Here we are: The Final Chapter
Before us, is an extremely exorbitant amount of food. It's like nothing I've ever seen before. We're in a huge ballroom, and there are so many different tables of food, all for us. There's a buffet with nothing but seafood that I can't seem to get enough of, and Katniss is eating fruit like there's no tomorrow. And these aren't just your average, gathered fruits. They have fruits shipped in from not only all over Panem, but from different countries. There is one fruit in particular that we both seem to enjoy, it's called Passion Fruit.
After our stylists and Haymitch and we eat our fill, it's time to smile and pose, and hug and kiss for the cameras. Magazines and Newspapers will have cover stories of us, and of our triumph. By the time the night is over, I see purple dots everywhere that I think won't ever go away from the amount of camera flashes.
Katniss doesn't let go of my hand, and President Snow must be enjoying this because… he doesn't stop looking at us. It is making me a little uncomfortable just how fixated he is on us to be completely honest. The sky outside is turning orange, and I know the sun will set soon.
By the time the sun is the lowest on the horizon, the sky turns a pretty shade of pink, and we make our way to the elevator of the training center, just one last time. I'm a nervous wreck, I haven't had the chance to talk to Katniss since we left the arena, and I want to ask her if she is okay and if tell her about my leg.
I don't get the chance. "Peeta, go with Portia to get fitted for an interview."
"Can I just…"
"No. Do I have to personally escort you?"
"No," and I curse him under my breath, but I follow Portia and Haymitch walks Katniss to her room. Maybe she'll meet me on the roof later?
I get into the "pants that need fitting", but really all Portia does is just make sure they fit, which they do, so I'm wondering what Haymitch's problem is. Maybe he doesn't want us distracted before the interview, though, I don't see what the big deal is. We've already won the Games.
Immediately after Portia leaves, I slip up to the roof. But she isn't there. I decide maybe Haymitch is talking to her, or maybe she is enjoying that shower with all the fancy buttons like I can't wait to do when I get back to my room. I wait around for two hours, but then I decide she isn't coming.
I go to knock on her door, but Haymitch catches me as I'm walking past his room on my way to hers. "Hey boy, care for a drink?" I shake my head no. "Aw, don't be a ninny, get in here and toast with me." Well, how exactly am I supposed to get out of this? I can't just say I'm going to Katniss' room for several reasons, and I've already passed my room. So I just join Haymitch.
I decide to have a drink, it's not like I'm going to let myself wind up like Haymitch.
"So, where were you going so late at night?"
"I was feeling confined, I just wanted a walk." Haymitch takes a swig from his flask, and I then passes it to me and I do the same. "Sure you were. If that was a walk, what were you on the roof for?"
"Fresh air." Haymitch smiles slyly. "She's sleeping. I told her she needs as much sleep as she can get for tomorrow, so don't take it personally." I play dumb.
"Take what personally?"
"Take her not meeting you up on the roof like you guys did before personally." I take another drink, and then have to listen to Haymitch blabber on about something or another, and I can tell he's trying to keep me here as long as possible so I don't go talk to Katniss.
His plan works, because by the time he passes out on the ground, it's very late, and I am exhausted. My body still isn't completely recovered, so I really do need a lot of sleep as well. I've waited this long to talk to her, I suppose there's no harm in waiting until the train ride home, so I go back to my room and pass out on my bed.
I thought the interviews were going to be like they were before the Games, but really it's more like a private interview. Effie takes us both down to a sitting room in the Training Center, where the couch from last night has been moved and is in the center of the room, surrounded by roses. There are maybe six or seven cameras, and fourteen crew members in the room, plus Caesar, but that's it.
Immediately, Caesar gives Katniss a hug and gives his congratulations to her. She is making small chit chat with him but keeps eyeing me, and when Caesar finally flints off to talk to a cameraman, I pull her to the side. "I hardly get to see you. Haymitch seems bent on keeping us apart."
