[Author's Note: Warning, M-rated. I've been in a mushy mood lately so maybe this is too much, but I hope you like it anyway.]
Uncharted Lands
3. Three
'When my landscape changes, rearranges, I'll be stronger than I've ever been.'
In the darkest moments before dawn, a man returns to his bed. What life is he leading? Is it the same life the man was living half an hour ago? A day ago, a year ago?
As he moves back under the covers, a woman gravitates towards his body heat. Is she the cause of his confusion, the reason why he feels as if his heart is too small for his emotions? Happiness is waging a war with sadness and fear inside the man's heart, causing him to leave her side in the middle of the night, to find a place where he could think about what to say to her, what to do when she wakes up.
Booth lies back down in his bed, next to Brennan's warm body. He needed to go to the bathroom and while he was there, emotions had overcome him and he had taken his time to calm down, shake his nerves and collect his thoughts before joining her sleeping form. Now he was back next to her, his hand on her side letting her subconscious mind know he was there.
Very few things were certain in this world, Booth knew it. But one of those certainties was the love he cherished for Temperance Brennan. And he had made sure she knew it, too. In that one night, in those unguarded moments when she had given herself entirely to him, he had seen the same from her. They belonged together, that was as certain as it was ever going to get.
Somewhere deep in Brennan's mind she registered his hand on her side, and slowly, her eyes opened to find him staring at her.
'Hey,' she whispered, her voice barely audible.
He smiled. 'Hey, sorry I woke you. Go back to sleep.'
'What time is it?' she asked, her mind slowly waking up.
'Early, I just had to use the bathroom.'
She moved a little closer to him, just because, and he stroked up and down her bare arm with his hand. He still remembered the trust she'd shown when he had asked her to sleep almost naked next to him, and now her vulnerability struck him once more.
Seeing her like this, her eyes clear in the darkness of the night, made him think back to when they had first made love. It had been the night after Vincent was murdered. He had taken her home, wanting to make sure she was ok and needing her close, and she had allowed him to keep her safe.
She had come to his bed not long before dawn, asking him without words to ease the pain inside, and he had tried, hugging her close, seeking comfort himself in holding her body.
Friendly, comforting closeness had turned into loving passion when she had asked him how she could live through this, how she could ever survive a blow like this, because it had been the only way he could think of to show her that she had so much to live for and that it was always worth it.
*six weeks ago*
'Booth.. How can I ever live a normal life? When everything is just so fragile?'
Her voice broke. 'When.. When everything I care about can just disappear like that?'
'Hey,' he soothed, his fingers brushing through her hair. 'Don't say that. You don't mean that.'
'But I do, I mean if I can lose everything this easily.. I can't handle any more pain, Booth.'
He turned, leaving her on her back on the bed, his body lying half on hers. His hands came up to cup her cheeks and softly, he brushed his lips over hers. 'Nothing will happen. We're safe. You're strong, we'll get through this, Bones.'
She didn't respond to the soft touch of his lips, her eyes were clouded with tears. 'How can you love so much when you know the pain it'll cause you?' Her chin wrinkled and a tear escaped her eye. He caught it with his thumb and brushed his lips over hers again.
'I can't hide my feelings like you, Bones. You love just as much and you'll hurt just as much if anything ever happens. But I know it'll be worth the chance. It'll hurt more if you never admitted it to yourself.'
He knew he was being way too blunt with her but sometimes that's the only thing she would register what he was trying to say. And she did.
Her lips responded to another touch of his, softly moving under his, as if her soul was finding something to hold onto. She kissed me back, his mind was screaming. You can make her feel that you're right, his body was whispering. And he listened to both.
He shifted to lie beside her, his right hand traveling down from her cheek to her side, caressing, asking permission. She turned her head to kiss him again and her own hand came up to cover his, making the decision, moving over to cup her breast.
Suddenly, all Brennan could see was Booth. All she could feel was Booth, all she could hear. Booth. And she knew this was the right thing to do. They had been building up to it for a while now, both knowing that it was inevitable, both just making sure they chose the right time. And this was the right time.
He had always wanted their first time to be slow but something had told him it wouldn't be. But it was. They both felt their connection, and it was true and real between them, and it was all they needed. They both knew this wasn't just about comfort. This had been inevitable since the moment they met.
