[Author's note: I struggled with this one.. Don't know why. Enjoy anyway!]
Uncharted Lands
5. Game Changer
'Will you meet me for lunch later?' Booth asked her, while she got out of his car. She turned back to him. 'Ok, I have to drop off my files at your office anyway. I'll see you then.'
He nodded. 'Ok.'
One last look at each other, an unspoken promise, a smile and she was gone. He watched her walk towards the hospitals main entrance, and his heart warmed. This is what it would be like. From now on, he was allowed to look at her, allowed to touch her even, allowed to think about her whenever he wanted. She was pregnant and they were a couple.
After their encounter in the shower, Brennan had asked his permission to tell Angela. He had told her she didn't need permission, she could tell anyone she wanted and when she wanted. He understood that telling Angela was important to her, and that she was a bit anxious about Angela's reaction. But he knew she'd be over the moon and he thought it would be good for Brennan to spend some time with the new mom. So he dropped her off and drove to the office, giving her the space she was afraid of losing in a relationship.
Brennan was so grateful for his actions. Just dropping her off, not coming with her, providing her with time and space to think. She knew he understood her, and it calmed her brain a little knowing that he knew her troubles and still chose a life with her.
'Hey,' she said softly as she entered Angela's room. Angela was sitting up, expecting her friend, and she welcomed her with a smile. 'Hey, sweetie, how are you?'
'Great Ange, how are you? And how's the baby?' She looked at the crib beside Angela's bed, where little Michael was sound asleep. 'He looks peaceful.'
'Yeah, he's doing great, we're going home this afternoon. It's all so amazing, Bren.'
Brennan smiled and sat down on a chair next to the bed. 'Where is Hodgins?'
'Oh, he went to prepare the nursery at home, and he's bringing me some clothes. He's living in kind of a bubble. But it's sweet,' Angela said, a smile on her face. Brennan nodded. 'I can imagine.'
'So how are you and Booth?' Angela asked. 'Come on, Bren, you're not being a good friend, not providing me with details on.. anything.'
'We're good,' Brennan said. 'Ange..'
'Yeah?' Angela asked. 'What's up sweetie.. Don't tell me you're backing out. No way, Temperance.'
'No, I'm not,' Brennan answered. 'I'm not backing out.'
'Is he? No, Booth would never do that. He loves you.'
'Yeah,' Brennan said. 'He's not backing out either. We're solid.'
'But?' Angela's eyes were big and focused on her friend, noticing her nerves and fidgeting in the chair. 'What, Bren? Come on.'
'Booth and I.. We're in a relationship, Ange. And I'm going to do everything I can to let us hold. But.. There's a.. Complication.'
'What complication can there possibly be, sweetie? He's gorgeous, sweet, generous, smart, he loves you and you're finally ready to let him in.. It's all good, if you ask me.'
'Well yeah, there's nothing wrong exactly.. It's just.. I'm pregnant, Ange.'
Brennan's eyes held those of her friend, and she witnessed confusion, wonder, realization and excitement all cross Angela's face in a matter of microseconds. 'What?'
'I'm pregnant,' Brennan repeated, her voice stronger and a smile appearing on her face. 'I'm carrying Booth's child.'
Angela's jaw dropped. 'Oh my God! Congrats, Brennan. That's amazing! How did it happen?'
'I'm pretty sure I don't have to tell you that,' Brennan answered, a smile on her face and in her heart.
'Yeah, I know, but I mean.. Oh. Don't tell me you've never been so overwhelmed by feelings that you forgot about protection except for that one night after.. After Vincent.'
'Yeah, that's when it happened. I just.. I didn't even think, Ange. At all. But we used protection every time after. Except for now, of course.'
'Wow, that's a miracle. Just the one time? That's fate, babe.'
'I don't believe in fate,' Brennan said, but somehow even she thought it sounded wrong. She had to believe in fate. It was the only explanation for what had happened. The odds had been against her having conceived that one night, she had calculated her ovarian cycle the day after, and the results had said no way she had been at any risk of getting pregnant. But she was.
'How does Booth feel about this?' Angela asked, still smiling at her best friend, ignoring her fate comment because she too knew better. 'He must be so happy.'
'Yeah, he's pretty excited. And I am, too, Ange. I've wanted a family for quite some time now. And this is the right time. Although I don't think I'm quite ready, I'll be ready by the time I need to be. It's overwhelming but I'm so happy at the same time.'
'You deserve to be happy, sweetie,' Angela said, her hand reaching for Brennan's. She took it, and tears came to her eyes. 'There where times I thought I'd never get a chance at any of this,' she confessed, and tears clouded Angela's eyes as well.
'And then Booth and I told you you would be happy,' she smiled. 'And he knew it would be with him. And so did I, really.'
'It was never going to be anyone else,' Brennan confessed to herself and to Angela. 'I've known for a long time my life wouldn't be the same without Booth. Do you think two people can be made for each other?'
Angela smiled broadly. 'I can't believe you're asking me that. But yeah, I do. And you're two of those people. You're the sum of the parts, Bren. The two of you make a whole. And it's amazing that you've finally found each other. Don't let it go.'
'I won't,' Brennan promised. 'I.. I think I love him.'
This time, a tear fell from Angela's eyes. 'You're amazing, Temperance.'
They sat together for a while, laughing and talking about everything that was happening. Brennan revealed a few bedroom secrets about Booth, but not too much, and Angela was amazed at how open and relaxed Brennan seemed. Sure, she was scared of everything, and it was all very new, but she had confidence in herself and in Booth, and in the two of them together, that this would work out. And because of that, it would.
