Tessur paced back and forth across the living room. Any more pacing and he'd start leaving a mark in the marble flooring. His usual ponytail was messier than usual, his fingers constantly running through it. After a few more minutes of hair pulling and pacing, he turned to Anneis who sat on the couch. "How are you so calm? Lord Monochrome is coming and you have your feet on the table."
"Seriously, I don't know why you aren't, isn't being calm your thing?" Anneis dropped her feet after she asked the question.
With a huff, Tessur drew himself up, jamming his hands into his pockets. "Lord Monochrome said he was visiting, why should I be calm?"
"He probably wants to wish us a good job. I mean, we've been doing pretty great," said Anneis. She flipped some long, gray hair behind her shoulder and gave a grin. "I mean, at least I have!"
Tessur fixed her with a glare. It was true, she had been doing a good job. So had Etihvv. The only one doing subpar was himself. If anything, Lord Monochrome was coming to reprimand him and give the others rewards. Maybe he'll even send me home. A chill crossed over his skin at the thought. "You've failed many times as well, Anneis." He lied.
"Yeah, well…" She scratched the back of her head.
"So maybe he's coming to reprimand you as well," Tessur continued.
Anneis didn't bother with a reply. She simply gave him a knowing look and a crooked smile. Slowly, he uncurled his fists and forcibly sat on the couch. He was being unbelievable and emotional. There was no place for emotions in the Land of Shade. The words had been drilled in him since… well, since forever. If he tried to remember the first time being told that all that came up was a blurry haze.
"He could've at least say when he'd get here. I mean, don't royalty have to follow strict schedules?" Anneis threw her hands into the air. Leave it to her to find something to complain about.
"Not all royalty," Etihvv answered from the doorway. They walked in with a bounce in their step. "Not that it matters much when Monochrome gets here."
"Lord Monochrome," Tessur snapped. "And maybe it doesn't matter to you because all you do is sit around, but for us who work it is."
They didn't reply, instead slouching backwards with a sigh. "I work too," they finally mumbled.
The rest of the hour passed like that, small quips at Etihvv's expense used to lighten the mood. Although, it was never fully dispelled; the coil of tension, simply growing smaller and tighter like a noose. It hung threateningly around the emissaries necks, heavy and ready. Even Anneis's naturally loud voice was somewhat subdued, her laughter silent. Nothing about her should be quiet, Tessur thought.
Before another hour could pass, there was a hollow knock that filled the room. All three emissaries stood to attention, hands behind their backs, heads up. It was then that Tessur remembered the state of his hair. No time to fix it, he schooled his face to a look of apathy and waited for Lord Monochrome to walk in.
His very presence demanded attention, cold charism dripping off his form. He walked with purpose, head held high. His black and white bangs fell into his eyes, but that didn't stop the gaze that struck Tessur. It was like staring into two black holes, his eyes sucking the very light from around his pale face.
"Good afternoon," Lord Monochrome said with a flat voice.
"Good afternoon," Anneis replied. Tessur tried to recover, tear away his gaze from the king and glare at her instead. Why the hell did she reply back? Lord Monochrome's eyes flickered briefly to her as if noticing her for the first time. She flinched, nearly stepping back. There were rumors at the castle, how Lord Monochrome's gaze had stopped the Queen of this land in her tracks and for the first time Tessur didn't doubt it.
"You… are Tessur, right?" He turned his look onto Tessur. For a brief moment, terror surged beneath his skin. He wanted to turn around flee. But, as quick as it came, it was gone, leaving a fumbling Tessur behind.
"Y-Yes," he said.
"Good, I've read your reports. They are very detailed."
"T-Thanks," Tessur forced the word out. He tried to keep his head up, imagining it held aloft by a stick, but at the praise he ducked his head.
"You have two prisoners, is that correct?" Lord Monochrome strode forward, walking pass the three of them and towards the hall. "I wish to meet with them."
"Of course," Etihvv said. They swiftly moved to Lord Monochrome's side, looking like they belonged there all along. "I'll lead you to them."
The ground roared and threw Clancy to the ground. All she could hear were the screams and roars from Dead-Colors. The air swelled with the noise, pressing down on her very soul. Her hands trembled as her fingers sank into the gray sand. Gray. Where were the colors? Where was the burning heat that accompanied the ground? The sun would heat the sand till it burned, but now it felt like ice. It wasn't right. None of this was right.
The Pigments dangled from her fingers as she brought them up. The only sense of warmth she could identify was from the red Pigment. Its glow washed over her cracked fingers, the heat accompanying like an old friend. It was hard to describe, but Clancy could feel something grow within her heart every time she looked at it. Like a small pinprick that was festering, it ate and ate.
"It's called betrayal," a voice sounded to her right.
Etihvv was lying beside in the sand. Their hair was disheveled, sand mixing with the fine white strands.
