A/N: READ ME BECAUSE I'M EXTREMELY IMPORTANT!
Okay, so, I made an agreement with my sister that if I didn't write until all my exams were over that she'd buy me a new charger. That means there will be no more updates until the 24th June, I'm so sorry to do this guys and just know that when I do update, I'll update like five chapters.
Second thing, the x-men fanfiction, I have a pretty good idea already and I've decided that I'd do the fanfiction as an Erik Lensherr/OC (Surprise, surprise I'm writing a fanfiction about the sort-of villian) so tell me your thoughts on that matter
Third thing, the last chpater was rubbish, I get that. It was the worst chapter I've ever written and it's okay if you hate it.
Fourth thing, I changed to title because I never liked Living Dead, I can't even remember why I picked that as a title...
Thanks to IkhandoZatman, Sco, Jezebel DeTrazie, Little Bucky, Savarra, heroherondaletotheresuce, Sabrina, vilevillian, musangel88, FantmeDuSoleil, Kima Wolfwood, Guest, BiancaTSparrow101, Icecreamlover26, buckysgirl, Castiel Angel Heart,
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
"Man only likes to count his troubles; he doesn't calculate his happiness."
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky
"Summer?" Bucky's voice called out in to her unlocked apartment, "you here?" He looked around the extremely messy apartment and finally got a good look at what exactly the trash was for the first time; obviously he'd been to Summer's apartment quite a lot of times through the past few months but usually he was too busy to really take a good minute or two to analyse Summer's apartment.
Though the front room was certainly the messiest throughout the apartment it also happened to be the most organised room. Blueprints and other bits of paper with illogical scribbles on them had been piled around the desk and there were a few books that littered the floor, left open on the last page that Summer had read up too. Then there were other objects scattered around, like pens, some umbrellas and there were even some spatulas that could be found.
A noise of acknowledgement could be heard from the bathroom and Bucky clambered his way to the opened room, Summer was stood in front of the sink brushing her teeth, wearing only Bucky's shirt that managed to reach as far as Summer's kneecaps.
"What do you want?" She asked, though it was slightly gurgled because of the toothpaste in her mouth.
Bucky blinked a couple of times, having to drag his concentration back to the issue at hand instead of the fact that she was wearing his clothes and just how perfect she did look in his shirt. "Umm…" he stalled, "I was just talking to Steve and he told me about your mum being in hospital." He explained.
"Okay?" Summer asked after spitting out the remaining toothpaste, she was obviously still confused as to why he had come to her apartment when they'd arranged the day before that she'd go to his apartment.
Her confusion only seemed to make him confused, "well… are you okay?" He asked gently, following Summer out into the living room where she settled herself down into one of the two arm chairs. "I mean, your mum had a heart attack…"
Summer shuffled in the seat so that the shirt covered most of her private parts, she then reached down and grabbed one of the many open books, pretending to read it but her mind was concentrated on other things. "I'm fine." She muttered distantly, trying her hardest to end the conversation.
"Do you want to go to the hospital?"
"Bucky, this is my mother we're talking about, why in God's name would I want to waste my time visiting the wretched woman at a hospital which is miles away?" Summer asked, looking towards Bucky as though he was the most audacious person she'd ever met. It was only a fleeting look and then she went back to staring at the book.
Bucky returned her mean look with an appalled expression. He shuffled in front of her, having to kick a few items around so he could stand in front of her. He was trying to be gentle with her but - as per usual - she was making it extremely hard to do. "Because your mum could die," he suggested calmly, trying to get the worst case scenario out in the nicest way possible.
"Good," Summer spat venomously.
Bucky stood frozen for a second after hearing Summer's rebuttal. He had met Summer's mother once before, her mother was called Felicia Scotts and the woman's personality could be described easily in one word: pretentious.
Felicia had constantly bragged about how great she was and all the stuff that was perfect with her, and then she would look at Bucky and Summer as though they were the scum of the Earth. Bucky had also noticed that throughout the whole meeting, Summer had become exceptionally cold. What she'd just said to him had confirmed Bucky's suspicions that something had happened between Summer and her mother that had left a scar in Summer's soul.
He moved backwards and set his body on the edge of the seat across from Summer. "What happened between you and your mother?" He asked calmly, clasping his hands in front of him and concentrating his gaze and mind of Summer alone.
The book in Summer had slowly fell to her lap as she looked at him and realised quickly that this conversation wouldn't go away until she finally opened up to him. "Remember how I told you that something happened to me, something that left me mentally incapable of emotions?" She started. He nodded his head, "well she did that to me." She finished, though she had given very little information away, Summer could already feel the lump growing her throat.
"But what did she do to you?" He pushed, annoying Summer even more with his pushy attitude, up until now he had been the perfect friend who'd never asked her personal questions and pleasured her in ways she'd thought were once impossible. She didn't reply at first, just looked down at the ground with pursed lips. "Sum-" He went to snap at her for ignoring him but was swiftly interrupted by an enraged Summer Scotts.
"You want to know what she did. You think you do, but I tell you then you'll leave… I know you will." She spoke through gritted teeth; she stood up and turned away from him while instinctively crossing her arms in front of her body.
