Chapter 15
"Tamsin, you with us? Your turn." Anne Teldy snapped her fingers in front of Tamsin's face, trying to get her attention. Any other time the action would have irritated her beyond belief, but she just didn't care tonight.
"Yep, sorry, Anne. I'm miles away." She studied her cards, two twos, a four, an eight and a three. "Fold," she said, laying her cards on the table and reaching for her beer.
"Damn, Lucas, you're off your game tonight. Missing Beckett?" Dusty Mehra teased, leaning back in her seat. Tamsin was pretty sure Dusty's smug look had more to do with her comment than the cards in her hand.
"Actually, I've had about twelve hours sleep in the last four days, thank you very much." Tamsin snapped. That was true, but Dusty's remark was closer than she wanted to admit.
"Woah, back off. Just sayin'." Dusty held up her free hand in a gesture of surrender.
"Sorry, Dusty. I'm just tired."
"Sure you're up for this? You look like you should be in bed." Anne glanced down at her own cards. "Raise you three," she said to Dusty and pushed forward three of the M&Ms they were betting.
Tamsin shrugged, one shouldered. "This is nothing. Try being on 24/7 standby for three months."
"Afghanistan?" Anne asked.
Tamsin nodded. "I was stationed at Bastion."
"I heard it was one big holiday camp. Pizza Hut and KFC," Dusty snorted.
Tamsin smirked. "Well, it was nicknamed Butlin's, but you couldn't get a decent drink for love 'nor money."
Dusty blew a bubble and eyed her cards again, matching Anne's stake. She had apparently forgiven Tamsin for her flash of anger. Tamsin considered the Sergeant for a moment – whilst they had rarely discussed truly personal matters, Dusty had once confided she still occasionally felt guilty over the death of Alicia Vega at the hands of Michael's early creations, though that whole mission had been a SNAFU from the beginning. When Tamsin had expressed understanding, Dusty hadn't pried, but seemed to accept that she really did understand.
"Show 'em, Teldy," Dusty grinned, snapping her gum. Anne raised an eyebrow, but the rules of the game said that all ranks and titles were left at the door. Tamsin could imagine Dusty getting some extra reps in PT otherwise.
"Two pairs." Anne revealed her cards.
Dusty grinned even wider. "Straight flush."
"Damn." Anne threw her cards on the table, and leaned back. "So, Dusty, how'd your date go? Dr Algotsson wasn't it?"
"Sven Algotsson from Botany?" Tamsin asked with a sly glance at Dusty. "She probably had him for breakfast."
"Uh-huh. And twice the night before. He was very … creative," Dusty drawled, popping another bubble.
Anne pulled a face. "I'm sorry I asked."
"They say it's the quiet ones you have to watch," Tamsin murmured.
Dusty's grin turned wicked as she eyed Tamsin. "Speaking of quiet ones, I have it on good authority a certain Scottish doctor was spotted near your quarters early one morning last week."
"Emergency call, I imagine."
"My source says he looked distinctly off-duty. 'Walk of shame' comes to mind."
"I'm not the only person on that corridor," Tamsin replied, launching one of her own M&Ms at Dusty.
The marine caught the sweet mid-air. "Seriously, though? What's going on with you and Beckett? Are you dating? Just 'friends'?"
Tamsin could practically hear the air quotes in Dusty's tone. "Just leave it, Dusty, please. It's complicated," she sighed.
"So un-complicate it," Dusty shrugged, crunching the M&M.
If the IOA would pull their fingers out and sign off on my study, it would help, Tamsin thought. "I'm working on it," she replied, hoping Dusty would just drop the subject.
"Another round, ladies?" Anne cut in.
"If you think you can handle another ass-kicking, Ma'am," Dusty challenged.
Anne gathered the cards with a steely look towards her subordinate.
Dusty was definitely in for some grief tomorrow, Tamsin decided.
SGA
A few days after poker night, Tamsin sat in a quiet corner of the infirmary reviewing charts. She noticed movement out of the corner of her eye and looked up to see Teyla leaning against one of the beds.
"Teyla, have you been there long? What can I do for you?" Tamsin asked.