In Angela's opinion, Seeley Booth and Temperance Brennan had been in love for a long time. She had seen it, but the two of them had been oblivious to it. Small things had happened which had revealed bits of that love, but every time they had blamed it on the partnership. Angela had known better.
She had been a little scared when Hannah had been in the picture. But deep down, she had known it wouldn't work out. His whole heart wasn't in it.
A piece of his heart had been where it belonged, right next to hers.
Ever since that night in front of the Hoover building, Brennan had carried a precious part of Booth's heart inside of her. After that night, Brennan had come to Angela to talk to her about everything. Angela hadn't scolded her for rejecting Booth. She had just helped her friend understand what had happened, and how to move on, even if it hurt. But she understood that that hadn't been the time. She wasn't ready. But the woman in front of her right now, talking about Booth with a twinkle in her eye, she was ready. Ready to be taken away on the wings that were his love, and to be carried around on them for as long as she would have him.
Because even a long time ago, Brennan had known she had to open up. For herself, but also for Booth. Because by closing herself off for the experience that was a relationship, she missed so much. But she wasn't the only one. She had kept so much from Booth as well. Only difference had been that Booth had already seen a glimpse of what could be his, and therefore it had been even harder on him.
Angela tried to explain to her best friend that she had to say those three words, but only if she really meant them.
'I mean them, Angela. And I want to say them. But I'm afraid it will betray me in the end,' she confessed.
'Booth will never betray you, sweetie,' Angela answered.
'But it's not Booth I'm worried about. He has faith in himself that he will feel the same about me in fifty years, Angela. How can I tell him I love him if I don't even believe in that kind of forever?'
Angela sighed and took both Brennan's hands. 'You believe in it. When you're with him, you believe in that kind of forever. You'll see.'
And with that, they kissed goodbye and Brennan left the young mother and her child. As she walked out, she pondered Angela's words. She knew she was right. Every time his eyes met hers, she believed in eternal love. But that was the catch. She couldn't trust those feelings because they were brought on by hormones. Especially now that she was pregnant.
As she took a left into the bathroom and leant against the cold tiles to try and calm her upcoming nausea, she realized something. She had always believed in science. And this time it was science that made this real for her. It didn't matter that her feelings were brought on by hormones. The simple fact that they were there were evidence. And all she ever really needed was evidence.
Her nausea disappeared and she left the hospital, a strange sense of calmness surrounding her.
She was in love.
Booth's attention was caught by the sound of the elevator stopping on his level. He looked up over his documents to see who it was, out of habit.
And his heart skipped a beat.
The sight of her alone was enough to do that, but the air of confidence and ease that surrounded her, almost a glow, made her even more magnetic. He stood, walked towards her and in the middle of his office, opened his arms for her. She hesitated for a moment, meeting his eyes, and there she saw what she needed to see: He didn't care. Bureau or no bureau, regulations or no regulations. No one who worked here was stupid, they all knew their crime solving duo was made for each other.
They didn't disappoint. No one looked even slightly surprised when she took his invitation and melted into his embrace, her head close to his heart, his lips in her hair, placing a kiss to her temple. 'Hey,' he whispered, and let her go, following her into his office. 'Hey,' she responded. 'I told Angela.'
'Great, how did she react?'
'Like you said. She was very happy for me.'
'For us, Bones. For us.'
'Yes, for us,' Brennan corrected herself. 'I'm sorry, I'm not used to regular usage of that term.'
'I know. It's fine.' The selfish part in him hurt when she said 'me' instead of 'us', but really, he knew she didn't mean for it to hurt him. She really just didn't know 'us'. Not yet, anyway.
They decided to tell Sweets as well, just because he had a right to know, having been their counselor and a good friend, and also because he was ultimately the one who would be consulting the head of the FBI if it ever came into question whether they should keep working together.
'I wanna tell him, Bones, if that's ok with you?' Booth asked. Brennan frowned. 'Why, I would assume that you'd want us to do it together. Seeing that we are having a child together.'
'You told Angela, let me tell Sweets,' he asked, and she understood how important it was to him. 'Ok. But let's get some work done first, ok?'
He nodded, took the files she had brought and they started their work, like a normal day. Like nothing had happened. And it reassured Brennan, the way he just switched and went to work. They would be just fine.
Booth carefully watched his partner with all his senses, seeing her smile when he started putting their results together and noticing her lingering looks every once in a while, and they encouraged him. He understood he had to prove to her that they would work just fine as a couple, that their personal relationship would only enhance their work and their results. And this was the way to do it. Although he wanted to sit right beside her, he wanted his hand on her belly, or around her shoulder, he shouldn't and he wouldn't. There would be plenty of time for that within the safe walls of their homes. Right now, there was work to be done.
After an hour of hard work, Brennan excused herself and went to the bathroom. The nausea was gone before she got there, but she found herself overly emotional as she looked at her reflection.
She, Temperance Brennan, felt like she was the most lucky woman on this planet right now. And she knew that she wasn't, of course, but for once the feeling was enough to accept it. Booth had accepted her, he loved her, he was more than willing to do this with her. He wanted this as badly as she wanted it.
She had been apprehensive about showing their relationship in the middle of the building, but she knew that Andrew Hacker understood the relationship between her and Booth better than many people. And he would have a large hand in whatever decision the Bureau would make on their relationship, so ultimately, that would work out. And basically, she was just over denying everything to herself and to everyone else.
'I love you,' she whispered to her reflection as a test run. 'Booth.. I love you.'
