Hindley had actually locked Francis in the bedroom and he couldn't get out. Not only was it an arcane thing to do but it was exceptionally cruel. Hindley had seemed such a gentle soul when Francis first met him, but he soon found out that his temper that lurked beneath that calm exterior could be explosive. No Hindley hadn't ever hit him, in fact he was protective of him, even so, being treated like some sub servant being was taking its toll on Francis and Hindley just couldn't see it. He'd spent his entire life treating people like they were inferior, and he knew no different. When the nations had finally left, some protesting as to the disappearance of Lady Francine, then Hindley finally unlocked the bedroom door. Francis was already dressed but he didn't even look at him when he exited the room, and Hindley didn't say a word either. Instead he went out to do his usual business leaving Francis at his home to tutor his son. He was still angry, and he didn't like the fact that Francis was wearing his wife's dress when he did what he did and humiliated him in front of the whole world, at least that was the way he saw it. However, as the day wore on and he calmed down, he realised that he really had been unfair to the man he loved. It's true, he was only dancing, he wasn't trying to humiliate him or hurt him, or soil the memory of his dead wife. Hindley started to feel the guilt rising in his chest. What he had done was inexcusable.
Francis in the meantime had finished Young Arthur's study programme for the day and let the boy have some time to go out and play.
"It was a dream… that turned to a nightmare…" he mumbled as he watched the child play outside, running around in the garden.
Mr Townsend was in the dining room when he walked through, very subdued, his mind filled with thoughts of the previous nights events. He felt some pangs of guilt but didn't know if it was right or wrong to feel that way. He never wanted to upset Hindley, but he had no idea what he was doing wrong. Hindley seemed to have taken everything very badly, and that hurt Francis deeply, but the worst of it was the thought of Hindley wanting him to be Alice. It was frightening, and he wondered how far the enigmatic Lord Kirkland would go to get what he wanted.
"Is … everything alright Sir?" Townsend asked, with genuine concern.
"No, everything is not alright." He replied. "I wanted to ask you Townsend… how was Lord Kirkland after the death of his wife?"
Townsend was quiet for a moment before he spoke up. He looked concerned and thoughtful. "Alice was everything to him." He said "They were together all the time, she was his best friend, his confidant and his wife. Much like…" Townsend started to say and then stopped himself. Then he spoke quietly. "Much like you Sir." He said. Francis looked at him, realising that Townsend wasn't a fool and he knew what was going on with them.
"You know, don't you?" Francis asked.
"I do Sir." He replied. "It has not gone unnoticed, but I will say nothing to anyone."
Francis nodded, and looked down at the floor. He really didn't know what was best now, or if any of this was even real anymore.
"When Alice died after giving birth to Young Master Kirkland, Lord Hindley changed. He had this darker side to him. A deeper, darker anger, that burned within his heart. Lucky for us we hardly ever saw it surface but it was there all the same. We try to keep calm and carry on, and mostly things work out alright, but… last night I heard him shouting at you. That is what we are all wary of… that side of him."
Francis looked up at Townsend, looking really upset and hurt about everything. He was stuck in this time and knew no one, he had nowhere to run to and nowhere to go. Hindley's temper was becoming more and more difficult to live with and he didn't know what to do. He had seen him angry, and he'd even punched his Arthur in the face and made him bleed, then he'd threatened to kill him… why in the world hadn't he seen what a dangerous man this was in the first place? Was he so taken with being in love that he couldn't see it? Francis found himself wishing that his Arthur would just come back and get him now… but that wasn't going to happen. Townsend bowed and got on with his duties, as Francis walked away. He had to get out of there. He realised he was in a relationship with a sick murderous jealous man, who would stop at nothing. He was afraid now, very afraid of Hindley, after the way he'd treated him. Francis opened the front door to the mansion and walked away even though it was starting to rain. He just kept on walking, not knowing what he was going to do or where he was going to go, just that he had to get as far away from the Kirkland Mansion as he could.
