Author's Note: Aww love you guys so much for all the reviews! I was going to go to bed till I read some reviews and I got all pumped up to write this chap now… XD so if I do my exam tomorrow with baggy eyes… well, we all know who to blame ne? :P Enjoy this chapter, it'll be intense… PLEASE read the A/N at the end of the chapter, there's some important information… e.g. am leaving for China for a bit…
)CheeseyCraziness( - Aww, I'm sorry… :( To be honest I really don't know when the story will get happier… n.n; I'm not through with the list of problems I must have in this story yet… XD;; :laughs evilly:
)sparklesandjay( - I knooow! If only everyone would just admit who they really like! Then everything would work out perfectly! XP
)CelestialMoussy( - Thank you so much for your review, I always LOVE to hear other people's opinions on ideas and themes. Your review brought out a side of 'Wanted' that many people missed, and for that I am very glad. :) I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far, and I will do my best not to disappoint you!
)sherina( - Here's a tiiiny spoiler: the marriage issue will definitely be solved… though… probably in the sequel… n.n;
)lhaine07( - How ironic the things change sometimes, isn't it… despite Syaoran being the "cruel" on in the beginning, the "heroes" are now switching roles with him…
)-ur-hearts-desire-( - Oooo then let me know at the end of this chapter if your prediction was correct! :3 And hope you did well on your chem exam! :O
)hamxham( - Thank you so much! :hug: I'm so happy to hear you like it so much!
)yingfa07( - I know what you mean! They are making the situation sooo complicated! Wouldn't it be so much easier if they all came out and said who they really liked? :P Syaoran will find out about Sakura's marital status of course… and as he does there will be another surprise for him… o.o Umm btw could you leave ur review via the 'review' button at the end of the story as opposed to a PM…? n.n; it's just that I like keeping all my reviews and with the PM it sometimes gets lost in my very messy email inbox… o.o
Thank you guys so much for the reviews! And glad you are all enjoying the story! (and hopefully you will continue to after this chapter! n.n;)
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Chapter Twenty-Three
Mistake
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—
From that day forth, a vicious cycle began.
Lilia did not plan it to be so—it was something that happened by itself, without her consent.
After leaving Jayx, after many days of difficult traveling, she at last arrived at the castle once more, in the middle of summer.
Her arrival this time was received much more differently than the first. As Lilia came closer and closer towards the castle, soldiers rushed forth and greeted her, going on their knees in perfect rows on both sides, as two knights accompanied her to the castle gates.
By the time she did arrive at the grand gates, King Reyn was already there, waiting for her.
In that moment, bathing in the treatment she is receiving, watching the way King Reyn waited and drank in her every movement, Lilia felt as if she might overflow. Especially after having recently lived through such torture with cold and loveless Jayx.
When they were within a few meters of one another, Lilia had to place a hand over her heart, afraid it might leap out of her throat. "Reyn…" she whispered.
He smiled lovingly as he grasped her hand, and kissed it softly, despite her tired and probably messy appearance. "Welcome home, my Queen."
And Lilia couldn't help the smile that blossomed over her face as she stared into those familiar, loving eyes. "I'm home, Reyn."
—
Perhaps it was because of how much more perfect life within the castle was compared to that of a commoner's. Perhaps it was the way Reyn spoiled her. Perhaps Lilia wanted to be loved, and clearly Reyn did that much better than Jayx did as of recent. Or maybe, just maybe, all along, Reyn was the only one who ever meant anything in Lilia's heart.
Whatever the reason was, Lilia did not wish to part. She did not want to leave the castle. Ever. Thinking about having to return to Jayx only dimmed her mood. Returning to Jayx became something she dreaded, especially knowing the way he would treat her upon her return.
But seasons were changing, and Lilia knew her and Reyn's days were numbers. After all, she had been the one to leave him. She had been the one who promised to try to help him find a new bride… what right did she have to linger here, delaying the inevitable for them both?
And so, during mid-autumn, Lilia once again, began to pack and plan for her trip back to a place she used to consider home.
King Reyn sat atop their bed as he leaned against his pillow, staring at Lilia wearily, as she folded some simple dresses and packed them into her small straw-bag. "Must you leave so soon, Lilia?"
Lilia sighed, but couldn't help but to smile a little at the amount of concern and longing he had for her. But a deep ache was beginning to develop in her heart, and she knew that if she stayed any longer, she might simply choose to never return. "Reyn… honey, you know why…"
"Of course I do. I only dream about killing him about three times a day."
Lilia chuckled sadly. Just recently, during her second time visiting Reyn, she began to ponder more and more with each passing day: had there not been a misunderstanding, had I not misunderstood Reyn's love for me as pity, perhaps… this would not have happen? Maybe we would be together, forever, without Jayx's presence…?
It was a terrible thought, she knew, but Lilia couldn't help it. After all, Reyn was her first love. And they have been together for a much longer time.
King Reyn sat up as he stood up and walked over to her, hugging her around the waist from behind. "You promised you'd be here for me when I need you…"
Lilia leaned back against him and closed her eyes. "And I kept that promise… I've been here for you for an entire season's time…"
"But what if I need you forever…?"
Lilia giggled. "Then, you're just being greedy." And she forced herself away from his embrace as she went back to packing.
After a long moment of silence, Reyn asked quietly, "Will you return?"
Lilia paused, as she spun around to look at him in the eyes. Studying his features, she wanted to say 'yes, of course I will. Wait for me.' But she realized that it wasn't as if she were going on a trip and asking her husband to wait for her return… she was going back to her husband… And so, she replied. "Reyn… a fair amount of time has passed… it's… it's not fair to you like this… you must find a new Queen, and I am not helping that…"
King Reyn stared at her intently. "I've told you many times. Do not speak of that in front of me. There is only one woman I want as my Queen, and you know who she is. She is the only one who has ever rejected that position and escaped me."
"Reyn—"
"Lilia, you can't tell me that during the days you spend with Jayx, you have not once dreamt of coming back here?"
Lilia looked away. "It's just not fair, Reyn…"
He reached forward and tilted her chin upwards so that she would look into his eyes. "I don't care about fairness, Lilia. I only care about those I love." Lilia felt a chill down her spine at his words. "So tell me, will you return?"
Slowly, while staring into his enticing and demanding eyes, Lilia found herself nodding. "Yes, please wait for me."
King Reyn smiled. "Always."