Teyla shook her head with a smile. "I believe it is more what I can do for you, Doctor. We arranged to meet to share tea today."
Tamsin glanced at her watch. "Is it that time already?"
"We also arranged that I would meet you here to prevent you forgetting."
"It's not that I've forgotten exactly, I just got busy." Tamsin gestured to the paper work on the spare bed. "If you'll give me a few minutes, I'll put this lot away and join you."
Teyla nodded and took a seat on one of the stools that could always be found in the infirmary. Tamsin quickly filed the completed charts, and left the others in the office for another time.
"Lead on then, Teyla. And please call me Tamsin."
As they made their way to Teyla's quarters, she explained that she and Torren shared a suite of rooms in a section of Atlantis that appeared to have been designated for family housing. She told Tamsin that it had been discovered during the time the city spent on Earth, when they had time to explore without constant danger and threat from the Wraith or the need to trade. Jennifer, Rodney and baby Lily shared another suite a few doors down.
"John compared it to the suburbs and suggested we construct white picket fences along the walls," Teyla said as the two women reached her door.
Whilst Teyla busied herself with tea preparations, Tamsin wandered around the apartment. The minimalist Ancient design was complemented with a number of sculptures and wall-hangings in rich, vibrant colours. Some were of Athosian design, but others were in different styles – perhaps gifts or items purchased from off-world markets. A few small canvases hung on one of the walls. One was a view of Atlantis, the main tower bathed in evening light. Another showed a group of large tents in a forested area – Tamsin would guess New Athos. The final one was a portrait – Sheppard, McKay, Ronon and Teyla with a very young Torren on her lap. The arrangement was formal, but the artist had captured all four members in a relaxed moment – suggesting he or she knew the subjects well.
"Someone has talent, this is excellent," Tamsin remarked.
"Those are Colonel Lorne's work."
"Oh, I didn't know he paints. I'm sure he could sell these if he wanted to."
"Do you paint, Tamsin? You seem to appreciate art." Teyla approached, holding a tray between her hands.
"Me? No, I couldn't draw a straight line … I used to visit galleries back on Earth for a while." Until Rob died, she added. Apart from his interest in extreme sports, Rob had been something of a culture vulture as well, having been raised in a family who owned several original works of art. Guiltily, she realised she hadn't thought about Rob in weeks.
Teyla smiled politely, then swiftly changed the subject. "I see. I thought we could enjoy the tea on the balcony."
'Balcony' was something of an understatement – the outside space could easily pass for a small garden, complete with lush planting and a selection of child's toys, including what looked like an American football. Tamsin had a fairly good idea where Torren might have acquired that.
"It's lovely, but wouldn't you worry about Torren climbing the railings and falling?"
Teyla placed the tea tray on a low table and activated a small button near the door. A force-field sprang up around the space. "Rodney created this when Torren began walking. I imagine a similar one will be implemented in his own quarters when the time comes."
Tamsin found herself a little surprised at Teyla's words. What she'd seen so far of McKay suggested he was pretty self-centred and this seemed a rather unselfish act. Perhaps what Carson had said was true and the man wasn't as bad as he first appeared.
Teyla gestured Tamsin to sit on one of the chairs next to the table, then seated herself opposite. She reached forward and spooned herbs from a metal container into a small blue pottery bowl. Next, she poured boiling water from a large teapot into the bowl. She gently swirled the liquid while chanting. Tamsin didn't recognise the words, but assumed it was a blessing of some kind. Chanting finished, Teyla poured the liquid into two smaller bowls rather like Japanese tea cups, holding back the majority of the herbs with a sort of strainer. She passed one bowl to Tamsin with a smile.
"This is the tea that my people drink each morning, to prepare us for the day."
Tamsin took a sip. The brew had a rich, woody sort of taste. Of course the herbs were totally different to anything found on Earth, but there was something akin to saffron and nutmeg. There was also a kick of a clove-like taste and she coughed slightly at the strength.
"It can take a little getting used to. Although this has a similar effect, most people seem to prefer coffee given the choice," Teyla explained.
