when a smile on their faces could be two-faced?

"Clancy…" Merle buried her head in the stale blanket. It was damp against her skin, soaking up all her tears and more. Her face was so open, reflecting what she was feeling on the inside. Even until the end. Even if Merle couldn't remember her face too clearly, she'd never forget that last look. How Clancy just looked through her like she was nothing.

All her thoughts were interrupted by a bell. It shrilly rang in the distance. Merle sat up, finally noticing how empty her stomach felt. That was the first lunch bell, maybe it'd be okay if she snuck down there. She didn't want to see people— or be seen by them, but something that wasn't a granola bar sounded good.

Slipping on a wrinkled uniform, Merle walked towards the door. But, her hand hovered just above the knob, never really grabbing it. Was a warm, actually cooked, meal worth everyone's eyes and thoughts? Wouldn't they all just be looking at her?

The only argument against the logic was her stomach grumbling loudly. What a weak argument. Merle sighed, pressing her head against the doorframe. It wasn't worth it. She couldn't take their eyes on a regular days, what made her think she could take it now? Plus, she might see Sylvia again. A warm meal wasn't much of an incentive against the dorm manager's glare or fake friendship. Merle's eyes traveled downward, locking onto the shining, blue Pigment that hung loosely from her neck.

She had half a mind to rip it off and chunk it to the other side of the room. This is all its fault. This whole thing was a mistake. What could one person do? Especially with such halfhearted resolve. Trying to protect someone when you can't even protect yourself. You're so stupid. Yet that halfhearted resolve also stopped her from throwing it away.

Whenever Merle looked at it she could feel her heart twist. The Pigment represented a core emotion, but not only that, it was the only way to save the Land of Canvases. Merle wasn't even going to touch that can of worms.

With a sigh, Merle lightly tapped her head against the door. What was she going to do? It was much easier with Clancy making all the decisions.

And just like that, the world filtered gray behind her eye lids in waves. Feeling weak at the knees, Merle hit the ground with a gasp of air. Where once was colors, although drab, was now gray. A breath caught in Merle's lungs leaving her chocking.

What the hell.

Her hand moved on its own, grasping the Pigment tightly.

Why is this happening?
-

Afterword: 7/13/16

Rewrote a little, fixed some stuff, still bad tho.