Hello everyone, I am so sorry for the delay in this chapter. At the end of the chapter I will be able to explain but I don't want to spoil the story so I hope you all enjoy this new chapter.
Still do not own Rizzoli and Isles, just taking these lovely ladies out for a spin
Maura walks to the door after she hears the knock. She opens it to see her hairstylist and she ushers the older woman in and they both quickly head upstairs to Maura's bathroom. Maura wants everything for this date to be perfect and if she is honest with herself she just doesn't trust her hands enough to allow her to get herself ready. When her hair and makeup were perfect Maura walked the older woman to the door and gave her a hug before she took her leave.
Maura stands in her bathroom staring at the dress she had picked out even before Jane and her even became anything. She saw it in the window of a boutique in New York on one of her shopping trips. But now that she is standing before the dress in a matching pair of teal lace bra, panties, and garter she cannot make herself put the dress on. The neckline is too low and the slit in the side that goes up to her hip. Her bright pink scars stick out too drastically against her fair freckled skin. Everyone in the restaurant including Jane will be staring at her and not for a good reason. What am I going to do. This is the dress, this is the dress I meant to wear on our first date. And now I can't my body is a total mess.
A half an hour later the M.E. finds herself sitting on the edge of the bathtub staring at a dress she cannot wear and freaking out because Jane should be arriving soon. Maura has no clue what she is going to do she needs to get dressed, but everything in her closet is either too short, or too low cut or Jane has already seen her in it. This was supposed to be the perfect first date but it can't be because she is scarred, broke and ugly now. Her eyes sting with tears as she grabs her phone and text the brunette.
Jane I am so sorry. I know you are probably getting ready but I can't. I can't go on this date. I want to date you but I'm not ready. I thought I was but I'm not. -M
That was probably the hardest text she has ever had to send but it had to be done. She doesn't even bother to remove her makeup before she heads to her closet and changes into a pair of yoga pants and an oversized t-shirt. She crawls into bed and curls up pulling her pillow to her chest. She knows that she quite possibly just messed up everything with Jane.
Jane was about three blocks away from the honey blonde's when her phone buzzed. At the stoplight she checked her phone and her heart sank. Why doesn't she want to go out with me? What the hell is going on. Because she was already so close to Maura's she didn't put on the lights and sirens or send Maura a text. We pulled into the driveway. The detective had planned on knocking on the door and presenting the flowers she had purchased but instead she walks right in and places the flowers on the kitchen island before going in search of Maura.
"Maura, baby?" Jane's voice is thick with panic. God please let her be here, please let her be okay. She walks down the hall and looks at the woman she loves curled up with her back to the door. "Maura, can you please tell me what's going on?" She climbs into bed and wraps herself around the smaller woman. The detective runs her hand up and down Maura's side, she gives the M.E.'s hip a soft squeeze. "Please, baby."
"I'm sorry I ruined everything." Maura says mournfully.
The detective kisses the side of Maura's head. "You haven't ruined anything. You scared the hell out of me with your text but you haven't ruined anything. I am here, I am going to be here for you no matter what. But baby can you please tell me what's going on?"
"I wanted everything to be perfect for you tonight, I wanted to be perfect. I had my stylist come over because though my hands have healed surprisingly well but I still cannot do my own hair and makeup the way I normally do. And everything need to be perfect for you." Maura's voice grows thick with sorrow. "My hair and makeup were perfect and I was getting ready to get into my dress. I took one look at myself in the mirror and realized I am hideous. I had the perfect dress, hair and makeup but the rest of me is just hideous. And I couldn't let you take me out and have everyone stare at you because you are with a monster."
"Oh, Maura." The detective crawls over the smaller woman and lays in front of her so she can look her in the eyes. "I need you to look at me right now and hear me."
The M.E. opens her eyes and takes a deep breath, she hadn't expected Jane to want to stay after she ruined everything.
"There you are beautiful." Jane smiles and tucks a strand of honey blonde behind Maura's ears. "You are not hideous, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever met. You are perfect Maura, you are perfect for me and I'd like to think I am perfect for you. We both have scars but that just proves how strong we both are. And if anyone is staring at us it's because my ugly mug is with the most beautiful woman in the room."
"Stop, please just stop. You are gorgeous and you cannot say I am not hideous you haven't seen me. Not all of me, I have been very careful to make sure that my skirts are long enough and my shirts are always buttoned all the way, or I wear baggy shirts and yoga pants at home. You don't know how ugly I am. And I have to see it, I make myself look everyday. Yes my incisions have closed and the bruises are gone. But I still have ugly bright pink scars." The honey blonde can't hold back the tears.
"Show me? Wait hear me out." Jane cuts the M.E. off. "I am not asking you to get naked and I don't want to be uncomfortable. So let me, let me see you. I promise you we'll take it slow, go at your own pace. You show me what you want me to see and nothing else."
"I'm scared of letting you see. I know you love me but seeing how torn apart I am will make you want to leave." Maura says softly.
"That could never happen and if you think about it for a little while I think you'll see I am telling the truth. But we can just lay here for a while so you can think about it. And if you don't want to do this then we won't, I don't want to pressure you." The detective says with compassion and kisses the M.E.'s forehead. They lay in each others arms with Jane rubbing soothing circles on Maura's hip.
"Okay." Maura nods as she tries to gain some courage. "I will let you see but please tell me the truth. Don't tell me what you think I need to hear. I need to hear your honesty."
"I only want you to do this if you are sure." Jane sits up and turns the bedside lamp on.