"It's unusual, but I rather like it actually. It certainly wakes you up. Does it contain caffeine?"
"No, I am told it contains an equivalent substance, but with almost no harmful side-effects."
"I suppose the taste puts a lot of people off, then, even if it's better for you than coffee." Tamsin thought for a moment. "Habits are hard to break. Do you have other blends?"
"I only have the few that I regularly drink, but there are a great many more that my people make for various effects. Some are purely ceremonial, others have health benefits." Teyla smiled and lowered her voice. "One or two are said to have amorous effects."
Tamsin chuckled. "I'm sure a few of those have been sampled by crew at some point."
Teyla still smirked. "I believe so, but I am sworn to secrecy."
They continued to sample teas, Tamsin asking Teyla about the effects and components. The Athosian attempted to share as much as she knew, but her knowledge was of the lore and history, rather than the more technical aspects.
"I confess I am not well-versed in the blending of the herbs and spices for teas – cooking has never been one of my strengths, as my team will assure you. Ronon, however, has a talent in the kitchen."
Well, Tamsin hadn't seen that one coming – her brief meeting with the Satedan hadn't suggested any culinary skills, but she thought the old expression "still waters run deep" was an apt description in his case.
"According to Ronon, Sateda had a thriving restaurant culture before the Wraith destroyed the planet. He told us that one of his sisters worked in a respected establishment and taught him to cook at a young age. He also mentioned that one of his grandfathers was a fisherman," Teyla went on.
"Actually, fishing and the sea play a huge part of the culture and heritage of Cornwall, where I'm from," Tamsin replied.
"I understood you are from the United Kingdom? Is Cornwall a separate part?"
"Well, no, Cornwall is a county rather than a country, although a lot of my country men and women would like it to be independent again."
Teyla looked slightly concerned. "Does it not make sense to join forces?"
Tamsin chuckled. "Oh goodness, it's mostly politics that happened hundreds of years ago, but it's still a part of Celtic heritage for some people, even today. I doubt it'll ever go back, though."
Teyla looked thoughtful. "I have heard Carson talk of 'Celtic pride'…"
Tamsin couldn't help her grin. "We take it very seriously, believe me, especially when there's alcohol or sport involved."
"Perhaps a similar heritage has brought you and Carson together," Teyla mused.
"Maybe, but we have a lot of other things in common. He's an easy person to be friends with."
"Carson has time for everyone, but there are not many people he is truly close to, although you are one of them."
Tamsin felt the warmth in her cheeks as she had a brief flashback to their last morning together. They'd been about to get even closer than Teyla knew when that bloody alarm clock had gone off. When she caught Teyla's eye again, the other woman inclined her head with a soft smile. "I think you both wish to be a great deal more than friends, but are afraid of hurting each other."
"The last thing I want is to let Carson down if I don't get to come back to Atlantis," Tamsin said.
"I understand, but sometimes there is little that can keep two people apart, even when everything seems to be against them."
"You think Carson and I are those kind of people?" Tamsin asked in surprise.
"I think you need to give yourselves the chance to discover if you are."
Tamsin snorted. "It's a nice idea in theory, but real life doesn't work like that. We're better off not getting involved."
"Very well, I will say no more on the subject. Now, would you like more tea? This pot is going cold I'm afraid."
They took more tea, discussing lighter matters. Teyla was the epitome of the polite hostess, but Tamsin couldn't help feeling that she had offended her somehow.
Torren returned to the suite a short time later greeting her as 'Carson's girlfriend', which Tamsin brushed off with a nervous laugh, taking that as her cue to leave. She thanked Teyla for the tea and company, then made her way to the door. Teyla followed her.
"Teyla, I'm sorry if I've offended you in any way…" Tamsin began as they reached the door.
"You have not. If I took offense at everything that was said to me, I would not willingly spend time with Dr McKay," Teyla replied with amusement twinkling in her eyes.
Tamsin smiled at the joke. She glanced at her watch, realising it was near dinner time. They said their goodbyes and Tamsin left the corridor.
