It was pure shock to Morgana.
Merlin, lying on the ground, covered in blood as the snow slowly fell to the quiet earth.
She walked slowly forward and noticed that Merlin had seen her.
"I don't have the strength to fight with you, Morgana," Merlin sighed. His eyes looked so empty.
Morgana stopped. Like Merlin could ever fight against her. Although, she considered, Merlin had before, and he had always won. How, she didn't know.
"Who… who did this to you. Maybe I should thank him." Morgana's voice betrayed her. She didn't sound arrogant at all.
Merlin actually laughed, but his laugh turned into coughing and Morgana involuntarily startled when she saw the blood.
"It was Arthur," Merlin answered, and his voice broke a bit.
"Arthur? Arthur did this to you? Why?" Morgana was shocked that Arthur would do this to his servant, but even more shocked at her own reaction. Never, even with her power of foresight, could she have imagined Arthur doing this to Merlin. It seemed so… wrong. Nothing, nothing could separate those two, nothing. And gods knew how hard she herself had tried to.
Merlin tried to move, but he couldn't. He could only lay there and watch the witch.
"It doesn't matter anymore. I failed. I don't have much time left. But, somehow, I'm glad to see you again. I thought that you were dead. After the battle, when we never heard any news of you, I thought that maybe you really died. I'm glad that you are still alive. So glad…"
"How you can be glad, Merlin?" Morgana kneeled beside of him. She looked at the wound. It was obviously deep, made by a sword.
"I never really wanted to see you dead. You have done so much evil, so much to harm us, but I never could forget who you really are, Morgana," Merlin smiled.
Morgana was shaking all over. Something was definitely wrong with this whole situation. She wanted to back off.
"Please, stay, stay with me." Merlin gripped Morgana's leg. His grip was weak and Morgana could have shaken him off easily. But she didn't. She felt a slight panic.
"Merlin…"
"Once you were my friend, Morgana."
Morgana felt the ice strike her heart.
"Yes, I was. And you were mine. And I thought…" Morgana looked away, remembering her own rising feelings toward the servant boy during that time. "Then you betrayed me. You took everything away from me. You, Uther, Arthur." But in her voice there was no hatred, only sorrow.
"Kind of, yes- but I had no choice. And it hurt me to do so. And when you came back, my heart broke when I realized the choices you had made, the things you had done."
"I didn't…"
"Everybody lives by their own choices." His voice sounded distant. "You can't blame anyone else for the choices you've made. I regret so many things, Morgana. And I'm deeply sorry. Did you ever think, though, that if you had told Uther everything, perhaps he would have understood? Uther loved you so much; you and Arthur were his children. Nothing is like parent's love, Morgana. Nothing. It overtakes everything. Love is such a powerful force. " Merlin closed his eyes and Morgana realized that he was crying. She could hear the pain in his tone. But she could also sense that this pain was from something other than his wound.
Suddenly Morgana wondered: what was it that Merlin had lost? Did she ever really know anything about this odd boy, now a man, who came to Camelot and changed everything? What choices had Merlin made? And why had Arthur wanted to kill his friend after all these years?
"Morgana, are you here with me?" Morgana barely heard Merlin's voice anymore, so quiet was this usually joyful servant's voice now. Merlin, dying. He was really dying, like Morgana had hoped for such a long time now. Her revenge was happening even better than she had ever imagined. Merlin was dying by Arthur's hand. A painful death- a long and painful death, just as she had wished. So why was she sad now, when she looked at him? Why, when she looked at Merlin, did it feel like her best friend was dying? Before she knew what she was doing, Morgana took Merlin on her lap and hushed him.
"I'm here Merlin. I'm here."
And Morgana felt the tears flow down her cheeks.