—
And so begins the cycle.
When Lilia returned to Jayx, his attitude was as cold and cruel towards her as the day she had left.
The days go by miserably for Lilia, and no matter what she did, she could not rid Jayx of his foul mood.
Before long, Lilia couldn't let a day go by without thinking about Reyn, and when she would see him next.
She would stay with Jayx just long enough to be able to explain her trips as "missing her friends and relatives". And then she would stay with Reyn for as long as she possibly could, but still short enough to blame it on having met difficulties while traveling home.
It was a vicious cycle. It was a cycle Lilia couldn't help.
And so, for two, tiring years, it continued.
Reyn refusing to find a new Queen, and grasped onto this possible chance with Lilia; Jayx never explaining himself, never communicating with Lilia, and never forgiving Lilia; Mirandin still waiting inside the castle, holding onto a bare glimmer of hope that there is a reason why the King has yet to sent her home; and Lilia, caught in between two men, and between doing the right thing, and what she wants.
Despite how the situation tore Lilia apart bit by bit with each passing moment, Lilia didn't want anything to change.
After all, she didn't want to have to choose, yet again. She simply couldn't.
Sometimes, that moment before anything happens—everything is perfect, and all one want to do is to grasp onto that moment and never let go, even as it begins to flail helplessly.
But nothing lasts forever. Just as certain as time will pass, inevitably, things change—people change.
And during a warm midsummer's night, Lilia's worlds shattered.
—
King Syaoran strode quickly towards the throne room, frowning as he glimpsed the kneeling figure of Kaho on the ground.
"You're starting to become quite troublesome for me." Was the first thing he said, as he stopped in front of her, whipping his trailing robe behind him.
Despite having been kneeling on the ground for over an hour, Kaho showed no sign of physical discomfort as she stared slowly up into the eyes of the King. With one glance into her eyes, the King had to blink in surprise—the emotional trauma showed clearly across her face as well as her soulless, dull eyes. "Your Majesty." She said, her voice empty and ringing with a hollowness, as she touched her head slowly to the ground.
When Kaho didn't move after quite some time has passed, King Syaoran began to feel slightly uncomfortable, as he frowned, wondering what could've happened to her. After all, the Kaho he got to know was full of life and pride and self-respect. "Kaho, you may rise now, you realize."
Slowly, as if she were being pulled upwards by a string, Kaho rose, as she stared into the King's eyes. "Please forgive me for my crime, Your Majesty. From this day forth I promise I will do anything you say, and I will never attempt to escape this castle ever again. I will be like your loyal servant and I shall never speak a single word of complaint." She kowtowed once more, touching her head to the ground.
King Syaoran stared uncertainly at the woman before him. "Kaho… you've only escaped my castle… despite that to have slightly ruined my image, I do not believe a lifetime of slavery is necessary. In fact I know that kind of punishment is simply outrageous. Not to mention… well, having had a talk with Sakura, and what with her seeming to be horrified at the idea of declaring your sentence, she gave that final say to me. And thinking it over clearly, I realized that truly, as mentioned, now that I already have a woman in mind, I do not mind your escape as much. In fact, if you'd just be a little more patient and go back to your cell for tonight, tomorrow morning I am willing to announce that both you and your companion will be free, and you two may go wherever you desire, and we'll just assume this whole thing never happened." The King finished with a smile. Truly, after seeing how much Sakura was suffering, King Syaoran realized he didn't care about his pride that much, he didn't care about punished Kaho anymore—all he wanted was to erase the pain from his Sakura's face. And truly, was this case really so important? It would be much simpler for him to just let them go, and then he would actually be able to spend time with Sakura, and see her smile, which ultimately, he wanted more.
But to his surprise, Kaho rose abruptly from the ground and stared at him in desperation, fear clouding her eyes. "No…" she whispered. "NO! Please Your Majesty! Please, if you really must, then just release him! Please, release him and let me serve within this castle as a servant for the rest of my life!"
The King was surprised as he saw a tear slipping down Kaho's cheek. "Kaho… your reaction… it's starting to remind me a little of Sakura's reaction earlier… There seems to be something going on, and I feel I am left in the dark. I know I can sometimes be ignorant but right now even I can see that something is clearly tearing you apart. You should also know that you have many friends within these castle walls, and if I were to sentence you to be a maid here for the rest of your life, I can only imagine the amount of hell the girls would put me through…" he said sourly, envisioning what had happened the last time he locked Sakura up. "Which is why I cannot grant your request. However, I would like to know what is on your mind, and what is the problem that seems to be traumatizing everyone."
Kaho's eyes cleared slightly as she stared at the face of the King. Truly, he has changed so much. Could it all be because of Sakura…? Looking into his eyes and finding no trace of deceit or jest, Kaho allowed herself a weary smile. "Your Majesty, you have become quite a fair and kind-hearted King. As much as I'd like to explain to you the full truth, for your sake, I cannot tell you the reason behind my down. But if I may be so bold, I would like to make a suggestion for the verdict of mine and Touya's trial."
"And what might that be?"
"Release only one of us tomorrow, and the other a month later."
"Oh? And why would you want that?"
Kaho lowered her head slightly, as her long hair fell down, covering both sides of her face. "So that I'll never have to see Touya again. If you release us on two different dates, we will forever lose track of one another's location… and we would not be able to find one another, even if we wanted to."
"Touya… isn't that your companion? The one who risked his life to save yours? The one you revealed your identity to save?"
"Yes…" she whispered, feeling a deep pain in her chest. How things change. How they change so cruelly and without warning…
"But why? Aren't you… well, I guess, together or something? I've always assumed him to be your man."
Kaho chuckled sadly. "Then you're mistaken. He was never my man…" and in a low whisper, she added, "and never will be."
King Syaoran stared at her for a long time, before letting out a deep sigh. "Well, this does sound a lot more reasonable than requesting me to sentence you to being my maid for the rest of your life… And, I am glad you were able to confront to me your real desires. And so, I will grant your wish. You are a woman, Kaho, and I know that a month in jail will take more a stronger toll on you than your companion. And so, tomorrow, I will release you, and sentence him to a month in jail." The King looked slightly off the side. "Never liked him much anyways…" he muttered. "Does that sound good to you?"
Kaho smiled bitterly. This time, when I leave, I will make sure that you will never find me again… Goodbye, Touya… "Thank you, Your Majesty."