"Eti-"
"Why'd you leave me behind?" Their head turned. The entire side of their left face was torn, skin flayed open from scalp to chin. Blood dripped from the wound, little rivers coursing across their nose and eyes. Red beads were caught in their unmoving eyelashes. "You could have helped me." Even as they spoke, their lips didn't move. Their bottom lip was almost torn off, the flesh dangling dangerously close to falling off completely.
Clancy tried to scream. No noise would come out.
"You left me," Etihvv continued to speak. "You left me. You left me. You left me."
Even as the Dead-Colors roared and screamed, Clancy could hear them clearly.
"I didn't," Clancy said through the tears. "You were dead." The tears wouldn't stop. Her body shook with the act, fingers dropping the Pigments, legs sinking into the sand. "You were dead. I'm sorry." Her voice grew hoarse. "I'm sorry."
"Sorry isn't good enough," the corpse said.
"I'm sorry." Clancy buried her head in the sand. Hot tears still streaked down her face, blurring her surroundings. There was nothing else she could say.
The ground shook heavily, accompanied by the sound of crashing footsteps. Clancy dragged her head up, eyeing the horizon. Through the tears she could see the incoming Dead-Colors. They ranged from short to tall, fat and skinny, abstract to realistic. The growing line of gray swallowed the horizon, eating the sand and sky as they grew closer.
Clancy couldn't move. Her legs wouldn't respond.
"Help!" She screamed. "Someone!"
"Betrayal eats at the heart, Clancy," Etihvv spoke softly. Their hand curled around Clancy's wrist. "You've done to her like I've done to you." Their skin was so cold it burnt. As much as Clancy cried and tried to pull away, the hand wouldn't release her.
"I'm sorry." Her other hand pried into their waxy skin, yanked at the rigid fingers.
The army was coming faster. The ground rumbled with each incoming step. A screech split the air, followed by a rallying cry of distorted noise. When Clancy looked once more, they were upon them. Tentacles of black ink stretched across the sky like veins beneath skin.
The tips came down with a whistle, piercing Etihvv through the chest. Their body lurched. A fountain of hot red sprayed Clancy in the face. More tips sank with a crunch into the corpse, decimating it completely. Between the inks, Clancy could see their rib cage open like cracked fruit, their internal organs pushed forward for display. Another tip severed the hand that clung to her with a slick slice.
Clancy screamed.
And continued to scream as she awoke. The thin, scratchy blanket that was given to her was now a pool of fabric as she fought for air. She was gulping loudly, but not getting any. Finally, it was thrown to the side as well as the pillow. Her knees sank into the far too cool sand as she curled up. Whimpers escaped her lips, the only noise in the night. The blood splatters were wet against her skin. Tears dragged the hot liquid down her cheeks. It mixed as it ran, turning pinkish as it fell to her open palms with a searing pain.
She wanted to scream until her throat was hoarse, but couldn't. Instead, she shut her eyes. Squeezed them tight until the tears wouldn't fall anymore.
The second time she opened her eyes, Clancy saw white. She was no longer in the desert, but her cell. She swallowed thickly, forced herself into a sitting position and tried to breath. Like before, it seemed impossible to get a breath, but after a few minutes, she was breathing just fine. They were slightly ragged, like a knife cutting in and out of her lungs, but it was the best she was going to get.
Her hands unclenched from her thighs, blood dripping off from the ground fingernails. Small crescent indentions welled blood. With a small thud, Clancy's body slumped forward. She was so tired, more tired than when she passed out yesterday.
It felt like hours before she moved again. It could have been longer or shorter, it was impossible to tell time in the cell. Days melded into one long drawn out sigh, the night a quick blink. Her body creaked and cracked as she sat up.
Footsteps sounded down the hall, echoing in the broken silence. She could identify at least four, three of them obvious. She sat up further, eyeing the cell door. Four people? Who else could be here? Merle? The thought struck like a punch to the gut. No, she shook her head. Merle's footsteps were like a cat while this one was heavy.
He walked with gravity, his movements measured and drawing her gaze. She craned her neck to meet his eyes, black holes cutting through hers. Monochrome. It was like she had barged into the Chroma room once more, watching his looming figure fight with the Queen. Clancy stood quickly, ignored the dizziness that followed, and tried to keep her head high. Fear surged beneath her skin, but she tried to keep his gaze. His eyes still looked soulless as ever.
"Oh," he said. Clancy waited with baited breath for him to recognize her, maybe even sneer and call her a failure of a cure. The rest of the sentence never came. Silence filled the cell hall, the two peering at each other.
Finally, he spoke again, turning away. "You had another prisoner, show me."
"Aren't you interested in her? I mean, it took a lot to take her down and well, she's the red cure," said Anneis. She waved her hand at her. "That's a big feat! We took down a cure!"
She was silenced with a look.
"She's a thief and nothing else," Monochrome corrected, continuing down the hall. Anneis was taken back, hand limply falling against her thigh.
Clancy's face quickly betrayed how she felt. He still regarded her as insignificant. After everything and she wasn't even deemed a thorn in his side. Thief. The word tore like glass through her lungs. She wasn't a thief. She was a Cure. Right? Her fingers tore into the hem of her shirt.
