Fluff and smut. This chapter is meant to be MA/NC17, but I wanted to keep the story within the T/M rating on this site. The full version of this chapter can be found on Archive of our Own (AO3), same title and pen name.

Chapter 16

Tuesday evening found Tamsin in her tiny bathroom, staring at herself in the mirror.

That's it then, she told her reflection. The long-hoped for eleventh hour email from the IOA had failed to arrive and she was due to 'gate back to Earth in the morning. She'd worked her last infirmary shift, said goodbye to more people than she'd ever expected to and received full hugs from a couple of unlikely sources, namely Dusty and Evan. After returning her uniforms and standard-issue kit to the quartermaster, packing had taken no time at all – her few personal items fitting in the small duffle bag she had arrived with six months ago. The room looked as though no-one had ever lived there, bare and soulless.

And here she was about to head over to Carson's quarters for dinner - he was cooking and had promised candles. She'd even borrowed a pair of shoes with actual heels from one of the linguists and decided to wear makeup. Not that it really mattered; he'd seen her in all her Pegasus-flu glory and still wanted her. That knowledge alone had her stomach twisting in anticipation of what the evening might hold. She promised herself she wouldn't hold back this time.

She tucked a few things into a small shoulder bag and slipped her feet into the black sandals. Tanya had offered a red pair, but that had been a step too far; she was going for classy, not desperate, after all. And really, why would you bring formal shoes on a scientific expedition, she wondered.

SGA

Carson glanced at the clock, noticing Tam would be along soon. He smiled as he chopped onions – he couldn't remember when he'd started thinking of her as that, it seemed like something he'd always done. He scooped the onions and garlic into a frying pan on the stove top and turned his attention to the tomatoes. He'd had to barter more than a few bars of chocolate to get those, but it would be worth it, he hoped.

A few minutes later the door chime rang. He wiped his hands on a cloth and crossed to the door to let Tamsin in. He smiled and gestured her in, then caught his breath as he realised the long indigo dress she wore had a split in the skirt that revealed rather a lot of smooth thigh as she walked.

"Hello, love. You look absolutely lovely."

She blushed slightly and ducked her head. "Thanks. You look good as well."

He caught her hand, pulling her a little closer and pressed a chaste kiss to her cheek. She smelled lovely too - jasmine once again, and something that he recognised as uniquely her own scent. He released her hand and stepped back. This might be a proper dinner date, but he was determined not to rush tonight. "Can I offer you some wine?"

"Wine would be nice, thank you," she replied, placing her shoulder bag over the back of one of the chairs.

Carson poured red wine from a rustic-looking bottle into two glasses, then passed one to Tamsin.

She eyed it a little suspiciously. "It's not ruus wine is it? I've heard the stories."

"Och, no, nothing that strong. It is Athosian though – a gift from Halling."

She took a sip. "Very nice." He spotted the sparkle in her eyes and her mouth quirked as if she was trying to hold back a giggle.

"What is it?"

"It is nice, but actually it reminds me of Ribena."

He grinned. "Aye, it does, but I wouldn't go knocking it back as if it was."

She raised the glass in a half-toast. "I'll take that under advisement." She sipped, half-watching him as she did so.

"I'll just get on with dinner. Make yourself at home. Put some music on if you like." He gestured to the computer sat on his desk.

She nodded, smiled and wandered over to the laptop, glass in hand. He watched for a moment, then turned back to the stove, thinking how lucky he was to be here now. He unwrapped the package of not-quite beef mince and added it to the onions frying in the pan. He heard a couple of taps from the computer, then Keanes' 'Somewhere Only We Know' filtered through the speakers. He realised they hadn't discussed much about actual likes and dislikes beyond rugby and the odd film.

"I always thought 'Hopes and Fears' is their best album," Tamsin remarked over her shoulder.

"You're a fan of them?" he asked, stirring the beef.

"Mm, I've seen them live a couple of times, although they're not my absolute favourite band," she paused and took a sip of wine, then grinned. "I used to get so much stick from some of the lads about liking them, but it was all part of the banter."

"The army, you mean? Do you miss it?"

She shrugged. "Sometimes, but here's not that different. So, which is your favourite Keane album?"

They chatted some more about musical taste as Carson finished preparing the sauce. He glanced back at her now and again, loving the animated expression on her face as they talked.

