Blythe's POV:
It was Friday, the day of the dinner party – an event only for the most privileged and at the same time the most boring people in the city. I was standing outside an old Elizabethan mansion on its graveled driveway. I played around with the sleeves of my black suit. Silver was standing beside me her arm tucked under Nate's. I was getting really nervous. Justin, where are you?
You may be asking yourself "What's he doing there? Why was that average kid invited to the party?" and well to be quite honest I have asked myself those questions many times. But the answer never satisfied me. Luckily people realized quite quickly I wasn't simply Silver's lapdog. She wasn't the reason I was invited, but my father was. He is a businessman back in Europe, one of the "Top Dogs" and even more - a global player. I was never much interested in what he did. The only thing I knew was, when I left for America with my mother, one of the reasons for their divorce was that he quite simply never came home. He'd missed a lot of my childhood and my mum decided one day he didn't deserve our love anymore. Even though I was only 11 my mum let me decide whether I wanted to stay with him or go to America with her. I decided to go with my mum. After all I'd hardly ever had contact with my dad. He didn't fight for me, but he kept his full custody rights - in case of an emergency, they said. I often wondered if my life could have been different, had I stayed back in Europe. I say Europe, because I had spent my early life moving from one mansion to another – Germany, France, Italy. Anywhere my father was needed, really. Even the cities in those countries weren't always the same. The longest I spent in one house must've been about 6 months. Therefore I never had any real friends, only Silver. She had the same fate. Our dads did a lot of business together and because we were roughly the same age, we became good friends and over time best friends. One could even say family. But when I was 10 years old, Silver's family moved to the US. Silver's Dad had decided to settle down and focus on his family. He still had his companies, but he had other people do the grunt work. That was also one of the reasons we moved here, because my mum was used to Hanna, Silver's mum being around. Unfortunately moving here didn't change things for the better. We had to live in a small apartment I had to go to a public school instead of being homeschooled. My life changed and it was scary. It was a huge adjustment, but we survived. My mum got a better job and soon she could afford a house. Life got a little bit better. Yet never on par to what my dad had given us.
Today my father had decided to come to America, to start caring about me, but I wasn't sure. He might just take me back to my mother. I didn't even know how he found out about my mum kicking me out, but I guess he has his connections. Perhaps it was Silver's parents, who told him – I didn't care either way. Why after all this time had he decided to step back into my life? Why did he want me to meet him at the dinner party?
I was nervous, even a little scared, but I was glad Justin would be with me all through the night. He was late – that better not turn into a habit. I decided to text him. "Where are you?" I wrote. More like where THE HELL are you… I sent the text unedited.
Pacing around the driveway, I thought back, about yesterday – the day of the photo shoot. I was so happy, it was one of the greatest days of my life.
I got into my car and immediately turned on the engine. I was ready to go. I had to.
I needed to protect myself from this – from him. I couldn't go through a heartbreak right now. "Heartbreak" – could I even call it that? How could Justin have so much control over me? I've only known him for a single day.
This is not fair. This "job" of mine, well I can't go back. I'm sure as hell fired. Silver wouldn't be able to take me in forever. Maybe she would, but I didn't want to use her anymore.
I put the car in reverse and backed out of the car park. I wanted to get home as fast as possible, simply wait on my dad, go back to Europe, go to university and have a normal, peaceful life. Things are going to be easy again.
I let the clutch slip and hammered down on the gas pedal. The car was accelerating rapidly. I skidded around a corner. The adrenaline rushing through my arteries was extremely satisfying. I didn't even know I was such a great driver.
"Oh FUCK!" I shouted as I saw someone walk right into the cars way.
I slammed down on the brakes and even pulled the handbrake.
The car came to a halt just seconds before slamming into the boy. It was Justin.
He looked at me, walked to the side of the car and opened the passenger door, sitting down without a word.
"Drive somewhere quiet." He said. "Just go."
