Author's Note: I used to be able to write 3 chapters for 3 different stories within 3 days. I can no longer do that. I can only truly write when I'm "into" a story. And that takes time, and it also takes time to shift into another story. Perhaps also because when I write now, I BS less… And it's hard to write sincerely when your heart isn't with the story. Currently I'm "into" Wanted. So just a warning, there'll probably be quite a few chapters of "Wanted" out before I update any of my other stories… =/
Note: read the A/N at the end of the chapter if you're interested in seeing two images of Ilonka, to understand her physical attributes better!
)L.P.B.( - ah, Ilonka's my OC (own character). I have a collection of them, each with their personality. So instead of making up new characters each time, I tend to throw whoever fits the personality best into the blend. Same with names… when creating characters I hate having to make up new names again, lol… thus Ilonka and Jelensta as my flyff accounts… :P Umm sorry for the sad ending…? :sweat drop: well, at least I updated faster this time…
)anonymous( - Umm I'd gladly email you the update except you didn't leave your email… :sweat drop:
)Frosted BlossomZ( - Thank you so much! That means a lot to me! I always like my stories to be original… so thanks for letting me know it is! :D
)selena-m( - Hehe I agree… a whole year plus some months worth of waiting IS much too long… which is why I updated within a month and a bit this time? :P
)yoo rin( - It's a very, VERY complicated story… that's all I'll say… but if you're looking for pure S x S fluff I must say this isn't the story for you… =/ as I am more focused on the actual plot than cute fluff.
THANKS TO EVERYONE ELSE WHO REVIEWED!
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Chapter Twelve
Fortune and Misfortune
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The slap Lilia anticipated never came.
Reyn simply kneeled in front of her, as he stroked her hair with care. His voice was suddenly gentle, and soft. "Why don't you understand me, Lilia, why? I admit I was a horrible man for the first five years of our marriage, but we were young back then…so young… you being merely 16, and me, 18. We were inexperienced and foolish—at least I was. But I love you now, Lilia. I love you so much that I cannot even comprehend… why won't you believe me?"
Eyes dead, voice hollow, Lilia whispered, "You never loved me, Reyn… you never did… the love is gone…"
He frowned slightly. "This is what I've been trying to tell you, Lilia… that I do love you… it's true…"
Lilia could not hear him, she could not hear the love he had for her. All she could hear, was the vow she took. It echoed endlessly in her mind, reminding her of her loss, renewing her pain each time it repeated.
"No, Reyn… there's no more love."
He stopped stroking her, and sighed deeply. "You're tired, my love. I should not pressure you in such a time. You need rest…" He stood up, and offered her his hand. When she didn't shift from her position, when she didn't even blink, he sighed again, as he bent down to pick her up.
There was no resistance in her body as she hung across his arms like a ragged doll. "You'll come to yourself soon, Lilia… you'll realize how much I love you, and how much you love me…" Reyn whispered. Though perhaps it was more whispered to himself, than her. It was a sentence he wished would be true. It was a sentence he comforted himself with, for deep inside, Reyn was worried. He was scared. He was afraid. Afraid of being unloved.
—
The days passed in a blur. No matter what Reyn said, no matter what he did, no matter what he said, his Queen ignored him completely, and this pained him as much—if not more—as it did when she left him for that filthy, filthy creature. He didn't know what to do.
She always ate at the opposite end of the grand table whenever she was called to, and slept in the same bed as him; though so near the edge of the bed he worried about her falling off.
Lilia withered away day by day. Her eyes were dull, her face expressionless. There were only very few times when King Reyn caught her speaking softly with their Maid, Maryia. During those rare times his heart always ached with pain that he was no longer the one she could confess to, and during those times, he would turn around and walk away, not wanting to alert her.
For Lilia, her life was over as she knew it. What is life, when there is no love? What is life, when she had to live constantly with the man she couldn't stand to see? That every moment with him caused her pain? It wasn't as much pain from hatred as it was pain from betrayal, which was so much worse.
Months passed, and at last, Lilia came up with a plan. It was her only plan. Shame washed over her even thinking about such a despicable and traitorous thing she is contemplating to do… for she believes there is no other way.
Sitting alone on top of her bed, she called Maid Maryia in.