"Good. Is that all? Because I have somewhere to be."
"Well, actually…" Kaho hestitated. "This is very bold and unfair of me to ask, especially since you have just been so kind to me… but… for tonight… or at least till tomorrow at the trial… I do not wish to see Touya… could you possibly, let me stay elsewhere for the night?"
The King sighed. "You know, if I wasn't anticipating something I might actually have the time to become frustrated with you. But, you're a lucky woman—I believe Tomoyo has yet to find another roommate. Feel free to stay with her till tomorrow morning." With that, the King turned around, and began to walk away.
Behind him, Kaho allowed herself a small smile, as she once again, touched her head to the ground, except this time with grace. "Thank you, your Majesty. Even as I leave this castle tomorrow, I promise I shall not ever forget your kindness, no matter where I am. I do not regret our encounter, though I could only wish it had been under different circumstances. But I am very happy that you have been able to find the right woman for you."
The King paused in mid-stride at her words. He closed his eyes, and let out a deep breath of air. Slowly, he turned around and stared at Kaho wearily. "They say I am so lucky, and as the King, I can have whatever I want. Yet that is not true. As the King, I am unable to have that which is most important in a person's life—friendship. I understand it is inevitably that due to your status and mine, that once you leave tomorrow, we shall never see one another ever again. But, had I been born different, perhaps… I believe we could've become… friends. Unfortunately that does not exist in my life."
"Never again…" Kaho whispered. "How harsh that word is, yet how true. It means enough to hear those words from you, Your Majesty, I am truly grateful, and I will miss you." Never again, Touya…
The King allowed himself a small smile. He didn't know when he began to… feel. Though he had a strong suspicious that it happened after he fell in love with that young woman, Kinomoto Sakura. "Goodbye, Kaho." He said at last, before turning around to walk away, unable to look at her any longer.
—
Sakura ran through the long, gray hallways of the castle, as she hiccupped, tears running uncontrollably down her cheek. She looked an utter mess and she knew it, but at that moment, she couldn't care less.
All she knew was that she needed to find someone—anyone—before she collapsed from the pain and agony.
She just needed someone to throw their arms around her and comfort her, and tell her everything's going to be okay, because at that moment, for her, everything was not going to be okay. Not even close.
She ran towards Tomoyo's dorm and pounded on her door anxiously. Nobody answered. She headed towards Ilonka's room and knocked, and again she was greeted by silence.
Feeling on the verge of a nervous breakdown, Sakura ran through the entire floor looking for any traces of anybody she knew, but to no luck.
She considered returning to her dorm, but she feared that once she collapsed there, without the presence of anyone else, she may never be able to get back up again.
Dry hiccups wracked through her body as she sought desperately for help, her body shaking uncontrollably.
At last, she came to a conclusion. After all, despite everything, he had always been there for her when she needed most. And she's never needed someone as much as she did now.
And so, Sakura ran and ran, her legs barely steady, but at last, she reached the grand door to the King's dorm. He did say he would wait for her here. His dorm, his library, they were both interconnected.
"Lady Sakura! You are here!" A few maids came rushing forward, giggling amongst themselves at her arrival. But as they came close enough and saw the deadness within her eyes, their laughter instantly died out. "L-Lady S-Sakura?"
Sakura looked up slowly, her hair matting across her face in disarray. "T-The King, I-I need to see the King." She tried to state as calmly as she could, but even she could hear herself hyperventilate from that short sentence.
"R-Right this way, ma'am." And they led her inside.
—
It was a warm summer's night—warmer than usual. Lilia had just returned from her trip to "visit friends of other villages" as she held out her hand to turn the door knob to the small hut before her.
But before she could, the knob turned on its own as the door swung open, the figure of a young man towered over her. "I'm sick of this." Was the first thing he said. Under the moonlight, his eyes looked deadly.
Lilia jumped in surprise, her belongings dropping to the ground. "J-Jayx." She stuttered.
Angrily, he bent down as he reached into her bag and pulled out a golden necklace. "What the hell do you take me for, Lilia? WHAT THE HELL? Am I just a stupid, useless fool in your eyes, is that it?" He dangled the gold chain barely inches from her face. "Who gave you this? Huh? Tell me dammit, WHO THE HELL GAVE MY WIFE THIS?"
Lilia winced slightly, but tried to compose herself. "I don't know what you're overreacting about, Jayx. For goodness sakes it's nearly the witching hour, surely we must get some sleep. It's bad omen to be awake at this time."
But he blocked her path as she attempted to step into the hut. "You've yet to answer my question." He bit out scathingly.
"Oh, you're overreacting and being ridiculous! My friends give me gifts, is that such a crime?"
"Depends on who the friend is. If the friend happens to be a lover, then yes, as your husband, I find that to be a very heinous crime."
Lilia's heart skipped a beat. "I-I don't know what you're talking about…"
"I'm sure you don't, Lilia…" he laughed bitterly. "I had hoped that if I said nothing, you would come to your senses within time and stop all this absurdities. But clearly, you have not." He paused, narrowing his eyes hauntingly at her form. "Lilia, you're a fucking whore."
Lilia did a double take at his biting words as she felt a wave of shame washing over her. Never, in her life, had anyone, anyone dared to speak to her in such a way, calling her by such a dirty title. "I-I beg your pardon?" Her voice cracked a little. Having lived all her life as either a princess or a Queen, the one thing Lilia had never experienced was emotional abuse. And to hear such words out of the mouth of a man whom she had thought loved her, tore her heart apart.
"You heard me." If possible, his glare hardened even more. "I cannot believe what a fool I was… fighting for your love like that, believing your every word, risking my bloody life to save you! Oh had I only known! What a fool I was… tell me Lilia, what does he have that I don't? Or do you care so much for money?"
"Money? You think I care for money? If I cared for money I'd never have lef—" Lilia bit her tongue just in time. She had nearly said, 'if I cared for money I'd never have left Reyn in the first place'. But such a forbidden sentence she knew she could not say, especially at such a time.
"What's the matter? C'mon, Lilia, enlighten me. What do you wish to say?" Jayx taunted slowly. "Truly, there must be something you wish to tell me. Something you should've told me long, long ago. As your husband I believe that despite all the cheating and deceits, there should be at least some form of trust between us for you to at least tell me the truth to the error of your ways."
