(A/N: In all my stories, I always ask for tips. If you have a good idea for the story, or something you want to see happen, send it to me in either a private message or a review. If I choose to use it, I'll credit you.)
I was not expecting her to say "Good." The fact that she is hard to read is more frustrating than ever now. I can't tell if she's relieved, happy, sad, hurt, or a mix of all four. Katniss asks what the schedule will be. Tonight we have the interviews. The Capitol will broadcast a very bright, very hyper man named Caesar Flickerman asking each tribute a series of questions. It goes for about three minutes each tribute. Haymitch tells Katniss that she will prepare with Effie. I assume that Katniss is with Effie to work on etiquette, her friendliness isn't exactly at Capitol standards, though, I don't see what they expect.
Once they're gone, Haymitch taps his fingers on the edge of the table, pondering something, and takes a sip of liquor from his flask. "Tomorrow night, you will reveal your feelings for Katniss."
"WHAT?" My first thought: Hell no. I can't even bring myself to do that alone with her under the stars. If I can't do it on the roof of the training center, how can he expect me to do it on national television?
"You will reveal your feelings for Katniss in your interview tomorrow night." I have a million questions, but the first one, is "Why?"
"I want you teamed up with the Careers." I don't see what this has to do anything, so again I ask why. "They'll keep you alive the longest."
"Yeah right. I'm from District 12, they won't take me."
"It is driving them crazy that they cannot figure out why Katniss received an eleven. They will need you to get to her."
"If they know I love her, won't they know I'll be protecting her?"
"You tell them that in exchange for your help, Katniss dies last. Then you tell them you don't want to live without her and they can kill you voluntarily." Haymitch obviously reads the confused look on my face. He sighs in frustration. "One more body will do them good, kill others off quickly. Then, you'll help them get to her, then, you'll let them kill you. How could they go wrong? Of course, this isn't actually what is going to happen. This is what you'll have them think. In actuality, you're with them to lead them off her trail. I've no doubt she can hold her own and survive. She can probably take five tributes at a time, but she can't face all the careers and live."
"What happens when the other tributes are dead and Katniss is next?"
"I haven't figured that out yet. You're a smart kid, Peeta, you'll know."
"I really don't know if I can do that," I tell him. "You'll have to. If you want her to live, this is the best way. They'll think you and she are easy prey because you're in love. If they think she reciprocates your feelings, even better. Not to mention the sponsors you'll get by being star-crossed lovers." I think about this.
"If you don't want her to know it's real, don't. You can easily pass it off as just pretending for sponsors. You're good with that kind of thing." That's true. If I want her to think I just did it for sponsors, I can probably play that off really well. I take a deep breath, and decide that I will have to do it. "Then can I ask one favor?"
"Depends on what it is."
"Can I drink some of that before I go on stage?" I ask him, pointing to his liquor flask. He laughs while nodding his head. For the next hour or so, he tells me about what to do in the arena after I team with the Careers. "They normally delegate different responsibilities to their allies. They'll keep you alive and put you to good use. You'll have food and plenty of water, as they normally stick close to the Cornucopia. No one ever really dares challenge them for it. You will have to kill tributes. I know you don't want to, but you can't appear too nice or sympathetic or they'll suspect you." He goes on about other survival tactics should I end up on my own, and when we hear footsteps down the hall, he pretends to laugh and I join in.
Katniss walks in while we're laughing, and seems annoyed by it. I could tell her session with Effie was unnerving. She looks on edge. She plops down next to Haymitch, who puts his hands up as if to surrender, then she takes a deep breath and tries to calm down. Haymitch looks in my direction and I get the feeling I'm being excused. I get up and try very hard not to acknowledge Katniss as I walk out the door. Effie is waiting for me in the hallway.
Effie really doesn't instruct me on anything I don't already know. "Be amiable, be friendly, act as if you're among friends," and such. She instructs me to stand tall and straight, to walk with my head held high, to speak in an even manner, use "please", "thank you", and other such formalities if needed. I'm trying to pay attention but I am extremely worried about tomorrow night. What will she think? What will my family think? What will the country think? What will Gale think? I really don't need repercussions from my actions from Gale. Then, I think there won't be any because I won't be coming home, which eases me a little. It also eases me that Katniss will have someone to turn to when it's all over, assuming she wins. I'm going to do my best to see that she does, even if it means being half-plastered on national television and revealing everything to the entire country.
