Immediately I spit all the juice from the deadly berries out of my mouth while Katniss does the same. I pull her to the lake, and both of us are so happy, that she just jump right in. We rinse our mouths out with the lake water and we ask each other if we swallowed any, but neither of us did. She smiles a big smile knowing that we figured out a way to beat the Capitol-it's never been done before.
She splashes me with water and I swear I've never seen her so happy- It looks like the years of heartache and pain and worry have completely been wiped clean with the promise of a new life for her. Her family won't ever starve again, and they have a big house now, and not a care in the world.
I realize how happy I am, too. I went into these Games without the slightest hope of leaving this arena. I'd already prepared myself mentally for never seeing my family again, but I can, I can see them again. And I dare Riley to mess with me now that I've made it out of here! Not only that, but Katniss is coming back with me, and she isn't a stranger that I would do anything to talk to anymore.
I'm just now hearing the cheers and applause of the Capitol that they are playing over the loud speakers. It makes it even more exciting. Never in the history of Panem has this been done before! The citizens are probably very happy with the outcome of the games, considering we were the doomed star crossed lovers everyone felt so sorry for!
The hovercraft that will take us away from this hell and into a new life shows up over our heads. There are two ladders, but we use only one. Katniss links arms with me and each of us have one foot on the rung of the ladder. We're holding onto each other tight, and I don't notice how woozy I feel until we reach the inside of the hovercraft. The last thing I remember is seeing the bright silver floor of the hovercraft an inch from my face.
The first thing I see when I open my eyes is a ridiculous looking bright pink wig. My eyes are taking awhile to adjust to the fluorescent lights above me, though. As soon as they come into focus, I see Effie-that explains the wig- rushing over to me. She puts her hand on my forehead. "You're alive!"
"Yeah?"
"Well, you know, we just weren't sure you'd come back…"
"What do you mean?" I have a million questions, and I have a feeling that Effie isn't the best person to answer them. "Where's Katniss?" I admit that my first question should have been, "What the hell do you mean 'I'm alive?'" Effie smiles. "Oh, she's fine. You just worry about you right now."
"Where am I?"
"You're in the Capitol, in one of our best hospitals, can't you tell?" I look around and notice the neon colored tile on the floor. Of course. "How long have I been out?"
"Three days. You passed out from loss of blood as soon as you got into the hovercraft. Your heart stopped twice and they had to revive you, even then, on breathing machines and feeding tubes, you were in a coma." I take a better look at myself.
My chest wounds are disgusting looking. They were disgusting before, but now that all the remaining venom has been drained, the skin didn't regain its elasticity. I have three green and purple wrinkly skin patches on my chest. My face, I notice in a mirror- Capitol hospitals have mirrors everywhere- looks like hell. I've got bruises everywhere, and the nightlock, despite my best attempts to rid it all, has caused lacerations in my tongue and cheeks, which are now swollen.
My arms are bruised as well, and I'm hooked up to, I count, eight different machines and bags of fluid. I have no idea which does what. But the worst thing is, my lower leg, the one that was cut, is gone, and has been replaced with an artificial. I am thankful that I am alive and I am going home, but my life won't be the same without the leg. I lost a part of me. This one will definitely take some getting used to.
In addition to all of my physical deformities, inside, I feel like shit too. I've got a throbbing headache, and my back feels like tracker jackers stung me everywhere. I'm extremely nauseous and feel like throwing up, but there isn't anything to throw up. My lower leg is in pain, despite the morphling drip, and so is my mouth.
About an hour after I wake up, Effie excuses herself, for what I don't know. The Avox girl comes in with a tray holding water, a bowl of broth, and more pills than I can count, as well as packets of salt, and a flask of something. "What's all this?" I say. She pushes the tray towards me and gives me a head nod telling me to take it. "I don't feel well, do I have to take it now?"
I hear someone say "yes." And I look around. The nurse just came in, and is putting some gloves on. She pulls up a stool and sits by me."Good afternoon, Peeta. I'm Sira, your nurse." I just nod my head. I want to go to sleep. "You've got to take these pills to get well, but you can't take them without food and water, so I brought you whatever I thought you'd be able to keep down."
"What is the salt and the flask for?"
"The combination of the dark liquor in the flask and salt will kill the bacteria in your mouth from the nightlock berries."
Sira rips open a packet of salt and pours it in the flask, and tells me to drink it. I close my mouth tight and shake my head. "There's no way I'll be able to keep that down."
"It will help with the pain Peeta." I consider it, but the thought of consuming anything at all makes me sicker than I am now. I turn away from her and look out the window, but I don't have a view. Still, I stare at the neon brick wall outside my hospital room window until she sighs and leaves. "Tomorrow," she says, "you won't have an option, Peeta."