"E-Error of my ways? There are none, I have not done anything wrong, I don't see why you are treating me this way." Despite her words, Lilia's usual strong eyes shone with fear. She could barely recognize the man before her.
Jayx's lips twisted up in a cruel, mocking smirk. "Last chance, Lilia." He said slowly, his words calm and even. "I'm giving you one, last, chance to tell me the truth. If you tell me the truth now, I will go easy on you, otherwise, I'm not holding back. Wife, or not, I will not be insulted this way. So tell me, Lilia, where, have, you, been?"
In that moment how desperately Lilia wanted to tell Jayx the truth. But more than anything else, how desperately she wanted to get away, and run to Reyn's warm, trusting arms. But at this moment, in this quarrel, Lilia will not bow to him. Being born of high royalty, her pride came before everything else. "Visiting friends, Jayx."
Jayx took a deep breath, closed his eyes, as the cool summer breeze blew by, rattling the tree branches near their little hut.
Lilia held her breath the whole time, unsure what was to happen. When a good five minutes went by without movement, Lilia slowly began to relax, and that's when Jayx lashed out.
Nearly giving Lilia a heart attack, Jayx's eyes snapped open, an angry fire burning within them as he grabbed Lilia roughly by the arms and shoved her against the wall of the outside of their hut.
"AH!" Lilia cried in pain, feeling the impact against her back, Jayx's face barely inches from hers, breathing fire down her face.
"You slut… YOU DAMNED FUCKING SLUT! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM, HUH? AM I SOME REJECT TO YOU? IS THAT IT? YOU THINK I'M JUST THIS FUCKING IDIOT HERE WAITING DAY AND NIGHT FOR YOUR RETURN BECAUSE I HAVE NO ONE ELSE? WELL DAMN YOU TO HELL! I REFUSE TO BE DEGRADED LIKE THIS BY YOU! I RISKED MY LIFE TO SNEAK BACK INTO THAT FUCKING CASTLE TO SAVE YOU, YOU WORTHLESS WOMAN AND WHAT DO YOU DO IN RETURN? YOU RUN BACK TO THAT MAN! WAS THAT YOUR PLAN IN THE BEGINNING? DID YOU TELL HIM TO KIDNAP ME AND MAKE IT SEEM LIKE HE'S FORCING YOU TO STAY WITH HIM SO YOU COULD BE WITH THE MAN YOU LOVE AND HAVE MY PITY ALL AT THE SAME TIME?
"GOD I FEEL LIKE SUCH AN IDIOT! HOW COULD I HAVE NOT SEEN? HOW COULD I? THE WAY YOU TWO WERE, THAT NIGHT WHEN I BURST IN, YOU TWO WERE HUDDLING TOGETHER ON THE BED—GOD KNOWS WHAT YOU WOULD'VE DONE IF I HAD CAME JUST A SPLIT SECOND LATER!"
Lilia trembled helplessly within his grasp, her eyes wide with fear as tears slipped down her face. "O-Oh God… Jayx… I-It's n-n-not what you think… it really isn't…"
"And what the hell do you think I think?" He chuckled bitterly. "What the hell do you think I should think when my wife is fucking another man behind my back? Friends, relatives, my ass! You were just running away to that man, weren't you? I cannot believe this, I KNOW HE IS THE KING! I KNOW THAT DAMMIT, BUT I HAD THOUGHT BETTER OF YOU, LILIA! I HAD THOUGHT OUR LOVE COULD SURVIVE ALL! BUT IT SEEMS THE ONE THING IT CANNOT IS MONEY! IT'S ALL THE GOLD! THE LUXURY! I NEVER KNEW YOU WERE SO DAMNED SHALLOW!"
"No…" Lilia whispered, tears pouring down her cheeks more rapidly as she shook her head furiously. "That's not true, Jayx, it's not true! I would never choose money over love! I would never! It was only because these past few months with you, I felt so lonely and—"
"Well that's just beautiful to hear. You're not just running to him for money now, you're running to him for money, sexual favours, and love. That is PERFECT. Why don't you just marry HIM then?"
At that, Lilia couldn't help but to let out a small, bitter laugh. But I did… she thought miserably. And I left him, because I fell in love with you, Jayx. And at that moment, as she looked into those crazed eyes, she couldn't remember why she ever did such a foolish thing.
"What, you find this funny?"
Lilia shook her head slowly, tears running freely down her cheeks, though her trembling had stopped. "No, Jayx, I don't find this funny at all…" She shook her head slowly in disbelief, as she hung her head low, her hair falling over her face, as tear drops fell down towards the ground like rain droplets. Yeah, what is wrong with me? She thought miserably. Why didn't I stay married to Reyn? Why the hell didn't I? Why did I put myself and Reyn through such heartache? Just so I can be with… with… with this? Slowly, she looked up, and saw that the anger remained in his eyes, and she couldn't help but to think of Reyn's eyes. How he would stare at her, and how gentle they always are, despite the cold stare he sometimes gave to everyone else. It always warmed her heart watching them soften as his gaze shifted to her… "Jayx… will you let me explain the whole truth?"
Jayx paused for a long time, searching her eyes. He had hoped for sincerity, but all he found was emptiness and hopelessness. And he knew that right now, at this moment, their relationship was over. Her eyes weren't full of the determination that he loved. At this moment, she didn't seem to care very much for anything at all. They were so dead, so soulless. And he opened his mouth, and said one word: "No."
Lilia's heart shattered completely. The initial shock and pain was beginning to wear away, yet the tears continued to fall, like the blood that dripped down her broken heart. She couldn't stop them. She couldn't be bothered to stop them. "No? Why?"
"No, I do not wish to hear your explanation. I gave you chances. I gave you three years worth of chances. But you did not trust me enough. If you truly love that man so much, you should've told me, and together, maybe we could work something out. But not anymore, Lilia. I refuse to be with a woman like you." With that, Jayx removed his grip on her arms, and like a broken doll, Lilia fell down to the ground, her dress puddling around her, her hair hanging down the side. But Jayx could've not seen her. He simply walked away from her as he opened the door to the hut. "I don't want to see you tonight." Was all he said, as he walked into the hut.
From outside, Lilia could hear him latching on three chains.
—
An eternity could've passed before Lilia finally found the strength to push herself up from the ground. The night was still dark, the moon high in the sky, and she had nowhere to go.