As always, King Reyn dared not enter their bedroom, in fear of startling his dear Lilia. Sighing, he leaned again the door, wondering when she would come to her senses, if she ever will.
Suddenly, there was a high-pitched scream inside the room. Startled, he peered inside, seeing Maryia pale as a ghost, and Lilia scolding her.
The maid nodded tremulously and hesitantly. She seemed as if she would've liked to argue with whatever Lilia had said, but one stern look from her Queen, kept her mouth shut. She bowed, and turned around to leave.
Maryia tried walking away as calmly and normally as she could, but the moment she closed the door behind her, a hand went over her waist as another went over her mouth.
Her heart began pounding furiously and she suddenly forgot all about the calm manner a lady was suppose to behave. She began kicking, scratching, and anything else she could do.
"Maryia! What on earth are you struggling for?" A harsh voice whispered.
It took a moment, but Maryia finally recognized the voice. When she did, her knees buckled and nearly fell to the ground had there not been a hand around her waist.
"Get a grip of yourself!"
"M-M-M-My K-K-K-K-King!" She stuttered, and clearly shocked to be within such close vicinity to him.
"Shh!" He hushed. "When I let go of you, you're not to make any sudden movements or loud sounds, understand?"
She nodded vigorously. And King Reyn released his grasp around her mouth and waist.
Immediately she fell down to her knees and bowed her head down low.
"No need, no need, Maryia, no time for such formality." He kneed on the ground so that their eyes were on the same level. "I need to know now, Maryia. I heard a frightened squeal from you when you were inside, speaking with my Lilia." Her eyes widened slightly, but King Reyn ignored this reaction and went on. "I want you to tell me what caused such a reaction from you."
"M-M-My King… I-I'm… I'm terribly sorry… but… I had strict orders from Queen Lilia not to tell anyone…"
His eyes were cold. "I am the King and you will tell me whatever I wish to know!"
She looked away. "But… My King… it's so terrible… you, you mustn't hear of it!"
"Anything regarding my Lilia, I have to know!"
She looked down. "I-I really can't say!"
"I demand you to tell me!"
"I-I can't… I really can't! I'm really sorry! But it was a direct order from Her Majesty!"
He growled slightly. "Maryia, tell me, within these castle walls, whose command holds higher power—mine, or Lilia's?"
"Yours…" she whispered softly.
"Well?"
"… Your majesty… I know I have no right for making such bold declarations, but I must have you guarantee me two things before I can tell you…"
"As long as they're not harmful to my Lilia, I agree."
Maryia's voice dropped down a notch. "Then please promise me, that you won't tell Her Majesty I've told you of this… and please, please, please don't be angered with her… please don't punish her…"
"Maryia, have I ever hurt Lilia?"
"No…"
"Then please, do tell."
She paused. "Her Majesty… has… requested for me… to bring her a sharp knife from the kitchen…"
"WHAT?"
Maryia touched her head to the floor. "I'm so sorry, my King! This is exactly why Her Majesty has forbad me to tell anyone… This reaction is not—"
"What on earth is she planning to do? Is she trying to kill me? Kill herself? What is she thinking?" He laughed slightly hysterically. "Truly, a lady like her does not know how to wield a weapon!"
"I'm sorry, Your Majesty, but my Queen did not tell me her specific plans… only for me to bring her the silver."
King Reyn straightened himself, a flash of fear stabbed at his heart, afraid she would harm herself. "Thank you, Maryia. You may now go. I will not speak of this conversation to my Lilia. Provide her with what she desires."
Maryia bowed one last time, before scurrying away, leaving King Reyn drenched with worry.
—
For the next seven days, nothing around the castle changed. If Lilia had planned on murder or suicide, she did not show it. Slowly, Reyn began to relax, yet still not completely, due to the fact his Queen refused to speak to him unless in formal terms. She simply refused to discuss anything else with him—she was an Ice Queen.
King Reyn believed that whatever his Queen had thought of doing was only a spur of the moment, and she couldn't possibly carry out such a dangerous and bloody plan.
Queen Lilia, on the other hand, kept her plan firm in mind. She was simply biding her time…
Another week passes, and at last, during midnight, Queen Lilia opened her eyes. Bright and scared.