Cures didn't help the enemy. They don't abandon their teammates. Monochrome was right. She was a thief parading as a hero
"He's not wrong." Etihvv crossed their arms. Of course they'd back him up.
"Don't belittle our work, Etihvv. She transformed with the Pigment, she's a cure." Tessur strode past them, quickly catching up to Monochrome. Anneis was quick to follow, her hands clenched into fists, a look of anger seared into her eyes. Why would an enemy defend her honor as a cure? No, Tessur is defending himself, Clancy mused. Being beaten by someone who wasn't considered a cure would destroy his pride. Clancy knew from fighting him that he was prideful, even if he didn't parade it like Anneis or Etihvv.
"Absolutely right Tessur, bring that up with Monochrome, will ya?" Etihvv rolled on their heels with a grin. When the two were far enough, they turned back to Clancy.
"Wouldn't that make me a Cure too? Maybe I should do a transformation in front of him."
She didn't answer. Etihvv was a traitor- a double agent, she shouldn't be talking with them at all. The very thought still made her throat tighten. Looking at their face— grayscaled but the same— she couldn't help but think that she had some part to play in this. If she had been there for them more, asked what was wrong at their ceremony, would this have happened? Or would they have truly died at that moment? Clancy leaned against the back cell wall. She couldn't think this was her fault, it made no sense.
"Is prison life hard? I can kinda relate." Etihvv dragged a finger down one of the many metal bars that made up the door. "Being stuck somewhere you're unfamiliar with…" They looked pensive. It was an emotion Clancy rarely saw on them. "No one around, no one to talk to… it starts driving you crazy."
"I'm not crazy," Clancy hissed automatically. Did they somehow know about the nightmares? Their silver eyes looked right through her as always, pulling away the masks and lies she tried to shroud herself in.
"I'm not calling you crazy."
The world narrowed around Etihvv, enveloped in shades of red. "I can read between the lines, Etihvv. Enough, now leave." The words didn't have as much venom as she wanted instead falling limp around her lips. Even now, she couldn't summon the rage she should be feeling.
Etihvv straightened, the smile growing. "I see."
You've done to her like I've done to you, the dream mocked her. The image of the corpse ghosted over Etihvv's features. Automatically her fingers wound up in her shirt hem tighter.
"Go." Her voice was strangled. "Leave me alone."
"Right, right. Don't expect me to stay away too long however, we have much to talk about." With a wink, they turned on their heel and stalked away. As soon as they were out of sight, Clancy's body folded with a sigh. How could she still be conflicted in her feelings? She should hate them, they were the enemy, but the years of friendship wouldn't let her. You're betraying Merle like this, the poisonous thought spread through her heart.
I know, and I'm sorry.
Merle loved her mother, no matter how over bearing she may be. Whenever she came home crying as a child or bursting with ideas, her mother was there to listen, her soft hands rubbed at the back of Merle's head, breathing out advice and comfort. Her photography job sent her half across the world half the time, but that didn't mean she stopped listening. Merle tried to call her once every two weeks just to keep her updated on what was happening, but for the last couple weeks she had ignored the self-imposed rule. After five minutes she remembered why.
"I was extremely worried about you, not a call for almost a month," her mother shouted over the phone. "Not only that, but I got calls and emails from teachers that you didn't show up to school for three days. You have some explaining to do young lady." Young lady. It was her mother's version of saying of Merle's full name. Not to say that she didn't call her by her full name, that was reserved for the most heinous offenses and had only happen twice in Merle's life. Each time had been in person, Merle not having the luck to have it over the phone.
"I…" Merle couldn't come up with an excuse. It made her sick to the stomach to lie, especially to her mother. The guilt would strangle her, so instead she gave a half-truth. "I was sick in bed."
"Sick? Is flu season starting? Do you have the flu?" Questions shot off like a gun.
"No... I don't have the flu," said Merle. Even if she wanted to, she couldn't give her mother the truth. Letting people know would just hurt them.
"Merle, I understand that sometimes kids don't want to go to school. The teacher is boring, the subject is boring or there are kids in the class that you don't like, but that doesn't excuse skipping." Great, her mother thought she was skipping. Although, she wasn't far off. "You need to go to school or else you'll fall behind. This could really affect your grades." Her mother's voice had dropped to soft and soothing.
"I was sick in bed," Merle said slowly.
"I highly doubt you were sick enough to not go to school," her mother replied, voice growing sharper.
"I was…" Merle repeated weakly. It was impossible to lie to her mother, she should have known.
"But you're good now?" Her mother asked slowly.
"Of course." Merle relaxed, laying further on the bed. Her mother believed her, that's good. There was still something wriggling around her stomach, making her feel sick, but Merle pushed it down.
"Anyways, I've got homework to catch up on." Merle looked across the room to her messy work desk.
"From those day's you missed? I would think!"