Wavering from side to side, Lilia began to walk, her eyes gray and soulless, her mind a blank, tear stains smattered all over her face.
She didn't have a destination, she simply couldn't care anymore. Born a princess, raised as a Queen, Lilia absolutely cannot take emotional pain. As a romantic young woman who can barely survive without being loved, how could she possibly take everything Jayx had just thrown at her?
Lilia didn't know how long she walked with only the moonlight as her guide, but soon, she began to see faint traces of light in the distance.
Very soon, she arrived at a town. It was a town she had never seen, or simply never seen at night. But it was a town of happiness and fun. Despite the late hour it must be, the town was filled with chatters and laughter, as couples roamed through the brightly lit street, stopping at various stores and game stands.
Watching the scene before her, and absolutely unsure why, Lilia began to laugh—empty, dry, mirthless laughs.
She didn't know how long she wandered in this town, but she soon stood in front of a tall traditional-style building that looked like stacked temples. She walked into it and headed up the stairs till she reached the highest level.
There, many people sat around tables, drinking and laughing, enjoying the night. But Lilia merely stood by a large window, as she gazed into the night.
A cool breeze blew by, and Lilia couldn't help but to wonder what would happen if she fell straight down from up here. Briefly she wondered if it was high enough to allow her to die instantly, or would she be saved and have to suffer life-long pain. "Is it a worth a try?" She asked herself softly, a crazed giggle escaping her lips. "I wonder…" and slowly, with her hands on the window frames, she began to lean downwards.
"Excuse me miss, may I help you?" Lilia jumped as she felt a hand on her shoulder as she quickly spun around. It was a waiter.
"No, I'm fine, thank you."
"Are you sure you don't want anything?"
Lilia paused as she glanced around. At the very corner of the place sat an old monk by himself in the shadows, drinking alone, endless empty bottles scattered on his table. "Him, what's he drinking?" She pointed. "I want what he has."
The waiter seemed uncertain. "Miss, he is drinking a very vulgar form of alcohol, that is rather unsuitable for a lady such as yourself. It is also rather expensive and you might not be able to p—"
From around her wrist, she took off two pure gold hoops and settled them on the table. "I want what he's drinking."
The waiter stared at the jewelry on the table as his eyes widened slightly. "Yes ma'am." He replied, walking away quickly.
—
Half an hour later Lilia had three empty bottles on her table, a half-empty one within her hands as she drank straight from it, ignoring the small cup brought to her. Each gulp burned down her throat, and with each drink, Lilia tried to swallow her pain and misery with it.
She could feel her insides burning. Her head was pounding inside her skull. Yet despite all the pain, she could still feel the pain of heartache, and she wished at that moment she could simply burn her heart to ashes. "Why won't it stop aching…?" she whispered to herself, as she felt a fresh round of tears welling up in her eyes. "Why is this happening to me…? Why am I so unloved? Why is this so damned difficult? ALL I WANT IS A LITTLE LOVE DAMMIT! I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO LOVE ME!"
All around her people began to stare.
"Jayx… Reyn… somebody… why is this happening to me…?" Lilia mumbled, wiping her face dry. Yet to her surprise, as she looked up, she saw a young man standing before her. "Well, hello 'ere…" her voice slurred. "You lookin' for a girl?"
The young man bowed politely. "May I ask for your name ma'am?"
Lilia giggled. "You're one luuuucky guy, ya know?" She began to laugh uncontrollably as she got up from her seat, wobbling over to him. "Let's go somewhere, hmmm?" But she barely took two steps before she tripped and fell right onto him. Luckily the young man seemed to have anticipated that and caught her perfectly, as he tried steadying her.
"Ma'am, may I know of your name?" He tried again.
Lilia's cheeks were flushed as she put her hands on the young man's shoulders, pushing herself upright. "Lilia. Isn't that a funny name? Li-ly-ya… hehe."
The young man suddenly seemed cautious at the mention of her name. "It's a beautiful name, ma'am."
"Thank yooou! What about you? What's yooour name?"
But he ignored her question. "May I ask of your last name, Lilia?"
Out of instinct Lilia nearly said 'Lin', but then quickly bit her tongue, till she realized she no longer belonged with Jayx, either. The laughter slowly died out of her as she sighed, looking at the floor. "It's Lilia, kind sir. Just Lilia."
"Oh my God…" the young man muttered in shock as he quickly sat her down on the chair. "Please wait for me, madam." And with that, he ran anxiously to a nearby window of the restaurant, as he shouted downwards, "MARCUS! MARCUS GET OVER HERE!"
A few moments later another young man ran out from the 1st floor of the restaurant as he looked up. "What's up?"
"GET THE CARRIAGE! QUICKLY! GET THE CARRIAGE! I HAVE LILIA HERE!"
The boy at the bottom paled slightly as he quickly raced off to do as he was told, as the young man quickly returned to Lilia and offered her his hand. "Please, ma'am, you must come with me."
Lilia took another big gulp of her drink as she eyed him. "Hmm? To where?"
"Uhh…" the young man looked frantic. "Look, first you must stop drinking that…" hesitantly he reached forward and removed the bottle from her hand and set it on another table.
Lilia glared at him. "Gimme that."
"Miss, please, I beg of you, come with me."
"NO!" Lilia whined like a small child. "Gimme that!"
"I—look—umm—I—oh forget this, I'm so sorry ma'am." He said as he mentally slapped himself, hoping he would not be punished for this. And in a swift movement, he carried Lilia into his arms, bridal style, as he rushed out the restaurant door, her yelping within his arms.
Luckily when he arrived at the first floor of the restaurant Marcus already had the carriage ready and waiting.
Quickly, he helped Lilia onto the seat as he sat next to her. The moment they were both settled, Marcus provoked the horses and they went racing out of town and into the dark night.
—
Sakura tapped her fingers on the table restlessly. The minutes were ticking by and the King was nowhere to be seen.
She could feel her heart beating faster and faster with each passing second, and she was afraid she would soon have a nervous break down.
"Umm… excuse me ma'am…"
Sakura jumped hearing a voice behind her as she spun around and came face to face with a frowning maid. "Oh, hello, yes?"
"You seem rather uncomfortable, and His Majesty specifically told us to make sure you are comfortable here at all times. Is there something you would like? A bath? Anything?"
Sakura shook her head quickly and forced a smile. "No, I'm good, thank you."