She turned around slowly, and was relieved to see King Reyn asleep. "I'm sorry…" she whispered, and dropped a light kiss on his forehead. Though she did not love him the way she loved Jayx, she simply owed this poor man too much…
She stepped out of bed, took a deep breath, and ran.
—
There was a surprisingly familiar and stunning scent that was close by. King Reyn woke up groggily, having just dreamt that his Queen had at last warmed up and dropped him a kiss.
He shook his head at the absurdity of the thought. But the scent… it was Queen Lilia's scent… a moment ago it seemed she had inched closer to him… but now… it was… gone…
His eyes snapped open.
The space next to him was empty.
His heart raced.
No… he thought. Not possible… she couldn't have! She swore to me!
In a panic, he jumped out of bed and ran through the castle.
—
Being the Queen certainly made things faster. Getting through the guard and all. But certainly not fast enough. As Queen Lilia raced through the castle, she cursed how huge it is, how she could not run to ruin her lady-like posture, and how her heart pounded, warning her of an ill omen.
Through the maze-like corridors of the castle, at last, she reached the grand gates reaching out to the outside world. "Guard, let me through!"
"Your Majesty!" All 16 knights got on their knees.
"There is no need for formality, please open the gates and let me through."
"But my Queen, it is the witching hours! It isn't safe for you to be going out alone by yourself at such a time!"
"It does not matter. I am the Queen, and my command is yours to obey, not to question."
"By all means, my Queen. But His Majesty has told us to not you through unless you were given specific permission from him. And he has not warned us for your coming today."
Queen Lilia stared. What is this rubbish they speak of? Does King Reyn truly wish to lock me in this castle like a caged animal? She thought in shock and despair.
Aggravated, she cried, "Look, there has been an emergency! I must leave now! I will certainly explain the situation to King Reyn myself tomorrow! But if you do not let me through now, a life could be endangered and the blame shall fall on the lot of you!"
The knights looked at each other hesitantly, for they dared not ask Queen Lilia what this "life-and-death emergency" is, for it is impolite to do so. "My Queen…" he said hesitantly. "Could you possibly have King Reyn tell us himself that you're allowed to leave?"
"Oh, for goodness sakes, it's pitch dark, the hour of sleep, I do not wish to wake him!"
"Well…"
"I guarantee you, tomorrow morning, King Reyn himself will speak to you about my absence tonight! You simply must let me through right now!"
"Well…"
"NOW. I DEMAND you to!"
The knights looked at each other, slightly frightened, and at last, they bowed. "As you wish, Your Highness."
And slowly, they unlocked the giant, solid gold gate. It creaked open bit by bit, and Queen Lilia's heart sped up bit by bit.
At last, it was wide open, and she felt as if her heart was about to jump out of her chest. Walking as slowly as possibly—which was definitely difficult—she managed a thanks to the knights as she walked boldly into the wilderness.
Behind her, she watched the gates as they slowly closed. Goodbye, my Reyn…
The gate was inches from closing, and Lilia closed her eyes, a surprising sadness filling her heart.
"And where do you think you're going?"
Abruptly, her eyes snapped open as fear replaced the sorrow. Unbelievably, King Reyn stood before her.
"How—"
"My dear, there is no one in this world that knows your scent better than I. When your familiar smell was gone, I knew you too, were gone…" He held out his hand. "You swore to stay with me forever. Come back." He smiled thinly.
Slowly, Lilia shook her head as she began backing into the wilderness, away from him. "I-I… I can't…"
"Lilia…?" His smile disappeared. There was always a false sense of safety as he figured Lilia was bound by the vow she took. But suddenly, he didn't feel so sure. "Don't be foolish, my dear. Come back with me."
She backed up some more. There was at least three meters between them. "I'm sorry, Reyn…" she whispered.
A note of fear entered his voice. "Lilia?"
"I'M SORRY REYN!" And she turned and ran.
But she's merely a Queen, a lady, her physical attributes are no where near Reyn's.
He quickly caught up to her and wrapped his arms tightly around her shoulders. "YOU VOWED! YOU SWORE AN ETERNAL OATH! WHY? WHY DAMMIT? WHY MUST YOU GO BACK TO THAT BEGGAR?"
"LET GO OF ME!" Struggling desperately, Lilia managed to temporarily escape his death-lock grasp. And using that short time she had available, from the folds of her dress, she pulled out a sharp kitchen knife, nearly as long as a sword.