"Moth—"
"I'm just saying Merle, you get behind once then you start lagging behind again and again. Procrastination is a disease that starts with a single thought."
"I'm not lazy." Merle curled up further on her bed. No matter what she said her mother had a counter. Was everyone's parents like this? She hoped not.
"I know you're not, but some people might see you like that. You have to be aware of your actions Merle and your reputation. Your word is golden, you start lying and it's going to be tarnished, you blow off work and people will think you're a flake. I'm just being a mom and trying to make you cut off bad habits before they're ingrained," her mother said. Aren't habits already actions that are ingrained? Merle thought. Her mother was right however, even if she said it harshly. Merle couldn't just put off work. She nodded, realized she couldn't see the action and voiced her agreement.
"Glad you understand, I love you. And call me more. Love you!" Her singsong voice cut off. Merle let the phone drop to her lap. How she could change her tone at a hats drop was beyond Merle. Or even wring out a lecture from three words. Looking back, it wasn't as terrible as she thought it would be.
She didn't even mention the faintings. The school had reluctantly sent out emails and phone calls home of the sickness that seemed to be developing. There was a silence that hung like the early morning fog around the school because of it now. The students moved warily, eyeing the world with a distrust that shouldn't be. At least the ones that hadn't left. Some had been pulled out by parents while others had simply walked out the gates and had yet to return.
The students left were slowly choking on the uncertainty of what was happening and when it would strike next. Except Merle who was choking on something else entirely. The apologies that swelled in her chest, threatening to push from out her ribs like thorns when she saw how it affected everyone.
This wasn't her fault, she wasn't to blame. She knew that, but the thoughts still plagued her mind and shadowed her movements. I'm going to fix all this, stop Monochrome, the thought had become something like a spell, always giving her a smidge of confidence.
"I need to do my homework." Merle shoved the thoughts down and went to her desk. Notebooks and half finished worksheets were piled endlessly. If she worked hard, she'd be done by tonight. Focus on this, not Monochrome. It would be a good distraction. First would come the worksheets; she had math tomorrow and her grade needed to come up. The sound of pencil scratching on paper filled the silent room as she worked on equations that stretched into paragraphs. Hours ticked by, measured by the slowly sinking sun and the pile of work becoming shorter and shorter.
Finally, there was only one paper left. Slumping in the chair, Merle rubbed at her tired eyes. "If the teachers care so much for us they should give less homework," she griped. Taking a small break, she pushed away from the desk. Cold air seeped in from the open window forcing a chill to the already cold room. Joints creaked and moaned when Merle walked to close it.
By now the moon had risen, slanted on its side and partially hidden by the onset of winter clouds. Merle stayed standing by the window for some time, watching as the clouds rolled endlessly and smothered the inky sky. It reminded her of when she was around four. Her mother had taken her to the beach and they had watched the waves ebb and flow, inching towards their outstretched toes. Merle couldn't remember the country, but she did remember tumbling into the incoming waves with a shriek and her mother laughing.
Thinking of the phone call earlier, she dragged herself away from the window and back to the desk. She didn't need her mother to get an email about her less than stellar grades. Pulling up into the desk, Merle reached for the worksheet. Instead, a thicker paper met her fingers. She pulled it from underneath the worksheet with a wide eyed stare. Blue watercolor was caged in crude, uneven inked lines. This- the paper was dropped as Merle flung herself from the desk.
Clancy sat on Merle's bed, slightly humming an unknown tune. Summer air wafted through the open window accompanied by golden rays and insect song. It was a drowsy Sunday, schoolwork done and Pretty Cure business yet to be seen. Hopefully, there wouldn't be any Dead-Colors. Merle was fine with just sitting and tinkering with a robot. The gears and bands whirled to life with a controlled circuit, stopping when Merle clicked a button.
"If I may ask, what are you doing?" Clancy asked right by Merle's ear. She jumped in the seat, knees smacking the heavy wood desk. "Sorry, did I scare you?" Clancy sounded truly apologetic.
"Not… really," Merle mumbled. She put the part down, not meeting Clancy's eyes.
"I've been curious for a while, but what exactly is it that you're doing?" She leaned over Merle's shoulder— ignored personal space— and pointed at the gears. "Some kind of school project?"
"No it's a personal project," Merle spoke slowly and haltering. "I'm making a robot."
"Robot? What's that?" Clancy pushed away and walked to the other, messier side of the desk. It was completely enveloped in a mess of wires and circuits looking like someone had haphazardly thrown it together. They wouldn't be too far off. She picked at a seeming lone red wire, but half the others came with it. A scratching noise with a slight pop came from the tangle. With a yelp, Clancy let them drop. "Did I break it?"
"No." Merle kept half an eye on her, focusing more on another connecting two components. "Just the wires rubbing." It was odd that someone was taking an interest in what she was doing, but a welcome change. Her heart swelled and a wobbly smile kept forcing its way on her face.
"A robot is a machine that can carry out actions, usually by computer programming," Merle informed. "The ones I build are… simple."