"All right, please call me if you need anything, I will be outside the door." The maid bowed as she began to walk away.
Sakura paused watching her retreating figure, pondering. When she nearly reached the door, Sakura called out, "wait!"
The maid spun around. "Yes, milady?"
Sakura closed her eyes. She couldn't believe she was going to ask for this. As a woman she'd never tasted alcohol, but during the time her mother passed away she remember her father drinking all the time, and he seemed to be much less troubled after he did… "Could you… bring me some wine?"
"Yes, ma'am. What kind would you like?"
Sakura looked down with a deep sigh as she closed her eyes. "The strongest you have."
The maid was uncertain. "My lady, I do not believe that to be a wise choice… the strongest wine we have could potentially—"
"Look I don't care! Just get it!" Sakura snapped. She was feeling restless and all she wanted was for that feeling to go away. She didn't want to think about Touya. She hated the way his last words echoed in her mind over and over again.
—
The moment they were a fair distance from the town, the horses slowed down as the young man removed his hand from Lilia's mouth, and instantly bowed. "I am so very sorry milady, but please know this is only for you own good."
Lilia touched her head as she felt a wave of dizziness. "How could you—I can't believe—It's just so—" Finally, she let out a deep sigh. "It is quite alright, sir… I am not a woman of importance anyways… whatever you do to me… no one would care…" as the last sentence left her lips, she couldn't help the tears that rose to her eyes, which she quickly wiped away.
The young kneeled as best as he could on the floor of the carriage. "My lady, that is simply not true! Your presence is divine, and it is above all."
Lilia chuckled bitterly as she leaned back and closed her eyes, her hand remaining on her throbbing head. Maybe drinking so much wasn't such a great idea… especially when it was her first time drinking. Though the cold wind blowing on her face was helping things slightly. "No… I am nothing… I am unwanted…"
The young man sighed with worry. How could a woman such as herself feel this way? What could've happened? He would be devastated if he were to see her in this condition… he thought to himself. "My name is Miles, and the man guiding the horses is my younger brother, Marcus… we are honoured to be in your presence… Your Majesty."
Lilia's eyes snapped wide open as she sat up abruptly. "I beg your pardon?"
Miles bowed once more. "I'm terribly sorry to alarm you so. I know His Majesty would not like you to know of this… but… His Majesty also worries for your health greatly, and watching you just now, I fear for your emotional state…"
"What's going on…? Who are you? Why do you call me 'Majesty'?"
"… You are Queen Lilia, am I correct?"
Lilia swallowed. "I am Lilia, yes."
Mile sighed, as he spoke, hesitantly. "King Reyn… he worries about you so much…" he swallowed. "I-I shouldn't be telling you this, as His Majesty told me that my presence might alarm you… however despite my lowly status I dare believe that you have the right to know of this. A few years ago when you arrived at the castle… during your second visit to the castle, I believe… when you left, His Majesty was worried about you, a-and, he, he sent Marcus and myself to follow you and to always make sure you are all right… and if anything were to happen to you, anything at all that would cause you discomfort, we are to do everything in our power to help you… of course he also didn't want us revealing our presence to you… however, tonight, seeing your condition, I believe the only way we could help is this…"
Lilia's hand covered her mouth as tears welled up in her eyes. Reyn… How much do you think of me? How much do you do for me? How much are you sacrificing for me…? Why am I so blind? Why did I not see? Truly, in the end, am I the selfish one? Oh Reyn… Because of my stubbornness and misunderstandings I do this to us… to you… You, who love me above all, saving me in my most desperate moments… "W-Where are we headed to?" She managed to choke out at last.
"Where do you wish to go?"
"I… I want to see him…"
Miles smiled. "I'm glad you feel that way, because that is where we are headed towards. His Majesty is currently visiting the Village of Maisé… we should be arriving there very shortly."
Lilia closed her eyes as a small, sad smile brushed by her lips. Reyn…
—
"WHERE IS THAT BLASTED KING?" Sakura cried, slamming her umpteenth glass of wine on the table, her face flushed.
As if on cue, a maid rushed by quickly to collect the empty cup as another set new ones down near her. They both rushed away quickly, watching her with concern.
They felt this to be unhealthy for her, but the King had requested them to do her every bidding, and she has ordered them to keep the drinks endless.
"Stupid friends…" Sakura muttered, downing one cup.
"Stupid husband…" she continued, downing yet another.
"Stupid King…" as another glass emptied.
"Stupid, stupid, STUPID! But most of all… stupid me…" And Sakura swallowed yet another glass, this time a single tear fell down her cheek. "Why did this happen to me…? Why? Why do I do this to myself dammit, WHY?" And with that, she fell across the table in tears, knocking glasses onto the ground.
The maids quickly rushed by to clean up the mess. They barely knew this girl, and have only seen her less than a few times with the King, yet they knew from her previous behaviour that this just wasn't her. Something must've happened, and they prayed that the King would return soon.
"Milady…" one of the maids whispered in her soft accented voice as she touched Sakura on her arm. "Please, do not do this to yourself… no more drinking, please… why don't you consider a bath? I guarantee it will help you feel better…"
But Sakura continued to cry onto her arms, feeling a deep pain and emptiness in her heart. "Nobody's here… there's nobody… nobody wants me… oh why would anyone want me? It's just as Touya said—I'm a wench! A bloody wench! How could I have been so naïve? How could I have been in denial for so, damn long? Who the hell did I think I was fooling, huh? WHO THE HELL DO I THINK I AM? I-I, I have to stop these games… I have to break it off… I-I must…"
"My lady… please…"
To her surprise, this time Sakura spun around abruptly and grabbed her by her apron, shaking her roughly. "Where the hell is that bloody King? WHERE?"
"M-My lady! Please! Please do not blame me! I do not know where the King is! But I do worry for your current condition, so I beg you—stop these alcohol and take a bath, I am sure you will feel better afterwards!"
"I don't care! I cannot feel better till I speak to the King! There is something I must tell him, I must!"
The maid looked pitifully into Sakura's face of broken pieces and pain. "Take a hot bath, please milady, and I promise, his Majesty will be back when you are done."
Sakura closed her eyes. Her mind was so clouded and hazy from all the wine. "All right…" she finally agreed as some maids began to gather hot water into a wooden tub, as two others ushered her into the washroom, undressing her, and a last one left to prepare her a night gown.
