It was late April. Owls were flying all over the Great Hall, delivering letters and packages to the students. Hermione was eating her breakfast and reading her copy of the Daily Prophet when Pigwidgeon flew up and dropped two letters on the table, one for Ron and one for Ginny.
"We each got a letter from Mum," said Ginny, as they both tore open the envelopes and began reading.
"What does Molly have to say?" asked Harry.
"My letter is mostly about Percy," said Ginny when she finished reading it. "Mum goes on and on about him. He seems to be doing great in his job at the Ministry. And he comes home to the Burrow every Friday night for dinner. Seems like she's really happy to finally have him back again."
"Mine is mostly about dad," said Ron. "With Shacklebolt as Minister, dad is finally getting some recognition at the Ministry. Shacklebolt put him in his cabinet, so dad is now one of the top seven officials at the Ministry. He's one of Shacklebolt's top advisers."
"She also wrote about George. He's back up to his old tricks. When George and Angelina were at the Burrow for dinner last Friday, George enchanted Mum's apple pie. People tried to eat it, and every time someone put a forkful in their mouth, the pie would scream, 'NO! Stop! That hurts! Ow! Stop biting me!' She said, 'I don't know how that Angelina puts up with him.' She's complaining, but she sounds like she's really happy."
Just then, Harry noticed that Hagrid had entered the Great Hall and was heading up the aisle to have breakfast at the staff table. "I'm going to try something," said Harry.
As Hagrid passed their table, Harry said matter-of-factly, "Good morning, Hagrid."
"Mornin', Harry."
"Hagrid, what's under the pile of blankets in your hut?"
"It's not ready yet… I mean, nothin. I shouldn' ave said that. Nothin' under the blankets. Jus' a pile of blankets."
"When will it be ready?" asked Harry.
"In a few wee… I mean, nothin. I shouldn' ave said that. There's nothing there, Harry. Jus' a pile of blankets. Gotta go 'ave me breakfast now. See you later, kids." And Hagrid walked away.
"Harry, that wasn't very nice of you, tricking Hagrid like that," said Hermione.
"We're going to be graduating soon, and that's one mystery we've got to solve before we leave this place," said Harry. "There's something under the pile of blankets that will be ready in a few weeks. We're going to need to figure this out. Ron, what do you think it could be?"
Ron, who was shoving his fifth fried egg into his mouth, grunted, "Dunno."
"Hermione," said Ginny. "How is Harry doing in his N.E.W.T. studies?"
"He's doing great," said Hermione. "He's learning fast. I think he's going to be ready for the exams, no problem."
"It actually isn't very hard," said Harry. "The way Hermione explains stuff, I understand everything the first time she explains it. She's really a very good teacher."
"Thanks," said Hermione, smiling. "Sometimes I wonder. I'm teaching Muggle Studies after breakfast, and there's one girl in the class that doesn't seem to get it no matter how many times I try to explain it to her."
"Let me guess," said Harry. "Is her name Wanda Banks?"
"Yeah," said Hermione. "How'd you know?"
"I have her in my Defense Against the Dark Arts class," said Harry.
"Today," said Hermione, "we're going to talk about Muggle doctors. A doctor is the person a Muggle goes to when she or he gets sick."
"Sort of like a Healer or a MediWizard?" asked Wanda.
"Yes, sort of," said Hermione. "So let's say you're a Muggle and your throat hurts. You go to the doctor. Can anyone tell me what the doctor does?"
John Mullins raised his hand. "Yes, Mr. Mullins."
"The doctor conducts an examination to find out what's wrong."
"Very good," said Hermione. "Now who can tell me what kind of equipment a doctor uses to conduct the examination."
Wanda was excited, and her hand was flying in the air. "Yes, Miss Banks."
"The doctor uses tea leaves and a crystal ball. Right?"
"No, Miss Banks. Tea leaves and crystal balls are magical equipment. Muggles don't use magic."
Wanda looked dejected.
Another girl raised her hand and answered. "Muggle doctors use stethoscopes, and blood pressure cuffs, and wooden tongue depressors."
"Correct," said Hermione. "Can anyone tell me what test a doctor would do to find out what kind of sore throat a Muggle has?"
Wanda's hand shot up. "Tarot cards?"
"No, Wanda" said Hermione.
"Smoke patterns?"
"No, Wanda."
"Star reading?"
"No, Wanda."
"Dream interpretation?"
"No, Wanda. Someone else please."
A boy raised his hand and said, "The doctor does a throat culture. The doctor rubs a little stick with a cotton swab on the end in the back of the Muggle's throat and tests it to see what kinds of germs are growing there."
Some of the students grimaced at the thought of a doctor rubbing a stick in the back of someone's throat. But Wanda was totally horrified.
"Why would they do that!?" she cried. "That sounds like torture. Why don't they just do an incantation or something?"
"Because, Wanda," said Hermione. "Incantations are magic. Muggles don't use magic."
"Oh," said Wanda. "I forgot."
Hermione continued. "Okay, let's say it turns out that a Muggle has strep throat. What does the doctor do next."