Morning comes after a dreamless sleep. It's a godsend to not have any dream at all after that last one. I actually feel more rested than I have in a long time, and I hop in the shower and use all the relaxing motions of the water. I feel the tensions melt away, and finally, I feel I am prepared. When it's time to get ready, Portia spends an hour on my hair. I have no idea what she is doing to it, it isn't very long. They use a little bit of makeup to make my face look brighter and healthier, and they dress me in a black suit that resembles burning coal when I move. I am not quite sure how they did it, but this suit is just as remarkable as the last one that I wore in the opening ceremonies.
Haymitch and I are in my room, we've got to head down to the training center in a few minutes. "Here boy," he says handing me his liquor bottle. "I thought you might want the bottle. Has more of a kick, you know." I take a couple of drinks, and wait for my vision to get foggy. "You'll be going last, better take a couple more." Haymitch's advice impairs my ability to walk. I make it to the elevator just fine, and plaster a fake smile across my face, or maybe it isn't fake. I seem to be finding everything funny right now. I wouldn't say I'm drunk, but I feel good. My speech isn't slurred, and I can walk straight if I focus, but I think it will last until my interview is over.
I have to take a second look when Katniss walks into the elevator. She looks more stunning than the last time. She's in a beautiful dress, that sparkles like it's made of jewels. Her eyes are bright, her lips are red, and her cheeks are full of color. Her hair smells incredible, and is done up really well. It is a good thing that Haymitch and Effie are between us, or I might have revealed my feelings now, while my inhibitions are at their lowest. Haymitch seems to be enjoying my anxiety. He rocks back and forth on the way down trying to hide a smile. Effie is completely oblivious to everything. She just stands there like a plastic doll with a permanent, painted on smile. I think it's funny, so I laugh. Katniss turns around and looks at me like she wants to know what my problem is, but I just look down.
When we are seated, I struggle to withhold laughter again. Caesar Flickerman looks absolutely ridiculous. He looks like a child smeared paint across his lips and hair and eyelids. He is way too bright and enthusiastic, it's slightly annoying. I stifle a laugh and Katniss elbows me. "What the hell is your problem?" So she's noticed I am not myself. I realize I have to play this off, so I just tell her I'm thinking about something Riley told me, she rolls her eyes and watches a girl named Glimmer walk out. Glimmer looks beautiful. All of the female tributes look beautiful, but no matter how beautiful they are, they couldn't hold a candle to someone that I'm in love with.
Halfway through the line up, the alcohol is beginning to wear off. I don't feel nauseous, I can focus, and I have stopped laughing at everything. Though, my vision is still a little off, and my mind is still foggy. The bright lights blind me, though no one else seems bothered. I try to listen to the other tributes, especially the careers. I need to know their weaknesses. Since each interview lasts approximately three minutes, Katniss is up before I know it. Everyone so far has had an edge, whether it be elusive or hostile or likeable or sexy. I wonder what Katniss' will be. I think the no bullshit attitude is charming, but the Capitol and Caesar Flickerman may not feel the same way.
She seems nervous at first, but Caesar is good with people, and he puts her at ease by joking with her. Her interview is over soon, and she did really well, she even smiled at the audience like they were friends. She showed off her dress, and this, I could tell, was not a front. She had grown accustomed to Cinna, she seemed to like him. That is good, she does need a friend she can trust. I wish it was me, but to keep her alive, it can't be me. I have to accept that. When my name is called, I rise from my chair and the dizziness returns and I realize that the alcohol didn't wear off as much as I thought it did. Still, I steady myself and focus hard on doing as Effie told me, walking straight with my head high, while focusing still on not toppling over.
My palms start to sweat. Even with the alcohol, this will be hard. "So, Peeta, tell us a little about yourself."
"I'm the son of a Baker in district 12."
"That sounds like it might be pretty exciting. Do you enjoy it?"