—
King Reyn woke in irritation. He came to the Village of Maisé in secret to visit his people as Lilia had once done, and he finally understood why she loved the villages so deeply. Truly, they were all such kind and wonderfully unique people. But it is times like this when he missed his royal services—who the bloody hell would knock on his door at this time of the night?
He got up in frustration after 10 solid minutes of knocking. Growling slightly, he ripped the door open, ready to give the person a piece of his mind. "All right do you have ANY idea what TIME it is—"
But he froze at the sight before him. Well saying that wouldn't be exactly accurate, after all, in his eyes, Miles and Marcus could've been non-existence. All he saw was his Lilia, slung unconscious across some man's (or woman's, or thing's for all he knew) arm. "Oh my dear God…" he whispered quickly carrying her into his arms.
—
King Syaoran was slightly irritated as he finally made it back to his chamber. It is always quite irritating to meet people in the corridors, especially having them clearly wasting his time by attempting to get on better terms with the King so that they could later ask him for favours.
Night has already fallen, and the King could only hope he didn't have Sakura wait too long. Though the mere thought of her brought a smile to his lips.
"Your Majesty." The maids standing outside his door bowed.
The King smiled at each of them happily; a gesture none of them ever remembered seeing from this previously cold-hearted King. "Has Sakura come by yet?"
"Yes, your Majesty, she has… in fact she has been there for quite a while now…"
"Oh, then I mustn't keep her waiting any longer." He grinned, eagerly stepping through the door.
"B-But, wait! Your Majesty, please wait!"
"Yes?" He asked, though it was clear he did not want to waste even a single second more.
"Your Highness… p-please, please be… be careful… and be gentle…"
He raised an eyebrow. "Be careful? Is everything all right? Did something happen to her?"
The maids were uncertain how to speak of her behaviour as they looked at one another. Well, hopefully she had calmed down by now… "N-Nothing Your Majesty." They bowed quickly, opening the beautifully carved door for him.
The King entered the room, as the door closed behind him.
—
Reyn settled Lilia down on his bed as he touched her flushed cheeks tenderly. "My dear Lilia… what happened to you?" And that's when he remembered the two figures at the door.
In an instant, his demeanor changed from gentle to that of a raging tiger. "What the HELL have you done to her?" He growled, taking large strides towards the two young men at the door.
They fell on their knees in an instant and touched their forehead to the ground. "Your Majesty! Please! Do not be angered! We only did what we thought would be best for her!"
"By doing what? Drugging her?"
"Your Majesty, please listen!" Miles pleaded. "You have assigned us to look after your dear Lilia, and we know how precious she is to you! We have been working for you since we were children! Please, you must listen to us and believe us! I understand you are angered as well as surprised, but understand it is not what it seems!"
King Reyn closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm himself. Mile was right—the brothers were brought to him when they were merely 4 and 6, and ever since then, they've worked loyally by his side. "Please, explain. Tell me what has happened to my Lilia."
"Your Majesty, to be quite honest we are not a hundred-percent sure. As you have requested, I stayed in a hotel in the town nearest to her home for the night. Marcus was downstairs watching a late night performance as I was having a late dinner upstairs. And suddenly, Her Majesty Lilia stumbled into the room looking an absolute mess! At first I wasn't sure if it was her, and I didn't want to alert her of our presence, but soon she began drinking! It wasn't just any normal drink either! She had the waiter serve her an endless supply of Crimson! And she just kept downing the cups one by one, and I could tell she was in deep pain.
"I know you have ordered us to keep our identity hidden at all cost, but I could not let her keep doing that to herself! And I approached her and I asked for her name. When she told me 'Just Lilia', I knew it had to be Her Majesty. She was clearly beyond drunk and I couldn't risk leaving her there alone. And in her state, somehow she seemed so… so lonely… and, and I couldn't think of anything to do for her, and I'm sorry, but I dared to make my decision and declare that it was best to bring her to you."
King Reyn absorbed all the information as he let out a deep breath that he had been unaware he was holding in. "You did the right thing." He said at last. "But please understand I'm not in the right mind to be discussing this with you two as of right now. I must tend to Lilia. Please see me tomorrow morning."
The brothers bowed as they stepped out, closing the door behind him.
In the dark, King Reyn's eyes were wide with fear and anxiety. Though previously tired, sleep was the last thing on his mind right now. "Lilia…" he whispered, his hands supporting his body as he leaned over Lilia's sleeping form, watching her flushed cheeks. "My love, what could've happened to you? Who dares to torture you so? I will hunt that man down and make him feel your pain if it's the last thing I do…" he swore. The thought of someone hurting Lilia angered him so. Lilia was a kind, and loving woman. She would never hurt anyone nor offend anyone. Which meant anyone who hurt her is simply evil, malicious and unjust.
King Reyn closed his eyes for a brief moment. Though he felt sleep drifting back from that brief second, he knew he would not sleep tonight. Or the next night… or how long ever it took for Lilia to wake up.
When he reopened his eyes again, however, he was surprised to see Lilia right in front of him, sitting, her face barely an inch away from his.
"Lili—"
—
When the King entered his dorm, he was afraid Sakura might be throwing a tantrum in his room somewhere, but he was utterly shocked when he founded her curled up and asleep atop his bed in a very, very thin pink night gown.
As he walked closer to her, he could see that her hair was wet, as well as the traces of pink tints in her cheeks as well as arms and legs—though he assumed them to be from the steam that engulfed her as she took her bath.
The King shook his head quickly as he felt himself blushing. This is Sakura… she's not just some ordinary woman… I mustn't be untamed… And he moved forward to pull a blanket over her body. But as he did so, he suddenly noticed that she had opened her eyes wide, and was staring him.
"Ah…" his hands holding the blanket froze an inch above her body. "Umm listen, don't worry I'm not trying to—"
But to his surprise, Sakura suddenly wrapped her arms around his neck, as she pulled him down towards her.
"Sakur—"
—
King Reyn stared with wide eyes as he tried to control the lust that rose within him. It's been too long since he felt such a passionate kiss from his Lilia… "Lilia…" he whispered, his eyes wide in the dark, searching her eyes, wondering what she was thinking.
"Reyn…" Lilia muttered, as she sought forth once more for his lips.
