Uncharted Lands

2. Realizations.

A few hours later, Booth was still awake. He was afraid to go to sleep, afraid she would disappear, afraid this wonderful moment would slip from his grasp. He had trouble believing and understanding what was going on. A baby. She was pregnant with his child.

He remembered when Rebecca had told him she was pregnant. He'd been much younger, and his first thought had been: Oh my God. What now? But not this time. The thought had been partially the same. Oh my God. But the second part had made the difference. Yes. Oh my God, yes. She's pregnant. We're going to be a family.

Because never in a million years had he considered the possibility of her not wanting him in her family, not at that moment.

Later, of course, he had remembered that this was Bones, and sometimes her mind worked in a very different way from his. But not now. She had told him she wanted him in her family, and it had soothed his heart to hear her say it, even though deep down he couldn't really picture it any other way.

But here he was, with her, them, in his arms, and although one side of him was ridiculously happy, another side was worried. They had promised each other to wait, to make sure they were ready before doing this, because both of them had been hurt enough in the past. But fate had stepped in, and made the decision for them. He wasn't sorry. He didn't regret anything. But still, it was overwhelming.

She stirred slightly in his arms, her breath hitching before he felt her softly move her head, press her face into his chest. 'Shh, it's ok,' he whispered, hoping she wasn't having a bad dream. This just felt so good, being able to take care of her like this, with her allowing him to. He knew she wasn't feeling comfortable with the care he had shown her on many of the past nights, but still, he was determined to show her how deeply he cared for her and how she should never ever doubt his intentions. He thought back to that first night, when she'd trusted him enough to fall into his arms, seeking his comfort. It had been her choice to make love, he had tried to stop her but in the end, there was no stopping either of them once her shirt came off and her hands touched his bare chest.

Once her sad eyes bore into his, seeking for an ounce of strength to hang onto, he was lost and she was saved and they both had known it and neither of them had cared.

He was torn from his thoughts when he felt her hand on his chest. He looked down at her, and his heart stopped.

Two blue eyes were looking straight at him, slightly dazed from sleep.

'Hey,' he whispered. She blinked a couple of times, never breaking eye contact. 'Hey,' she finally managed.

'Something wrong?' he asked, concerned, his hand stroking up and down her back. She shook her head softly. 'Not really.'

'Not really, huh. What is it?' He knew when she wanted him to shut up, but he also knew when she wanted him to push a little. This was one of those times.

Her hands came to his chest, and he could feel their heat through his shirt.

'It's just.. I keep thinking this is a dream, Booth. That I can wake up at any moment.'

He nodded slowly. 'I've been feeling the same. But it's not a dream, Bones. It's real.'

She turned away from him, onto her back. 'I don't know if I'm strong enough yet, Booth.'

'For what?' he asked, turning his head towards her, lying on his side next to her. One arm lying between them, the other found it's way to her belly and he stroked her softly. 'You're strong enough, Bones.'

'Booth.. Raising a child, that's a lot of responsibility. We need to be sure about us before we do this.'

'I'm sure,' he said immediately, searching her eyes for unhidden feelings of doubt, finding none. She wasn't doubting them. She was doubting herself.

'I'm.. I know you say we're strong enough and we can do this. But I.. I'm not prepared for this, Booth. I want it, I've wanted a family for quite some time now. And although I never saw it happening, it is happening and I'm not sure how to deal with it now.'

He nodded. 'I understand, Bones. It's sudden. But you know what, it happened and it's beautiful and we're going to rock as parents, ok? You're gonna be a great mom.'

The softness and truthfulness in his voice wasn't lost to her and she turned her head to face him.

Suddenly it was clear to him how to prove her. Make love to her. Show her that you're great together, that nothing can get between you.

So he turned until he was lying half on top of her, his hands came around to cup her face. Her baby blue eyes were staring up at him, and he read uncertainty as well as confusion in them. He smiled down at her and slowly she smiled back, and that's when he kissed her.

His lips descended onto hers, softly at first, then more urgent as emotions were taking over their bodies. Brennan felt a surge of love and warmth flood her body and mind and she tried to pour it all into her kiss, her lips claiming his and her hands finding their place on the back of his shoulders.

She was clinging to him and he held her, one hand sliding under her neck to support his weight and the other caressing her side. His leg slid between hers and she gasped at the contact, this quickly turning into an overheated situation.

Brennan felt it and she broke the kiss, the speed of their encounter throwing her off balance. 'Wait,' she breathed, and he understood, kissing her cheek and down to her neck before releasing her.