"Oh, I didn't think anyone was allowed pets here," Tamsin exclaimed.

He turned around to see her peering into the turtle tank in the corner.

"Technically, no. They belonged to…the original Carson. Rodney insisted on keeping them after he died. He still pops in to feed them when I'm away," he replied.

"I see. Um, do they have names?"

"Michelle and Jeffrey," he replied, keeping a straight face. That was what Rodney had told him the beasts were named and he'd not had the heart to change them.

She hid her smirk behind her glass, but he could see the mischief in her eyes. "There's me thinking it would be something worthy like Miescher and Levene."

He raised an eyebrow. "Or Watson and Crick."

"Ah, but they discovered the structure rather than DNA itself, so surely Miescher is your man? And how many people forget about Wilkins and Franklin?"

"Of course there's Mendel and his peas, as well."

They spent a few minutes debating the origins of genetic research before Carson realised he'd forgotten to put the spaghetti in to boil. That rectified, they turned to other topics.

A short time later they sat down at the table to eat. As he'd promised, it was complete with candles and a real tablecloth.

"No more shop talk tonight, I think," Carson said with a grin.

"I'll drink to that," Tamsin replied, holding out her glass. "It smells wonderful."

They clinked glasses and Carson tentatively waited for the verdict as Tamsin dug her fork into the bolognaise.

"I was right – it's fantastic, thank you." She flashed an appreciative grin.

"You're welcome, love. I just wish we could do it again."

She darted forward, catching his hand. "Carson, Don't wish the night away, we've got ages yet."

He sighed. "Aye, I know. I wish you weren't going though. Maybe I could visit you."

"I'm coming back. I promise you that." She paused, clearly gathering her thoughts before speaking again. "I can't give you up now."

"Oh, Tam, why didn't you say something sooner?" He could hardly blame her for being reluctant to speak up, but perhaps he should have been a bit more forthcoming himself.

"Honestly, I was scared. Still am, but I'll stowaway on the Daedulus or storm the 'gate if I have to."

Carson chuckled, but the firmness in her voice had him thinking she was only half-joking. "Hopefully it won't come to that. What changed your mind?"

"It was something Teyla said – we should give ourselves a chance to find out if we're the kind of people who'll be together no matter what. I just needed convincing."

He smiled, thinking of his friend. "She's a romantic, after all."

"Do you think she's a matchmaker as well as everything else?" Tamsin asked with a half-smile.

Carson considered that for a moment. He wasn't sure Teyla was into matchmaking exactly, but he was fairly sure she would like to see a friend happy, despite her own problems. "To Teyla," he said, raising his glass once again.

"Teyla," Tamsin replied.

After dessert they moved to the couch, bringing the remainder of the wine with them. They chatted for a while, discovering all sorts of new things about each other. He'd known they shared a number of ideals, but somehow finding out the more trivial details added to the whole. Carson even found himself admitting to having had a short-lived obsession with the grunge music scene in his early twenties. During a lull in the conversation, he realised this was the first time they had really opened up to each other and the honesty and trust building between them made him feel a wee bit light headed - it had been over two years since he'd felt this emotionally close to a woman.

He glanced down at Tamsin as she gazed back at him. He wondered why he'd never noticed the gold flecks in her eyes or the faint freckles across her nose before. Perhaps it was true that a person could become more beautiful the more you got to know them.

"I'm happy we got to do this at last," he said.

"Me too," she replied.

The warmth and affection in her tone mirrored his own and he felt compelled to thread his fingers into her hair and brush his lips against hers. Her eyelids fluttered closed as he kissed her again, lingering, but a touch firmer this time. His own eyes closed, savouring her warmth and the taste of the sweet wine on her lips. More kisses followed, sensuous and unhurried with her letting him set the pace. Though their previous encounters had been heated, he refused to give in to his baser desires – there was no chance he was going to push her.

Carson shivered as he felt her fingers stroke his neck and delve under the collar of his shirt, then undo the top button and brush his skin with a barely-there touch. He couldn't help kissing her harder and seeking her tongue with his own. The soft moan she made as they explored each other stirred something deeper inside him and he just had to hear it again. He fluttered kisses along her jaw and she tipped her head to the side, inviting him closer. Instead of continuing down her neck, he dipped his tongue just behind her ear. She let out a breathy yelp and grabbed his hair, pulling his mouth back to hers and into a hungry open-mouthed kiss. So much for taking it slow, he thought.