I had to hold back tears, a single tears bursting from one of my eyes and running down my cheek, seeing him was killing me inside. I quickly wiped it away and turned on the car again. It had died, when I'd stopped for Justin.
I knew where I was going to go. A place that'd always helped me cope with this city, with this country, with all the people in it.
We didn't speak during the entire drive. It actually gave me time to think about what I was going to say to him.
Should I be honest? Tell him – everything? Why would he care?
Then again there was no way my life was going to get any worse. Telling him wouldn't destroy anything except maybe the remains of our friendship, but I don't know if I haven't done that already.
We arrived at the Cliffside I had visited so many times before. This was the first time I ever brought someone with me.
There was another storm coming up. Spring always seemed like the season earth used to cleanse itself.
We got out and walked onto the observation platform. There was no one around. No tourists, no vendors, no one at all. We were alone.
Justin was about to speak, but I interrupted him.
"I want to go first." I had to go first. "Are you cold?" I asked him. I may as well start off being polite.
"Uhm… Yeah, I guess. Why?" You're shirtless and it's freezing. That's why. Instead of answering, I decided to give him my jacket.
"Thanks." He smiled as he wrapped himself in the jacket.
I took a deep breath and looked right into his eyes, his deep dark brown eyes. They were so lovely. I wish I could tell him that. I wish I could tell him, that every time he looked at me, I melted inside.
"Justin, there's something I haven't told you. I'm sorry. I… I… I'm – gay. That's why I got so uncomfortable in the dressing room, but not because I'm a prude – it was because I'm attracted to you. Now, I can understand if your beliefs stop you from accepting me and being my friend, but it would be really cool if we could simply start over and stay friends."
This was one of those moments in life, where you'd love to have a remote and simply fast forward to a happy place and a happier time. I wasn't hoping for much. Maybe that he'd simply shout something vulgar at me, nevertheless I was prepared for him to hit me. I would take the beating. I deserved it for feeling the way I did.
I was completely unprepared for what happened next. He started laughing and crying at the same time.
"You're gay. You're gay. You're gay." He repeatedly shouted.
What's the hell is going on?
He dropped my coat and came closer to me.
He grabbed my hands, placing them at his sides, and pulled me into a tight embrace, wrapping his arms around my neck. Our faces were now in front of each other.
Everything was perfect. I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. There we were - two boys, crying and smiling at each other.
Justin was the first to act and pressed his lips against mine.
Ohmyfuckinggodyes! He is gay, too.
It felt – HE felt amazing. His soft, warm lips were pressing against mine.
Realization hit me. I had felt his lips and smelt him before. Could it be? Was he the one, who kissed me in the car park?
My thoughts were interrupted, by his tongue sliding along and desperately trying to pry open my lips. I couldn't have dreamed of it better. I gave in and let him in. Our tongues met and I could taste him. Oh gosh. It was wonderful.
We explored each other's mouths and the feeling of him and me intertwined was extraordinary. I pulled him close to my body, because I wanted to keep him warm. I traced my hands along his bare back. He was messing up my hair and carefully cupping my right cheek with his warm hand stroking it gently with his thumb.
We were very clumsy, crashing our teeth together occasionally, but I didn't care. My entire body was shaking. How could I get so lucky? I couldn't help myself, I simply smiled into the kiss.
He noticed and we pulled away from the kiss, grinning and panting like maniacs.
Oh my fucking god. I couldn't believe what had happened.
I tried to say something, but he stopped me by putting one of his fingers on my lips.
"Shh." He whispered and pecked my cheek.
"Okay, now you can talk." He chuckled.
"Justin, I…" I couldn't make up the words to express my feelings. He seemed to sense it and instead of waiting, he gently placed his lips on mine again.
This second kiss was much more loving and sweet. It was a simple gesture full of the right emotions. My stomach felt like a team of elephants was playing football on a trampoline – my stomach being the trampoline.