"I enjoy frosting the cakes. I've always been into art, and it's a way I can express it." Caesar jokes about how even his stick figure drawings are painful to look at. I laugh with him. "What do you like about the Capitol so far?" I don't have to lie when I say, "The showers. I've never seen so many different options. Tell me, do I still smell like roses?" Caesar laughs and smells me. The audience laughs as well. "Well, not only do you smell nice, but you're a good looking kid, too. You must have a girlfriend back home watching this." He waves to the camera. "Hi, Peeta's girlfriend!" He then looks back at me for reassurance. Here we go. I have to do this. I want to say, "Well, not yet!" But I can't get the words out. I just shake my head. "Handsome lad like you, there must be some special girl. Come on, what's her name?" A part of me wonders if Haymitch and Caesar planned this. Caesar asking these questions, Haymitch telling me to reveal everything. Then I realize that it's just a coincidence. Mentors and Caesar don't talk. I realize everyone's eyes are on me, and it's then I realize that I am taking too long to answer. Haymitch is tapping his fingers on the arm of his chair, a nervous thing I guess. I sigh, and try to bring the words I want to say out. "Well, there is this one girl, I've had a crush on her ever since I can remember." Lies. It's not a crush, it hasn't been for awhile. Why didn't I say I loved her? Was I afraid? I struggle to go on, "But I'm pretty sure she didn't know I was alive until the reaping." Caesar looks sympathetic. I don't want his sympathy. I don't want anyone's sympathy. I rub my sweaty palms on my pants. I want this to be over with. Caesar asks me a question I don't even want to ask myself: "She have another fellow?" Yes, Gale. I shake my head to remind myself that the dream was most likely not reality. Katniss doesn't mask emotions like I do. If she felt romance for him, I'd be able to tell. So instead, I just say, "I don't know. But a lot of boys like her." She's admired by a few guys in our class. Some of them are my friends. Caesar, again, feels sympathetic. "So here's what you do. You win, you go home. She can't turn you down then, eh?" I feel a little remorse for Caesar because he really is trying to help me. "I don't think it's going to work out. Winning won't help in my case." The audience, and Caesar are intrigued. "Why ever not?" He asks me. Then, as I'm looking at Haymitch, then to the audience, then back to Caesar, it dawns on me that the alcohol has almost worn off. In that short amount of time, maybe because of the excess sweat. I realize that if I don't answer the question, if I don't do what Haymitch told me to do now, I might not ever do it. I have to make myself, I have to push the words out, I have to. "Because," I try not to stammer, but it's better than not saying anything at all. I look into the television screen. The audience is dead silent, so are the tributes, but Katniss looks sleepy. Maybe she won't hear. No, of course she will. My face is red, like blood red. If I smell like roses, I sure do look like one as well now too. "Because, she came here with me."
Screw Effie, I tilt my head down and stare at the floor. There is no going back. Then I look to Haymitch, who directs me to the screen. The screen is on Katniss. Her jaw is dropped and her eyes wide. Well, if she was sleepy before she isn't now. She doesn't say anything, and she looks around, like it's taking her awhile to put the pieces together. Then, what I said sinks in, and she looks at the floor as if it will give her the answers she wants. "Oh, that is a piece of bad luck," says Caesar. Oh yeah. I forgot we were on national television. Great. I see pain in the eyes of the audience, and in the eyes of Caesar, and in the eyes of one gamemaker. Just one. Now, I'm on autopilot. My eyes are scanning the crowd while my mouth is running. "It's not good." I guess it is a good thing. It sucks for me, but we'll have sponsors. The Capitol citizens will eat this up. They will try to do whatever they can to sponsor us. "Well, I don't think I could blame you, It would be hard not to fall for that young lady. She didn't know?"
"Not until now."
Caesar then asks the audience if they should pull her back out here to get a response. In the screen, her face looking down, her head between her arms, elbows resting on the table. I don't know why Caesar teased the audience, but rules say she can't come back out. Caesar wishes me luck, though I don't know what good it will do. There is a slim chance she lives, a certainty that I die, and an impossibility of us being together. I don't want to go back to my seat, but I force myself to. We all stand for the anthem to be played, and both of us avoid eye contact, though occasionally we see each other in the television screen.
The elevator was awkward. I looked one way, she looked another, I would kill to know what she is thinking. I don't have to wait long though. The elevator stops on our floor, and I step out first. I turn around, and then she steps out. I wasn't expecting for her to jump into my arms and kiss me or anything, but I wasn't expecting her to push me into a vase either. I fell, and the broken shards cut up my hands. I need my hands. She was obviously very pissed, though I didn't know why. "How could you? You had no right to go saying those things about me!" What? Were we in the same conversation?
Effie and Haymitch step out of the elevator. Effie gasps and asks me if I fell. Finally, after getting a good look at my hands, a little flame of anger arises in me. "After she shoved me". Haymitch turns to Katniss and says, "Shoved him?"
"This was your idea wasn't it? Turning me into a fool in front of the entire country!"
