Practice!
Looking across the garden, Ianto sat deep in thought. It had been three days since the evening when he had had his first real orgasm. He had lots to think about. He felt deeply frustrated; this was not a new feeling, because he felt frustrated most of the time. He felt like this because he couldn't express in words what he was thinking and feeling. Thoughts all got jumbled and he got more and agitated. But this was a different kind of frustration.
Jack had helped him out and it had been amazing. Now all he could think about was having Jack do that to him again. Kissing; he wanted to kiss Jack and hold him close them kiss him some more. He had ideas and he wanted to try them out…on Jack. He smiled as he went back to the sensation of being touched and he smiled at the idea of touching Jack just like that. Jack had answered all his questions and they continued on as they always had. Over the past days he had found lots that needed kissing better and had asked for extra cuddles, but Jack wasn't getting the hint. Maybe he thought Ianto didn't want him to do anymore. Maybe that's why he just had answered his questions and helped him out but didn't realise Ianto wanted to continue. He had a thought; maybe he should tell Jack about his dreams and then ask for more practice. That way Jack would know what he wanted. He nodded to himself; yes, that was what he would do.
Laying half-awake Ianto waited until he felt Jack get into bed. Jack always came to bed later, having a couple of hours to himself in the evening. Ianto wrapped himself around Jack as he held him close as he always did and listened to Jack's heartbeat as Jack settled down to sleep.
"Jack, I like kissing," Ianto told him outright.
"I like kissing you too." Jack kissed him on the forehead.
"I don't mean a kiss better, I mean a better kiss," Ianto tried to explain. He felt Jack become really still. "I was thinking about my dreams." Ianto struggled to find the words.
"What sort of dreams?" Jack asked sleepily and relaxed.
"Nice dreams, really nice dreams," Ianto enthused.
"Dreams can be nice," Jack told him, closing his eyes, relieved that the topic had changed.
"My dreams are nice, fun dreams and I wake up like I did the other night," Ianto explained inadequately.
"I see," said Jack, yawning, not understanding and holding Ianto closer to him.
"Yeah they are so funny, they have you and me in them."
"Well, dreams are like that," Jack told him, settling down.
"Kissing."
"I know you like kissing," Jack repeated.
"In my fun dreams you and I kiss lots, with chasing and holding and…"
"Kissing?" Jack looked at him. Ianto pulled away and pushed himself up on an elbow.
"Loads of kissing. We start all dressed, but we end always end up with no clothes on. I run my hands all over you and you run your hands over me. We hold each other real close with our hands on each other's arses, kissing like we did the other night." Ianto stopped for a moment and bit his bottom lip at the thought and took a breath " sometimes I chase you and sometimes you chase me, and we always end up kissing, better kissing not a kiss better and you reach down and touch me like you did after my shower. Except in my dreams I didn't realise what was happening. "
"They sound like fun dreams," Jack commented slowly not sure how to react.
"Best fun dreams ever! I wake up all excited and feel like I've had a huge happy sneeze," Ianto told him wide-eyed.
"Does every fun dream have you and me kissing and touching?" Jack asked. He saw Ianto nod slowly smiling then looked more serious.
"Yes, but not as good as what we did the other night because it was nice to have the dream, awake, for real," Ianto told him. "And I wanted to know if we could practice? I liked you showing me, but I want to practice because I want to try things too." Jack listened, several emotions and thoughts running through him as Ianto continued. "I want the dreams to be awake and not in my dream. With you kissing me and me kissing you for real. I going to need a lot of practice because I don't know things, but I want to try things, kissing and things, and touching. It was the best- thing ever – kissing awake for real and exploding with orgasms…" Jack stared at him as he was faced with his dilemma and realised there was only one answer he could give.
Jack moved away and sighed sadly. "Look Ianto, I would love nothing more than to kiss…" he got no further as Ianto launched himself at him and gave him a powerful, sloppy snog.