I hope tomorrow is better than today is. I'm still so weak that it's no trouble to fall asleep. I take a couple of deep breaths and try my best not to focus on the excruciating pain that I'm in. Instead, I think of home.
The first thing I dream about is a bakery. It's a nice bakery, it's one that I own myself, I've converted my house in the Victor's Village into it, but I'm not really sure where I live now. All the familiar faces at the Hob I see in my dream, all of them have enough money to buy my bread. They all look great. Even the poorest citizens all look very happy and well fed. No one is miserable and everyone has a smile on their face, and everyone greets everyone else in a friendly manner.
Even my mother is different in the dream. In the dream, I see my mother hugging my father and telling him she loves him, something I've never seen in real life. She hugs me too, and tells me that she is proud of me and how happy she is that I am home. Riley gives me a punch on the shoulder playfully. "I guess you'll be the one calling the shots around here, huh kid?" Jacob, for the first time ever, wears a smile on his face. He's never been sad, per say, but never really happy either. I'm not sure what it is about Jacob, he seems to pretty much live in his own world for the most part. But not here. Not in this dream. In this dream, he's as friendly and chatty as everyone else standing around in my bakery.
Haymitch comes in next, and he looks like a completely different person. He's clean shaven, wears clean clothes, he has his hair washed and slicked back, and he's sober. He walks over to me and gives me a pat on the back before looking towards the door, where Katniss and Gale walk in. Katniss and Gale are hand-in-hand, but when she sees me, she jumps into my arms. Gale doesn't look upset, he's smiling.
I wake up and realize that it's just a dream. I can only hope for such happiness and peace when I get home, but I'm no fool. Haymitch will probably never be sober, and Jacob won't ever wear any emotion. My mother, well, she won't say much. And just because Katniss and I won doesn't mean the happiness and nutrition of every citizen. We can't feed the whole of District 12 with our winnings, though I do plan to help as much as I can.
When Effie walks in, she tells me that I've been out another two days. "It's the morphling drip, it's made to relax your muscles so much that you're in sleep mode for awhile. The doctor is going to take it out tomorrow, though."
"When is the Capitol celebration thingy?" I ask her.
"In two days. And until then, we've got to make sure you're as handsome as possible, don't we?" I just look at her. She clears her throat. "So! Take your pills, okay?" Effie happily trots out of the room and informs the nurse that I'm awake.
I do feel better today, the nausea is there but not as much. The throbbing headache has turned into minor discomfort. The lacerations in my mouth have scabbed over, which is disgusting and feels weird, but at least it means they're healing. I realize they must have been medicating me in my sleep. "Will you take your medicine voluntarily today?" Sira asks me. I nod. I swallow the pills with one glass of water, then work on the broth. After an hour, I've managed to get down half the bowl, then I push it away because I can't hold anymore.
I don't mind the next visitor at all. "How are you doing, Peeta?"
"Hey, Portia."
"Well," she says, looking me over. "You don't look as bad as I thought you would." She walks over to me and messes with my hair and face. "Yes, we can work with this." She says, smiling. She sits down a chair and pulls it next to my bed. "How's that morphling working out for you?" She says, trying not to laugh. Morphling is a heavily addicting drug. "Guess I won't know till I'm off it, huh?" She laughs.
I spend the next hour or so talking to Portia and my other stylists, but then my eyes become heavy and I drift back off to sleep.
In this dream, I don't know how to feel. Katniss and I are at the celebration ceremony, in the Capitol. It's being recorded on live television throughout Panem, of course. President Snow is congratulating us. Then, he stands off to the side while Caesar interviews us. Halfway through my interview, though, I hear the crowd go from laughter to a sudden silence, then cries of terror. I look to Katniss, and she's somehow retrieved a bow and arrow from somewhere. She's got it loaded, and it's aimed at President Snow's heart. "No!" I yell, "Stop!" She looks at me, but shows no emotion, then she looks back at Snow and releases the bow, killing him instantly. Then, I see her smile.
I wake up sweating. Snow is a horrible, horrible man, and an even worse President. But in the dream I was afraid. I don't know why. Something felt eerily real in the dream, like it actually happened, but there's no way that it did. Something feels off, but I can't quite put my finger on it.
I take more pills today. Then, the morphling is taken out of me. Luckily, I don't have bad withdrawal symptoms. The doctor said the tolerance and dependence really just depends on the person. Since I'm tall and strong, it must not have affected me as much. "When can I see Katniss?" I ask Effie when she comes in. "They want the reunion to be live on tv." Well, yeah, I guess that makes sense.