"Let's talk later." He said and I nodded. We pulled away from each other, but he quickly grabbed my hand with his and almost instantly our fingers intertwined. I smiled at him and he winked at me. He grabbed my jacket off the ground and put it on. I guided him towards my car and we got in.
"Where to?" I asked, unsure of what to do next.
"I'm hungry." Justin chuckled and I grinned at him.
"Do you want to go to my place? We can eat there and I can give you some clothes… Only if you want to of course…" I suggested.
"Sounds great." He answered and turned on the radio. A new David Guetta song was playing. "I love this song." He mentioned.
"Yeah, it's nice." I added as Justin started bopping his head to the music.
As I put my hand on the gear stick, he placed his on mine and intertwined our fingers. I looked at him and he smiled at me.
Driving was extremely tedious for me, because the only thing I wanted to do was look at the boy sitting beside me. I think he was enjoying being able to stare at me freely.
Even though we were basically flying, the drive seemed to last forever. We didn't talk, because, well, we didn't have to.
All I wanted to do was kiss him again. Feel him. Touch him. Seeing him for real in front of me was still making my head go crazy. It was like a fantasy come true.
I pulled up in front of the hotel and got out of the car.
I gave my car keys to the concierge, Jack, who winked at me and drove off into the garage.
I led Justin through the main hall, I saw him staring at the huge chandelier and then at its reflection on the polished marble flooring. We got into an elevator, after waiting for what seemed like an eternity.
The elevator was empty it only made one stop, where a cleaning lady got into the elevator. Her eyes widened, when she saw Justin, but she turned around without saying anything.
We got out on the top floor and walked to Silver's apartment.
"Welcome to my home." I said, as I continued from the hall into the lounge.
"Impressive." Justin smiled at me.
"It's not much, compared to what you have… I guess." I looked at the ground. What else could I expect from a popstar. I started walking towards the kitchen.
"No, seriously. This is nicer than my place." He turned me around, so that I was facing him.
"Somehow I can't believe that." I stated.
"My mum wants me to be a normal kid. She doesn't want the fame to get to me. Trust me. I would kill to live in an apartment like this." I almost felt sorry for him.
"Well what's the place you live in like?" I asked curiously.
"You're just gonna have to wait and find out." He smirked.
I rolled my eyes at him and proceeded to the kitchen.
"You still hungry?" I asked.
"Oh yeah, I'm starving." - "What do you want? Pizza?" He nodded and I got a frozen pizza out of the freezer.
"We're going to eat more than one pizza. I'm starving, bro."
"Okay, fine, B-R-O." I laughed.
"Don't mock me." He poked his tongue out at me.
"While the oven is heating up, you can go to my room and pick out some clothes, if you want. It's the second room on the right." I grinned.
"Okay, thanks. I'll be right back." He disappeared into the hall.
I walked over to the lounge area and turned on the television. I put on MTV. Some award show was on. The Grammys? Not sure.
I tidied up the couch, so we could have a meal and went back into the kitchen.
I put the food in the oven. All I had to do now was wait.
I checked my phone for messages and surprisingly I had a couple of missed calls and texts. I chose to ignore all of them, because I knew they'd be about Justin, work and… let's call it the incident.
"Hey, Blythe. I'm back." He posed against the kitchen island. He was wearing a pair of red skinnies and a grey and black flannel shirt. He looked gorgeous.
"I didn't expect the clothes to fit you this well, after all I am taller than you." I mentioned, while I took the food out of the oven and served it on two plates.
"Not by much. I'm starving. This smells amazing." He smiled and took the plate, sitting down on the sofa soon after. I followed him.
"What are we watching?" He asked me, stuffing the first, huge piece of pizza in his mouth. "Ohmygawdwisisgooood…" He mumbled through the food.
"I'm glad you're enjoying it. I think were watching some award show. The Grammys?"
"The what?" Justin nearly choked on his food.