He had trouble controlling himself, willing his body to slow down, but once it got a taste of his drug called Bones, he was lost all over again. This woman was his counterpart in every way. Without her he could no longer live. He wanted to tell her but he knew it would scare her so he kept it to himself, watching her as she slowly turned towards him, needing his comfort more than his body. He smiled at her, letting her know it was all right, and his arms stretched for her to come home to. And she did, without hesitation, and it made him the happiest man on the planet.

Without resistance she moved into his arms, but she quickly changed her mind again. 'I'm hot,' she muttered, and tried to discard of her shirt while in his arms. He chuckled and helped her out, his pulse racing, parts of his body responding immediately. She noticed it and a blush covered her cheeks. 'If you'd rather I keep this on, that's ok,' she whispered.

'No, no, please,' he said. 'It's ok, I just.. I just really think you're beautiful.'

'We can have sex if you want,' she stated matter-of-factly. He smiled at her and pulled his arms more tightly around her bare back.

'No, that's ok, you're tired and I just want to hold you. It's just.. I can't always hide my reaction to you, you know.'

She nodded, her nose touching his chest. 'I know, it's only natural for you to..'

'Ok, enough, let's just sleep, ok?' he interrupted her, not in the mood for her squint sex talk. She snuggled closer into his embrace and the feeling of her bare chest pressed against his clothed one was just erotic. His hands went to the rim of her pants, and hesitated. Would she allow him to do this? They had slept together, but this was something different. This was about trust, not sex.

At first she didn't understand that he was requesting something. Then, when he tugged lightly on her waistband and stopped, she understood and without a second thought she nodded into his chest. He didn't move and at first she was afraid she had misunderstood, but then she realized he was afraid of moving before he had her permission. She placed her hands over his and helped him slide down the sweatpants. They ended up on the floor and she was lying in his arms almost naked, apart from black panties. One of his hands on her back, the other lower on her back, he felt luckier and happier than ever. She was lying naked in his arms, letting him take care of her body while she slept. 'Thank you, Bones,' he whispered to her.

She moved her arm around his back and pressed him closer, not answering him, just reveling in the feelings that were racing through her.

It felt strange to be so at his mercy, but at the same time, she didn't want anything else. He would want to take more care of her than he already did, and she would allow him to do so from time to time. Because from now on, they were a family, and that meant sharing more than she might be comfortable with at first.

At that moment, she realized something. Even though she didn't want to admit it, she was happy this had happened. Very, very happy. She was carrying Booth's child, and that didn't only make her feel amazing, his response to her every move made her feel loved, wanted and she felt like she belonged somewhere other than in the lab. She belonged in his arms.

So yes, this was unexpected and yes, maybe it had been a mistake, but Temperance Brennan wouldn't want it any other way. The possessiveness of 'to belong' had often repulsed and infuriated her, and blame it on the hormones, but for the first time in her life she wasn't afraid to admit that for a long time, her heart had belonged to Booth. And his heart had belonged to her. And for a long time, all she wanted to live for was keeping Booth safe, helping him catch as many murderers as he had killed people and be the object of his affection.

His arms tightened a little around her, indicating he was still awake. He felt her respond, pressing her lips to his chest briefly, and he smiled in her hair. She had such an amazingly open and warm heart, and he was so happy to be the one to cherish and protect it. And now, something tiny was growing inside of her, and it made his own heart unbelievably full and warm. A few months ago he had been angry at every woman in his life. At Rebecca, at Hannah and at Bones. Especially at Bones. She was beside him every day and he just had to ignore their attraction because she didn't believe in it? But over time his anger towards her had dissipated. It wasn't her fault and it had been childish of him to blame his loneliness on her. And besides, he had never been lonely nor alone. Because she had always been right at his side, ready to take some of his burdens and carry them for him, even if they were not her burdens to bear.

A few minutes later, her breathing evened out and her hand on his chest relaxed, indicating she was asleep. His heart still so full of things he wanted to say, he couldn't resist the urge to tell her what he wanted now that she was too far away to register his words.

'I love you,' he whispered into her hair. 'I love you and I'll never stop.'

And she didn't hear him, because she was indeed asleep, but he felt so much better for having said it. Some day he would say it to her when she was awake, whisper it to her while making love or just say it, overwhelm her with it. He knew she might never be able to say the same to him, because she believed it to be such a vulnerable, precious thing, but he didn't care. He knew she loved him by every move she made and as long as he could read her body, it would tell him all he needed to know.

[Author's note: Ok, not much happened here. Next chapter is smut, because it's late at night and I'm feeling sexy, but I hope this didn't disappoint.

Oh! And DB tweeted that HH, ED and him did a commentary for 'Blackout in the Blizzard', how amazing is that! He tweeted 'with Em', I must have checked that over 100 times today. Cuteness!]