In bed with elephants
Owen knocked and entered Jack and Ianto's bedroom. "I got here about ten minutes ago. Tosh has been filling me in," he said. "From what she says Ianto is doing better. More like his old self." He paused. "Well, his new old self." He smiled as he heard Ianto singing loudly away in the bath.
"He's had a great day today," Jack heard a splash and smiled. "There are times which I bless the routine because it allows him a sort of sanctuary where he is most comfortable."
Owen nodded his understanding. "How are you doing?" he asked.
"I'm holding on. I am not important," Jack told him.
"Jack where have you been the past two days?"
"Tosh tells me you made up some miracle potion, I need to thank you for getting me back," he said sincerely.
"You're welcome and it was no miracle potion; it was a scientifically worked out formula based on multiple disciplines."
"Tosh said it was a combination of compounds, including a stimulant and something the Doctor added ?" He saw Owen nod. Jack narrowed his eyes and pulled at his lip in thought. "So how did you work out what you needed to use? It doesn't sound like something you can pull of a shelf."
"How? Let me tell you. First we picked up Martha, and then we landed the TARDIS on the roof in stealth mode, which according to Donna his companion must be the first time in history the cloaking device has worked. Hopefully we didn't crack any roof tiles. Utilising the scans on board we determined the problem."
"And?"
"You being conscious is living proof of the stubborn genius of three beings." Owen looked smug and put his hand on his chest. " Of which I include myself. And finally you can be thankful that your mate has a time machine," he added. He folded his arms as Jack looked curious.
"Is there something going on here I don't know?" Jack asked him slowly not sure if he wanted to hear the answer.
"Let's just say the compound I gave you that worked was not the first version we tried and leave it at that."
"How many?" Jack blinked.
"We had five," Owen said under his breath.
"Five!"
"Well it took time to get all the elements just right. By the third go we figured we had all the elements we just had to combine them in the right formulation."
"What I meant was how you managed to administer this five times."
"I don't think I fully understand it all, the Doctor gave this speech about time being a big ball of wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey stuff. Basically we went into the future to see if you would recover. You didn't. Then came and went backwards. It took a while to work out what we needed then we had to go gather it all together. Then we went from there. Sort of backwards reverse. Did my head in I can tell you."
"I think you had better start at the beginning," Jack told him.
"It all started when Ianto saw the TARDIS." Owen got the look. "Trust me; you don't want to know the entire saga. It's over, and we got you back. Time is safe; no 'Reapers' so we was meant to do this so let's just leave it at that," he warned recalling the Doctor had warned him he should only share so much and no more.
"How long?" Jack asked suddenly very quiet at the implications.
"I told Tosh a month but it was more like six," Owen admitted.
"Six months?" Jack looked horrified
"Yeah let's go with that," Owen told him. "Now the reason I am here enjoying your scintillating company is not to share the secrets of your seemingly miraculous recovery, it's to discuss how we get you off the stuff ." He sat down on the bed. "The solution injected was an amalgam of several different drugs. One affects the brain's ability to reach awareness. It stimulates the posterior hypothalamus, which is responsible for triggering the histamine neurons in the tuberomamillary nucleus. In layman's terms, it kick-starts your brain, ready to wake up from sleep. If used too long it has a side-effect that means you could become dependent on this to wake up. So what I'm going to start doing as of right now is to reduce the dosage in incremental steps over the next two days. It's vital we get that particular drug out of your system as quickly as possible. To help I will be using a counter-compound to ensure any residue is removed. Once the drug has completely gone from your system you will sleep, how long for is unknown but from the projections it will be about as long as the drug was in your system. Unfortunately this is another side-effect, so two to three days. I will be here to monitor you and during that time."
"If this drug regulates that function and we remove it won't that mean I can't wake up?"
"You will because the counter-compound will bind with the histamine neurons in the posterior hypothalamus and ensure that you do," Owen assured him. "Trust me Jack, we have done an exhaustive amount of work on this to ensure that once the drug was out of your system you would be able to sleep as per normal."
"Okay, and once I wake up?"
"Then you will return to how you were just after your heart attack."
"No change then," Jack said as he nodded his understanding. "How did you figure this all out?" Jack asked bemused at the medical expert.
"I told you, Genius. Along with your friend Martha and with laughing boy with his chuckle buddy, Donna Noble."
"Laughing boy, chuckle buddy," Jack said with a twisted grin.
"Yeah well, me and the Doctor over the past few months have had our moments. He can be very difficult when he has a mind and as for Donna, she has got one hell of an attitude. Him and her are well matched."
They heard the bath now emptying.
" Is Geoff okay?" Jack asked quickly.
"I've never seen a man so shaken; he left upset and subdued. He was beating himself up pretty badly and he was muttering something about you and him having a lot to talk about. And in light of what happened for god's sake talk to him." He stopped talking as Ianto entered in his pyjamas and got into bed. Jack wrapped his arms around him and kissed the top of his head.
"I'll catch up with you later with the next dose," he said, retreating towards the door.
"Good bath?" Jack hugged Ianto who was all moist and smelling of the fluorescent blueberry bubble bath he loved so much.
"Wonder Duck, my super yellow attack rubber duck, sank all the naughty bad boats and then the attack sharks came up and ate all the bad people. Then there was another attack by submarines, of which Wonder Duck then dived and with the sharks they chased them all away to the darkest depths where a mighty battle was fought. First even bigger nasty bad people came up for the bottom. They were hiding under the flannel which was really an underwater city. Just when they thought the bad people would win a giant octopus came because it was sick of all the loud bangs and nasty noises and squashed all the submarines flat. The sharks and the octopus were really hungry so the feasted on the bodies of the bad men. Then we had big party where everyone said big thank you to the sharks and the octopus because it's nice to say thank you. And Wonder Duck gave everyone rides."