"Simple? With this many wires?" Clancy poked around the pile again, this time keeping from grabbing them. "Is this what you were doing when we met?"
She was referring to Mark ii. Merle nodded.
"How amazing, we don't have anything like this." Her voice grew wistful as it always did when she mentioned her home. Merle turned slightly, noting that Clancy's eyes had grown distant as they always did. Purple dotted around her silver eyes, showing she hadn't slept. Merle couldn't think of one time she'd seen her without them.
"Do you… wanna watch?" The second the words left her mouth, Merle felt embarrassed. Clancy was just interested because there was nothing else to do in her room.
"Do you mind? I'd love to!" A giant smile stretched across her sharp face. Merle tried to exude nonchalance and shrugged her shoulders. She wasn't fooling anyone, not even herself. That wobbly smile from before quirked on her lips and wouldn't leave. Clancy plopped down beside her, resting her chin on her palm.
The two sat in relative silence, ever so often Clancy would interject and ask a question like what Merle was putting together. Merle would answer slowly, showing the separate parts and what they would do. Clancy had no base idea of what a robot looked like or should do, leaving her to explain what was the most basic concepts. Eventually, the newest project was forgotten on the desk, instead replaced with older robots that Merle had drudged up. They sat on the carpeted floor, backs against the desk and robots line up in front, ready for inspection.
"I made this one for a competition, it's supposed to be able to kick balls into goals and run around." It was rectangular shaped with multiple legs sticking out from the bottom. Tiny shoes curled up from the legs, the plastics multi colored. "There was another one too, but... it didn't work out." Merle rubbed her thumb along its soft, rounded edge. Her nerves had gotten the best of her that day, like they always did, and she hadn't actually gone to the competition. The robot had been abandoned in the dark recess of her closet and never pulled out again until today.
"Amazing!" Clancy gingerly poked one of its legs. It responded with a small gear whirl, snapping upwards and into its main body. With a laugh, her fingers played along the many legs like piano keys making them jerk and kick in a semblance of a dance. "Did you win the competition?"
Merle didn't answer, her hands tightening around the robot. How could she say that no, she was too much of a coward to even enter the building? That the measly three steps to the door had stretched to three thousand and she ran. "No." The word stuck like rotten splinters in her throat. She forced a shrug and put the robot down. Suddenly, it was too heavy.
"The judges must have been fools then." Clancy leaned back against the desk with a smile. Her whole body was relaxed, the tension that usually pulled her limbs taut gone. Her eyes seemed softer, lighter as her lips formed a smile. "I can tell you've got real passion for this. Watching you test and retest the pieces over and over with an intense look of focus. And building all of these—" she swept her arm out at the now messy line of robots. "—and always striving for better. It's admirable."
"Thanks." Merle was too embarrassed to say anything else.
"You talk a lot more when you're excited too!" Clancy laughed. Merle ducked her head away, cheeks growing warm. She felt like apologizing for monopolizing so much of Clancy's time when she could be doing something more important, but was interrupted before she could get a syllable out. "Are these your plans?"
In her hands was a black, leather bound notebook. The papers were ragged- torn out and shoved back in mercilessly. The plans were worse. Faded pencil drawings and illegible writing filled the papers. Clancy flipped through the book slowly, missing how Merle was still as a statue, not a single strand of hair moving. She didn't seem to be breathing, only focusing on her feet.
The pencil drawings transitioned into pen abruptly, becoming more visible in exchange for neatness. Different angles and ideas were scribbled hastily, as if they were put down the second Merle had thought of them. Finally, Clancy got to the last page. It was a clean sketch of the robot she was working on right now. Merle finally moved, gently grabbing the book out of Clancy's hands and snapping it shut.
"It's bad, I know it is, but…"her voice was thick.
"Can I have that last page?" Clancy blurted. "Or borrow it?" There was a sparkle in her eye, one that Merle hadn't seen before. Her whole body was coiled with bound energy as if she let go she'd spring up and out of the room.
"Have… it?"
"Or borrow it," she repeated.
Why would she want a terrible drawing? Nonetheless, Merle ripped the page out— to the choked gasp of Clancy—and handed it over. She stared at the page in silence for a long time before standing abruptly.
"It's getting late and I need to return home." She held the page tightly against her chest. "But, I'll be back tomorrow… so see you." Before Merle could get a word in, Clancy was up and out of the room.
Not a second later, Merle buried her head between her knees and let out a heavy breath. Why? What was she going to do with it? Why had she ripped it out? You could have just said no, Merle berated herself. The whole ordeal would be finished before it even started. But no, Merle couldn't say no because then Clancy would be hurt. Out of the two options, letting Clancy have her fun with the paper was easier than seeing her frown and shuffle apologetically. She shouldn't have looked without permission, Merle had just stared as Clancy flippantly looked through her private journal. Just let her walk on through her innermost thoughts. Stupid, stupid, stupid, she hung her head lower, bowing into herself. But the deed was done and Merle would reap the consequences tomorrow.