King Reyn paused, froze, barely a meter away from her. "Lilia…?"
She pointed it straight towards him. The tip glistened under the hardly visible moonlight. "Just let me be, Reyn…"
King Reyn seemed to decide; it didn't take him long to make up his mind. He walked towards her.
"DON'T TEST ME! I WON'T HESITATE!"
"Neither will I." And boldly, he grabbed the knife by the blade.
Surprised, Lilia jerked backwards, and in the process sliced the blade right across Reyn's palm.
Red blood began dripping down. His fingers twitched slightly as he squeezed his eyes shut for a mere second, before ignoring the pain completely, and continued advancing towards her. "You will never, ever, ever, leave me again."
Lilia's heart pounded. Why? Why is he so brave? She cried in her mind. Why? Why isn't he afraid? Why does he want me back? WHY WHY WHY? Blood dripped down the tip of the knife, and she winced just thinking about what she'd done. She backed up slowly, thinking, planning.
"Lilia…" there was a hint of fear and warning in his voice.
Her heart raced, brain thought desperately, and at last, when he nearly reached her, without hope, she put the blade against her own throat.
"Lilia… what are you doing…" a note of sorrow entered his voice. "Why are you doing this?" But he froze in his advances.
"A life here, is no life, Reyn."
"Why Lilia… why won't you stay with me, dammit?"
"Why won't I stay with you? Haven't the last few months said enough to you yet?"
"Only because you made it that way! You deliberately ignoring me!"
"IGNORING YOU? THERE WAS NO POINT IN SPEAKING WITH YOU?"
"NO POINT? WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"
"I HATE YOUR FALSE WORDS OF LIES! YOUR FAKE SPEECHES OF LOVE! I HATE LIES! YOUR LIES! ALL YOUR LIES!"
"HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF SUCH? I NEVER LIED TO YOU, LILIA; I DO LOVE YOU, MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD! WHY CAN'T YOU COMPREHEND THAT? WHY? WHY?"
"SHUT UP!" Lilia squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out his lies. Her hands trembled furiously, as the edge of the blade scraped her throat gently, causing a thin line of red to appear.
Reyn's eyes widened slightly. "Come now, Lilia, you won't do anything foolish, you hear me? Put the blade down, and we'll talk."
"NO! I RATHER DIE HERE THAN TO GO BACK WITH YOU!"
Reyn clenched his hands into fists in pain. "STOP SAYING THAT! WHY DON'T YOU SEE HOW MUCH YOU'RE HURTING ME? AM I REALLY SO HORRIBLE? DON'T YOU SEE THAT ALL I'VE EVER WANTED FROM YOU WAS TO BE LOVED BY YOU? AND FOR YOU TO ACCEPT MY LOVE? THAT'S ALL I EVER WANTED! WHY CAN'T YOU SEE?"
"STOP LYING! STOP YOUR LIES, REYN, I, OF ALL PEOPLE, KNOW YOU BETTER THAN THAT!"
"THEN TELL ME, GIVE ME A REASON FOR YOUR HURTFUL ACCUSATIONS! GIVE ME A REASON WHY YOU DISTRUST ME! GIVE ME A REASON TO WHY YOU CONSTANTLY TEAR MY HEART APART!"
"YOU KNOW WHAT THE REASON IS, REYN, DON'T YOU PLAY THE JESTER WITH ME!"
"LILIA, I'VE NEVER LIED TO YOU! WHY CAN'T YOU SEE? I TRY TO FOOL YOU NOT, I AM NOTHING BUT HONESTY TO YOU!"
"LIES! STOP IT!"
"WHY WON'T YOU BELIEVE ME? WHY? I NEVER LIE TO YOU!"
"YOU ARE HONESTLY TELLING YOU HAVE NO CLUE WHY I CAN'T STAND BEING NEAR YOU? WHY I'M ABLE TO SEE THROUGH YOUR FAÇADE OF LIES?" She laughed without mirth. "You wicked King…"
"Why do you make such accusations at me? Why do you never explain? I do love you Lilia, I do, more than anything!"
"NO YOU DON'T!"
"YES, I DO! I DO I DO I DO!"
"THERE IS NO LOVE REYN! NO LOVE! THERE IS ONLY PITY!"