And an hour later the master arrived home, by this time feeling absolutely terrible about what he'd done. He dismounted from his horse and ran into the mansion, calling for Francis but he wasn't anywhere around. "Francis!" He called but there was no answer. He looked in every bedroom and downstairs room, but he was nowhere to be found. "Francis, where are you?"
"Master Bonnefoy has gone Sir…" Townsend eventually said when he was able to get hold of him. "He didn't say where he was going, he just left…"
"Left? What do you mean… he left?"
"If it is any help Sir, he went East, towards the clifftops." Townsend said as he bowed a little.
"Towards the clifftops?" Hindley asked "Well.. w…why would he do that? Where's he going to go…?"
"He was quite upset Sir." Townsend replied.
"Upset… right…" He uttered and turned away. A sense of urgency came to him and he ran out of there and grabbed his horse from the stables. He had to go after Francis, he couldn't just let him walk away from him like that.
Francis had been walking for about an hour and a half, and even when it started to rain it was as though he didn't feel it. Thoughts were running through his head and he couldn't escape them. There was nothing good about this situation. Hindley wasn't what he thought he was, and he still loved Alice. If things carried on he might really snap one day and then what? Would Hindley really hurt him or kill him? At this point in time Francis believed that he would, and nothing would stop him. When he heard the unmistakable sound of horses hooves behind him, a fear gripped his heart and he turned around to see Hindley galloping up behind him on that damned horse of his, the same one that had almost killed him the first time they met. Instinctively he began to run but it was no use, as he caught up with him in minutes.
"Francis, stop!" He cried "Where are you going?"
"Anywhere away from you!" Francis replied. "I can't be with you Hindley, you're sick!" he said as he continued walking quickly and not even looking at him.
"There's nowhere for you to go." He cried. "Only the cliffs… Francis why are you doing this?"
"Don't you know?" He asked angrily. "That was the cruellest thing you've ever done to me Hindley, and I know its only the start."
Lord Kirkland stopped the horse and dismounted, moving in front of his lover to try and stop him. "Look will you please just stop and listen?" He said pushing him backward a little. Francis didn't retaliate, he just stood there, waiting for some abuse or something from him. Instead Hindley was gentle again, all the anger had gone.
"I am truly sorry, from the bottom of my heart…" He said with utmost sincerity "It was just that it was Alice's dress and… it got to me."
"You had the insane idea of dressing me in her clothes, to save you the embarrassment of being in a relationship with me. Just because I am a man… it was insane Hindley, it was the stupidest thing you have ever done!" Francis retorted, hurt and anger present in his voice.
Hindley looked very guilty and coughed a little trying to pluck up the courage to continue. "You're right it was insane… I'm so sorry Francis… "
"I didn't want to wear her clothes, I was doing it for YOU!" he said emotionally, his breath shaking as he spoke. "I have no clothes of my own, everything is yours… or…or Alice's… and you're in control of my every move… what am I to do?"
"Please… if… if you just come back… we'll go to the town in the morning and buy you a set of clothes all of your own, just... please come home…" Lord Kirkland practically begged.
"How can I go back now? I humiliated you didn't I…? In front of all your friends…" Francis replied, unable to stop the tears from coming. "I'm a whore, aren't I? A French tart, isn't that what you called me?" He sobbed. "I was only dancing…"
"Look … I'm… a man who is set in his ways… I… " As he looked up he saw that Francis was crying and his heart leapt. "Oh Francis…" he uttered sadly "I didn't mean to make you cry…" he said "You're not a whore…What I did was inexcusable… " he said as he touched his face tenderly, to try to wipe away those tears that were mingling with the raindrops. It was raining a little harder now and getting colder.
"Don't touch me…" he half whispered and pulled away. "You've been trying to turn me into some twisted version of your dead wife…" he said, "I'm not Alice, I will never be Alice no matter what you say or do to try and make it so." He continued "I am not Young Arthur's other Daddy or his mother or whatever you want to dress it up as… you are trying to make me something I'm not."
"Is… is that what you think?" gasped Lord Kirkland looking shocked. He genuinely had no idea that's how he was coming across. "I… I don't think you're Alice… what the…?"