He eased back, still holding her, trying to reassure her he just needed a moment to gather his thoughts.

"Are you sure you want this?" he asked, fervently hoping she'd say yes.

"I'm sure. I've wanted you for weeks, I just didn't want to scare you… and I don't want a one-night stand."

He nodded. "Tam, if you don't come back…"

"I'm coming back, I told you that. Now shut up and kiss me." Her soft tone took the sting out of the words and he willingly complied, catching her lips in a kiss that began tenderly, but quickly moved into the decidedly heated variety. She responded eagerly, her left hand playing with the hair at his neck, the right going for his shirt buttons once again. It was his turn to sigh as she tentatively drew the backs of her fingers across his chest.

"Is that ok?" she whispered, catching his eyes worriedly.

"Very," he replied, encouraging her to firm her touch with his own hand. She gave that mischievous grin that he just couldn't get enough of and grazed her palm across his left nipple. Pleasure shot through him and he gasped at her touch. She mimicked the action on the other nipple, then pinched it lightly. He grunted and could feel himself hardening from her attention. Her hand moved lower and tickled his side. He jumped and grabbed her wrist – the tickling was just too much.

An idea came to him and he caught her eye with a wicked smile. She bit her lip as he changed his grip on her wrist and brought it to his lips. Not breaking eye contact, he gently kissed the inside of her wrist, then slowly licked the pulse point with just the tip of his tongue. She moaned and her eyes closed in pleasure, back arching slightly. That sent another jolt to his groin.

He surged up, pressing her back against the couch and claiming her lips in a devouring kiss. They kissed until they both had to surface for air. He pulled back, panting, and the sight of her flushed and aroused had his higher brain functions shutting down and his erection hardening painfully.

"Want you Tam," he murmured against her neck.

"You've got me. I'm all yours," she replied softly, skimming her hands down his back.

He moved and pressed her flat on the couch, careful to keep most of his weight off her. She moaned again and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him like she couldn't get enough.

He ran his free hand down her back and squeezed her backside through the fabric of her dress. She bucked against him and he needed more- needed to touch her skin with no barriers. He tugged at the fabric, gathering it up until he finally reached smooth, hot skin. His fingers sought more and he skimmed them against her underwear. She wriggled, pushing her hands against his shoulders and it took him a moment to realise she wanted him to sit up.

As he did so, she pushed the shirt off his shoulders and paused for a moment, taking in the sight of him. He knew he was a bit thicker around the middle than he used to be, but she seemed not to notice, biting her lip as if she was more than happy with the show. She met his eye with a seductive smile, then covered his neck, shoulders and chest in feather-light kisses and nibbles. It felt amazing, but he suspected anything she did would feel wonderful right now.

He drew her up into another heated kiss, both arms around her and his right hand seeking the zip of her dress. He fumbled, trying to pull the damn thing with one hand, then the other as well, but it wouldn't budge. He growled slightly in frustration.

"It sticks sometimes," she giggled, and reached behind her. He felt her fingers work the pull loose, then retreat, allowing him to finish the job. It thrilled him that she seemed to know the little things he wanted.

Slowly, he eased the zip down, the neckline slipping tantalisingly lower to fully expose her shoulders and the straps of her bra. Despite the thigh-high split the dress was otherwise demure, and he wasn't fully prepared for the sight of Tamsin in black lace as he slid the garment over her head.

"Oh, Tam," he breathed, drinking in the contrast of her pale skin against the expensive-looking lingerie. He longed to touch.

"I think you're a tad over-dressed," she practically purred and reached for his belt. It was almost more than he could concentrate on, but he had the presence of mind to graze his fingers across the tops of her breasts, making her gasp and fumble with the buckle. He smiled to himself and brought his fingers lower, tracing the edge of the lace and circling underneath. She moaned and one of her hands flew to the back of his head, bringing him closer. Her other hand still worked his waistband and she had the belt and button undone and was easing the fly down. He gasped as her fingers brushed just above the waistband of his boxers and he couldn't resist mouthing her breasts in response. She worked her fingers under the elastic to stroke the tips just shy of where he really wanted them.