Accompanied by the melting sun and red sky, Clancy was true to her word and returned the next day. Her hair gleamed orange, the dark blonde strands reflecting the heavy sunlight. Maybe it was because she was from another planet, but her hair seemed to soak and reflect light, turning new colors in any light. "Here!" She brandished the paper.
It was heavier than before, weighed down with color. Unlike most robots, this one was not silver nor any other monochromatic color. Bright watercolor blue made up the base, almost the color of Merle's hair when she was Cure Aero. There were accents of darker blues along the edges, making the picture look 3 dimensional. The black pen lines hadn't been redone, instead thinly holding the color in.
"It's robot Aero," Clancy beamed.
"Robot Aero?" Merle repeated.
"Robot Aero." Clancy wore a smug smile, something that Merle had never seen before. The shorter girl stood taller, her sharp chin jutted up.
"You… painted it." A giant lull in thought filled her mind, not even words of thanks coming forth. She could only point out the obvious.
"Yes." She picked at her shirt, eyes roaming the room. "I… at the…" she tried to start for a third time, "In the Land of Canvases painting is a hobby that most people have. I myself enjoy watercolor… but, since it's fallen… I haven't been able to even pick up a paintbrush unless in battle." She tried for a laugh and failed spectacularly. "And seeing your drawing I just wanted to do something like that again so I… I filled it with color. And since you're Cure Aero I thought it'd be nice to be blue."
Merle's mind still was blank yet she found herself saying, "It's wonderful."
"Do you think? I haven't painted in a long time, I thought it would be terrible."
"Anything you paint can't be bad." Merle ran her fingers across the dips in paint and beside the inked lines. It was the first time she'd been given anything like this, how was she supposed to respond? And you thought she was going to do something bad, Clancy isn't like that. How could you doubt her! A sense of guilt weighed Merle's heart down, making her fingers tremble along the edges.
"I am abysmal at painting faces," said Clancy with a small smile.
"Thank you." Merle finally looked up from the painting. "It's amazing." No words could accurately describe how she felt, how her chest squeezed, her heart swelled and a flood of happiness ran through her nerves, making her toes and fingertips tingle.
"I'm glad you like it." Clancy smiled.
The page mocked her, sitting innocently on the desk. Merle couldn't help staring at it, her hands curling into fists. Her vision was clouded with red.
Tear it into pieces.
She wouldn't fight back.
Tear it into pieces.
The scar along her forearm pulsated.
Tear it into pieces.
Merle slammed her palms beside the page, angry tears brimming. Why couldn't she make Clancy listen to her? Why didn't her voice matter in those last moments? Were we even friends?
She sharply turned from the desk with a frustrated noise at the back of her throat. The tears were heavy, dragging her vision to her blurred feet. Dammit she should be over this! It's been weeks, almost a month since then. Rubbing roughly at her eyes, Merle collapsed into the chair. The poisonous thoughts came back often, whispering at the back of her mind and making her feel like those days she'd laid in bed wishing she would disappear.
It wasn't anything really new.
Why couldn't I do anything! Merle sank forward in the chair, hands cradling her head. Her hair fell like a thickly coiled veil, blocking her from the outside world. She needed me and I failed her just like I fail everything. Worthless, worthless, worthless! Her head sank lower till it was brushing her knees. Another frustrated note sounded from her throat.
Her self-wallowing was cut short by a knock to the door. Is this becoming a routine? Merle rose slowly with the bitter thought. The door opened to reveal a student she'd never seen before. She had amber hair and dark skin, though lighter than Merle's, and soft, melting brown eyes.
"Heeeeya Merle!" She leaned on the doorframe. How did this girl know her name? It didn't matter, because she was already talking again. "So you know with how a lot of kids were moved out by their parents, right? Or jumped the fences and left, yeah? I mean, did you see them do that? Totally in-sane!" She spoke fast and barely paused for a breath. "So there have been a lot of merging of rooms and changing of buildings and duos split to singles and singles to duos because the school is to-ta-lly haunted!" She said the individual syllables as if they were separate words.
"I live in a single room," said Merle. She had begged her mother all those years ago when she was moved to BlackWater Academy. Each year when she's registered again she makes sure she's still in a single. She had to get on her knees and beg one year, her mother exasperated for some reason.
"Oh yeah, I mean two people barely fit in a single!" The girl, whose name Merle still did not know, looked into the room. "Yeah, that's not what I'm here for. So I'm talking with Sylvia-"
"Sylvia?" Was the dorm manager budding into her life again? Wait… am I being moved? A cold fear chilled her to the bones. There was no way… right? They couldn't just move her to a double. Just because a lot of students left didn't mean they could just do that! She would have to stop building robots, leave behind all her tools. I would be sleeping on a bunk bed. No, no, no!
"Yeah, I asked who was nearby and your name came up since we're gonna be livin' close together for a while~"
"I…" Merle paused, trying to think of what to say.