She and Teyla had talked for longer than she had intended, but she decided to walk some of the way back to the mess. Teyla's words echoed in her mind. It was easy to tell herself that it couldn't work out with Carson when they were apart and yet she'd been the one to request a permanent transfer. She was afraid of hurting him, that was true, but when they were together there was the feeling that history wouldn't repeat itself this time, that they could have a life together. Next time she saw Carson, she decided, she would take the chance and tell him.
SGA
Carson gazed around the cabin he had been using as a clinic for the last ten days, checking he had left nothing behind. He had set up here in the village nearest the Stargate, and had been treating people from further afield as well. He had only had a couple of visitors the previous day and had decided it was time to move on to another planet.
He clicked the last case shut, slung his duffle bag of personal effects over his shoulder, and made for the door, collecting two more cases of supplies as he did so. Outside, there was a small party waiting for him.
The village leader Saris, a small, dark-haired man in his forties, stepped forward. "Doctor Beckett, we are most grateful for your visit these past days. You have healed many people, thank you."
"You're quite welcome, I'm glad I could help."
Saris clasped Carson's forearm. "Thank you again, and farewell."
With a warm smile, Carson bid the committee goodbye and set off in the direction of the gate. He would check in with Atlantis before moving on to the next world on his itinerary. After a short walk across a ploughed field, he reached the 'gate. He lowered his bags to the floor, then pulled out a canteen of water. He unscrewed the top and took a long drink, regarding the landscape. Drink finished, he turned to the DHD and dialled Atlantis. When the wormhole established, he transmitted his IDC.
A slight crackle told him the radio connection was active. "Atlantis, this is Dr Beckett checking in."
"Good to hear from you, Doc. We have a situation here and Mr Woolsey wants to talk to you." Chuck's normally cheerful voice sounded strained and Carson could hear Woolsey in the background. A moment later the leader's voice replaced Chuck's.
"Dr Beckett, I won't beat about the bush, we have a viral outbreak in the city and I'm recalling you."
"Of course, I'll be straight there," he replied.
With trepidation, Carson collected his luggage and stepped through the event horizon. When he emerged in the gateroom, Woolsey was already waiting at the bottom of the steps. Carson could tell something was wrong – there was a skeleton crew on duty and the city had a subdued atmosphere.
"Mr Woolsey, what on Earth's going on?"
"As I said just now, there is a viral outbreak in the city. I'll let Dr Lucas fill you in when you reach the Infirmary." Woolsey's tone suggested the infirmary was the last place he wanted to be at that moment.
"I'll head down there now," Carson said.
Still clutching the bags, Carson strode as fast as he could without actually running. He was fairly sure that Woolsey would have mentioned any fatalities, but this could be anything from a few cases of sniffles to a full-blown epidemic. And why did it sound like Tamsin was in charge?
Entering the infirmary, Carson was greeted by a hive of activity. Several patients lay on gurneys, most asleep, but a few sat up looking pale and sorry for themselves. He spotted a few staff in fatigues tending to patients – it looked serious if military medics had been drafted in to the infirmary.
A group of four staff huddled in a corner, clearly having an impromptu meeting. He hung back for a minute. He spotted Tamsin at the same time as she glanced over at him, offering a brief smile and a universal 'wait there' gesture. She scribbled on a chart and handed it back to its owner. Another doctor caught her attention and they spoke for a few moments, then the group broke up.
"Carson, I am very happy to see you. It's been crazy." Tamsin brought her hands up towards her face as if to rub it, stopped and grinned ruefully at him, then reached for a bottle of hand sanitiser.
"Mr Woolsey told me there's been an outbreak, but there aren't any lockdowns in place?"
"No, it's a Pegasus-borne virus, so the city doesn't see it as a threat. It's bloody virulent and aggressive, though. If you leave your things over there, I'll get someone to do your exam."
Carson deposited his bags in a corner out of the way and settled on a spare bed. Tamsin caught one of the PAs, Diego, Carson's mind supplied, by the arm and steered him over to Carson. Ethics dictated that a health professional shouldn't treat a family member or loved one, so he knew Tamsin was covering herself should their involvement become public knowledge. If Diego thought it odd that he was being asked to do the exam instead of Tamsin, he didn't let on - either that or he'd heard rumours about them.