As Ianto kissed him he realised that Ianto had actually asked for something he wanted. He had tried to express it in his terms. Confused as it sounded it was really clear and his actions spoke volumes. So maybe he should stop agonising and give Ianto the first thing he had ever asked for outright.
Pulling Ianto close they lay prone to each other as Jack took control, and gave him a closed-mouth kiss. "Em," Ianto mumbled as he sought out Jack's lips and put his hands on Jack's waist. Jack deepened the kiss, stroking the back of Ianto's neck.
It was more heated this time and Ianto felt himself stiffening up so he got closer to Jack and kissed him again, and he felt his excitement build. Closing his eyes and concentrating he kissed him some more and felt the need to get even closer. He opened his eyes when he felt something of Jack pressing into him. "Does kissing make you hard as well?"
"Oh yeah, kissing is one; touching is another." Jack gently ran his hand down Ianto's side and stroked his arse then pulled him in closer.
"That's nice like my dreams," Ianto told him and did the same to Jack as they now began to run their hands down each other.
"And different kinds of kisses," Jack said, now kissing Ianto along the neck and under his chin. He took his earlobe and sucked it gently. Ianto chuckled.
"Tickles," he told him. He now went back and gave Ianto deep kisses, sucking in his tongue gently as Ianto responded in kind.
"I really like that," Ianto declared as they pulled back. "I am really hard so my body must really like this and you are too." He touched Jack feeling his erection and bit his lip, yes this was what he wanted.
"Well, would you like another orgasm like the other night?" Jack asked. He saw Ianto nod slowly, smiling as Jack took off the boxers he slept in. Ianto took off his pyjama bottoms and threw them on the floor then moved in closer.
Taking Ianto's hand he pulled it down so he could feel Jack's erection as Ianto nodded. Getting as close they could Jack now kissed Ianto with even more passion. Ianto had his arm around Jack holding his arse and pulling him as close as possible. Now he felt their cocks touching and he began to tremble as he became lost in the sensation of his lips on Jack's. Jack's hands were on his arse pulling him closer as his cock slid against Jack's. He felt his hips move of their own volition; it was becoming unbearably wonderful and he felt so hot and the sweat added lubrication as his whole focus centred on his cock. He felt a tingling in his spine and felt his balls twitch and the world exploded in a haze of sensation.
Grabbing some tissues from the night stand, Jack cleaned them both up as Ianto laughed softly. "We're all sticky. Did you have an orgasm too?"
"Oh yeah," Jack responded with a gentle kiss. "It was wonderful."
"I'm glad because they feel so good." He yawned as Jack now held him close. "I like my dreams being awake and I'm going to need loads of practice because there is lots I want to try especially kissing and touching. Can we do lots of practice? Because this is the best thing we have ever done," Ianto said as he closed his eyes.
"Oh yes, as much practice as you like." Jack kissed his forehead.
"Good, because I want to give you a lot of orgasms because they make me feel so good and you should feel good too," Ianto told him snuggling closer as another thought came to him. "Other people...we should tell them, so they know about this so they can feel good," Ianto expressed himself.
"What we do here is private. It's a grown-up thing; grown- ups don't talk about it," Jack told him, almost groaning at the idea that Ianto might tell people. Not that he felt anything they were doing was wrong but it might be misunderstood and this was between him and Ianto.
"Like the naked thing, only in the garden," Ianto yawned again as a wave of sleepiness overtook him.
"We can be as naked in bed as much as you want," Jack told him feeling the irresistible pull of sleep.
"I like naked, naked Jack, naked Ianto in dreams and for real…" he yawned again, closed his eyes and gently began to snore.
Kissing his forehead Jack held Ianto safe in his arms. He felt a surge of relief. Ianto had done it again. He had come across a major hurdle and found a way through. It felt wonderful they had passed this hurdle. Ianto had experienced so much sexual abuse he wanted to counter that with as much loving and exciting, positive sex as he could. He held him close; it had felt so good, he had missed this so much and smiled as he knew Ianto was one step closer to being healed.