Bucky followed her movements, moving to stand behind her. "Maybe that's what a normal person would do if they were in a normal relationship," he explained, "however, neither of us is normal and neither is our relationship. Just tell me."
She was swayed by his gentle voice and finally decided to admit her darkest secret to him, the one thing only Steve Rogers and her mother knew. She felt his hand press gently against her bicep, twisting her body back around so she was facing him once again.
"When I was fifteen we went on a sort-of holiday with 3 other people. My mother got really drunk and locked me in a room with her… she started telling me I was ruining her life, she started cutting me with a piece of glass from her whiskey bottle which she'd thrown against a wall…" You could clearly see that Summer was reliving the event now, her body was shaking and tears slipped from her eyes. "I tried to tell people but no one believed me, I even showed them the cuts but they thought I'd done it to myself so I could try and gain attention, no one believed me."
Bucky was surprised at the sudden innocence that appeared on her; as she looked up at him with wide, watering, eyes, he saw a lonely little girl who was destroyed on the inside. "Sum-"
"I spent so many years thinking about the holiday, every single day I'd think about it. People told me that I was being pathetic and that I was seeking attention. I was having flashbacks and every night I'd think to myself, what I did this differently or said this instead of that…" She stared into his eyes, obviously mistaking the slight narrowing of Bucky's eyes for judgment, as though he didn't believe her story just like everybody else. "And then one day I stopped feeling, I stopped trying and I stopped caring - it worked, it stopped all the flashbacks, at a cost. I lost everything, I lost who I was and now I can't go back. The holiday was my fault and now I'm paying for it every day of my life."
"What- how is it your fault?!" He laughed obnoxiously.
"Because I'm the one who became too much of a failure for my mum to stand." She whispered.
Summer expected Bucky to run away, to finally get fed up with her dramatics and walk way. What she didn't expect was him to hug her, to wrap his strong arms around her body and nestle his head on top of hers. "I'm sorry I pushed you to tell me," he regarded, "and what happened… you don't need to let it break you, it may take a while but you can go back to whatever you were like before. But if you ask me, you're quirks and imperfections are exactly what you so breath-taking." Bucky concluded, with a small smile. This smile was returned by Summer when she looked up in to his eyes and saw that he was genuinely speaking the truth.
"Thank you," she murmured, allowing herself to give him a gentle, but equally as passionate, kiss. When they parted, she grimaced slightly as an idea appeared in her head, ruining the moment.
"I still can't go to the hospital though," she spoke with a toneless voice, going back to her usual emotionless facade. "For the most part of my life I wanted to kill myself because I felt so guilty, I can't sit by her bed and pretend I care. That sounds horrible I know, but-"
Bucky finally takes his turn to interrupt her, "but you literally don't have the mental capability to care, I know." He puts on a crooked smile and kisses her forehead. Managing to repeat the exact same words which Summer was going to say, "and that's okay."
He spoke as though he was okay with her decisions, obviously after losing his parents at such a young age he knew the importance of saying your last goodbye. He was hoping his trick of reverse psychology would have its usual effect of making Summer do the opposite of what he said. And he also hoped that it would work soon as only God knows just how much time her mother had left.
"Where is she JARVIS?" Bucky questioned as soon as he'd stepped into the elevator, feeling it begin to lift up. Steve was stood beside his partner, tapping nervously at his leg with a racing mind. "I want to see her now." He demanded cruelty before the AI could even respond.
"I'm sorry Mr Barnes but I've been told to only allow you and Mr Rogers access to the living room." JARVIS replied, much to Bucky's dismay. The doors opened as soon as the AI finished speaking and Bucky entered the living room where Tony biting the nail on his thumb, not wearing his iron suit anymore.
"You," Bucky pointed towards the millionaire with a dark glare on his face, he stormed over to him. "Let me go see her now." He ordered, easily figuring out that it must have been Tony who'd blocked off their access to see Summer.
Steve realised this too, and he also knew that there must have been a reason for it and from the expression Tony currently adorned he easily deduced that they were about to be told the reason. "Bucky, you need to calm down," Steve suggested, pushing his friend down gently on the seat. "Tony has something to tell us and something tells me he'll need a clear mind when he tells us."
Bucky sighed, pursing his lips in order to stop any other angry remarks from leaving his lips. That probably wouldn't help him get to see Summer.
"When Summer took the serum to gain the healing power, it worked all over her body, except one spot in her brain where all the powers are centred - in a manner of speaking." He tried to explain in basic words so he didn't end up causing the 90 year old man to get confused. "That one spot just doesn't heal, it can't. It's the loophole in her body so to speak and there is literally a one in a billion- no, a trillion chance she'd ever get shot in that exact spot and I'm afraid that she did. I'm sorry to say this guys but Summer is dying, slowly and equally as painfully."
"What do we do?" Steve asked, Bucky would have probably asked the same thing but he was too distraught, too angry and too sad to even think about speaking a single word. Tony looked between the two and frowned; he felt the same way as Bucky and was secretly struggling to keep it together. He was only able to reply with a shrug.