He wriggled awkwardly out of his trousers, half-standing, half-sitting and managing to toe off his socks as well. He smiled and kissed her softly, before pressing her down again. This time, they couldn't seem to find a comfortable position.

"Bed," she breathed, and rose gracefully from the couch. She let him lead her to the bed and they lay down together. Now they were in bed, they took a moment just to hold each other and kiss gently – Carson knew it would never be just about sex for them, but he was surprised by the tenderness he felt. The heat flared as she reached around and squeezed his bum, throwing her thigh over his. He felt conscious thought recede and let instinct take him.

SGA

Sometime later, Carson lay on his back with Tamsin settled against him, his arm around her, her head resting on his chest. He gazed at her, thinking that he'd never seen her that relaxed or sated before. A little feeling of pride warmed him that he'd been the one to make her feel like that.

She stretched a little and tipped her head back to grin at him. "Mmm, that was lovely."

"Wonderful," he agreed, knowing he had an equally soppy expression.

She yawned and shivered slightly. He pulled the blankets up over them and yawned himself. She gave him a quick kiss, then rolled onto her side so they could spoon. He settled his arm over her, lacing their fingers together and pressed a kiss to her shoulder.

"Good night, love," he whispered. There was so much he wanted to say, but they were both nearly asleep and he wasn't sure he could find the right words anyway.

She mumbled a reply and stilled. He fell asleep deciding he would do whatever it took to hold onto her.

SGA

Tamsin woke the next morning with Carson's arms wrapped around her and his warm breath tickling her neck. The angle of the sun shining through the window told her it was later than she usually woke. The cold, sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach reminded her she was leaving both Carson and Atlantis in a very short time. She closed her eyes again, trying to commit the feeling of him curled around her to memory. Flashes of last night came back to her – his hands and lips on her skin, his voice, the feeling of him moving deep inside. The physical sensations had been great, but there had been something deeper – a connection, an intimacy she hadn't known she missed. Carson had made her feel cherished, desired and special. She groaned quietly – just thinking about it had her aching for a repeat performance and they didn't have time now. Plus she needed a shower.

"Mornin' love." Carson's sleepy voice didn't help the ache. She glanced over her shoulder at him.

Tousled dark hair, those ocean blue eyes and boyish dimples. God, he really was gorgeous first thing. If only she could wake up to that every morning.

As if he'd read her mind, he gently squeezed one of her breasts and rubbed himself against her bottom. She bit her lip at the feeling of him half-hard behind her and knew her control was tenuous at best.

"Can't, need a shower," she protested, but made no move to get up. His response was a soft growl and another wriggle of his hips. She should have known he'd be like this after the last time they'd woken up together.

Steeling herself, she sat up, the covers falling down to her hips. She jumped slightly as she felt his fingers on the spot on her lower back.

"I guess I got to know you well enough to see this, then?"

Tamsin knew he meant the four tiny stars tattooed just below her right hip.

"Yeah, you could say that." Also knowing he'd ask what they meant, she went on, "They're in memory of Mum, Dad and Gran." Now was definitely not the time to tell him who the fourth was for. She twisted away and stood up with a flirty smile. "How about that shower we didn't get the other day?"

A brief frown crossed his face, as if he knew he hadn't got the whole story, then he broke into a dirty grin of his own. "I thought you'd never ask."

He rolled out of the bed, grabbed her hand and pulled her willingly towards the bathroom.

For a long time afterward, they simply held each other, instinctively knowing words were redundant.

SGA

At 10.00 AST, Tamsin stood in the gateroom with three other personnel who were returning to Earth. She kept her expression neutral, hiding the emotions churning inside her. The past months had broken so many of the walls she'd put up and she could no longer switch the feelings off whenever she wanted. Not that she regretted coming for a moment – she'd seen and done so much in her time in Pegasus, things that so few people would ever experience. And then there was Carson and a chance at happiness and a future together. No bunch of stuffy IOA representatives was going to get in their way, she decided.

She glanced up at Ops as Amelia began the dialling sequence. This really was it. She clutched the strap of her duffle bag, watching the Stargate splash into life.

The puddle settled and she climbed the steps, turned back for one last glance, then stepped through the 'gate.

TBC

For those who don't know, Ribena is a popular brand of blackcurrant soft drink in the UK.

The turtles were named in a cut scene from 'Whispers' S5Ep7.