Tamsin dragged a stool over and sank heavily onto it. She tapped briefly on a tablet before setting it aside and meeting his eyes. "It looks like we're dealing with a virus similar to 'flu – patients are presenting with headaches, fever, joint pain and nausea, developing extreme vomiting and weakness within two hours of admittance."
She went on to explain that the outbreak had begun five days ago with Airman Collins and Dr Miyazaki being admitted within half an hour of each other. Over the next four hours another twenty personnel had shown symptoms. None of the patients had been in close proximity to each other, leading Jennifer to conclude that the infection was airborne and highly contagious. Those already affected were quarantined and non-essential staff had been ordered to remain in quarters. The good news was that Collins and Miyazaki were showing signs of recovery after seventy-two hours and there were no fatalities so far.
"Collins was awake and asking for bacon and eggs yesterday morning, but both he and Miyazaki have managed to tolerate small amounts of food over the last twenty-four hours, so I'm hopeful the worst of it is over for them, although they're both still weak." Tamsin concluded her report looking drained herself.
Diego completed the exam and made himself scarce with a quick grin. Carson looked around the exam area and over to the office. "I don't see Jennifer, is she off-duty?"
Tamsin sighed. "That's the bad news - Jennifer and Amanda both fell ill yesterday. I'm the most senior person still standing. Well, apart from you."
He nodded. "How many people are ill?"
"As of half an hour ago, we have a hundred and fifty patients in various stages of illness."
Nearly half the expedition - we're not equipped to deal with that, he thought. "How are you holding up, love?"
She gave a thin smile that failed to reach her eyes. "Like a swan." Catching his questioning look, she went on. "You know, serene on top, paddling like crazy under the water?" She flapped her hands to illustrate her point. "I've had to request additional supplies to be sent through the 'gate and volunteer nurses from remaining personnel. Honestly, I'm just going one hour to the next. I'm really glad you're here."
He glanced around the infirmary, checking no-one was looking in their direction, then reached for Tamsin's hand. "You'd best put me to work then," he murmured, gently squeezing her fingers.
She nodded, returning the gesture with a half-smile. "Six hour rotations suit you?"
"Bring it on," he replied.
SGA
Some time later, Carson perched on a stool studying Dr Biro's latest report. The pathologist had been gearing up for a full verbal presentation of her findings, but he'd managed to politely direct her back to her lab. She still had boundless energy and enthusiasm despite working all hours, and Carson wondered, not for the first time, what her secret was. Since arriving back on Atlantis, he had lost track of actual days and was simply existing one rotation to the next.
Too tired to read the whole report, which he knew would be thorough to say the least, Carson scrolled to the conclusion. He was relieved to see that the last admittance due to the virus had been twelve hours ago and that nearly half the patients had been released to their quarters to rest. The very first cases had returned to light duties, with no lasting effects. It seemed that the worst was finally over.
There was a chirp on his radio, requesting his private channel. "Beckett, go ahead."
"Carson, it's Tam. I'm…not doing so well."
"Okay, where are you?" He was already on his feet.
"Home, my room, I mean… oh, not again." There was a pause and a rustle, followed by the sound of dry retching in the background.
"I'm on my way, hang on."
"Not going anywhere."
Signalling to a nearby orderly to follow him, Carson grabbed a gurney and headed to a transporter. The trip was brief, but it seemed to last forever to him. He reached Tamsin's door and it opened immediately at his mental request. He had the feeling Tamsin wouldn't appreciate the intrusion, even when ill, so he told the orderly to stay outside for the time being.
Immediately he spotted her curled in the bed, shivering and feverish.
"Hi. I'd get up, but…" she croaked.
"It's okay. I need to get you to the Infirmary, so your taxi's outside."
"Not going…to infirmary," she protested.
"You need IV fluids and possibly O2. I know you know that."
"You can set it up for me here."
"You also know that's against protocol and I can't treat you anyway."
She glared at him, but it lacked her usual bite. "Can't or won't? Bring the supplies and I'll do it myself."