"So if you wanna help me move in, that would be great." The girl barreled into the room with all the grace of a lion. Merle could only back away to not be hit. "You look like you have a lot of free time so help me carry my books and stuff."
"I'm not moving." Merle gripped the doorknob hard.
"Huh, of course not. I'm moving next door." The girl turned with a smile. "Did I make it seem like I'd be takin' your room? Haha sorry!" She bonked her head and stuck her tongue out. "I got ahead of myself again."
"So… you're…" Merle let go of the knob and took a deep breath.
"I'm your new neighbor. And since we share a lot of classes I thought I would talk to you and get some help." The girl turned quickly. She moved as fast as she talked.
Classes… together? The way this girl acted and spoke, even Merle would have taken note. She seems like a class clown.
"Woah, no need to glare. A simple 'nah' will do."
Ah, I think I recognize her… she's that one girl from psychology. We had a group project together a couple months ago. Merle crossed her arms and looked at her more analytically. Maybe not, that was someone else.
"Hellooo, Stone Wall, still tryin' to talk to ya," the girl said, waving her hand a few inches from Merle's face. Merle jumped back, a scream lodging in her throat. When had she got that close? She hadn't even heard her walk forward.
"Do you want to help me out or not?"
"No," Merle replied quickly. Why would she help someone she didn't know? At least when I'm not in immediate danger… she thought of Clancy briefly, bleeding as Vermillion, but quickly shook her head and the thought away. A feeling of anger briefly flared hot in her chest, but Merle quickly squashed it.
"Boo you're no fun. Sylvia said I should try and get you out so I thought I'd ask." The girl stepped around Merle and towards the door. Pausing at the frame, she turned and eyed the desk once more. "Hmm… actually, you might want to help me."
"No," Merle repeated.
"Haha nah, I'm serious." A smile crept on her face like a snake slithering through the grass. Merle couldn't identify the look she wore, but a sense of dread overtook her. "I mean, you've got some contraband on that desk over there… some might even qualify for weapons. But I can totally let it be our se-cret." The girl winked, but it did nothing to alleviate the dread that had settled in her bones.
Merle didn't speak, instead drawing back. So she had some contraband, everyone did. There was no doubt the girl in front of her had something that wasn't allowed. But theirs is makeup while yours is a welding torch. Merle bit the inside of her lip and looked down at her feet. That girl could really ruin her life by letting it slip just once. Her mother would get a call and Merle would be out with the rest of the kids who left.
I'm gonna be kicked out, my life is ruined. Her entire body felt hollow like someone had scooped out all her innards. I'll be the laughing stock of the school for years to come. Don't be like Merle that freak, she actually got in trouble for having contraband! The fake taunting rung in her ears, drowned what the girl was saying. Rumors would circulate and her character would be smeared and run down the drain. She was already a friendless loser, she didn't need to be an outcast for having something that wasn't even all that dangerous.
Why did that girl have to come in, if only Merle had stopped her at the door! This could have all been avoided. If only she and Sylvia didn't try and bud into her life all the time. She was sick of it. They were only using her, playing around with fake smiles to ruin her life. They didn't even like her so why couldn't they leave her alone. My door is closed and locked for a reason, can no one see why?
"I don't have much so help me out." The girl slid a slender arm around Merle's. She could only stop the little shocked jump she did when someone scared her. The girl dragged her out with a slight hum, not registering how much Merle tried to pull back. It was useless. Despite being almost a full foot smaller than her, the girl could easily tug her around with barely any effort. "And don't worry about the stuff on your desk, I was only kiddin' about turning you in. You get me, Stone Wall."
Merle didn't reply, the words going in one ear and out the other. She couldn't focus on anything except her own feet. Some students walked by, their eyes barely passing over the duo. It was enough to make a cold sweat form at the base of Merle's back. Don't look at me… don't look at me… Merle began to shake. She could feel their eyes on her, trailing across her back and the laughs- they're gonna laugh.
Her feet were lead balls being dragged across the hall. Why couldn't everyone just ignore her like before? It was a little lonely, but Merle made by. Even this girl is going to backstab me, her whole body was numb and hollow, only moving because the girl was dragging her like a puppeteer with a marionette.
She was soon down the stairs and across the campus to a dorm building Merle hadn't been to before. It was smaller compared to her dorm and eerily silent. The place seemed frozen in time, a thin line of dust putting the building to sleep. The stairs creaked as she was led up to the second floor, the wood looking a step away from breaking. It was hard to see in front of her, the lights were off early, but somehow she made it up without tripping.
But, Merle felt more at peace here than at her dorm. Not a single person was seen, not even heard. There was barely any light except from at the end of the hall with the moon. Even that was abysmal. The dorm manager isn't doing a good job. Instead of feeling the usual sense of exasperated anger at Sylvia, she actually felt a little thankful.