"Yes, he's gotten very responsible lately." Somehow I don't think that's what it is, but I just ignore it. "Well, there's just this and we go home. Then he can't watch us all the time." This is definitely true. We'll actually have to be the ones keeping a watchful eye on him now.
We take our places on the couch, this time, she sits kind of far away from me, but then Caesar tells her not to be shy in his own little way, and she scoots closer to me and I wrap my arm around her so that we're sitting like we were last night. Then I hear, "Three. Two. One. Action."
"Well, Peeta, congratulations first of all on that big win! I bet you didn't see that coming." I play along like I normally do. "I sure didn't, Caesar. That win probably threw me off more than it did you."
"So tell me, whose idea was it? The berries, I mean?"
"It's all her. She's always been intelligent, that way." For some reason, when I say this, Katniss winces, and Haymitch is staring at me funny. "I love this guy!" Caesar says. "I tell you, Katniss, don't ever let this one go!" She just gives a half-smile and nods.
"Well, Peeta, we know, from our days in the cave, that it was love at first sight for you at what? Age five?"
"From the moment I laid eyes on her." Even though there is no audience, I can still practically hear their reaction. He looks at Katniss now.
"But Katniss, what a ride for you. I think the real excitement for the audience was watching you fall for him. When did you realize you were in love with him?" I am so very thankful to Caesar for asking this question, because I am dying to know.
"Oh, that's a hard one…" She gives a nervous laugh and looks down, and it's clear she doesn't know what to say. I'm sure if we were alone she would, but the cameras are intimidating, to say the least. Caesar goes on.
"Well, I know when it hit me. The night when you shouted out his name from that tree." Her face lightens up, and I can tell a light bulb goes off. "Yes. I guess that was it. I mean, until that point, I just tried not to think about what my feelings might be, honestly, because it was so confusing and it only made things worse if I actually cared about him. But then, in the tree, everything changed."
"Why do you think that was?"
"Maybe… because for the first time… there was a chance I could keep him." I can still hear the audience's reaction. Of course Haymitch ruins the moment by making some weird sound. It sounds like he choked on his liquor. I try to steal the moment back, and I press my forehead to hers. "So, now that you've got me, what are you going to do with me?"
"Put you somewhere you can't get hurt." This normally would bother me, since I'm the one that wanted to protect her from the start, but I actually was the one getting hurt the most. I kiss her and the people in the room love it.
Caesar asks about my leg, the artificial one, and I figure out that Katniss doesn't know about it yet, and for a moment, I feel guilty for not telling her. But then, I never really had a chance to. Of course she immediately blames herself for it, because of the tourniquet, but then I tell her if it wasn't for her quick thinking I'd have bled to death, which seems to ease her a little bit.
Still, she buries her face in my shirt. It's a little too quiet, now, I guess, because Caesar brings up the berries again. "Katniss, I know you've had a shock, but I've got to ask, the moment you pulled out those berries, what was going through your mind?"
"I don't know, I just…couldn't bear the thought of…being without him."
Well, it goes without saying, I'm on cloud 9 right now. "Peeta, anything to add?"
"No, I think that goes for the both of us." After this, Caesar says his goodbyes to the cameras, and they shut off. Haymitch pulls Katniss to the side, and Caesar pats me on the back. "It's been a pleasure, Peeta."
"You too Caesar."
Time flies for the next few hours. First, I'm escorted by Effie back to my room to get the rest of my things, and I say goodbye to Portia, who is standing by the car ready to take us back to the train station, on our way home.
On the train, the farther we get from the Capitol, the weirder everyone becomes. Haymitch is reveling in his successes, and is actually drinking a bit less. Effie is on edge, because she doesn't feel very comfortable in District 12 when she is so used to the luxury of the Capitol. And Katniss, well, as time goes on, she becomes more and more like the stranger I knew than the girl who kissed me in the arena. I have to wonder why, but she is probably just distracted, thinking of home.
