"Leave your wands in your robes. Bow to each other. Then turn around. Walk 20 paces. Turn to face each other. I will say '1, 2, 3, duel.' When I say 'duel', you are to take out your wands and each perform a disarming charm, ONLY a disarming charm."
The two third years looked a little nervous, as Harry gave them their instructions for the very first duel. The rest of the students were standing in a row against the far wall, out of harm's way, as the two students Harry had selected stood facing each other in an area in the middle of the room that Harry had cleared out by pushing some desks to one side.
"Are you ready?"
They nodded.
"Okay, bow."
The students bowed, turned, walked away from each other, and then turned to face each other. "1, 2, 3 duel," said Harry.
Simultaneously, they both reached into their robes, whipped out their wands, and yelled "Expelliarmus." Jets of red light shot out of their wands, but neither reached the other student. One spell knocked a stack of parchment off of Harry's desk, and the other knocked over a chair. "Expelliarmus," they both yelled a second time. This time, one of the spells was right on target and sent the other student's wand flying out of his hand.
"Nice work, Mr. Bradford," said Harry.
"Thanks," said John Bradford, as the other student clutched his wand hand.
"It'll only hurt for a minute or two," said Harry. "You get used to it." Then he turned to the rest of the students lined up against the far wall. "You've just seen a duel. Who's next? Everyone is going to get a chance. You're all just going to do Expelliarmus today. No attacking spells. Now line up in two lines facing each other."
A girl in the front row raised her hand. "Professor Granger," she said. "I understand that Muggles don't use broomsticks. But what I don't understand is how they fly without them."
"They use airplanes."
"I know, I've seen airplanes," said the girl. "But airplanes go really high in the sky and long distances. What if a Muggle just wants to fly to a store a few blocks from their house. Isn't that too close to fly an airplane? How do they fly to the store?"
"They don't," sad Hermione. "Muggles can't fly without airplanes."
"They can't?" said the girl. "So any time they want to go shopping, do they have to apparate or use floo powder?"
"Muggles can't apparate," said Hermione. "They can't use floo powder. They're not magical people. They can't use magic."
The girl looked perplexed. "They can't apparate? They can't use floo powder? Then how do they get to the store?"
"Well, that depends. For example, they can walk. Or they can drive a car. Or they can take a bus."
"Oh, I've seen cars a few times," said the girl. "I always wondered what they were for. That's how Muggles get around?"
All of a sudden, a boy sitting behind her called out, "Wanda! Don't you know anything? How can you not know what a car is for?"
"Now, now, Mr. Mullins," said Hermione. "There's no need to talk to your fellow student that way. The students in this class all have different backgrounds. Some of you have had a greater opportunity to observe Muggles or interact with them than others."
"That's right, Professor," said Wanda Banks. "I come from a small village called Dalwhinnie. It's an entirely wizarding village. I've never really met a Muggle before. I saw cars a few times from the sky when I was flying with my mum, but I really had no idea what they were for."
"I understand," said Hermione.
"There's still something I don't understand," said Wanda. "Let's say a Muggle apparates to a store. Wait, I forgot, they can't apparate. Okay, let's say a Muggle walks to a store. And let's say it's raining outside really heavily. And let's say they do a protective charm to create a bubble over them so they don't get wet while they're walking. What I don't understand is whether…"
"Let me interrupt you right there," said Hermione. "Muggles don't do charms."
"They don't?" said Wanda. "Not even protective charms? Then how do they stay dry if it's raining out?"
"Well, they can wear a raincoat," said Hermione. "Or use an umbrella. And sometimes if it's raining a lot, they just get wet."
"They do?" cried Wanda. "But that would be so uncomfortable. Why don't they just do a charm?"
"They can't," said Hermione patiently. "They're Muggles. They're not magical people. They can't do charms."
"Oh," said Wanda. "I think I get it. It's just so hard to think about a person not being able to do magic. They must get wet a lot. When it's raining out, do they drink a protective potion before they go out to make sure they don't get sick?"
The boy behind her groaned. Hermione looked at him sharply.
"Miss Banks. Muggles don't make potions. They're not magical people," Hermione repeated.
Wanda looked embarrassed. "OK. I get it. I guess I just assumed that at least they made potions," she said. Then she added,"But there's still one thing I don't understand, Professor Granger. If Muggles don't do spells, then what do they use their wands for? What's the point of them even having wands?"
"They don't," said Hermione.
"They don't what?" asked Wanda.
"They don't have wands."
Wanda just stared at Hermione, thinking about what she had just said. She couldn't imagine all of the Muggles living without wands. Then it clicked. "Oh, I get it," she said, laughing. "They don't need to have wands because they don't do magic."
"That's right," said Hermione, still patient. "Okay, everyone, let's see how much you've learned. I'm going to ask some questions. Please raise your hand if you think you know the answer. If a Muggle gets sick, who do they go to?"