His hand softly held her breast, not daring to move, still wanting her to prove it was all right. Then, she surprised him by cradling his face between her hands and moving up to kiss him fiercely, her lips parting and her tongue asking access to his mouth. He opened for her and their tongues met for the second time in their lives, and it felt just as right as it had the first time. Then, it had threatened to touch her imperviousness and she had run. Now, it touched her strong heart and she ran, but towards him instead of from him. Her hands moved over his broad shoulders, down to the hem of his shirt, needing to feel his body under her touch. He assisted, taking off the shirt in one movement. Then, he dared to move as his hands too wanted to feel her skin. So he took her with him, making her straddle his lap as his hands tried to pull his shirt over her head. She was naked underneath and he gasped. She was outrageously beautiful.
He had seen her figure often enough, fantasized about it even more. But reality was, it had always been fantasy and it would never come close to reality.
Her skin was fair, almost ivory, making for a beautiful contrast with her hair and bright blue eyes. She wasn't tiny like most of his girlfriends had been, but instead, she was gorgeously curved, her waist slender and her hips rounded, her breasts full and moving with her breaths.
For a moment, he was frozen by the sight of her naked upper body.
She looked at him, a blush quickly covering her face, moving down to her chest. She reached for him and he pulled her down for a kiss, one that told her what he felt, one that sealed their fate once more. 'God, you're beautiful,' he said, and the utter truth in his voice rendered her speechless.
She felt his hard member under her centre, the feeling of him creating a heat she hadn't felt for a long time. Suddenly, her need was more than love. It became a raw hunger for his body as well, as she worked the knot in the cord holding his pants up. He put his hands on her thighs, watching her face as she worked to open his pants.
He stroked up her thighs, to her waist, then cupped her ass and pulled her firmer onto his hardness. She gasped and her hands stopped, she just moved off him and started pulling his pants down. He helped her and somehow, her pants ended up on the floor as well. Now, she was wearing just her panties and he a pair of striped boxers. She smiled, as she realized she hadn't expected his boxers to be normal ones. She knew Booth, she knew everything about him. No more fear, no more hiding. With Booth she would trust herself to let go.
'We're really doing this,' she whispered, and he sat up next to her, his face concerned. 'You wanna stop?'
She shook her head softly. 'Don't ask me that,' she said, and he understood. She had made a decision and she didn't want to be given a chance to back away from it. So he didn't give her any. He now straddled her and with one hand supporting her neck and head, he lowered her down, kissing all the sense and logic out of her with something that could only be described as a dream. She let him lower her to the bed, her hands on his muscled shoulders and chest, kneading and learning.
He gasped as she touched a scar, and she reached up to place a kiss over it. Then she realized it was where he had taken a bullet from her and she found his eyes, holding them for a second, letting him know how grateful she still was, although she hated him for it. He understood and captured her lips again, telling her you're welcome and I will catch any bullet that comes your way, like it or not. She kissed him back, her tongue telling him the same: Any bullet coming your way is mine to stop. He understood and as his hands softly touched her breasts, his thumb caressing her nipple made her moan, and all he could think about was those little sounds, and the promises they held.
He supported his weight on one elbow as his other hand moved down her body, softly grazing her nipple, further down to her bellybutton and the rim of her panties. Her hips curved up and her hands moved down as well, reaching for his manhood. He gasped as her graceful hands cupped him, and she felt a rush of heat travel to her centre as she felt his size for the first time. She softly gripped him through his boxers, then moved her hands under the rim to caress his tip.
His hand moved to brush hers away. 'Later,' he whispered and she understood, moving her hands to the rim of his boxers to remove them, and he helped her, and soon he was completely naked.
Booth wasn't a shy man. Sure, he was a prude when it came to talking about sex, but he was confident in his body. There was just one thing that could get him on edge. Temperance Brennan and her baby blue orbs of wisdom, watching him, taking him in, seeing all his flaws, made him nervous. So he moved his head down to kiss her again, softly, his tongue tracing hers and soothing her worries, but also arousing her even more. His free hand was on her side, grazing the side of her breast, and her hand covered his to move him in the direction she wanted him.
When his hand touched the rim of her panties, she released him and wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him close, capturing his eyes and holding them.
'If we do this.. I'm not going back,' Booth whispered one last time, making sure she understood what she was getting into. She nodded. 'I know. I don't want you to go back.'
That settled it for him, and not giving her any more time to reconsider, he sat up on his knees next to her, carefully removing her panties. She assisted, her legs raising from the bed. Then she surprised him by wrapping her legs around his waist, exposing herself to him, trying to pull him closer. He smiled at her, the beauty of her actions devastating to him and he moved as close to her as he could. Her centre was throbbing wet in front of him, caressing the underside of his hard member, and he was just in awe of the situation. Again he reveled in the control he had, of course he wanted to take her right there, but something in him gave him the power to take this slowly. She seemed to be in more of a hurry, her legs pulling him closer, her hips slightly rotating, creating a friction that was almost enough to make him lose his control. Almost.