"The Grammys. Why? Did you win all the categories again?" I smirked.
"Uhh look, Blythe. I'm sorry I gotta go, people are looking for me and I'll be in huge trouble as it is."
Justin got up and stormed into the hallway pulling out his phone.
What just happened?
"Wait – Justin? Don't go, yet! Please… I – did I do something wrong?" I had run into the hall as well.
Justin turned around tears in his eyes. He almost tackled me. He buried his head in my chest and pulled himself close into me. It almost hurt. I put my arms around him. I could feel he was holding back most of his sadness. He barely made a noise.
I decided to pick him up and carry him to the sofa again. Admittedly he was very heavy, but I didn't let it show. I turned of the television and let Justin sit on top of me. He was crying quietly into my shirt. I gently rubbed his back. "Justin, please tell me what's wrong. Talking to me might actually help you." He shook his head.
We spent the next half an hour like this. I felt sorry for him. At the same time I wasn't sure what to do. I was overwhelmed. Everything had gone so well. Too well, I suppose. He didn't seem to want to move or talk to me. So I just tried my best to be there for him in the limited ways I could.
All of a sudden Justin decided to talk. "He died. Ryan died. He's dead – god hates me."
"No he doesn't, Justin." I decided not to further investigate this Ryan person. But I connected the lines. Of course I'd heard about his car accident the news.
"Yes he does, I'm a fucking fag." He started to sob his heart out.
"Justin! Justin look at me." I pushed his head away from my chest. "You know it's not like that, Justin. Yes, you're gay, but you can't blame his death on that. You can't!" Justin's eyes seemed to brighten a little.
"Gosh, why are you so perfect? Just being with you makes me feel better." Justin put his head on my chest again.
"I think you know the answer to that, Justin." His phone rang.
Justin looked at me and kissed my lips. Still staying on top of me on my lap.
"Hey, Kenny! – Yes I'm fine. – I'm at a friend's house. – Yes, that's him. – I'll explain it later. – Ok, see you in a second." He hung up and put the phone back in his pocket.
"I guess that means you have to go." I said disappointedly.
He nodded and got up, walking into the hallway again, but taking my hand and pulling me after him.
"Are you mad at me?" He asked.
"No, I'm not mad." I half lied.
"Please don't be. Sometimes I can't control myself. I know you have issues, too. I'm not some egomaniac. I just – There's been a lot going on in my life lately."
"Tell me about it. I understand you completely. I'm not mad, just sad that you get depressed like that."
"Promise me, you're not mad?" He begged.
"I promise. But please don't ever run away from me or ignore me. I'm only human, you have to talk to me, if something's wrong."
He stepped forward and pulled me into a tight hug. "You're amazing, not just amazingly sexy, but also amazingly kind." He pecked my cheek.
"You, too." I smiled.
"You have an amazing place, here. I love your room." – "It's not my place." He gave me a confused look. "This is my friend Silver's apartment. It's a very long story, if I have to explain it to you in detail." He nodded.
"Are you sure you can't stay?" Please?"
"I'd love to, but Kenny, my bodyguard, is already outside. I have to talk with my manager about what happened as well. It'll be a real shit storm. They don't like me disappearing. My mum's probably also really worried. I disappeared the other night as well. My career is kinda on pause and – oh god. There's so much to do. I can already see it coming."
"Okay, I understand. I'm sure you'll manage. You're coming to the party tomorrow night, right?" I asked him and tried to make puppy dog eyes.
"You know, that works better, if you actually have brown puppy dog eyes, like me." He smirked. "Of course I'll come. Anything to spend time with you, Blythe."
He pulled me into another tight embrace. "I really don't want to go, but I really have to go. Fuck."
I pulled our faces closely together and kissed him again. "Here's something to remember me by."
"I'll always remember you. I really don't want to let go."
A text from Justin got me out of my memories and back to the present: "I can't come. I'm sorry. Please don't be sad. I'm a jerk."