He paused, stunned. "Pity…?" He whispered softly. "I do not pity you… why should I? How can I? You're so much better than me at everything, what is there to pity…?"
Tears were pouring freely out of her eyes. "It is pity, Reyn… admit it… truly, I only want the truth…"
"I am telling you the truth… that's what I've been trying to convince you of all along… I do not pity you… please… give me the reason for your bold statement…"
Her hands trembled more; a thin trail of blood began leaking down the front of her throat. Yet her heart was in too much pain for her to realize. "I saw you that night, Reyn… that night, when I thought you loved me… It was the beginning of our passion for one another… I thought you loved me then… I believed your lies… I thought you were truly able to see something within me that you loved, and that you were willing to change for me… I loved you back, with my heart and soul… especially in such a desperate moment, right after the death of my parents… There was no one to divide my love for… there was only you, and only you to love… Everything, I thought was perfect… till that night… THAT NIGHT! You didn't see me, and you thought I couldn't see you, but I did… I DID REYN! YOU WERE AWAKE! You were not asleep! YOU WERE AWAKE! WATCHING ME CRY! I've always suspected there to be a reason why you suddenly loved me after my parents' death… and I could not come up with a reasonable answer, and so I passed it off as a blessing from my parents in heaven… BUT THAT EXPLAINED ITSELF! YOU SAW ME CRYING AT NIGHT! YOU PRETENDED TO LOVE BECAUSE YOU PITIED ME! WELL THERE IS SOMETHING I MUST TELL YOU REYN, THERE IS NOTHING I HATE MORE THAN PITY! I NEED NOT YOUR PITY FOR ME! I'VE FOUND LOVE NOW, SO YOU CAN SAVE YOUR PITY AND STOP FAKING, DAMMIT! STOP ALL YOUR LIES OF LOVE!"
King Reyn was silent—and shocked beyond belief. Truly, is this what she thought all along? He thought to himself. Then the cold shoulders, the ice queen right the next day… it all makes sense now… A deep sorrow filled his heart. She thinks I pitied her…? That my love for her, were lies…? Without knowing, the shocked caused his knees to buckle. To finally understand the pain his Queen went through because of such a foolish misunderstanding. "I do not pity you, Lilia…"
"Even now, you still lie…" Without realizing, the blade was pressed deeper into her throat.
King Reyn felt too lifeless to argue. Such was the shock. Knowing. Truly, he preferred not to. Blood was dripping down the front of her gown, coloring the white, silky material redl. "You may leave now, Lilia… Just, promise me one thing…"
She was startled, and even more startled by the new waved of sorrow that clashed with her heart. Why was she so sad to leave him? Why? She should be overjoyed to be going back to her beloved Jayx! So why? "What is it…?"
"Please drop the knife, love. I can't stand for you to hurt yourself anymore…"
It was then Lilia realized how deep her cut was. Slowly, she let the reddened knife hit the ground. "Why do you still worry about me…? You should hate me… you should be wishing for my death… after all, I have broken my vow…"
Still on his knees, he whispered, "I could never hate you, love." Someday, I'll explain to you… but now, the night's wounds are too fresh… you'll never listen to me, but someday, dearest… I'll explain to you… I'll let your heart hear my side of the story, he thought.
More tears fluttered down her cheeks, and Lilia wondered why. "Goodbye, Reyn." With a soft whisper, she left.
"Lilia…" Reyn spoke to the night. He had things to say. If fate wishes, she'll hear tonight. If fate denies, then she'll hear it, another time. "You are so wrong, my love… there was never pity. It is true I was awake, night after night, watching you weep, my darling… but that did not make me pity you, that made me fall in love with you… See, I was a foolish young man… for a very long time, I thought you were a stone-hearted witch… till I saw the crystal tears falling out of your pained eyes… how human you were… and how I realized your greatness, how I finally saw the burden you hold within your heart… it was never pity, there was only admiration, and love… endless love… and one day, you will believe me, Lilia…"
Though Lilia has reached quite a distance away from King Reyn, the winds carried his words to her, and her heart cried out, for him… she longed to return, but over and over again she shook her head, trying to forget the words and think of nothing but Jayx.