Wanda was so excited she almost jumped out of her chair. She didn't even raise her hand. She just shouted out the answer, because she was so happy that she would finally get an answer right. "The doctor gives the Muggle a potion made out of three parts sage, two parts licorice root, one part knotgrass, and one part gurdyroot," said Wanda.
Joe Mullins groaned. "Mr. Mullins," said Hermione sharply.
Wanda looked downcast. "I forgot," she said. "Muggles don't use herbs."
"Actually, Miss Banks," said Hermione. "That is not true. Muggles do use herbs."
"Really?" said Wanda, her eyes brightening. "So, was I right?"
"Actually, no," said Hermione. "They do use herbs. They use them to cook with. They even use them sometimes instead of medicines because some Muggles believe that certain herbs can actually help heal them. But they don't use all of the herbs that you mentioned. One is a magical herb. Can anyone tell me which one?"
"Sage?" said Wanda.
"No," said Hermione. "Sage is a regular herb that Muggles use all that time."
"Licorice root?" said Wanda.
"No," said Hermione. "Muggles actually make candy out of licorice root. Just like we do. The herb you mentioned that Muggles don't use, Wanda, is gurdyroot. It is a magical herb."
"Oh," said Wanda. "But if the doctor leaves out the gurdyroot, and makes the potion just with licorice root and sage, does it still work?"
Joe Mullins groaned again. Hermione looked at him sharply. "Wanda, there was another problem with your answer. It's not just that one of the herbs you mentioned is magical."
Wanda looked at Hermione, with a puzzled expression.
"Wanda," said Hermione. "As I have explained before, Muggles don't make potions. Potions are magical. Muggles are not magical people. They don't use magic. They don't make potions."
"Okay, Professor Granger," said Wanda. "I know you've said that before. I've heard you say that. Really I have. But it just isn't true. I know it's not."
"What do you mean, Miss Banks?" asked Hermione.
"Well, Professor Granger, remember I told you that I come from Dalwhinnie, an entirely wizarding village?"
"Yes."
"Well," said Wanda, "one time, when I was six year old, I was flying with my mum. She was looking for dittany. She had heard that it sometimes grows in Dingwall, which is a Muggle village right down the road from Dalwhinnie. So she made us invisible and we flew right over Dingwall. My mum spotted some dittany in the backyard behind a Muggle house, so she landed behind the house and told me to wait while she picked some. Well, I was invisible, so mum couldn't exactly see what I was doing. So I walked around the house to the front to see what was happening."
"Yes," said Hermione, excited that Wanda apparently did have some experience with Muggles, "and what did you see?"
"Well," said Wanda. "These three girls about the same age as me were walking up the street wearing backpacks. They were talking and talking non-stop. I don't think they even noticed what was going on around them they were so busy talking to each other."
"Right," said Hermione. "Six-year-old Muggles are just like six-year-old witches in that way. They were probably coming home from first grade. Go on."
"They looked like nice girls," said Wanda. "One had straight brown hair. One had straight blonde hair. And one had blonde curly hair. I wanted to talk to them, but I knew I would get in trouble with mum if I did. Plus, I was invisible, and I didn't know how to make myself visible again. So I just watched them.
"Anyway, they must have lived in the house I was standing next to, because when they got there they all walked in. They must have been sisters. Maybe they were triplets."
"What happened after they went in?" asked Hermione. The whole class was waiting for Wanda to get to the point of this story.
"Well," said Wanda, "the window was open so I could see and hear everything going on inside the house. First, the mother said, 'how was school today?' and all three girls said, 'fine'. Then she said, 'what did you learn today?' and all three girls said 'nothing'."
Hermione's whole class laughed. They realized that Muggles and magical people did have a lot in common.
"And then one of the girls said, 'Mom, can we make a potion?'" And the other two girls got excited and said, 'Yeah, can we make a potion?' And the mother sighed, and said 'sure' and she went to her magical cabinet and started taking stuff out. You know, a magic bowl. And some magic spoons. And some magic measuring cups. And all these magical ingredients.
"And all three girls started making a potion. They were still working on it when I heard my mum walking back to the house with the dittany. So I ran back to where she left me so she wouldn't know I was gone. But, Professor Granger, my point is that Muggles definitely make potions. Even six-year-old kids. I didn't get to stay long enough to see what the potion did, but I know what I heard and saw, Professor Granger."
All the students in Hermione's class turned to look at her, waiting to hear the answer. Wanda clearly was a little slow in terms of understanding about Muggles, but she was very clear about what had happened that day. Hermione was just smiling at her.
"Miss Banks," said Hermione. "Did you notice what ingredients the three girls put into their potion?"
"Well," said Wanda. "Let's see. They used sugar. And flour. And vanilla. And chocolate chips. And milk. And food coloring. And baking powder."
Hermione was grinning. "Miss Banks, do those sound like ingredients of a potion?
"Well, no."
"What do they sound like?" Hermione asked.
"Uhm. They sound like ingredients for cookies or some kind of a dessert. But, Professor Granger, I heard them. They definitely said they wanted to make a 'potion'."