Maura chews her bottom lip and moves to get off the bed so she is standing in front of the brunette. She slowly slips off her yoga pants, the oversized shirt covers her nearly to the knee. She can't bring her eyes up to look at the detective. She figures it's a good thing the other woman hasn't run out of the room yet. She takes a quick glance up and sees Jane looking at the small puncture wound on her left leg and the bottom edge of the scar on her right leg.
"I still think you have the sexiest leg I have ever seen." Jane's smile falls when she looks up and sees the honey blonde staring at her feet. "You don't need to continue, you did great baby."
"No, just..just give me a minute." Maura takes a shaky breath. You can do this. She lifts the shirt over her head and drops it on the floor. She stands before the brunette in nothing but the teal lace matching panties and bra. She holds her breath and waits for Jane to say something, anything.
"Still the most gorgeous woman I have ever laid eyes on. Can you please come to me." The detective says softly. Maura steps forward, she still hasn't let out the breath she has been holding. "May I touch you Maura?"
"Jane." Maura says pleading with the brunette.
"It's not like that, I just want you to understand and if I can touch you I think can get you to understand. May I?" Jane explains
"Kay." The words get stuck in her throat. Maura moves closer to Jane.
"I'll do this slow okay." Jane says and the honey blonde simply nods.
Jane runs her hand from the outside of Maura's left knee upwards, her fingertips ghost over puncture scar. She looks up and makes eye contact with the woman she loves. She repeats the process on the right leg. Using her thumb she lightly traces along the length of the pink scar. Jane leans down and softly kisses from the bottom of the scar all the way to the top.
"No, please don't." Maura's voice is strangled and she attempts to push the detective away.
"Let me show you." Jane says softly and the M.E. nods again. "I love you, and I love every inch of your beautiful body."
Jane pulls Maura closer, and ghosts her hands over the flat plane of abdominal muscles. The brunette kissed both of the honey blondes hips and up her stomach. Jane stands and pushes the honey curls over the smaller woman's shoulders. The lanky woman stands never taking her eyes off of Maura's. She watches as hazel eyes search her own. Jane knows that she is searching for any sign of hesitation but she will never find any. The detective has wanted her best friend for so long that nothing matters but making her understand she is beautiful and the detective is not going anywhere. Jane places one hand on the M.E.'s lower back giving her support while the other hand lightly runs the length of the scar above Maura's left breast. It wasn't sexual, it was an act of tenderness to show Maura just how much she loves her. That she doesn't think any part of her is hideous.
Maura sucks in a breath as Jane's fingertips ghost over her scar. Her heart is pounding so hard she is sure Jane can feel it under her fingers. The detective looks into her eyes silently asking permission and Maura gives another silent nod. The moment Jane presses her lips to the smooth bright scar Maura's eyes fall closed. She finally lets out the breath she has been holding since that first night she came home from the hospital and got her first real look at her own body. The M.E. feels Jane's lips traveling up her chest, up her neck and then she presses their lips together. It's a soft gentle kiss, it's not pushy but still filled with passion.
"Thank you." Maura says against the brunette's lips.
"There is nothing to thank me for." Jane pulls back and smiles. "I still say you are the most beautiful woman on earth."
Maura bridges the gap and kisses the brunette, this time her arms wraps around Jane's neck. I do not know how I got this amazing woman in my life but I will do everything in my power to keep her here. I will show her everyday how much I love her. Maura's hands fist into long raven locks. As the kiss turns heated Maura moves and pushes Jane back onto the bed so she can straddle the brunette's lap. Jane's hands settle on the honey blonde's hips. When the lack of air become too much for either to ignore they pull apart panting. Maura sucks in as much air as she can and leans in for another kiss but Jane gently cups her cheeks.
"No Maura. We don't need to do this. This wasn't about sex this was me showing you how much I love you. And how much I still want to build a shrine to that perfect body of yours. We can make out all you want and cuddle. But I want our first time to be when you are comfortable with yourself again. And I will wait for as long as you need." Jane finally bridges the small gap and places a gentle kiss on Maura's lips.
"Have I ever told you, you are too good for me?" Maura says smiling. "And I am really sorry about the date. I would really love to have that date if you still want to. But I agree I think we need to wait a little longer. I am working on getting there and with your help I think it will be sooner rather than later."
"There is nothing to be sorry about and of course I still want to go out on our date." Jane leans her forehead against Maura's. "How about we go downstairs and I order us a pizza and we watch a movie?"
"That sounds wonderful. Let me get dressed and I'll meet you on the couch." Maura moves to pick up her clothes. She dresses quickly and pulls her hair into a loose ponytail and heads down stairs. Jane is on the phone and the short woman walks up behind her and wraps her arms around Jane's slender waist.
"Pizza should be here in 30 minutes. Got any movie preferences?" Jane says turning in the honey blonde's arms.
"Nope, whatever you want is fine." Maura says.
The pizza arrives and they settle down on the couch and end up watching Deadpool because Jane has begged Maura for nearly a year to watch it with her. That if she gave it a chance she would find it just as funny as Jane does. It takes the M.E. a little bit to get over all of the medical impossibilities but then she really started to enjoy the movie. When the movie finished both woman worked to clear the dinner dishes before heading upstairs. The both brushed their teeth and went through their nightly routines before falling into bed for the night.
Alright all so that's the newest chapter I hope you enjoyed it. I know you all thought this would be the date chapter but I just couldn't post the date yet. It didn't seem like the right time. Maura still has a long way to go with her own body image. I promise they will get there but there is still some healing to that needs to happen. Again I am sorry for the delay with this chapter.