But truly, it is difficult. Much too. After what she has heard, how can she not think about it? How can she not wonder, if she was making the right choice? Weak, Lilia fell on her knees, hands flat against the earth. "Why do this to me, my love…? I have been a despicable wretch… why do you not hate me…? Why do you continue to love me…? And why do you do this to me now…? Why, why, why? Just when I thought I had my life figured out, why do you do this to me?"
Cold wind blew by mercilessly, carrying Reyn's words around her, and echoing mercilessly. Without strength, Lilia soon passed out into her puddle of tears.
There was a moment of silence in the room. Tears were flooding out of Sakura's eyes. As much as she did not wish to cry in front the King, she simply could not help it. Why? Why does this happen? What is the author's intent? Why make them suffer like this? Why? Why? WHY?
A single sound broke the silence that was echoing with ache. "Why?" It was soft, and the voice cracked. For a brief moment, Sakura thought she'd voiced her own opinions. But she realized the tender voice wasn't from her, but perhaps… the man sitting across from her?
She glanced up, surprised. She tried to say something comforting, but nothing came out.
"Why?" He repeated, a little louder this time. "Why does he love her so?" Slowly, King Syaoran looked up at her. There was a new light in his eyes. "How does one, love another so dearly, so unselfishly?" This feeling was so strange, so new to him...
Slowly, Sakura shook her head. "Love does many things to you…"
He sounded genuinely confused. "I-I don't understand…"
Sakura hesitated. Somehow, through the twinge they both shared in their heart from the heartaches this tale tells, it seemed as if they became much closer, as if they were two unique and lonely souls in this world who alone could understand one another. "Perhaps…" she suggested hesitantly. "You should open yourself up more… to understand…"
King Syaoran stared at her tenderly. There was a new bubbly feeling within him. Suddenly, the woman in front of him seemed so familiar, so different, and so beautiful. Suddenly, he felt as if his heart was hollow, and he knew the feeling was to be blamed on "Love". Yet either way, he suddenly felt terribly lonely.
Slowly, he got out of his chairs and wobbled towards Sakura. He kneed down in front of where she sat, and cupped her cheeks with both his hands.
"My King…?"
There was such and overwhelming feeling inside of him… he was overflowing… he needed to… just needed to… just once can't hurt…
Almost as if in a trance, he leaned towards her, as he consciously brought her face nearer to his.
Still dazed, Sakura felt unable to act… there was a hunger burning inside her... Once can't hurt… right…?
She did not resist even when their nose touched. Desire. That's all it was, right? "Just once…" King Syaoran whispered breathily against her lips, before he hungrily captured them in a breathless kiss.
—
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Author's Note: Wow. Didn't even realize that like this entire chapter was about Lilia and Reyn… till I decided to do a word count and went, oh shoot! Already 3700 words! Better end it soon! O-o. So yea… and I've decided since it's kinda chapter TWELVE already, I really, really needa get things moving… :P other wise this story could take up to even 30 chapters… :sweatdrop: certainly not easy writing something short when you're trying to write TWO stories in one!
Ah, on a side note, anyone interested in seeing what ILONKA LOOKS LIKES, CHECK HERE:
http(colon)(slash)www(dot)deviantart(dot)com(slash)deviation(slash)45352212
just get replace all (dot) with "." And get rid of any spaces. That's a picture of a more modern Ilonka… Drawn by me for chrismtas… xD Haven't got a chance to color it… just 'cause I'm lazy like this… :sweat drop:
http(colon)(slash)www(dot)deviantart(dot)com(slash)deviation(slash)48071635
again, replace all (dot) and get rid of spaces. That's a more… "spiritual/elemental" version of Ilonka, if you please. I've written a one-shot story about her where she's been metaphor-ed as "Angel of Fire". This was drawn dedicated to that. This one's color… yes, she does have a helluva lot of hair, bright red too. I do realize she has green eyes. In fact Ilonka as my OC, does have green eyes. I just gave her black eyes for this story for the heck of her being a revert of Meiling. :P Right this pic is just used as a "color" reference… for what she actually LOOKS LIKE, it's closer to the pic above…
I'll prolly post a pic of what Jelensta looks like soon… just gotta finish coloring the damn thing… =/
BOTH PICS OF ILONKA ARE DRAWN BY ME/COPYRIGHTED TO ME, NO REFERENCE WAS USED.
4960 words.
Lol, there's more italic in this chapter than non-italic.