Carson sighed and crouched down, catching her clammy hand. "Tam, love, you could barely hold a pencil right now, let alone start an IV on yourself. I know you feel awful, but why won't you go?"
"I don't want…anyone seeing me…like this. Can't get sick."
"I'm seeing you."
"S'different."
"How so?" He asked dryly.
"It's you."
For a moment he felt insulted, then it hit him – he was the only person she trusted enough to see her like this.
"Tam, nobody minds if you're ill, sometimes it goes with the job."
"Can't let people down."
He smiled gently, stroking a damp wisp of hair from her cheek. "No. You're definitely not letting anyone down. You've got us this far – time to let someone else take the reins. That's what teams are for, remember?" He couldn't help recalling the conversation they'd had just after the Genii incident.
She smiled briefly, clearly remembering the conversation as well. "Did you say you'd got a taxi waiting?"
"Aye, and the meter's running."
"Good job it's not after midnight then."
Relieved that she'd given in, Carson called the orderly inside and Tamsin managed to make it to the gurney more or less by herself. He'd guess it was sheer bloody-mindedness that got her there as she fell asleep minutes later. When they reached the quarantine area, he handed her care over to one of the nurses on duty while he quickly got into isolation gear.
By the time he made his way to the corner where Tamsin had been placed, she already had an IV and another nurse settled an O2 cannula in place. The nurse offered a quick apology that she had to check other patients and hurried away. Tamsin seemed more comfortable now with the fluids and oxygen working through her system, but he was reluctant to leave her. He had little choice as an emergency call came through on his headset.
Over the course of the next three days, Carson continued to keep an eye on Tamsin. He wasn't treating her directly, assigning her care to another doctor, but he spent a few minutes at her bedside whenever he could. Although logically he knew Tamsin was in little danger, the situation was horribly familiar and he clung to the hope that she wouldn't be the first to succumb to the virus. To Carson's relief, she woke around midnight on the fourth day declaring she could eat a horse and he knew she was on the mend.
When Tamsin returned to work eight days after falling ill, things had gone back to what passed for normal on Atlantis. The virus had run its course, with just over two hundred personnel taken ill over the previous two and a half weeks. She had been one of the last infected and there had been no fatalities. The medical department came to the conclusion that it was just another one of those viruses that they had no way of predicting.
Reading through her final report on the outbreak, Tamsin realised that she still hadn't heard whether her transfer request had been approved yet. Had she missed an email in the confusion? She finished the report, submitting it to Amanda's email as Jennifer was still technically on maternity leave.
She opened her inbox and scrolled through a number of messages. There were a few social notices, one from McKay promising ever-lasting retribution to the reprobate that decided to use lemon-scented air-freshener in the public bathroom next to the conference room, but nothing marked from the IOA or SGC.
With only five days left of her assignment, it looked like she was heading back to Earth. Trying to hide her disappointment, she made sure there was nobody waiting to be seen, then made a bee-line for the supply cupboard. It didn't hurt to keep on top of inventory and the piles of sheets and pillows wouldn't gossip if she had an emotional moment.
"Hullo, Tam, what are you doing in here?" Tamsin cringed. Carson was really the last person she wanted to see right now. She kept her face hidden. "Inventory," she mumbled.
"Inventory," he repeated neutrally.
"That's what I said."
She heard Carson take the few steps to the adjoining shelves and start scratching at another supply list. She knew exactly what he was doing - he'd wait all day if he had to, barring any emergencies. She also knew that he knew she'd crack just to be rid of the patient silence. It was one of the things she both loved and hated about him knowing her so well.
"I haven't had an answer about my transfer and I'm due to go back to Earth in five days." She risked a glance at Carson. He nodded, looking sympathetic. At the beginning he would have offered a platitude or an excuse, but again, he knew not to do that now.
He turned around to face her. "I'm sure you have plans, but if you're free on Tuesday evening, I'll cook and we could have a proper dinner. There are things I need to say."
She smiled, glad she didn't have to ask. "I'll have a few goodbyes to say, but dinner would be great."
He touched her shoulder as he left the space. "We'll work something out, I promise."
She could almost let herself believe him.