I spend the rest of the day in physical therapy. For an hour at a time, I practice walking using my artificial leg. When an hour goes by, I get tired and they allow me to rest for an hour, then we start up again.
By nighttime, I'm walking well enough to be able to get through the awards ceremony, but not much else. Well, it's not like I plan to run a marathon anyway. I'll have much more time to get completely back to normal, or, at least, a new normal, back at home.
Before I sleep, I'm given my last dose of pills. By now, my face has returned to almost normal looking, but Portia said any other blemishes she can cover easily. The skin on my chest has been operated on and now looks close to normal, you can only see a few scars where they cut the dead skin off.
Sleep comes easily, and when I wake up in the morning, I'm taken to the remake center, where Portia will do her best to make sure I look like I haven't just been to hell and back. Cinna will be doing the same thing with Katniss.
The stylists use all kinds of oils and botanicals on my hair to make it soft and shiny again, though I don't see the point in that. It's not like President Snow is going to be running his fingers through my hair. Though, I don't bring this up to Portia. She files my nails on my fingers and toes, and paints them with a clear coat so they look less damaged. My face is waxed, which hurts, a lot, and I remember how much it hurt when they did that the first time, a short three weeks ago.
Portia uses concealer to hide the blemishes, and then I'm told to dress. I'm wearing a suit similar to the one I wore at the last interview, and then Portia, my stylists, and I, are guided down to below the stage, where we'll rise up through the floor onto the stage in front of the audience.
Music is playing, and the stylists go up first, each one standing on a metal plate that looks exactly like the ones that took us into the arena. Portia gives me a hug, but she looks a little worried, and I decide that maybe she is just worried I'll stumble, because she hands me a cane after that to help me stand, I'll have to be standing for awhile. I thank her before she rises, and I think I see the worry return.
Ten feet to my right, there's a makeshift wall, and I can guess who is behind it. I stand on my plate, then I hear the boom over the speakers, followed by more music, and the thundering applause of the Capitol audience.
Katniss and I come onto the stage at the same time, and we both steal glances at each other. The camera catches this. Our eyes turn from each other to the television screens, and in the screen, we make eye contact again. She looks stunning, totally different from the arena. Only I worry she's lost too much weight again. The good thing, is that now that she is a victor, she'll gain some weight back.
I smile at her, but she quickly turns her glance away from me and to President Snow, and I'm wondering if the look on her face as she watches President snow wave to the audience has something to do with my dream. I don't have time to dwell on it, though, as she is in my arms in the next three seconds. She's kissing me intensely, but it doesn't feel right, and I'm not sure why. For one, she isn't the type to do something personal in public. This kiss, it's nice, but it seems routine, not spontaneous, and I don't know why.
Haymitch pushes me, and I shoot him a look, then he directs us over to the victor's couch. There's plenty of space for both of us, but Katniss sits so close to me that we could probably fit two more people on this couch made for two. As if that wasn't weird enough, then she kicks off her shoes and leans her head on my shoulders. Instinctively, I put my arm around her and hold her close.
Something definitely seems off. Katniss isn't one to act like this, especially in public. I'm not complaining, no way, but it does seem odd. Then I tell myself to stop being paranoid. The only reason she was so fiercely independent before was because she had to be. Now that she has her winnings, she'll never have to put love and family and friendship second to survival.
We have to watch the entire Hunger Games replay on the television, which is hard to do without shouting obscenities at the President sitting only a few yards away from us. Katniss, if she didn't figure it all out before, now knows exactly why I did all the things I did- to keep her alive. There is one thing I didn't even know I did though, and that's whisper her name in my sleep when I was dying on the riverbed. We got a lot of "ooohs" and "awwws" when this happened, and Katniss put her hand behind my head and kissed me.
I felt so proud of her for what she did when Rue died. Staying with her that way, and singing to her. That must have been where the Mockingjay I heard sing picked it up. Because, for the first half of the song, while Rue was still alive, the tone was normal. After Rue took her last breath, the tune sounded pained.
Then the audience goes silent as the moment with the berries arrives. I am wondering just how much they'll show of it. I know the Capitol officials aren't very happy about it. So they probably won't show much. Instead of announcing our victory, the video skips over to the hovercraft and I watch myself pass out. Katniss is then shut behind a glass door, frantically trying to reach me. I see myself flatline twice, and I have to admit, I have chills.
The Capitol anthem plays as the president breaks the crown into halves and places one half on my head and one on hers. Then for the next five minutes or so, all we do is wave, and smile, and let the press take our pictures, until finally Caesar Flickerman bids everyone good night and tells them to tune in for the final interviews tomorrow.