But Reyn pulled back slightly, uncertainly. "Lilia… I'm not sure this is such a good idea…"
Lilia stared at him for the longest time, before her arms fell down as she fell across the bed, huddling her legs against her body, turning away from him, weeping softly. "I knew it…" she muttered. "I knew it… n-nobody wants me… I'm so alone… n-nobody would want to be touched by a wench like me… I-I'm shameful… I am beyond disgust… n-no man would ever want me… no one could possibly love me…"
King Reyn frowned at her ridiculous words. "Lilia, what is the matter with you? How could you possibly say such things? I've told you time and again that you will always be the one and only woman I'll ever love, and—"
"Lies!" Lilia cried covering her ears, her tears falling from her eyes more rapidly. "Do not tell me such lies Reyn, I can tell so easily from your action! You are disgusted by me aren't you… you don't love me! Yes, perhaps once you did love me, but no more! Because of what I've become… oh God, what have I become? Am I really that despicable…? That no man would ever want to be touched by me ever again…?"
"Lilia this is absurd! It is absolutely untrue! I was simply concerned for you—"
"Concerned for me!" Lilia shrilled as she turned around facing him, angry tears still dripping down her cheek. "Leave me alone, Reyn, I don't need this from you again! Not again, not ever!"
"Lilia, please just—"
"I know you're just pitying me again, looking at how broken and worthless I've become yet of course you must protect yourself first!"
"Can you just let me—"
"What reputation it would bring to you to be touched by a woman such as myself! Oh the shame, the humiliation!"
"My dear you are being absolutely unreasonab—"
"My God, Reyn, I have become unworthy for you, haven't I? You can tell me that you know, I would like to know the truth! Much more than for you to pity me—"
But her words were cut short as Reyn captured her lips in a fervent kiss, his large hands moving down her back.
—
"My goodness…" the King pulled back as he panted slightly, watching her with a bewildered expression. "What has gotten into you, Sakura?"
As Sakura stared at him, tears began forming in her eyes as she bit her lips. "I-I knew it… you know it don't you… you can feel it…"
"What? What are you talking about?"
Sakura brought her hand against her lips as she turned her head away, weeping. "You kiss and touch women all you like, every woman that's ever been in the competition. Except me. What does that say? Oh God I should've seen the signs all along… what was I thinking? That you would be so easily fooled?"
"Sakura…?"
"You hated me since you laid eyes on me… all you wanted was to break me slowly didn't you…? You just wanted me to lose everything, and become unwanted, then you will dispose me, like trash! Trash!"
"I don't know what you're blabbing about but—"
"Now nobody wants me… I have no one… I am alone in the world… the shame must be so visible on my face… so visible that you are to become repulsed by my touches! You have been with hundreds of women; this is nothing new to you! I know that! Yet you do not want to be with me!"
"Sakura it is only because you are so special to me that—"
"I should've seen this coming…" she continued to mutter, her voice becoming more and more hysterical. "I am unwanted… I am ugly… I thought, I thought perhaps you would like me, even if it's just a little… even if it was just a tiny bit you wouldn't be revolted by my touches… yet clearly I am disgust to you…"
The King stared at her intently. What on earth was she blabbing about? The only reason he had pulled back was because he respected her, and he did not wish to do anything that she would not want. Does she have idea how difficult it is for him right now, starring at her beautiful face, her silky hair, her flushed skin? Not to mention this is the first time he's ever seen her dressed so little… and my, she smelled absolutely heavenly… "Sakura, you have no idea what you're doing to me…"
"I have no idea? Oh, I have every idea in the world! I disgust you! It is so clear! J-Just what is it about me? T-Though I guess I should've known, that you would find out sooner or later about To—"
Her rambling was lost as she felt the King push her body against his, his lips caressing hers with a passion she had never felt.
—
"Don't you ever dare have such foolish thoughts ever again, understand…?" King Reyn whispered.
Sakura's tears dried as she stared into those brilliant amber eyes. Her body was warm and hair was beginning to stand on her arms. "My King…" she whispered, before pulling him down towards her, her hand running through his hair.
As King Reyn pressed harder against her, and feeling exhausted from the night as well as the alcohol, Lilia collapsed backwards onto the bed with her King on top of her.
As much as he hated to, King Syaoran had to mentally scold himself to stop before it got too far. This was Sakura, after all, a woman he cared about, and he did not wish to tread upon her body without her permission. "Sakura… Are you sure about this?"
Lilia's eyes were beginning to water again. "Are you just faking right now? Pretending you want me, when really—"
With a growl, King Syaoran captured her lips furiously as his hand traveled to the hem of her nightgown. "I swear Sakura, I have absolutely no idea where you get these ridiculous ideas… you are driving me absolutely crazy…"
Lilia closed her eyes feeling his touches. It's been so long since she's been with a man… nearly over two years to be exact.
Sakura moaned softly and that was all the inspiration the King needed as all doubts cleared from his mind, his kisses traveling down her body.
"How dare you say you are unwanted…" King Reyn growled as Lilia pulled off his shirt. "You're a woman, you're MY woman dammit, and I will always, want you."
Lilia closed her eyes as she bit her lips feeling a sensation she hasn't felt from her former husband for far too long.
"If this is what you wish, then I will make you into a woman tonight…" King Syaoran whispered passionately, as he pressed his body against her soft skin.
—
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—
Author's Note: Please don't kill me. :winces: please no flames either… :winces at thrown tomatoes: And know that this is very crucial to the plot line… yes, Sakura and Lilia are both very drunk… and that is going to play a HUGE role… (I think most of you might be able to guess what's going to happen…) I'm gonna take a guess and say someone's gonna leave a review and tell me that the title of this chapter is the understatement of the year…? :sweatdrops:
Anyhow, I should let you guys know that I'll be heading to China on July 3, and I will return either at the end of July or end of August… So I will try to get some updating done when I get back. If I don't update by mid-september… umm I mostly died then. -.- Am not kidding… (ish not very fond of the plane) In that case… sorry? You shall all never find out the ending…? n.n;
I apologize for the crappy writing in this chapter… especially the lack of the "olden day English"-ish writing… I think I've been reading too much little wolf LOVER stories lately and her writing style is VERY different XD;
Truth be told I've been thinking/writing to lead up to this scene for a very long time… and I know what's going to happen afterwards but I'm gonna need some time to find an appropriate way to link everything together… :sigh: going to bed now, physics exam tomorrow at 9, it's currently 12:42 am. -.-
10,745 words… one of my longest chapters ever… O.o