"Okay, class," said Hermione. "It's time I explain to you something about Muggles. Muggles don't really know much about the wizarding community. But Muggles, especially Muggle children, are fascinated by us. They like to dress up like witches. They write stories about witches and wizards. When they grow up they write books and make movies about witches and wizards. They even learn how to do tricks with cards and stuff, and they call it 'magic.' And, yes, Muggle children sometimes like to mix up ingredients and cook them and say they're making a 'potion'. It's a game they play. But, Miss Banks, Muggles do not actually make real potions. They can't. Potions are magical, and Muggles are not magical people."
"Okay," said Wanda. "I think I really get it now."
If you listened really carefully, you might have heard John Mullins whisper, "yeah, right," under his breath.
There were 70 students on the lawn down by the lake. Standing in front of them was Harry, and a huge ten foot thing, that was sort of in the shape of a very large person. It was made out of wet dirt and paper mache, held together with a lot of twisted wire. The weather was so nice that Harry had decided to teach his Defense Against the Dark Arts class outside. Plus, he needed a lot of room for what he had in mind.
"Sonorus," said Harry, and he spoke into his wand so all the students on the lawn could hear him. "Who can tell me what I am standing next to?"
"Is it supposed to be a cross between a giant and a hippopotamus?" called out one girl.
"Is it supposed to be a weird looking monster?" yelled out one boy.
"Is it supposed to be a big, ugly, shapeless mass?" yelled out another boy.
"No," said Harry. "I would like to introduce you to Charlie. For the rest of this class, he is a mountain troll."
"But it doesn't look like a mountain troll," called out the same girl. "It looks more like a cross between a giant and a hippopotamus."
"That's okay," said Harry. "Use your imaginations. Pretend it's a mountain troll. Just go along with it."
He waved his wand. "Now what is it?" asked Harry.
"A mountain troll holding a large club?" said the girl.
"Exactly," said Harry. "Now this is what we are going to do. I want you to all imagine you are being attacked by a mountain troll wielding a giant club. The troll has you cornered. You have no way to escape. So, instead, you will perform the levitation spell. Can anyone tell us the incantation for the levitation spell?"
A hand shot up.
"Yes, Miss Eldridge." said Harry.
"The incantation is 'wingardium leviosa'," said Myrna. "Not 'wingardium levioSA'," she continued. "The accent is on the third syllable. It is pronounced 'wingardium leviOsa.'"
Harry smiled to himself and said, "Correct Ms. Gran… Miss Eldridge. Okay everyone. When it is your turn, I want you to say 'wingardium leviosa' using this wand motion." Harry demonstrated the correct wand motion. "Your job is to make the club fly out of the mountain troll's hand straight up into the air, then fall down and land on the troll's head. That is the only way to knock the troll out and escape. The first one to score a direct hit on the mountain troll's head will earn five points for their house. Now line up."
At first, no one hit the club. But they did lots of damage to Harry's "mountain troll." Mud, paper mache and wire kept flying off of it. Every once in a while, after a lot of damage had been done to it, Harry would flick his wand, and his troll would be as good as new. Finally, one kid hit the club with a spell and sent it flying out of the troll's hand toward a crowd of students. Harry realized the flying club could do a lot of damage, and he had already sent his entire class to the hospital wing once, so he aimed his wand at the flying club, yelled "expulso", and the club exploded in mid-air before it could hit the students.
"Nice work," Harry called to the student. "You hit the club. Now let's all focus on sending it flying up, not out." Harry waved his wand, and there was a fresh club in the troll's hand. "Next," called Harry.
By the time every student had gone twice, most of them were hitting the club, and some of them were making it go in a sort of upwards direction. Before they started the third round, Harry said, "I want you to focus. Think about the wand heading straight up into the air and falling straight down on the mountain troll's head. Like this."
"Wingardium leviosa," Harry cried, waving his wand. With a bang, the club flew straight up almost fifty feet into the air, then came straight down gaining speed as it went. It fell like a rocket right onto the head of his troll, crushing the troll to bits. All that was left was a pile of mud, paper mache and wire. It had been an amazing display. Even Harry was impressed with himself.
"Well, doing it like that takes a lot of practice," said Harry. "All I want you to do is knock it on its head." Harry rebuilt his troll with a flick of his wand, and said, "Okay, it's almost lunch time. Everyone gets one more chance."
One by one, the students yelled "wingardium leviosa" sending the club flying into the air. It landed near the troll, and once or twice it actually hit the troll's arm or shoulder, but never the top of its head. Finally, there was one student left. "Wingardium leviosa," she cried. With a bang, the club shot like a rocket straight up into the air. It reached 50 feet and kept flying. When it was 75 feet in the air, it started plummeting to the ground, gaining speed as it went. It was coming down so fast, the students started backing away. Finally it came crashing down right in the middle of the head of the "mountain troll", crushing it completely to smithereens. There wasn't even a pile. Just a lot of dust. No one said anything. The students just stared in awe.
Finally, Harry said, "Five points to Gryffindor. Time for lunch. Nice work, Miss Eldridge."