He moved his hips a little, causing his cock to rub along her heat, and he felt how ready she was. He knew she hadn't had sex for quite a while, and he just had to ask.
'You want me to go slow?'
Her eyes, which had been roaming his body, moved back to hold his. She shook her head softly and he saw the truth in her eyes. 'No. I'm fine. You won't hurt me.'
Her voice was soft, and he heard her arousal. He decided to go slow anyway, just to make sure, and locking eyes with her, he cupped her breasts as his cock found her entrance, like they were made to fit together as one.
As he joined them, tremors of intense pleasure and love crashed over him, and his eyes closed with their intensity. Brennan felt the same, her walls stretching to accommodate him, slightly protesting against the feeling long forgotten. He stilled when he felt her tense and heard her hiss, and he opened his eyes to look into hers, finding her eyes closed but her face open for him to read, displaying wonder, love, arousal and slight discomfort. He waited for it to disappear, and it did so quickly, and her hips told the story of her heart as she rotated them, asking him to move. He did, joining them fully, and a deep moan escaped Brennan's mouth. 'Oh..'
'Damn, Bones,' Booth whispered, feeling her stretch around him, her heat almost too much for him to bear. He had to stop, not just to give her time to adjust but to gain some of his control, his cock calling for him to just take her but his head screaming to take it slow.
He looked down at her body, so thankful for every inch of beauty that was finally uncovered and open for his eyes to admire. Then, he felt her move as her eyes opened to look into his, and he obeyed, how could he not.
He started a rhythm, long, slow strokes that made her insides quiver with pleasure, as he filled her over and over again. It had been a long time since she had even ever touched herself, so she was overwhelmed by the feelings he created, having feared they were lost forever, but they weren't. They were stronger than ever as the love for this man drove her to new heights, her body started moving with his, shaking as he hit a sweet spot inside of her. 'Ah, Booth,' she managed, and he moved his hands to come around her back, as he moved down over her. Her legs fell apart, no longer clutching around his back, giving him more space to move, encouraging him with her movements and her lips on his neck. Then, his lips found hers and as their tongues dueled, she felt it begin in the pit of her stomach.
'Oh my God, Booth,' she whispered into his mouth and he found her eyes, breaking their kiss, seeing her eyes widen with wonder as her orgasm took control of her.
Her insides massaged him, milked him, as he had no choice but to join her ecstasy, coming harder and harder than he ever had. Sweet endearments left his mouth, and he half hoped she didn't hear them, but he was too much in love to stop them from leaving his mouth. Finally, he moved to lie next to her, and as her tremors subsided and her breathing came down she remained on her back, lost for words, the silence between them louder than any sound.
After a while, she found her strength again, and turned to face him. 'I believe you now, when you said that it'll be less painful.'
She didn't need to explain further. He nodded. 'I'm glad. Thank you, Bones.'
She didn't move, but she regarded his body with care. 'You are in exceptional shape.'
He chuckled. 'Thanks. Hey, you ok?' He had of course seen her hesitation, the small signs of her insecurity, and she cursed herself for showing him.
'Yeah Booth, I'm fine. This was amazing.' What she really wanted to ask was if she could stay, but she couldn't ask him. She didn't want to be that dependent. That wasn't her.
So she moved to the edge of the bed, but he caught her waist. 'You're not going. Bones, please, stay here.' She turned around and envy encompassed her as she saw the vulnerability Booth let her see, the desperation in his eyes, the truth in his plea. She smiled, nodded, and moved closer, her cheek pressed to his chest, her arms around his solid body. 'We're going to hold,' she whispered. He nodded and pressed a kiss to her hair. 'We're the centre, we're gonna hold,' he answered, and both of them found the peace they had needed to finally fall into a peaceful sleep.
That was six weeks ago.
Now, he was lying beside her, still more and more in love with her every second he spent close to her. He had no idea how this would proceed, he had no idea how she really felt or how scared she really was. He knew she was at least a little scared, and he had vowed to whoever was listening that he would always keep trying to make her feel good, safe and protected. To help her chase away her fears, because ever since that night he knew it wasn't just his task to protect her mind, body and soul. It was his task to protect himself as well, for if something happened to him, a part of her would die with him. And he would never let that happen to her. Not before, and not now, when she was making his wildest dreams come true while she was asleep next to him.
Inside of her, a baby was developing. A child, their child. The product of their devotion to each other. And even though it was unexpected and they weren't the least bit prepared, he had never wanted anything more in his life. Except for her. And now he could have both. His entire world was changing, his life rearranging itself to accommodate her, and he knew that in the end, both of them would be stronger because of it.