"You dressed me in her clothes Hindley!" cried Francis. "You treat me like I'm your wife, and you put me in a position where I'm responsible for Young Arthur, and you control everything I say and do... it's not right Hindley, its sick! You still love her, don't you?" he wept "Then you locked me in that room, you locked the door and left me there, I mean, how long before you lose your temper? I mean really lose it…? I shudder to think what you'll do to me!" he cried as he tried to walk on through the pouring rain.
Hindley grabbed his arm and pulled him back. "You've got it all wrong Francis, I would never hurt you… never!" he said "Last night when you were wearing her clothes, it was as though I was hallucinating… I thought I saw her… but it was you." He confessed. "I hate myself for what I did… please… please can you try to forgive me?"
"I can't…" Francis replied. "I am afraid of you…"
"No…no you don't need to be afraid of me… " he replied desperately "It's you I love I swear…" He said and hugged him. "I've been a terrible person to you, but all I ask is just one more chance to show you I love you, that I care…" he cried " You've no idea what it's like… " He continued "Loving you so deeply in this damned world where our kind of love is forbidden by everyone… by the world, by the law… having to pretend nothing is going on when all I want is to show them all that I love you. Yes, it really annoyed me when they showed interest in you, and I'm sorry about that, but I love you so… deeply … so desperately, that seeing another man attracted to you in any way… it hurt me… it hurt me Francis." He uttered "I was always told our kind of love was wrong in every way. I believed it… and you've shown me that love is deeper than what society forces upon us. I'm asking you now to forgive me…"
Francis couldn't help but feel for him. It was as though everything he was thinking about him, all the darkness, as if it was melting away. "You… you'll have to control your temper a bit m.. more…" he sobbed. "And… I'm not Alice… I'm not…"
"Oh my love, what have I done to you?" He sighed, full of guilt, as he held him. "What have I done…?"
Francis sunk to the ground feeling completely drained of energy. He could not deny that he did love Lord Kirkland, and he was confused about how he could have seen him in such a bad light. He understood that he'd been through a lot, that he was a man of his time, and he was learning and changing.
"Of course you're not Alice…" Hindley whispered, as he knelt down to him. "I'm sorry I gave you the impression I was trying to turn you into her…" he said "I loved her but she is gone… it is you I love I promise. Tomorrow we go to town and buy you your own clothes. Alright?" He continued "I'll throw out everything that belonged to her, and you'll see that I don't need to cling to the past anymore. Will you come back with me Francis?"
Francis put his arms around him and wept on his shoulder through the raindrops. "Oui.. Je t'aime Hindley… Je t'aime…" he sobbed. "Je suis desole…"
"I'll never lock you up again, or treat you like that ever again." He promised sincerely. He then helped Francis on to his horse and got up behind him, holding him there so he didn't fall off, then rode back to the Kirkland mansion with him, through the pouring rain. When they got there, Hindley helped him from the horse and half carried him inside, out of the dreadful weather. Once inside he didn't stop, but helped him up the stairs and into the bedroom, making sure he was alright. Once there he helped him out of his wet clothes and into something dry, as he did for himself and they got into bed together. Hindley held Francis close to him all night, still feeling terribly guilty for what he had done, and Francis clung to him as if for dear life, for even thinking that Hindley would go so far as to hurt him, he could see that beneath the surface he was a man who was trying to change, and that was a beautiful thing. As he lay there, finally feeling more relaxed he realised his lovers chest was heaving a little and he could sense those tears in his eyes. By now he knew that his lover was a proud man but he was crying. "Hindley… it's alright to cry you know…" he whispered.
"Go to sleep." Hindley replied softly and held him close. "Just go to sleep…" he uttered and kissed his head.
Francis lay there comforted in his arms but worried for him. He was no longer afraid of him, but hoped he was alright, and he cursed himself for thinking all those bad things about him. He snuggled up to him, knowing how deeply upset his lover was. Both of them changed that night, well aware of their situation but deeper in love than ever before.