"O-kay! I only have a few boxes left, most of just books and junk so if you can help carry 'em, that'd be great." The girl bounded into the empty room and pointed at the last five boxes. Merle made no outward complaint as she picked one up. It was a flatter box, carrying something like posters. Merle picked up another testing that it wasn't heavy, which it wasn't. Finally the third box she set her eyes on, another small box that was improperly sealed, also barely weighed anything.
Merle decided to grab all three and make it just one trip. Then she could part ways with this backstabbing, lying girl and hole back up in her room. The girl picked up the other two, managed a short thumbs up, and led the way out.
"Yeah, I'm finally moving out of here which is kinda sad because that's been my room for like years," the girl said. "Even when everyone else moved out and the place was abandoned I decided to stick around because you know, livin' in an abandoned building is cool as hell. Though my gramps was like 'no way'."
Merle stopped at the edge of the stairs. Abandoned… building? She cast a look across the hall once more. In the small slits of silver light, she noticed half the doors were unhinged or rotting. The carpet was ratty and had holes in certain places as if animals or something had eaten away at it. Her stomach twisted, threatened to come up her throat.
She's crazy, Merle concluded. Absolutely insane.
"Hello, gotta leave now, hurry up!" The girl called from below. Merle jumped, her foot slipping at the stairs edge. She reached for the railing, only to grab a sharp piece of wood. Next thing she knew, her limbs were tangled and boxes were going through the air. Pain burned in multiple areas like she'd been tossed around.
"Merle! Merle are you okay?" A voice vaguely sounded above, but she couldn't place it.
"Clancy?" She shut her eyes in pain.
"No, it's me Meena," the voice said. "I think you hit your head, are you- did you hit your head? Do you need to go to the nurse?"
"I don't… need ice," Merle sat up. The pain was evenly spread throughout her back, but nowhere else. "I'm fine."
"I don't think you are. Oh, oh no, oh nooo. You're totally gonna be bruised all over and-"
Merle sat up sharply, almost colliding with Meena's head. The girl backed away just in time. She then proceeded to stand. Her back protested the action sending Merle to lay back on the ground. "I'm fine." Great, now Meena could tell the whole school of how she fell down the stairs. She was handing bullets to the girl holding a gun to her head. A wave of mortification made Merle's stomach twist and her cheeks heat up.
"I can totally carry you back. If- if you want that is. I can get a teacher or a stretcher or call-"
"I'm fine," she repeated.
"You kinda did a sick roll, but I don't think that makes you fine," Meena countered.
"Sick… roll?" Merle was vaguely aware of tucking her body in like she was Cure Aero, but that was it.
"Yeah you totally did this roll, you're into martial arts right? It was something like that." Meena rubbed her hands across her shorts. "But, that doesn't mean you're fine. You might have hit your head or your ankle might be snapped. I'll call someone."
Merle sat up once more, grabbing the phone before she could make a call. "I'm fine." She forcefully pushed the phone back into Meena's lap. This embarrassment wouldn't be spread any further. She was nipping this in the bud like she should have earlier. None of this would have happened if I hadn't of opened the door. I never learn.
Once more, she tried to stand. The pain was tolerable; her ankles barely hurt and she was able to put pressure easily. "I'm fine," she repeated for a third time.
Meena didn't argue, just led her down the hall with unhelpful comments of 'watch out' and 'there's a step'; she wasn't blind, just hurting. Perhaps she thought she was. Who actually got startled and fell down a flight of stairs? No one.
It was hard to see outside, the stone path that led to her dorm bleeding into the grass. Or, more accurately the weeds had completely overtaken the path around the abandoned dorm and made it impossible to discern between which way was the way to go. It didn't help that Meena wouldn't stop babbling apologies. On one hand, a sick sense of appeasement filled Merle. She couldn't help but have the recurring thought of good, keep apologizing. Compared to the embarrassing feelings that grew as bad as the weeds however, she couldn't focus on it.
Meena quickly lead the two back to Dorm B. Golden light spilled from multiple windows, cutting into the dark in sharp rectangles. By the time the two reached the double glass doors, Merle was having trouble keeping up the façade that she was fine. Her back screamed with every step, tears threatened to fall out her eyes. Why did she have to fall with someone witnessing it?
"I'm still really, really sorry," Meena started again in front of Merle's dorm. It was the hundredth time she had said it.
"Go." Merle shook her head, pain jolting up her spine. Closing the door, she almost missed the misty eyed look Meena wore. Without a second's thought she proceeded to her bed and painfully lay down. For a while she just stared at the ceiling and listened to lazy sound of the fan cut through the air. A thought of my homework still isn't finished flitted through her mind, but she merely lazily turned her head and went to sleep.
Today was too much. She had better sleep it off and hope for a better tomorrow even if it seemed impossible.
Afterword: Woah! It's been months (almost half a year!) since I've updated. Surprise, I haven't abandoned the story :O. Huge filler chapter which originally was gonna be 10,000 words but I cut it down hahah.
As always, I would love to hear back from y'all whether it be comments or constructive criticism. We're beginning to get into the second arc which hopefully will be more thought out than the first.
See y'all next time~