"And you are far less sticky," Jack pointed out and Ianto kissed his cheek.
"That's because I had a real good wash. The water got splashed about a bit and got on the floor but I used the towels to clean up so the floor is all good. I put the dirty clothes and towels in the hamper. Tomorrow I can help Tosh with washing them," Jack gave him a thumbs up and Ianto wiggled his face shining with happiness.
"Have I told you how much I love you today," Jack told him.
"Yes," Ianto answered. "And I love you just in case you've forgotten."
"I will never forget, ever, promise." Ianto leaned up and gave him a kiss.
"How much maple syrup did you get through," Jack asked after a few moments.
"I love maple syrup it's all sticky and sweet."
"Bit like you which is why you needed such a long bath," Jack teased.
"I like being sticky and licking my fingers clean. I like being sticky with maple syrup and I like being all special sticky." He lent and gave Jack a big kiss then pulled back.
"Now tomorrow, the maple syrup is going away." Ianto looked sad and pouted. "And I am going to get sleepy."
"Will that other man be coming back? The one who told you to do the scary thing?" Ianto asked softly.
"Yes he will."
"Oh okay," Ianto replied shakily and hugged Jack tighter, throwing leg over Jack's.
"He's trying to help me be less tired, so that's good," Jack encouraged. "Remember we focus on here and now."
Ianto nodded. "I like things just you and me. I like Tosh and Owen but I really like it when it's just us. We can shut the door and talk and cuddle and have laughs and jokes; talking, I talk and you talk, we do loads of things together, that's what Ianto likes." Jack kissed him again.
"Now tell me all the things you ate with maple syrup," he asked after several moments.
"It's a long list," Ianto pushed himself up onto his elbow " I had pancakes, toast, muffins, milkshake…"
"You had a maple syrup milkshake," Jack interrupted.
Ianto smiled, cheekily nodding his head. "Yep, it was de-li-cious…cornflakes, omelette…"
"Tell me you didn't," Jack said groaning.
"Tasted funny so not having that again but I thinking it was the cheese, cheese and maple syrup does not work." He saw Jack make a face.
"Anything else?"
"Porridge, crumpets, bananas. Bananas that was really good I've added bananas to my what's best with maple syrup list and a nice man tall man in a brown suit came and gave me a whole tin of maple syrup sweets," Ianto told him.
Jack stiffened. "The tin was huge and round with a great big red fire engine on it and he said he was sorry. I can't think what for because I 've never met him. He just kept saying he was so, so, sorry and that he would try and make it up to me and this was a start. I put the tin in the special place with the other tin so I don't eat them all in one go."
"Oh," was all Jack could say at Ianto's revelation.
"He told me maple syrup comes from trees. I thought that couldn't be true and we went on the internet and he was right, and then he told me a great joke." Ianto's eyes widened. "How do you know there's an elephant is bed with you?" Ianto asked. Jack shook his head. "They've taken all the blankets and you're squashed up against the ceiling." He laughed then stopped when he saw a tear was flowing down Jack's face. "Sorry, did I make you sad?" Ianto said concerned.
"No I was just thinking how much I love lying in bed with you telling me jokes and how much I love you," he said holding Ianto close as Jack wiped his face dry with his hand. "I think that's a brilliant joke, do you have any more?"
"I love telling jokes, I've got loads. How do you know there's an elephant in the fridge?" Jack shook his head as Ianto squirmed desperate tell him the punch line. "There are foot prints in the butter," he burst out as he looked adoringly at Jack. "So I was thinking how would you get an elephant in the fridge, I asked Myfanwy and she said just open the door and put in the elephant. It was so funny I told Tosh and she laughed. Tosh then asked me, how did would you know there are two elephants in the fridge?" he wiggled then burst out the answer before Jack could respond. "Because you can't shut the door. This is another custard joke: "Why do elephants wear shoes with yellow soles? That's the bit you walk on" Ianto explained as Jack nodded in understanding. "So you don't see them when the float upside down in custard, I hope they don't meet any sharks because you would have elephant and shark infested custard."
"Where did you get all these?" Jack asked said laughing his mood lifting as Ianto continued.
"It was the man who brought the sweets. He said he had heard I liked a good joke and he left loads. Upside down in custard that's so funny…what I want to know is how would you get an elephant into the bowl so there would still be room for custard." He thought deeply for a moment then replied, "I guess that's why it's a joke…"
Jack sat listening his arms wrapped around Ianto and heard a knock on the door.
"Sorry to disturb you Jack, I need to give you the next dose." Owen popped his head around the door. "How you doing?" Owen asked Ianto as he walked around the bed
"Jack loves me and I love him and that's all that matters," Ianto told him as Owen injected Jack. Ianto watched what Owen was doing very carefully.
Jack closed his eyes as he felt the drug flow into his veins and his mouth fill with strange metallic flavour and let out a sigh.
'Jack loves me and I love him and that's all that matters.' Jack pondered Ianto declaration. He felt a shiver of fear, but pushed the feeling down. 'Jack loves me and I love him and that's all that matters, ALL that matters.' he repeated to himself like a mantra trying desperately to convince himself this was the truth.