Wanda's hand shot up. "Yes, Miss Banks."
"They go to a Healer, also known as a MediWizard," Wanda answered confidently. John Mullins groaned again. Hermione gave him a sharp look.
"That is not the correct answer," said Hermione. A bunch of hands shot up. Hermione called on another girl who answered "doctor".
"Very good," said Hermione. Next question. "How do Muggles light up their houses at night."
Wanda's hand shot up. "Yes, Miss Banks."
Wanda hesitated at first. Then she said, "Well, Ms. Granger, I was about to say that they wave their wands and say 'lumos', but then I remembered that you said Muggles don't use wands."
Hermione smiled. "Very good, Ms. Banks. So how do Muggles light up their houses?"
"Well," said Wanda. "I know they don't use wands. And they don't use spells. And they don't use charms. And they don't use potions."
Hermione smiled. "Very good, Ms. Banks. So how do Muggles light up their houses?"
Wanda smiled. "I figured it out. You were asking us a trick question. Since Muggles can't do magic, they have no way to light up their houses at night. They either sit in the dark or go to sleep very early." Wanda smiled proudly, confident that she had figured out the right answer.
John Mullins and a bunch of other students groaned this time. Hermione gave them all sharp looks, although by now she was getting pretty exasperated with Wanda herself. Could a 14-year-old witch really know this little about Muggles? Hermione knew that the wizarding and Muggle communities were pretty separate, but she had no idea just how sheltered some witches and wizards were from knowing anything about Muggles. No wonder Voldemort had been able to gain lots of followers. If there were witches and wizards who knew this little about Muggles, Voldemort and his followers would have been able to say anything they wanted to about them, and lots of people would have had no way of knowing whether or not it was true. All of a sudden, Muggles Studies was feeling to Hermione like an even more important subject, and Hermione started wondering if maybe the wizarding community ought to start teaching it to their children at a much younger age.
Hermione looked around the room, and saw lots of hands in the air. She called on a blonde-haired boy, who said, "They use electricity to operate light bulbs," and Hermione smiled at him, saying, "Very good."
At lunch that day, Ginny decided that she'd waited long enough. "Guys, it's been weeks. I refuse to wait any longer. Let's go back to the Chamber of Secrets tonight and try to figure this thing out. Come on, Hermione. You know you're as curious as I am."
Hermione said, "Well, I guess…"
Ginny didn't wait for Hermione to finish her sentence. "Good, you agreed. Guys, you're both in, right?" she said to Harry and Ron.
Harry shrugged and said, "sure." Ron nodded, and as he shoved half a donut into his mouth, which was already filled with mashed potatoes and stuffed turkey, causing some jelly from the donut to ooze out of his mouth and onto the back of his hand and his cheek, he said something that sounded more like "gloor" than "sure" but everyone knew what he meant.
"Nice one," said Hermione, rolling her eyes.
"This is great, you should try it" " said Ron as he reached across the table to hand Hermione the other half of his jelly donut, which was oozing with jelly that was mixing with the gravy and mashed potatoes that had leaked out of his mouth onto it when he took his first bite.
"Good grief," said Hermione, "I'm going to the library. See you all later."
At 11:30 that night, the four friends were under the invisibility cloak, holding their invisible brooms. Hermione had made their legs disappear. They headed into Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.
"We might as well be prepared to get wet," said Hermione as she pushed the door open.
They walked in and pulled off the invisibility cloak. Myrtle was floating in the corner. She saw them, but this time she didn't say anything. She just looked at them and sulked.
"I guess she got tired of splashing us," Ron whispered to Harry.
All of a sudden, Myrtle moaned at the top of her lungs, "Go ahead, whisper about me. Make fun of the dead girl. Talk about how I'm dead and live in a bathroom. See if I care!" And she swooped through the air, flew down her toilet drain, and sent a splash throughout the room soaking everybody.
"Nice work, Ron," said Hermione, wiping the water off of her face with the sleeve of her robe.
"Thanks," said Ron, smiling. Then he waved his wand in a complicated motion, and all of a sudden everyone felt a warm gust of air and they were perfectly dry.
"Nice work, Ron," said Hermione with a smile. This time she was serious.
"Thanks," said Ron. "Just a little something I've been practicing in some of my spare time."
A few hisses later, all four of them were sliding down the pipe to the Chamber of Secrets. They walked back to the main chamber where they faced the statue of Slytherin.
"Okay," said Hermione. "The last tunnel we went down was the one on the right, and the door said 'try the other one,' so let's go back down the tunnel on the left."
A few minutes later they were in front of the original door. It looked exactly the same. They kneeled down to read the inscription on the door:
No Secrets Here. Try the other one again.
"It changed," gasped Ginny. "Hermione, you were right."
"Looks like we're going on another hike," said Ron.
After a very long walk, they were back in front of the second tunnel, the one on the right. They were all a little out of breath when they arrived. They kneeled down.