When the train stops for fuel, I lead Katniss by the hand outside to have a few moments alone since we haven't had a chance to talk really. We walk hand in hand down the track, and she is distracted, though I don't know what by. I pick up some wildflowers and hand them to her and it seems to bring her back to me, because when she sees them, she smiles. But she doesn't say anything, and her smile fades quickly. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing" she answers a little too quick, so naturally, it isn't nothing. Haymitch is the one to actually clue me in to what's going on. He tells us to "keep it up" in the District, and "we should be okay." I have to wonder what the hell that means, and it's clear Katniss knows what he is getting at. When he leaves, I direct my attention to her.
"What's he mean?"
"It's the Capitol. They didn't like our stunt with the berries." Oh, so there it is. This is what's been bothering her from the celebration. But why wasn't I informed of this? Did Haymitch think I couldn't handle it? Did Katniss not trust me?
"It seemed too rebellious. So, Haymitch has been coaching me through the last few days. So I didn't make it worse." So that's why he's been keeping us apart. That's why she's been extra loving, and that's why her kiss on stage that night felt forced and different. Because it was.
"Coaching you? But not me?"
"He knew you were smart enough to get it right?"
"I didn't know there was anything to get right?" What is she getting at? Was everything she said, the way she acted, was it all a big façade?
"So, what you're saying is, these last few days and then I guess….back in the arena….that was just some strategy you two worked out?" It's hard for me to ask the question, but even harder to hear the answer.
"No. I mean, I couldn't even talk to him the arena right?"
"But you know what he wanted you to do, didn't you?" Her silence confirms my worst fears.
"Katniss?" I let go of her hand at this point. I don't know what bothers me more, the fact that she and Haymitch played with my emotions, or the fact that she lied to my face, more than once. "It was all for the Games," I realize. "How you acted."
"Not all of it."
"Then how much? No, forget that. I guess the real question is, what's going to be left when we get home?"
I can handle my mother's scorn. I can handle stale bread. I can handle being reaped. I can handle nearly dying, several times. But what she says next, I cannot handle. "I don't know. The closer we get to District 12 the more confused I get." I am waiting, waiting for her to say anything, anything at all that will make this hurt less, even just a little less. But, nothing comes.
"Well, let me know when you work it out." I say, and I try not to let myself feel vulnerable, because that is what got me into this position in the first place. I'm walking back to the train now, and my shattered heart causes me pain in my chest, and it's unlike any pain I've felt before, much worse than anything else I've experienced.
Partially, I blame myself for not assuming that it was an act. Had I not been careful to watch for that? I've watched my mother put on acts all her life, and I always knows when she is faking. But, even though Katniss is a horrible liar, did I really not see through the lie?
I feel like I've been made a fool of on national television. The poor lovesick boy and the girl who just wanted to do anything to go home. And they planned the whole thing out, behind my back. Well, it won't happen again. I'll see to it.
I go straight to my room. Haymitch tries to ask me what is going on, but I slam the door in his face, which I'm sure, shocks him. Being too nice is what got me into this situation in the first place. And, to keep the three of us all safe from the Capitol, I'm going to have to hold her hand and kiss her and hug her for the cameras. Knowing that it's all fake, knowing that I can't have it.
The next morning, I grab her hand at the train station before the doors open, but this time, I grasp it lightly. I use all my focus to keep my expression cold and lifeless. With absolutely no emotion in my voice, I tell her, "Just one more time. For the cameras?" And then I swallow hard, and come to terms with the fact that nothing new waits for me in District 12. Katniss and Gale will go and hunt together. Haymitch will get drunk all the time. And I will bake bread. And it will be like nothing ever happened.
Thank you all for sticking with me throughout this whole thing. I know a few of those thick, long paragraphs must have been brutal to get through. It took me a lot of time but I finished it faster than all my other fanfics, and I haven't ever enjoyed writing something as much as I enjoyed writing this.
Update: March 20, 2012. Want more? I started Catching Fire. Check my profile for the link.