"It was my idea, he just helped me with it." I don't know why I said it was my idea, but Haymitch looks pleased that I did. "yes, Haymitch is very helpful, to you!" She says. Oh, what little she knows. The two of us are trying to keep her alive, and she thinks we are against her. Haymitch tells her I helped her. "He made me look weak!"
"He made you look desireable! And let's face it, you could use all the help you could get in that department. You were about as romantic as dirt until he said he wanted you. Now they all do. You're all they're talking about. The star-crossed lovers from district 12." I can tell Haymitch has my back, maybe because I took the fall for the idea before. "But we're not star-crossed lovers!" She says. This shouldn't bother me, but it does. "Who cares," Haymitch tells her, "It's all a big show! It's how you're perceived. The most I could say about you after your interview was that you were nice enough, although that in itself was a small miracle. Now I can say you're a heartbreaker. Oh, oh, oh, how the boys back home fall longingly at your feet. Which do you think will get you more sponsors?" Haymitch decided to go ahead and play it off like it was fake. Fine by me, I wasn't ready to tell her yet anyway. And I haven't given him enough credit, either. He makes an excellent point. Katniss knows what he said is true. She knows, or thinks, that I am "pretending" to help her.
"I should have been told, so I didn't look so stupid." Portia stepped in and told her if she'd known, it wouldn't have been real. I don't understand how she can be so pissed at a perfectly ingenious plan, then it hits me: Gale. "She's just worried about her boyfriend." As soon as I said it, I regretted it. Great. I've added a gallon of kerosene to the flame. "I don't have a boyfriend."
"Whatever." I am tired of arguing. I want to go home, I want to wake up and realize that this was all a bad dream. "But I bet he's smart enough to know a bluff when he sees it, besides, you didn't say you loved me, so what does it matter?" Now, she definitely thinks it was fake. I'm partially relieved. They tell her that she looked, at least on camera, that she might be harboring feelings for me too, lining up sponsors. She tells me that she is sorry she shoved me. As she makes eye contact with me, the tiny flame of anger inside me was completely extinguished.
"Doesn't matter. Although it was completely illegal." Finally, I get a smile out of her, by myself.
We eat dinner, then watch the recaps on television. The awkwardness returns while we're watching it, but subsides when it's over. Effie does her best to wish us well, and it looks like she even tries to hold back a tear or two. I ask Haymitch, "Any final words of advice?" To which he says, "Stay alive."
I am unable to sleep. I hate to admit it, but I am scared. I'd never had to stare death in the face before. I hope desperately that I am able to sacrifice myself when the time comes, but I'm afraid I won't be able to. Instead, I get out of bed, and wander down to the dining room. I noticed the last few nights, that the careers gathered here after lights out to discuss strategy. I open the door, and Clove stops talking. They all stare at me. "Loverboy!" Cato says. He pats the seat next to him. "Come join us." My instincts tell me he is acting amiable but will try to threaten me. Whatever. Just like Haymitch said, they need me more than I need them. I do as he says, I cut right down to business. "I want to team up with you guys."
They look surprised, to say the least. Cato looks at me and asks, "Why?"
"I'd like to make a deal. I'm sure you were all paying attention to what I said in the interview." Marvel stifles a laugh. "Yeah. Sucks for you." I brush that off. Cato looks intrigued. He seems to be their leader anyway. "I know you want Katniss because she got an 11."
"True. So what?" Glimmer asks. "You don't know how she got it, but I do. I know her weakness. You won't be able to kill her let alone find her without me."
"You wouldn't kill the girl you love," Clove interrupts. "No, I wouldn't. Unless I too wanted to die. Look, the more people you have on your side, the better your chances. I will help you eliminate as many tributes as you can, and if you all, Katniss, and I are the only ones left, I'll lead you to her." I can tell I'm going to have to elaborate more. "Bottom line, I help you, as long as you save Katniss for last. Then I'll let you kill me. No problem, the two of gone, easy. I don't want to live without her, and I don't think either of us has a chance against you guys." They think it over. Clove says, "Well, I don't see where we could go wrong accepting his offer," she tells Cato. Now, it seems that Cato and Clove, both tributes from district 2, are equally in charge. Cato looks at Marvel and Glimmer, both nod. "Okay, what can you do?"
"I can lift pretty much anything." A light seems to go off in Cato's head. "Really? Perfect. When the time comes, go directly to the cornucopia, and start taking supplies, and carrying them out of there. Stack them all up, and then this kid from District 3 will guard them. We'll have your back. You just focus on supplies. Got it?"
"Yes." And that was that.