No Secrets Here. Try the other one again.
"Good grief," said Ron. "This is starting to seem like a practical joke. And I'm getting exhausted."
"Ron," cried Ginny. "We can't give up now. The inscriptions on both doors changed when we went back to them the second time. We need to go back to the other one again."
"Aren't you getting tired of all this walking?" asked Ron.
"Come on!" cried Ginny. "Don't be lazy. We need to keep going."
"Wait, I have an idea," said Harry. "We don't need to walk. We have our brooms. I'll fly back to the first door, the one on the left, and see if it changed."
"Be careful," said Hermione, "these tunnels are narrow."
Harry, hopped on his broom, and took off with a whoosh, disappearing around a curve in the tunnel. Two minutes later, he came streaking back down the tunnel and landed next to them.
"Well, mate, did it change?" asked Ron.
"Nope," said Harry. It still says, "No secrets here. Try the other one again."
"Looks like we've hit a dead end," said Ron.
"Come on," said Ginny. "We can't give up. Let's think of something."
All of their eyes turned to Hermione.
"What are you all looking at me for?" asked Hermione.
"Don't give us that," said Harry. "We have confidence in you. What do you think we should do next."
Hermione blushed. "Well," she said. "I'm not sure, but I have an idea. Each door changed each time we went to it. I mean they both started the same, but then each time we went back to each one it changed. Let's say we give up now. Let's say 50 years from now, some other kids come down here and find the first door. What do you think it will say? It probably won't say, 'Try the other door again.' That wouldn't make sense. They wouldn't have been to the other door yet. It will probably just say 'try the other door' and not change until they come back to it a second time."
"That makes sense," said Ron.
"Thanks," said Hermione. "Did I detect a tone of surprise in your voice."
"Stop the playing, Hermione. said Harry. "Go on. What's your point?"
"My point is that whatever kind of spell is on these doors, for it to work right the spell needs know when someone comes to a door whether they've been to it before so it can make the correct writing appear on the door. So it needs to be keeping track not just of how many times people come to each door, but of who comes to each door each time someone shows up. I think maybe when Harry went back to the first door for the third time, the spell could tell that the other times he came he had come with us. So when he showed up by himself, it didn't count. Maybe for it to work, since we all started this together, we need to all finish it together."
They all stared at her, skeptically.
"I'm not saying that it's right," said Hermione. "It's just a theory. But do any of you have a better one?"
They all grunted and shrugged.
"Okay, then it's time for us all to fly," said Hermione, hopping on her broomstick.
The three Quidditch players knew that Hermione wasn't as experienced at flying as they were. "Hermione," said Ron, "be careful in these tunnels. They're narrow."
"I feel like I heard that somewhere before," said Hermione. "Don't worry, I'll fly carefully." And with that, the four of them took off down the tunnel, but they flew a little slower than Harry had flown before to make sure Hermione could fly safely.
Pretty soon they were all standing in front of the first door for the third time. They kneeled.
Still No Secrets Here. Try the other one again.
"It changed again," Ginny gasped. "Hermione, you were right!"
"Yeah," said Hermione, "but that doesn't mean we're going to solve this treasure hunt. At this rate, we could be flying back and forth forever. And flying through that narrow tunnel was pretty stressful for me. I'm not sure how many more times I can do it tonight. I'm already getting sleepy."
"Let's make a deal," said Ginny. "We'll do it three more times tonight. And if nothing new happens, we'll just call it a night, and try again next time."
Three more flights down the two narrow tunnels seemed like a lot to Hermione, but Ginny was so excited that Hermione agreed.
Whoosh. They were standing in front of the second door for the third time.
Still No Secrets Here. Try the other one again.
"It's still working," said Ginny. "That one changed again also. Let's fly again."
Whoosh. They were standing in front of the first door for the fourth time.
You will not find any secrets HERE.
"Maybe that means the secrets are THERE, and not HERE," said Ron.
"Only one way to find out," said Harry. "Broomsticks?"
They hopped back on their broomsticks. Whoosh. All of a sudden Hermione screamed. She had fallen off her broomstick and was tumbling along the floor of the tunnel. Ron got to her first.
"Are you okay!"
"I… I.. think so…" said Hermione. "I got pretty banged up, but I don't think anything's broken."
Ron said "lumos" and saw that Hermione's face was pretty scratched up. "Should we call it a night and take you to Madame Pomfrey?" asked Ron.
"Call it a night?" said Hermione. "What kind of a wimp do you think I am? After what my friend Ginny did on the Quidditch pitch, I think I can take a little banging around and still keep going. Come on, let's find some secrets!"
"Wow, Hermione!"' said Ron. "You're a real trooper."
"Don't sound so surprised," she said with a smile, and gave Ron a little snog. They all hopped back on their broomsticks. Whoosh. They were standing in front of the second door for the fourth time.
Come in.