There she was again, talking intimately with someone he couldn't see. She looked as radiant as he was exhausted, yet another example of their opposition. After the last few days of meticulous and uninhibited soul-searching he had reached precisely zero conclusions, contentment or understanding of any kind.
Yet here she sits, carefree and unhindered by what should have been the shattering losses of her Master and most of her friends. Not to mention, the long overdue recognition of her miserable parentage.
His breathing was more forceful than entirely necessary as she finally glanced up at him, her eyes demanding his patience.
"Mhhmm" She nodded enthusiastically at whoever her conversation partner was. "Sorry to interrupt but could you excuse me for a minute? I'll be right back!"
She really didn't give them an opportunity to respond, or if they did he couldn't hear it, turning and heading quickly towards the nearest exit.
Once in private, she turned and stared with unabashed frustration into his eyes. He simple observed her, tasting the flavor of her emotions as a predator sniffs the air for indications of its prey.
They stayed like that for a long moment.
The first few times this had happened after Crait were… strained. At first, she'd adamantly refused to converse with him, the barely restrained anger clearly written in her face and posture. The connection had faded quickly.
Later instances were more… enlightening.
"Why is this still happening?" Her eyes were questioning and cold and so different from the soft, caring looks he'd been briefly graced with.
"I don't know," He said simply, shrugging, as though he hadn't given the question hours of meditated contemplation. She grit her teeth and looked away, clearly frustrated. A smirk turned his lips at how easy it was to read her every reaction, each emotion flitting across her face as quick and bright as stars out the window of his cruiser.
"He's gone but the bridge remains…" she mused aloud, "Does that mean the connection is ours to control now?" She looked up searching his eyes for answers.
Blinking, Kylo carefully maintained a blank countenance. Her instincts were remarkably astute for someone completely unversed in Jedi lore... "Possibly."
Her eyes narrowed, suspicion warring with curiosity on her face "So that means we could break it… if we wanted?" She asked, pushing for more.
An unexpected stab of fear manifested in his chest at the idea of losing… whatever this is.
Stamping down on the unwanted emotion, he coldly responds "Yes we could. But you don't really want that, do you Rey?" He goes on the offensive, stepping closer, his height adding intimidation to his voice. Her eyes widen predictably in response, confirming his suspicions.
"You still want to save me." Instead of the taunting tone he was going for, Kylo's voice is strained, maybe even a little sad, as his dark eyes search her face. A face which has abruptly drained of hostility.
"I don't know if that's possible…" Guilt and sadness emanate from her, eyes darting away. Before he can insist that she shouldn't try, her expressive eyes jump back up to his, a familiar determination flowering.
"But that doesn't mean I'm giving up" Her eyes flash, staunch conviction emanating from her very soul. "Whatever else you may be, you're not alone anymore."
It had only been a day since that particular conversation and it was obvious she was emotionally strained and not particularly disposed for another interruption. He could see the initial struggle as she inhaled and schooled her features somewhat. Good. She had interrupted him last time.
His resentment receded slightly as she shifted closer to him in what he assumed by her movements was a cramped space. Standing this close, there was an unspoken desire for civility between them, a tenuous truce.
"What were you discussing?" He questioned casually, attempting to keep the conversation light while observing the flavor of her emotions through the Force.
"You." She responds with unexpected candor "I've told Leia about our connection. She thinks it's dangerous to maintain it."
Freezing for a moment, Kylo recognized that he was both relieved and terrified that his mother is alive and giving council to Rey. After his men had taken out the Resistance main bridge, the young Sith had subconsciously closed off any part of himself that would have felt the loss when she passed. Therefore, he had not known she'd survived.
Rey watched him with a weary expression and he surprised himself when he choked out, "Maybe she's right." Kylo certainly had no intention of aiding the Resistance, so this connection was best forgotten.
It seemed her empathy outweighed her self-preservation instincts because she stepped closer to him, lowering her voice in earnest intimacy, just as she'd done on the elevator.
"I don't care. There's something here, a bond between us." She gestured in the limited space, almost brushing his chest. "It would be irresponsible to throw away something that we can both learn from."
Dismissing the flood of reassurance he felt that she also appreciated and intended to maintain their bond, Kylo carefully closed his face. Hope was a dangerous indulgence.
"You know what I want," Kylo asserted, firmly regaining his callous baring. "You refused me. So what now?" He sneered down at her. "We keep the bond and you sit idly by, spiritually chatting with me, while I restore the empire to its former glory?" His mocking tone does nothing to inhibit the now familiar glint of resolve in her eye.
"But that's the thing! I don't think you know what you want." She actually poked him in the chest. He would have found her ridiculously naive if her words didn't ring so painfully true. "You just made a pivotal decision and now you have no one to tell you what's right or wrong. You've had everything stripped away."
"And I suppose you know exactly what that feels like" he spit out, seething, vainly attempting to stifle the emotion threatening to spill out and exercising all of his limited control on not choking her to death.
Irrationally, she reached for him, placing a hand on his hammering heart, "If anyone knows what it's like to feel lost, it's me." Gentle, entreating brown eyes losing their potency in the face of the storm raging in his mind.
She shouldn't be able to affect him like this! Overwhelming anger crashes threw their connection, shattering it, leaving him grasping at an empty space, angry and lost.
The warmth her hand had left on his chest the only evidence of a new, possible future.
First real chapter! Short but here it is. I'd love to get your feedback on it, what do you guys want to see in the coming chapters?